What followed was hours of Ard trying to get me to form the fundamental spell, drawing out its structure in the ground when showing it through my elemental sight wasn't enough. No matter how she explained it, or how slowly she did so, or how well she drew it, I couldn't understand how to construct it. I understand the theory, creating a basic shell that could be applied to any essence in order to magically repair the wound using whatever essence is given. It could be replicated as many times as needed, and on severe wounds multiple spells would be cast at a time, but this would require a very delicate and precise touch.

But, the actual structure and why it worked I couldn't understand. It wasn't like Ard was speaking gibberish to me, or that I couldn't visualize it, but I lacked the fundamental control over the magic to create it. The fine structure that shapes the spell is too small for me to even see, I can't form anything if I can't see it. This was odd to Ard, everyone she knows is able to see to the same amount of details. But everyone she knows is a faery. I'm not one. And I've never been good at spells to begin with.

So after half a day, and the sun beginning his daily cycle of returning into the earth, Ard had decided she needed a way to get me to see deeper. She couldn't manually do this by linking her senses to mine, for whatever reason. She says we'd have to very literally share minds to do that, and that's something you do not do. Ever. No matter who, or what. She had very little idea of how to do this as it's never been required or done. She told me to instead spend the rest of the day meditating on my essence, to figure it out in the meantime. That's something I've been wanting to do for a while anyway.

Ard went towards the direction of the Móráns house. I've not seen them all day and that's probably intentional on their part. So I focused my sight inward, away from the external world.

More hours passed by, the evening turning to night. The sky was dark and covered by the stars, the names of which I've never been taught. The moon couldn't yet be seen, the trees covering her pale grace and her light from my sight. Ard had came back, her ears down but her posture as casual as always.

"Couldn't get much of anything out of the Móráns, unfortunately. They refuse to meet with you for anything but for figuring the curse that's made you mute. They'll warm up to you eventually. Probably." Ard opened up her door and beckoned me inside. I followed, getting up only to slouch down and almost crawl in. The room inside was dark as the light of the sun no longer gave us his warmth. I couldn't see her, but I could tell she was fumbling for something.

Suddenly a small light came, a spark bursting into a small flame. A white substance like a pillar stood, a tiny little wisp of a flame dancing on top. I stood, watching the little fire move in its own individual style.

"You don't have these either. They're candles, they're lit for a source of light. I have some things I want to talk to you about and doing it while we can both see each other would be preferable, right?" I nodded. The thin pillar of white was placed on a wooden tray, drips of the material could be seen falling down from the top. Or was it? The drips looked almost hard. Ard placed the tray on a small desk, an extension of her bed. Her chair was positioned next to it, but she didn't sit down on it, instead sitting cross legged on her bed.

"The house won't catch on fire. It's been both made to handle flames, and somewhat hardened against nature as well. Ignore all that." Ard watched the flame, something she prefers to do whenever it's around. "Did you learn anything new about your essence?" I shrugged. It's still a jumble of information, but I can grasp a certain pattern and structure within it. The start of an understanding, but it isn't a proper one.

"I see. Well, we'll wait and see how your progress develops. For now I want to address questions that I've had for weeks. Are you familiar with trading with your fellow kind?" I nodded, the basis of making a living through herbalism is trade. I wouldn't make for a good herbalist if I couldn't. "Good. Once I've completed my part of the bargain, of giving you back your voice, I'll have you make trade with your settlements."

I nodded my head, out of habit rather than agreement. I don't think Ard really needs me to do that, sounds like something she herself could do without much problem. But it sounded easy enough, especially if I had my voice back before initiating the trading. If it's with my own village then that'd be even better.

"Then let's start with the questioning. From what I've observed from you, you deal mostly with plants that grow in the forest. What you do with these plants I'm not aware of. Is there a purpose outside of eating the plants?" Ard stopped talking and looked at me, her ears slightly moving up and down. That's her question? I nodded. She nodded as well. "Is it for production of certain goods like cloth or dyes?" I shook my head, then shrugged. Mostly no, but sometimes yes.

"Then is it for medicine?" I nodded. Her ears moved slightly faster for a moment. "Do you have any other skills than medicine making?"

I didn't answer for a while. I considered what I've done throughout my life, and the knowledge I've accumulated in the short amount of time I've been living in this world. Outside of herbalism I don't have any specialist knowledge. I could farm if I needed to, I knew how to tell the soil and how to sow the seeds. But I doubt that's something that interested Ard, so I shook my head. Ard nodded.

"Then I will teach you how to be useful to me. There isn't much you can do around here, the Móráns have created an ecosystem where we, and you, can live inside indefinitely. As long as there are no intruders. And that's the crutch, defense against intruders. I want to teach you how to handle a spear and how to protect the Móráns. Otherwise you'd be doing manual labor most of the time."

I nodded, learning how to use a spear isn't something that sounded bad. So far this is sounding like an easy life. Ard's ears wiggled again, not as fast as before but noticeable.

"Then let's begin the questions I really wanted to ask. They'll be yes or no if I can help it." Alright.

Ard began to speak, for what felt like hours but might've also been less than one. After each nod or shake of my head, she'd throw another question about my daily habits and the daily habits of humans in general. What we ate, how we got it, where we slept, what did we sleep on, with who, when, the questions kept streaming from her mouth and the only interruptions came when she needed to think up new questions. At one point I stopped sitting on the floor and decided to lay down, staring at Ard from my prone position.

She might've taken the hint that I was tired, or she might've run out of questions. I doubt she actually ran out of questions, but she did relent, to my relief, and walked out of the building once again. She blew out the candle beforehand, and wordlessly walked out of the house.

I closed my eyes and tried to find the most comfortable position on the hard wooden floor. Lying on my back worked the best. Eventually I fell asleep.

---

The morning came as it did every day. Slowly, gradually, sometimes enchantingly. But it came, and with it came new experiences and trials. The test this time was of my patience, as I was sitting next to an oak tree, as I sometimes do. But I couldn't move. Or shouldn't would be the better word, as the smaller sisters of Ard were by my side, grabbing my hand and staring intently at my face.

The position wasn't uncomfortable normally, but their gazes was. Any movements of any limb would cause them to explode away. If I move a finger, they'd squeeze my hand painfully in retaliation. If I looked their way, they would lift my hand and hide behind it. So all I could do was breath, letting the two sisters do whatever they were trying to do in silence. Neither of them would speak, and their ears were as low as I've seen faery ears go.

It's been like this for three hours. I was cramping, bad. And I had no way of expressing it. Ard had told me to stay still and I didn't want to get punished again in the way she had done in the river. But if this continues for much longer, I think such a punishment would be better than whatever it is these two are subjecting me to. I could feel them work their magic inside my body, their movements slow and deliberate as they did something within it. It felt as if they were mapping me out rather than remove anything within me.

I had decided to meditate on the sounds of the birds, the chirping and the occasional sight of one perched on a tree. One had, at one point, perched on top of Saraid's head. She didn't move, and I don't think she noticed it either. Just kept her stare at my eyes, her grip firm but not painful. Unless I moved my fingers, of course. They were much, much stronger than their small frame would suggest.

I was used to silence, normally. I worked with Brenna in complete silence, save for when she wanted to vent about something. But this was painfully uncomfortable, beyond the level of being awkward. This could work as a form of torture. I'm convinced of that.

Aoibheann, the green eyed eldest sister, looked over at her blue eyed counterpart and began to speak. "I think that's everything." Saraid nodded in return, whatever conversation they were having I couldn't faithfully follow. Aoibheann looked up to me and talked. "Thank you for your cooperation. We'll be working on your problem by ourselves, but we'd prefer if you'd stick around. Being able to immediately test out ideas would be ideal." I nodded.

So they got up and walked several paces away, a fair distance away but not far enough where I couldn't see them. I was left out in the forest with nothing else to do.

From the moment I had woken up Ard was standing next to me, shaking me awake and telling me to get ready for her sisters to begin their examination. She didn't tell me what I should do afterwords, and considering this is as close to that afterword as I've gotten to today.

I could continue to examine my essence. But I didn't want to continue sitting here and would much rather move around a bit. So I got up, stretched my limbs and back, and began to walk. Not too far from where I had been sitting, I haven't forgotten Aoibheann's preference for where I should be. We were sitting next to their house, and besides that specific building I could walk around and inspect the various others.

Smaller houses could be seen, rabbits sometimes leaving and entering them. Were they used to house rabbits? Were they raising them? I could see weasels, too. This is a very strange combination of animals, all of them small as well. I would think the rabbits would be slaughtered by the weasels but that's not happening.

Ard's home was nearby, but I wasn't sure if she was inside or not. I was forced to stop paying attention to my surroundings, so I didn't know where Ard was. Even moving my eyes would provoke a reaction in the sisters. Closing them for too long was also bad, as one of them would tell me to open my eyes. If they wanted me to attack them the strategy they're currently employing was effective, most people would've snapped hours before. Probably.

I walked over to Ard's door and tried to open it. I hadn't opened it myself before, it was slightly nerve wracking to do. Placing a hand on it, I tried to push as I saw Ard doing. The door gave, and I could peek inside into the house. It was dark, the small opening was closed with a similar looking tiny door. No light as getting in as a consequence. No one was home.

Now came the problem of closing the door. I noticed there was a small protrusion on the surface of it, maybe for the exact problem I'm facing with now. I grabbed it and moved the door back into the position it was before. With a nod I walked away, back to the original tree. Looks like I have no other option but to meditate on my essence, as I couldn't find Ard and possibly have her provide me with another task. I would stand instead of sit for this, though. I'm sick of sitting.

Moving back to the tree, I leaned on it and closed my eyes. Committing the same pattern to collecting my essence and then watching it, hoping that some sort of insight will come to me if I stare at it long enough. I would occasionally move it, just to see if watching the structure move around would prove to me any insight. It rarily did.

What I had gathered so far is that it's a lot of information. Other than that I couldn't grasp much of anything. I let out a long breath of air. I'm getting the feeling that no matter how long I stare at it, I'm never going to get anything done. So I released the essence back into the marrow and moved towards something that had been interesting me for much longer. The white webs growing across my body.

Other than that if I broke a single strand of it there's a big risk of my combusting into unholy white flame, I didn't know much about it. It hasn't harmed me yet, and none of the faeries mentioned it either. I didn't know how to ask about it, so I'll do the next best thing. I'll observe it.

It didn't pump anything, it didn't look to transfer anything either. The entirety of my chest was infested with it, dense enough for it to a single mass rather than millions of strands of thin lines. If it were to continue to grow my entire body would be enveloped in it. And observing it without interacting with it isn't providing me with anything.

I was bored enough to do something very stupid. I remember the pain the flames imprinted in me. I have my right hand as memory of what it could do. But from experience I also know leaving bad things to rot would lead to much bigger problems later on. If this was some sort of problem I'd prefer to get to know as much about it as I could. So I touched as strand.

I expected everything to explode, or to catch on fire again, or at the worst for me to simply die. But that conclusion didn't arrive. Instead, I got information. Almost like a whisper, a statement of a fact, of a truth that can't be ignored or ran away from. This was me. The light itself was me. That's all I knew. It was trying to understand your own thoughts, trying to understand existence through staring at it.

But I was enraptured by the sight of it. I would do nothing but keep my conscious on the tiny strand, touching it gently anytime the sensation of staring at myself would leave. It felt more real than the thoughts that ran through my mind, more of a metaphysical existence that I had accidentally been made witness to. More real than the magic that flowed in the world, but so subtle as to be missed entirely.

No, that's wrong. I had missed it entirely. All my life I hadn't noticed this substance, I've never been made witness to it since it was what I am to begin with. There are no mirrors that reflect the mind, there are mirrors that can reflect my face and show to me my features. But none can do this with the mind, if this thing could be called the mind. That title felt wrong, I was thinking using my mind now. This thing wasn't thinking. What even am I?

My reverie was woken up by an intrusion of an intruder's magic. I shot open my eyes, making sure to not move too much in case it was one of the sisters. Thankfully it was. Aoibheann had injected a small amount of her magic. Purple in color, an element I hadn't seen before, carved patterns into me. It moved through the strands of white in me, ignoring everything but still moving in strangely angular patterns. It settled within my throat, then moved back and left my body. I would guess Aoibheann had gotten the odd magic back.

I focused back into the material world and looked at the girl. She was ignoring me now, instead absentmindedly playing with my own hand and blanking out. She let go and walked back towards her sister. I guess she got what she wanted.