《The FPD (Fart Police Department)》Chapter 25. Warlord Hizen!
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Chapter 25 Warlord Hizen!
[Boom! Boom! Boom!] The disturbing Fart Mutant was rampaging throughout the 14th-floor department. It unloaded its misplaced anger at the many office equipments spread about, smashing desks and PC monitors. [ROOAAAAR!] Very soon it grew tired of ripping apart stationary objects, now it wanted to feel warm flesh sliding down its elongated throat which was randomly decorated with a variation of asses. And what better prey to chew on than the bundle of terrified officers who were hiding from the virulent fumes inside of Detective Myers’ office.
“This is bad!” Detective Myers alerted the other officers. “I thought it was just going to continue rampaging around aimlessly but now it is directing its focus on us.”
“Detective, will this thin glass protect us from its attacks?”
“This glass was made from Vas-Augmite, a very durable crystalline material. I think the most it can withstand are three of four blows from that freakish monster, judging by the force and impact of its thrust.”
“Which means it won’t take long for that stinking monster to break through.”
“Don’t call him that! He’s still my Peter!” A female officer who was crouching in the corner blurted out all of sudden which compelled the other officers to take a gander her way and formed gossip.
“Why is Diana acting so crazy? That thing outside is no longer officer Peter.”
“Shush, I think that they were in some sort of intimate relationship. I’ve caught them a couple of times sneaking off together.”
“Wait, isn’t she married to that porter who is in charge of document delivery on the 9th floor?”
“Yes, I believe she is.”
“What a shameless woman. Actually opening her married legs for another man besides her husband. A Dirty Diana indeed. MJ was spot on the money.”
“That’s why I told you that I’m never getting married. You can never trust women to be fateful these days. They are all sexual predators that will abandon you the moment they find better dick.”
“FOR CHRIST SAKE! What the hell are you idiots talking about in a perilous time like this?” Detective Myers was pissed off by the senseless gossip that the incompetent officers were spitting around him. “Focus on your goddamn survival! The monster is about to commence its attack!”
[Boom!] Perceiving the Fart Monster charging into the protective glass, the officers who were gossiping a short while ago, dropped their concerns for whomever wife was having an affair with another man and immediately roused their survival instincts.
“Prepare to fire the moment that creature breaks through!”
“But with our flimsy weapons will we even be able to damage that freak?”
“Maybe not, but we still have to try something. Otherwise, all of us might end up becoming human food!”
“It is times like this I wish I was packing some heavy artillery.”
“Stop complaining, it won’t solve anything. Here it comes again. The second charge.”
[Boom!] The Fart Mutant wasn’t messing around. There was a thick tail-like meaty protrusion coming out of its nape which it continually used to ram into the protective glass encasing Detective Myers’ office. [Boom! Boom! Boom!] The creature focused its attack on a singular point, very quickly, large cracks began forming in the glass. This horrifying scenery almost made the FPD officers shit their pants.
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“It is breaking through! Quickly, open fire at that crack opening!” [Bam! Bam! Bam!] Uncountable amount of bullets began shooting through the cracked gap of the protective glass. When these storm of bullets hit the Fart Mutant in its gut area, its bloated belly burst similarly to a balloon when abused with a pin. [Boom!] The sudden gut explosion littered the already untidy room with trails of disgusting entrails.
[Splurt! Splurt!] The farting beast staggered backwards, crashing into a lowly desk. When it crawled back up, the huge eyeballs that were hanging from its swollen side started glared at the officers who were hiding behind the durable glass with vengeful intensity. [RAAAAH!] It dashed towards the protective glass with its huge complex. [Dum! Dum! Dum!] Due to how heavy it was, one of its bulky legs sunk through the ground and got stuck. This accidental blunder almost caused its downfall.
Detective Myers made good use of this opportunity. “Now is our chance to escape while it’s stuck!” Detective Myers dashed through the cracks of his office glass with the other officers trailing behind him. He intended to retreat to the armoury located at the back of the department where he could get his hands on some grenades to toss at the farting monster.
“Careful. That thing is still alive.” [Thud! Thud! Thud!] “We’ll rescue officer Tongue on our way to the armoury.”
Of course, the Fart Mutant wasn’t going to let its prey escaped. “RAAAAH!” As the beast shout, its upper body separated from its midriff then dashed towards the sneaking officers.
“Danger! Get back!”
[Boom!] While the officers were trying to seek shelter back inside Detective Myers’ office, the beast acted swiftly by cutting off their path of retreat with a stroke of its huge fist, moreover, it made good use of this chance to grab up an officer of the law.
“Kyaaaah! Kyaah! Let go!” The FPD officer the monster had abducted was the former lover he used to have an affair with whilst in human form. It was the same female officer the others were gossiping about, Dirty Diana. How fitting for her be eaten by the same man she cheated with.
“It caught officer Diana! Shoot the joints before it pulls her in!” [Bam! Bam! Bam!] A storm of bullets were bombarding the Fart Mutant’s bulky arm, slowly tearing it to shreds. To remedy this brutal assault being served by the FPD, the beast whipped forward its other arm towards the officers.
“Get down!” [Boom!] The beast’s arm crashed into the concrete walls which incidentally shattered a large portion of officer Hizen’s private office.
“We can’t save officer Diana anymore. We have to look out for our own safety!”
“I agree. She is a lost cause.”
“She should serve as a good bait to aid our escape.” [Chep! Chep! Chep!] The officers abandoned Dirty Diana to get eaten by the monster while they aided their own escape. They left Detective Myers behind, even ran past the tall file locker officer Tongue was hiding in.
“Huh?” When officer Tongue perceived many human footsteps dashing by outside, moreover, heard their scared voices, she got out of the locker to try and escape with them. However, the moment she set foot outside the locker, officer Hizen made his appearance.
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[Step! Step!] What remained of Hizen's office doors slid opened. Two humanoid figures came out donned in dark vestment that was rife with all sorts of artillery. From head to toe their skin was concealed, but from their body build, Detective Myers who was crouching at the sidewall could tell that officer Hizen was the stout person in front who wielded a bloodthirsty chainsaw while officer Cryson was the slim guy at back grasping a shotgun.
“What are those two up to?”
Officer Hizen pulled a drawstring on the mobile chainsaw which set it into action. [Vrm! Vrm!] “Time to slice some monster’s smelly ass off. Cryson follow my lead.”
“Yes, major!” Cryson was standing by with a destructive shotgun in his grasp. He took notice of the Fart Mutant regenerating its severed body part across the room and almost barf. “Kiuk! Disgusting.”
[Huff! Huff!] Officer Tongue was crouched close by Hizen’s standing position. When she realized who those two men were. She ran towards them seeking aid. “Thank god! I might be able to survive after all.”
“Hm?” Officer Hizen shifted his baleful gaze to the woman who was dashing towards him in a scared trance. When he laid eyes on her swollen face replete with sores and lumps of abnormal quality, his survival instincts kicked in. “Infected!” [Vrm!] Hizen lashed out with his chainsaw slicing at officer Tongue’s neck. By the time she realized what had happened, her severed head was twirling in the air.
“No! What the hell did you just do?” Detective Myers who witnessed officer Tongue’s head splashing on the bloody floor, cursed at Hizen. “She wasn’t one of them you hot-blooded fool! She could have survived with proper treatment! Why did you have to kill her?”
“Hm?” Officer Hizen took a gander at Detective Myers, checking if he was also infected. He noticed some obtrusive rashes forming on his exposed flesh, but his condition wasn’t that bad as officer Tongue’s. “Count yourself lucky, Myers. Now pissed off if you don’t want to end up dying by my hands.”
[Whoosh!] As officer Hizen spoke, he dashed over a counter and leapt towards the regenerating Fart Mutant who still had its leg stuck into the floor. The beast saw him coming and tossed out a bulky arm. [Vrm! Vrm!] Its arm was swiftly cut to pieces by Hizen’s bloodthirsty chainsaw.
“Dammit! This thing became a dud already.” Hizen’s chainsaw got stuck between the bulgy parts of the monster’s severed arm. He abandoned the chainsaw, quickly retreated couple steps, swung around the huge weapon he had strapped to his back then dashed to the side of the monster while unloading tyrannical bullets.
[Bam! Bam! Bam!] The Fart Mutant was being ripped to pieces by Hizen’s assault without being able to retaliate. “I’m not finished with you yet you fat sack of shit!” [Bam! Bam! Bam!]
The monster couldn’t withstand any more of Hizen’s onslaught. [RAAAAH!] It jumped out of the sinkhole then trusted its huge disgusting ass towards Hizen’s face. It wanted to swallow him whole with its naked buttocks.
“How dare you thrust your stinking ass into my face?” Hizen equipped a larger version of his Rump Imprisoner and met it with the Fart Mutant’s massive posterior. “Violent Ass Lock!” [Boom!] As the Rump Imprisoner crashed into the mephitic monstrous butt, it manifested a thin capturing mechanism which swiftly quarantined the huge ass and shut its farting function down.
[RAAAH!] The Fart Mutant felt like a major part of it had been caged. Because of this, it was frantically gyrating its posterior, trying to get the Rump Imprisoner free. In response to its sudden outburst, officer Hizen dragged a belt from his waist that had 20 canisters of explosive installed.
“Chew on this, ass face!” Hizen used a nearby counter to propel himself upwards where the creature’s wide mouth was swinging violently. After reaching high enough, he shoved the explosive belt deep down into the beast stomach and pulled out his arm before it was chewed off.
[Chomp!] After missing the chance of gobbling Hizen’s flesh, the beast used the meaty elongated protrusion from its neck to slapped Hizen against the wall. [Boom!]
“Major! Are you alright?” Cryson dashed to Hizen’s aid, helping him out of the cracked wall.
“I’m fine, boy. Move it!” Coming out of wall unscathed, Hizen pushed Cryson away then dashed straight ahead. He was charging the beast like a rampaging warlord! With each advance, his step grew heavier. [Dum! Dum! Dum!]
“What is Hizen planning? Won’t he get caught up in the blast zone?” As this thought crossed Detective Myers’ mind, he quickly realized what Hizen was up to. “Don’t tell me he plans on mitigating the explosion range by doing that…?”
“This is the end of you, monster!” [Whoosh!] Officer Hizen flew over a crumbled desk with both legs thrusting forwards through the air while exuding a vehement tendency.
“Rah???” When the Fart Mutant noticed his soaring approach, a cumbersome double boot kick landed in its broad chest area. The blasting impact sent its huge complex crashing through the frail glass behind it. [Boom!]
“RAAAAH!” The monster gave off a resounding cry while it was descending the outer layers of the police station. Before it could smash into the ground, the explosive belt that Hizen had shoved into its stomach started detonating uniformly. [Boom! Boom! Boom!] The monster was reduced to burning smokes and ash.
[Thud! Thud!] Officer Hizen came to the edge of the shattered glass and glanced below at the smoking beast remains splattered all over the asphalt. From Detective Myers’ perspective who was perceiving Hizen’s broad back. That robust man resembled a warlord of the legends.
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