FROM THE SCRIBBLINGS OF RANY

Falcon’s army made the mistake of drawing too close, as if taunting us.

Alec did nothing for days. I began to think he was tiring of battle.

One morning, before first light, he readied some men for a patrol. Said he would lead it himself. I thought he must be getting bored. I watched as they rode off to the south. Alec had instructed me to remain at camp. I had no idea why. My injuries were long healed. I missed Whisper, but I had a new horse. Not as fast, not as smart, but no horse was.

Jade appeared some time later, meandering about the camp for a bit, then taking her own patrol to meet up with Alec. Another outlander, Kano Sabe, showed up some time after that, striding about in that imperious outlander way, even though he was pretty much a noob. He led another contingent out.

Soon most of our army was out on this patrol.

I began thinking about joining the fun, but they returned, most of them anyway, dirty and bloody from battle. They had just eliminated Falcon’s army.

Alec was not satisfied. Falcon had not been among them. His men did not know where he was – had not seen him in days. Two men named Beecher and Wardok had been commanding the army. Wardok was a renegade mage, so he was executed on the spot. Beecher was kept alive for a time. He was tortured a bit until we were convinced he really had no idea where his master was. He seemed to believe Falcon would never be coming back.

This did not sit well with Alec, who would probably never be convinced. Had to be a trick, he kept saying. Gods, this obsession was growing unhealthy.

We had new problems in the following days. Queen Emiline’s army from Konn was still wandering about Destra. Queen Kemile sent her own army out to confront them. Our army was in between .

“What are you doing?” Landria asked me. I had risen early and was fussing over my clothes, like my mother had when I was a boy.

“Thought I’d make some kind of effort to look respectable today. We’ve got fucking queens coming into camp.”

Landria burst into laughter loud enough to wake the whole damn camp.

“What the fuck is so funny?”

“You think Emiline and Kemile are going to be here? Honey, they are, at this moment, nestled in their soft beds in their fortified castles, cozied up next to whatever lovers they have taken this week, not to leave their beds until after midday and only then for their hot baths and massages. They send their generals to do all their dirty work.”

“You on a first name basis with the queens?” I asked wryly.

“I know their kind, that’s all,” she replied, in a tone that invited no further discussion of the matter.

She was right. The two generals marched into our camp, the next day. They spent the first day arguing over how many each would have in their honor guard, who would ride in first, and nonsense like that. Alec was getting so pissed off I was beginning to fear he would go to war against both of them.

When they finally arrived, it was in time for the midday meal, which they took together in Alec’s massive tent.

I was there as Alec’s aide de camp. My job was to fetch anything that was required and to otherwise remain invisible. It seemed to work, because the generals, Royse and Andrus, spoke and acted as if I was not there, never so much as glancing at me.

They rode in looking like pompous assholes, but all that disappeared at the moment the tent flaps closed.

They shook hands and exchanged cordial greetings, sat down and enjoyed a nice meal, and drank a good amount of wine.

The two enemy generals began to exchange stories of old campaigns and battles, which were quite entertaining in fact, both men gifted storytellers.

Alec looked at his wrist as if it magically would tell him the time of day, and said, “Well, gentlemen, you think we might want to start talking turkey?”

“What? Turkey?”

“Outlander expression, sorry. I mean talk about why we’re here. You guys have a little bit of a conflict. I’d like to help you get it wrapped up.”

“Yes, of course. Andrus, here are the terms I have been instructed to offer you.” Royse dug out a parchment from his coat and passed it to his rival.

General Andrus read the paper and laughed. “I see your queen has not lost her sense of humor!”

“No, of course not.”

“Come Royse, you know we cannot agree to this! Fifty thousand gold for invading your land? We were engaged with a renegade outlander army, the one good Alec here took care of. But our role was pivotal, would you not agree, Alec?”

“Of course,” Alec replied. “But that was weeks ago. Why are you still here?”

“We had to regroup! We had a lot of injured men!”

It was Royse who laughed now. “Injured men? What sorts of injuries are we talking about here? Twisted ankles? Hangovers?”

“I can’t give you fifty thousand gold, Royse. I don’t even have it!”

“Have your queen send it.”

“How long will that take? I thought you wanted us off your land!”

“True, I suppose. Give me a number then. I’ll take it back to Queen Kemile myself.”

“I can’t just give you a number – my queen would have my head!”

“Surely she gave you some kind of authority.”

“My army’s movement this far east was not planned, remember?”

“Oh come on, we both know that was a pretext.”

“Not this time, no!”

“Didn’t we invade your land last time? Allegedly? At most we were only ten miles in, and you said our valid reason was a pretext. Where do you think I learned the word?”

“That was a pretext. Chasing a bear? That must have been some bear! You had ten thousand men with you!”

“Guys, guys,” Alec interjected. “Let’s not rehash old beefs. Let’s focus on this one. I’ve got to be going here in a few minutes. Maybe Rany can take over.”

I looked up in alarm.

But the generals' arrogance got me off the hook.

“Who? Oh no, that’s not necessary, Alec. We can adjourn for the day and renew talks tomorrow.”

They departed a few minutes later, stumbling a bit from the wine. They might have each gone back to the wrong camp if they didn’t have their honor guards ready to show them the way back.

“Jesus Christ, Rany,” Alec said to me. “All I came here to do was kill shit.”