FROM THE JOURNAL OF RUBY

I have decided to begin keeping a journal. I took the idea from Handice. He was always writing in his.

My days are busy but the evenings are so dull, I find myself desperate for something to occupy my time.

I live in a cell in Sanctuary. It was once an actual prison cell, and to me, it remains so. I am free to move about during the day, but confined to my cell at night. I have no window – it is underground. I have a straw bed, closet privy and nothing else. I procured a blanket to keep from freezing to death in my sleep, candles so I do not fall and break my neck in the pitch black dark and a basin to wash my face, hands and feet.

I do not wish to complain. Had I remained in Glen Falls, I would have no bed, no plain garb, my feet would not freeze through my slippers on the cold stone floor, and I would find it quite difficult to write anything at all, for I would be dead. Like so many others.

In Glen Falls, there was a small contingent of mages who were displeased with things, even while Trang’s budding empire thrived. Perhaps they sniffed the trouble that would come. I do not know. They formally requested leave to resign and depart Glen Falls. After consideration, Trang granted their request. During the time he spent considering, I happened to join their number. We left for Meridea, just a few days after Handice left to go to his war.

Despite being more advanced in skill than almost everyone in the school, we were all named Applicants, the lowest rank. We will remain so, as a form of penance, for an undetermined length of time, upon which we may be tested to determine if we are worthy of becoming Initiates. If we are so fortunate to pass, we will then get to take the vow of silence, and spend all of our hours praying, for years and years.

Today was different, at least. Temple Day. The one day each week we are permitted to leave Sanctuary and see at least some of the outside world, if only on the walk to and from the temples. A day of the week I both looked forward to and dreaded.

I got out from under my blanket, felt around for my Applicant robe and put it on quickly, shivering in the frigid cell. The stone floor felt like ice under my feet, and I felt around for my slippers and put them on. I grasped around for my flint and lit the candle that had gone out while I slept.

Candle lit, I could at least see my hand in front of my face. I washed my face and teeth quickly with icy water from the basin and made my way out of the cell, down the long winding corridor to the line of Applicants and Initiates making their way up the staircase to the morning meal.

I took my breakfast of cold porridge at one of the long tables, sitting on the hard cold bench, surrounded by people I did not know. Occasionally I would recognize a face I had seen a day or two before. Even my own sister was a stranger here. She had taken the Initiate’s vow of silence, but on the rare occasions when I saw her, gave me the distinct feeling she would not speak to me even without the vow. I could not blame her. I was an awful older sister. Trang had told me she was here, before I left Glen Falls. I knew she might not welcome me with open arms, but did not expect her to simply look right through me.

I ate quickly. The porridge was mostly tasteless on its best days, and this happened not to be one. I tried not to think about the occasional bit of rocky grain that crunched hard in my teeth and had to be spit out into my hand. I tried not to listen to the sounds of people chewing all around me – there was no talking during meals even by those not bound by the vow. The sounds of other people eating had always disgusted me.

Through the cold halls of Sanctuary I walked with the hundred or so other Applicants. Outside, rain fell in a steady torrent. The relief of being outside Sanctuary lasted roughly one minute, before my hair was completely wet, my robe soaked to my skin, my feet squishing on the muddy path and stepping in deep puddles that I could not avoid, water oozing into my slippers.

I gazed longingly at the city that I hated, dreaming of a warm meal, sweet wine, a cozy inn with pretty music. It was not to be. I had to stay on the path that led from Sanctuary to the Temples, a full mile in the rain and cold. Many of the Applicants turned around and went back. Visits to the Temples were not mandatory.

When I reached them, I was shivering. I wondered idly if I would catch sickness from this excursion.

I always chose the Temple of Croix. God of Fortune. He was the most popular of the gods; thus, his temple was always the most crowded. Today, with the foul weather, it was not so bad.

At last out of the rain, I removed my slippers and walked the path around the massive statue, reaching the right rear corner of the stone throne. Here, I would kneel for three hours. When the city bells tolled eleven times, I would return to Sanctuary, for the midday meal and another week of drudgery.

This was my fourth visit since returning to Meridea. As always, my stomach flipped and tumbled at the hope that this would be the day. The previous three times, I had waited on my knees for three hours in vein. Anyone paying attention would think I was really damn committed to Croix. I didn’t believe in the gods at all of course. Few people truly did. Superstition and tradition was what brought people to the Temples.

Getting to my knees on the hard floor, I began my wait. To pass the time while I appeared to be praying, I would daydream, or eavesdrop for bits of news and gossip.

I waited an hour. News of Ariea. King Hemart had declared independence from the Empire. This was probably false rumor, but one never knew. My rule was to wait until I had heard the same rumor four times before I gave it any weight.

Another hour. Some outlaw from Belen had been captured in Meridea and was being hanged tomorrow afternoon. This one I had heard for the fifth time in two hours and finally believed it. We could attend hangings, but I never did.

The third hour was nearing an end. My dread returned and I could no longer suppress it. I could hear the rain coming down as hard as ever. The thought of the walk back to Sanctuary nearly drove me to tears. Another day with no word from Trang or his people. It was growing more and more evident they would never come. I was enduring Sanctuary for nothing, while the last of my people died. Perhaps Trang had given up on our world entirely.

“May fortune favor you, sister,” someone next to me croaked.

I glanced over, not turning my head, and fought back revulsion. A leper. They were permitted to attend the Temples but when they did, the citizens stayed as far from them as possible. Damn the gods, I thought, less than a foot away from the statue of one. Still, this was part of the code.

“I am not a sister yet,” I replied. “Only an Applicant.”

“One as pretty as you, surely you honor Sanctuary.” The last part of the code. I breathed out in relief, tears in my eyes.

“I am Ruby,” I said.

“Keep calm, Ruby,” the beggar cautioned. “No one is near enough to hear, as long as we speak in low tones. I am not really a leper, but the disguise keeps others away.”

“What took you so fucking long? What news do you have? What are my orders?”

“Calm, calm, please. We don’t have long. Do you have a report for me?”

“I have learned little. I am still an Applicant, not even Favored. I make potions all day, every day. I can tell you about the hierarchical structure of the Order, but what we were told before was accurate.”

“No real magic is being performed in Sanctuary. Is that really true?”

“Somewhat true. The Order nearly forbids Applicants to even think about magic. Initiates do nothing but pray all day, searching for enlightenment. Nothing else. They do not read, they do not communicate in any way. They do nothing but pray, for years. I am not going to do that. Now the Apprentices, they do some magic. They make scrolls, enchant items, all to be sold. Simple spells – I could do them right now, but why would they want to put my Talent to use? That would make too much sense.”

“So it is as we thought. Anything else? Do you see the Bishop at all?”

“No, never. It is impossible for me to watch him. I am worthless here. I need a new assignment immediately.”

“My report will be passed along, through the network. I will report what you said and your request for new assignment. But I am to tell you that your work is important. You are to search for any information you can find on…Moroso.” He whispered the name.

“What? How am I to do that? Nobody in Sanctuary knows anything about him, as far as I can tell. I’ve heard no indication he so much as exists!”

“Keep looking. Those are the orders for now. Do what you can to rise in the ranks. You might learn more then.”

“That is impossible. It is completely arbitrary. They do not even tell you what they expect, what they look for in determining who advances. And if I become an Initiate, my job will be even more difficult! I won’t be able to speak!”

“Just…do the best you can. At any rate, the news from our republic is not good. It is very bad. We lost Glen Falls.”

“I know. I heard.”

“It was razed and burned to the ground. Everyone killed. Citizens. Innocents.”

“I know.”

“We lost the villages in Fedra. Our army was annihilated. We lost Barone.”

“We had Barone?”

“We had it. There was a betrayal. The outlander General Fenton turned traitor, took Barone for himself.”

“Gods.”

“We have left Fedra entirely. The army is rebuilding on the Frontier. Trang is still strong, still in command.”

“There is a soldier named Handice. Eighteenth Battalion, Delta Company, Second Platoon. Do you know of him?”

“How would I? One of thousands.”

“Please find out for me if he lives.”

“I will pass that along. I must go. You will have a new contact next week. Every week it will be different.”

“Who do I look for?”

“I do not know. There are a few of us back in the city, but we do not all know each other. I only know the person I report to. You will meet here again, same place and time. The second code phrase will be ‘too few pray to the gods these days.’”

“Please,” I said. “Please tell them I would be far more useful else—“

I glanced over and realized the man was already gone.