From the Scribblings of Rany

A goatfuck.

That was the outlander’s description of our mission, but I found it apt.

Handice stayed behind, at the party. Kept him out of the way, but maybe not out of danger.

I got myself arrested, which was much more difficult than I had expected. Turns out it is one of those things that is much easier when you’re not trying.

All those years spent avoiding the shackles had made me too damn good.

Took three attempts to get caught lifting coin from the fat pockets of lords. Don’t know how much more obvious I could have been, short of telling them I was picking their pocket just as I was doing so. At last an ugly lord caught me and whined for the guards. They were so damn slow to respond that I had to trip and fall on purpose, and they still barely reached me before I had to get back up and start running again, to keep it from being too obvious. They barely even roughed me up. I nearly choked when they searched me and I saw the amount of coin I had managed to lift. One of my best hauls ever. I damn near scooped it back up and ran away for real. Forced myself to remember it was all part of the plan.

The gaol was as pleasant as ever. Only a few dead flies in the gruel. The law types were getting soft.

But I counted double the usual guards. Almost as if they might be aware of a pending escape attempt. Imagine that.

Found Joc, one of the lifers. He was glad to see me.

Rany! Clapping me on the back.

No time for warm reunions. Told him I needed a shiv and a lockpick.

Already? You just got here!

No time to explain, Joc. I’ll make it worth your while. Where is Sammyl?

Took an eternity to find him. Deep in the tombs and chained to the wall, half starved and despondent.

“Oh no, Rany, they got you too.”

“Easy Sammyl. Came to get you out of here.” I went to work on the locks holding his chains.

“Forget about me, I’m finished. They’re gonna hang me.”

“That’s why I’m here, you imbecile. Come on, let’s go!” The last lock sprung open.

Sammyl could barely walk, much less fight. This Alec had better be good. Gods, I’ve done some fool things in my time, but this…

Through the spiderweb of corridors. A bitch they had been to memorize. Found Carlo, a sergeant of the guards, the key to the plan. His throat was slit, the blood already crusty and dried.

Fuck Carlo, what the fuck happened?

Carlo had no answer.

“There he is! Get him!” A different sergeant. Sounded like it was too late to pay off this one.

“Come on, Sammyl.” Back into the spiderweb, boots of three guards right behind. I pushed Sammyl forward into the tunnels. He found some strength to run. I followed.

Caught a lone guard by surprise. Sammyl helped me take him. I cut his throat with my shiv. Gave his sword to Sammyl. I’m useless with swords.

“We’re dead, Rany! There’s no way out of this one!”

“There’s a way out.”

Dead end. Trap door above, too high to reach.

Guards rushed in. Six of them. We were cornered.

“Drop the sword! Drop the shiv! Come quietly and you may live yet. Life in the dungeon beats a hanging, Rany.”

“Sisko. Wish it wasn’t you here.”

“I don’t want to kill you, Rany. Come on now. Tell Sammyl to toss the sword.”

“Run away, Sisko. This isn’t your fight.”

“I’m a guard now, Rany.”

“Someone’s behind us!” Another guard said.

“Reinforcements? Delon, go check.”

Delon went and Delon died, his scream echoing in the chambers. Then another scream, primal, horrific, ungodly. Not human. Two of the five remaining guards broke and ran. Not Sisko.

“Star formation!” he commanded.

They waited, disciplined.

A crossbow bolt sprouted from one’s throat. He gurgled and fell.

Alec rushed in. Struck at Sisko but Sisko blocked with his shield and fought. Alec delivered one blow after another, too strong and too fast for Sisko. Only shield and armor saved him from immediate death. The other guard attempted to help Sisko.

I took the sword from Sammyl’s hands. Shoved the blade into the back of the man’s neck. I think he died quick.

Sisko was down now on the floor now. His sword was gone. He had his hands up.

“Rany…”

“Mercy, Alec,” I said.

Alec’s sword came down.

“All right,” Alec said. “Let’s get the fuck out of here.”

“Gods Alec, you took his head right –“

“Who the fuck is this? This isn’t a girl!”

“It’s Sammyl. He’s a friend.”

“You rescued the wrong motherfucking prisoner?”

“It was a setup. Couldn’t find the girl.” This wasn't a lie. In truth, I simply had never looked. It had never been about rescuing the girl.

“Goddammit. Come on, let’s fucking find her.”

Left was freedom, right was death. We went right.

More guards came and more guards died. Sammyl looked at Alec in wonder. He went to prison before the outlanders came to Friedor, didn’t know what they could do.

Never had I envisioned going so deep into the dungeon. One place left I thought the girl might be.

We came to a large room with a high ceiling. Two murder holes up high.

“Get down!” I yelled.

Crossbow bolts came down on us, just missing. Three swordsmen advanced. Alec handed me his crossbow, told me I’d better not fucking shoot him by mistake, and went for the swordsmen.

I am not good with crossbows. Took me a minute just to figure out how to shoot it. It was heavy, hard to aim. I pointed it at one of the guards and fired. My bolt struck a different guard in the chest. It was a glancing blow off his chestplate but enough to distract him and keep his sword from going through Alec. One of the other swordsmen went down from a shot intended for Alec. Alec finished him after dispatching the other two.

“Come on!”

Sammyl and I ran after Alec, dodging bolts. Alec had one in his shoulder but ignored it.

We ran into yet another cavernous room. Only one man there, unarmed. He raised his hand as if to say hello. Sparks shot from his hand, across the room, ripping through Alec.

We took cover.

Alec looked bad. Sammyl half dead.

Alec took a bottle from his pocket and drank. Suddenly looked better.

“I don’t know if I can take this asshole. Jesus.”

“Will that shit you’re drinking help Sammyl? He’s a good fighter, he can help!”

“I don’t know. These potions are expensive.”

Lightning fell from the ceiling, striking our cover, shaking the floor.

“Alec, it might be the only way!”

He tossed me a vial. I held it to Sammyl’s white lips, tilted it to get a little in. His hand grasped the vial and he drank.

I watched his eyes and saw the old fire return to them.

Alec went first. I covered with the crossbow. Sparks hit Alec, rocking him. I fired. The bolt might have been true. Just before it had a chance to strike our assailant, it halted in the air and clattered to the floor. But then Sammyl was on the man’s flank. He swung his sword with the fury of a man who wished to live.

The man fell.

“Gods, Rany, he’s a girl!”

The fallen hood showed long red hair and a face once pretty, not so much in death.

Alec sat up, drank a potion, tossed the bottle. It smashed against the wall and broke. He yanked the crossbow bolt out of his shoulder.

“What a goatfuck,” he muttered. That was when he said it.

We found the girl in a roomful of cells. She was alive and quite chatty.

“Who are you? What are you doing? What is the meaning of this?”

“Take it easy!” I said. “We’re here to get you out.”

The lock on the cell challenged every bit of my expertise.

Alec grew impatient. “Come the fuck on Handy! I mean Rany!”

“I’m trying!”

I tried not to let the gurgling of the dying guard distract me. He had not had a chance to shout before Alec and Sammyl’s swords went through him.

Got the cell open.

It took a bit of persuading, but the girl came with us. She finally relented when Alec threatened to put his sword through her just for wasting his time.

We reached the harbor an hour before dawn.

The Stony Larieux was docked and waiting for us. The captain, Janx, was awake. He was ready to set sail. So were we.

But no Handice.

“Goddammit, where is he?” Alec said.

“Where’s who?” Sammyl asked.

“The villager, Sammyl,” I told him. “He was supposed to meet us here after we escaped.”

“Fuck,” Alec muttered. “He’s somewhere way the fuck that way. Not moving. I don’t think he’s even left the mansion yet. And his signal’s getting weak, like he’s dying or something. Goddammit! That fucking Roane double-crossed us. Cocksucker!”

“This ship sails before first light,” said the captain.

“Yeah, Janx,” I said. “We know.”

“Just where are we sailing to?” the girl demanded. “Do not tell me to shut up again.”

“We’re taking you to Meridea,” I said.

“What? I am not going to Meridea-“

“Shut up! You think we’re doing this out of fucking charity? You’re going where we fucking say!”

“Ok, listen up,” Alec said. “I’m going back for Handy. If you have to set sail, set sail. I’ll meet you in River City. I’m getting my fucking money.”