Chapter 3: Realizing Her Heart

[My eyes?]

Novec stared at his blurry reflection in his bathroom wiping the steam over the eyes in the mirror. Glaring with the hateful stare he had been directing at himself when he requested Celestine to be included in his reward.

For the past month he despised himself, disgusted whenever he would catch a glimpse of his body or face. Reminded of the person he is, or thinks he is.

But, as he stood there with his figure bare for the first time in a long while he didn’t feel revolted.

“I find myself enjoying just looking into your eyes. So, take what you will of that to relieve your guilt.” He remembered her words when they arrived.

Using his hand he combed back the wet red hair he had grown out in an attempt to hide his face. With his hair out of the way he stared at the eyes Celestine seemed to be fond of trying to decipher what they meant to her and mulling over the idea of ripping them out to gift to her.

After studying his eyes for a moment a sad chuckle left his mouth.

“How shameless am I? Am I even human? After all she did for me I now take her pity after I condemned to the value of a trophy...”

The reprieve from his self-loathing was short lived as he recalled the memories with the woman who had saved him from despair. The person who saved him from losing his calling’s voice and the person whose calling he took away.

[Why did I do this to her?] He wondered.

Novec was torn. His mind and heart that once been in pure unity were becoming twisted apart. The calling in his heart that told him to do this to Celestine, the same calling that had given him the pride of saving all those he cared for, was fighting against his mind. The mind that was casting doubt towards that voice telling him after Malzak’s defeat he had been fooling himself to use the calling as an excuse to do as he pleased.

***

—Drip.Drip.

Celestine lifted her arm to reach for a bottle causing the milky bath water to slide down her pale arms. Ripples gently swayed the rare florals placed there for oils they released. A sweet flowery scent permeated the bathroom mixing in with the wafts of rising steam as a young woman who had never given herself such blissful leisure finally took it.

Sitting in the tub Celestine clutched her legs, her pink knees poking over the water surface, staring out into nothing in particular. She had never experienced a void of tasks, this something foreign to her.

“I don’t understand why I wanted this.”

“It was just something I felt I had to do.”

“I truly did not want to make you unhappy…” Celestine mumbled Novec’s words.

Pondering what he said she tilted her head back resting it on the towel folded over the tub rim.

“Something you felt you had to do… to not make me unhappy?” She questioned.

For some reason her head began to feel hot remembering those words. Recalling them she slowly felt herself sink, but the water was too warm to cool her flushing cheeks forcing her to jump up onto her feet.

“You can’t say that while showing me eyes like that. It’s unfair!” Venting out a new anxiety filling her stomach she left the bath and finished with a cool shower.

Finishing her shower she entered the connected bedroom inside the towering palace that had been given to her.

“Why do I feel like I’m crumbling?”

Asking herself in front of a vanity Celestine brushed her silvery hair making sure to straighten out the curls that naturally appeared at the ends.

She had never felt this flustered person inside of her. It was a stranger that was strangely welcome. The stranger that had been encased in stone that was starting to crumble slowly revealing themselves.

This destruction was the reason she subconsciously avoided ever meeting with hero Novec closely. Celestine must have been afraid if this part of herself appeared earlier it would have turned her judgment during the war murky.

With a final sigh unable to control a sudden unease Celestine put down her brush and slipped off her silken robes climbing onto the large bed in her nightgown. Laying down she slowed her breath as she tried to control the romanticized fluttering inside her stomach.

Flipping and turning in her bed, tossing and retrieving the blankets, and drinking multiple glasses of water she realized she could not sleep if she did admit the fact to herself.

“I’m, I’m probably in love.” She said it feeling a weight off her chest.

Yet still could not believe she of all people had a crush on someone she has spoken to so sparsely. Remembering the thousands of conversations she’s carried with various potential suitors, some of which she spent months with conversing, none had made her feel in this manner. She figured she would just pick the most docile one in the end that maybe,if she was lucky, enjoyed the same books as her.

She felt ashamed for having such a maiden’s heart when she always thought herself as having full control over her emotions. However, Celestine wasn’t one to deny the truth once it appeared and always reacted to everything accordingly.

If she was in love then she was in love there was no use in denying it.

***