" Now wait just a second!" Christian called out. He opened his eyes, his arms outstretched. it was a brilliant blue around you, with fluffy clouds and a deep red sun warmed his face. Wait. Chrisitan slowly picked himself up off the ground. The piercing sun blinded his eyes that were only used to the safety of the blackout curtains installed in his throne room. Usually, his piles of riches gave him his required Vitamin D for the day. This was not his kingdom.

" You've got to be fucking kidding me," Christian bellowed to the heavens. Again? Really? How many times had they played this stupid game? First the fantasy world. Then the cowpoke country dance. Then the alien federation. Now back to fantasy again? The originality was lacking for starters. Christian dusted himself off. His extravagant purple robe had been replaced with the shit brown robes of a simple adventurer. Ugh. Christian began feeling around his pockets until he came upon what he was looking for. The excel spreadsheet. Or stat sheet or whatever. He took one look at it. Christian leaned back as far as he could and chucked the sheet towards the forest. It mocking floated slowly to the ground due to the petulant resistance of the air. It slowly began dancing towards him until it waltzed its way right back into his pocket. One of these times, it'll work.

Time to find the local watering hole. Christian figured he had about another hour or two before all his money would be reset from last time. This was always his favorite part. the bastards upstairs were a little slow on the draw, it always took them a few hours to get their shit together and hit the old reset button on the cash reserves. Christian looked side from side. His hands-on his hips foot slowly tapping faster and faster.

" Hey, there stranger? What are you doing out here?" Christian smiled as the unfamiliar voice sounded off from his blind spot. His smile stayed plastered on his face.

"Hello, there my kind citizen! Why you wouldn't happen to be going to a small village around here my good sir?"

"Sir?" The man chuckled atop of his horse-drawn carriage. " I'm just passing through these parts to see if I can sell some of the harvest. The weather hasn't been that great lately-"

"Demon king? Christian interjected in the name of time and closely related, his sanity.

The man looked confused." No sir nothing of the sort right now, just bad weather is all."

So there was a vacancy around here, Christian thought, maybe that's why he was here. He did have the experience needed.

" So can I hitch a ride?" Christian asked. " I'm just a little lost, you see I'm new around here."

The man paused." Sure thing young fella, just hop right in. We'll be at Appleton in no time."

Christian clamored onto the cart. " Time is of the essence Old man, I've got a lady waiting for me there." Christian snatched out the excel spreadsheet he had forsaken earlier and checked his available funds. The number stretched off the spreadsheet. Christian withdraw some gold coins. This time his face wasn't looking back at him.

" Here take some Christianos- I mean whatever you call money around here. Sorry, I forgot. I'm new, remember?" Christian put on his best whoopsie shrug.

" For that price, I'll take you anywhere kid." The man eye's lit up.

" Just make sure it has a bar," Christian said as he kicked back in the cramped cart.

" Here's your Bloody Mary, sir!." The bartender spoke with enthusiasm as she gazed as the various empty glasses before Christian. Christian fumbled with his spreadsheet. The large number at the top of the page. " I think I'll take a couple of mules as well." Chrisitan smiled. The bartender looked confused. " Should I put it on a tab, sir?"

Chrisitan waved his hand clumsily," No, no, no I'll just pay for them as they come. I live in the moment ya know."

" Ok then..." the bartender stepped away.

Christian downed his drink and haphazardly began chewing on the celery. He glanced backward. There was a large amount of heavily armored men, women, and traitorous goblins and ghouls that populated the bar.

" Hey barkeep, this place is awfully packed for a weekday at noon isn't it?"

Before she could answer a hulking man took the seat next to Chrisitan. The impact from the man sitting down on his chair caused Christian's ass to momentarily leave his seat. Good thing he didn't notice.

" Who are you?" The large man commanded Christian to answer.

" Who me? I'm nobody. I just got here from a long trip." Christian waved his arms around lazily as he spoke.

" No nobody has that kind of money little man." His eyes narrowed. " This can only be the result of Dark Magic."

The crowd murmured. "You really think a dark wizard would be wearing rags like these. " Christian gestured to his clothes. " Or hang out at the Drunken Orchard all day?"

The large man snapped up from his seat and grabbed the excel spreadsheet that laid haphazardly on the bar.

" Look it says, Occupation: Dark Wizard on the top." Chrisitan leaned over and pointed at his sheet.

The large man looked confused. " There's nothing here. No name. No stats. No money."

Ah, so those bastards upstairs had finally got their act together. Christian smirked. He slowly leaned forward and began tugging at his sheet. " I'll be taking that back, please and thank you. Looks like my luck has run out anyways." Christian scooped up the drinks from the bar. That's why you never start a tab once you've been reincarnated kids. " What are the open container laws around here? I'm hoping for some European style ones." Chrisitan said with his fingers crossed.

"Why don't you take a seat there kiddo." This was a different voice.

Christian's glasses clinked as he shuffled to turn around. The rest of the crowd stepped backward as Christian turned to face an unfamiliar face. This new guy had some strong looking armor and gear thought Christian. It was all a little on the blurry side though. The man pulled out Christian's seat for him.

" I think you and I need to have a chat."

Ah shit. Chrisitan needed to steady his nerves. Christian shifted his arms as he tried to bring one of the glasses he had bundled in his arms to his lips. The glasses cascaded to the ground and shattered in an intoxicatingly beautiful display of drunkenness.

The man looked down at the mess of glass and looked back up at Christian. Christian dejectedly walked towards the seat.

" Alright mister, but you're buying."