I replayed the sentence over and over in my head to calm the nerves I had left. They're not here. They're not here. They're not here.

I cried on.

~~~

The following hours were a mix of emotions. Besides the initial relief of seeing my mom, none of them were good.

The first time I saw my face, a new round of tears were brought on. I gently touched my face in examination as my nurse, Sam, held up a mirror. My nose was a swollen, bulging mess and the sockets below my eyes were bruised.

I'd looked like I'd been in a fight with my arms tied around my back. That wasn't exactly far from the truth.

The same day, a pair of a policeman and a policewoman came to my room to question me. They told me as gently as possible that it was better to get the information while it was fresh. I couldn't deny how much it made sense, but that didn't stop me from being angry with them for bringing up the memories I wanted to keep locked away in a box forever.

Recounting that night, I felt...pathetic. Some 4"8, 17 year old with a death wish stumbles upon two men in an alley and picks a fight. There's no denying how stupid it was not to have moved on as quickly as possible.

I shouldn't have stopped. Shouldn't have gotten involved. Shouldn't have fought back again when they told me to run away.

The wallowing was eating me alive until I recounted it for the police officers. My mom had finally gone home to change and freshen up. She'd just come from a long shift before coming here, so she didn't have time to shower.

I told the story from the beginning. I had just gotten out of a late play rehearsal and was trying to find my way back to the apartment when I heard someone in the alley. There were two men harassing and hitting an old woman.

Then I stopped talking and looked to the police officers anxiously. The old woman. "Where is the woman?" I asked frantically. "What happened to the woman in the alley with me?"

The police officers looked at each other. In...confusion. "Miss Auclair, when police arrived at the scene, they found no one but you."

A sense of dread pooled in my stomach. "No-no woman?" I questioned.

That didn't make any sense. She was knocked out cold. How could she get up hurt and not go to the hospital? Or maybe, how could it be that she had somehow made a miraculous recovery, gotten up, and walked away? Did she go through the club's back door?

Suddenly, I was angry. Did she not see me lying on the ground, writhing in pain?

I grimaced internally. That didn't matter now. "But she...she was hurt! Those men beat her! That's the whole reason I rushed in on those men. To save her. They were going to kill her!" I exclaimed, panicking now. Had they gone back for her? Did they kill her?

The heart monitor beeped faster as my breaths became more shallow. I began hyperventilating.

Am I going crazy? Did they hurt her? Was she even there in the first place?

The police officers came closer, looking unsure of what to do. Running into the hallway, the man called for the nurse while the woman went to the bedside to hold my hand. "Hey, it's alright. You're alright," she calmed. My head felt dizzy. "Carlos, where's the nurse?" She yelled over her shoulder. I couldn't feel my hand in hers anymore over a prickling sensation.

No. No. No. No. I gripped my chest with my hand. Why did it hurt this much?

The nurse and Carlos ran into the room, looking to me. Carlos and the woman officer stepped back while Sam took the IV and put a needle in it, pushing a liquid through the tube. A calm feeling flowed through my body. My pain eased as my breathing slowed. I rested my head against the back pillow, still dizzy.

After a few moments, my head started to clear. My breathing slowed to a more natural pace and the heart monitor went steady again. I closed my eyes, not to sleep, but to rest.

I heard Carlos whisper, "Should we come back later?"

"Probably a good idea," Sam shot. "It's only been a couple of hours."

The female officer responded, "Let's just let her rest an hour or so and come back later."

Shuffling boots toward the door and the echoing silence of the heart monitor indicated that they had left and I was left alone again.

Alone to ponder, where was the old woman?