"Okay, alright, I'm calling it in," Spade said in exasperation, holding up his hand. The beam of light that was headed towards his face dissipated into shiny particles. Spade sighed. Lee was a pretty sneaky bastard, but it wasn't like Spade could bring down the Sky-Piercing Sword Strike in the middle of a city. After about an hour of being completely unable to do any harm to each other, Spade was getting bored.

"Thank you," Lee said, sounding a little relieved that they wouldn't have to continue for another hour or two. "I'm amazed at your abilities, good sir."

Spade rolled his eyes. "Yeah, sure, we'll go find another commission or something, have fun with the Face-Eater. I'm going to go hook up with Helang over there. Shit, I meant talk shop. Talk shop with him."

"Oh yeah, 'cuz hook up and talk shop are pronounced soo similarly huh?" Joyce shouted from where she was comfortably seated next to Helang, having replenished her popcorn at some point.

"Shut the fuck up!" Spade shouted back. He turned back to respectfully shake hands with Lee. The scholar looked to be forcefully holding back his laughter. "You shut up too. Stop laughing," Spade said sternly.

"I wouldn't dare," Lee said. "I'll let you hook up with my friend over there then, though you might need to do it on the go. He's coming with me to deal with the Face Eater."

"Fuck off, you think I won't actually do it?" Spade threatened. Lee's face twisted as he desperately tried not to laugh.

/////////

"The thing about Wushan-style swords is also that it's like a fine piece of jade, see. You know how good jade will gain warmth and color from being in contact with your skin over a long period of time? Wushan-style swords do that, but with your qi. So the longer you have it, the more qi-imbued it becomes, and the more tailored specifically to your aura it gets," Helang gushed. Spade nodded enthusiastically, taking in the concept with great joy.

"Amazing! That's similar to what my tribe does, we're nomadic, so the swords, the magic, and the horses are built to accommodate each other. The sword is designed so that it can absorb magic energy for combat, and magic sigils are woven into our clothes and saddles to make the horses faster and stronger and to recharge magic from the horses' kinetic energy. And the energy the sword releases upon impact will be re-absorbed as kinetic energy by the sigils, which then recharges the horses to make them faster and stronger," Spade said with sparkling eyes as he gestured wildly with his hands. Helang's eyes widened, matching Spade in the level of sparkliness.

"Good spirits! That's amazing, they really built a whole cycle!" Helang exclaimed. Spade nodded gleefully.

"But the thing is, it doesn't become attuned to the user. Since we don't have a specified warrior class, everyone can fight at least a little, so the sword isn't individualized unless you become a really renowned warrior. Our swords are attuned to the collective, so if you get above a certain level then really, a sword attuned to your qi is what you'll really need," Spade said.

"Well, that's true of the Wushan sword, but breaking a sword in takes forever, and until it's broken in it's just a decent sword. If it gets destroyed before it's fully attuned then you just wasted a huge investment," Helang replied thoughtfully. "It's really elitist if you think about it, but then again-"

"Oh my god, can the Face Eater just show up already so they can shut up?" Joyce groaned. "I'd rather they just start making out." Lee shook his head sympathetically. Spade and Helang shot her identical eye-rolls and continued their conversation at a lower volume.

"The Face Eater will appear only when the time's right, there's nothing I can do about it either," Lee said. "You can go first if you'd like."

"I don't want to miss this," Joyce said, immediately shooting down the idea. "I want to see how Mr. Fancy Schmancy Scholar of Subtlety does it with his Grimoire."

Lee let out a short huff of laughter. "Delicate matters call for a delicate touch," Lee said gently.

"So what's the Face Eater a manifestation of then? Infanticide? Murdered virgins? Incels? The chickens we use for fried chicken?" Joyce asked in a deadpan. Lee shot her an unreadable look.

"You figured out the manifestation part pretty quickly," Lee said with a small note of surprise.

"Hey, I'm not stupid, you kept going on about it being something that requires caution and no brute force and stuff, I can tell you don't want us to just blow it up and move on," Joyce said, pointing an accusing finger at him. "Is it a manifestation of some secret government experiment or something?" she added in a conspirational tone.

Lee shook his head. "It's a mix of many things, that's what makes it difficult. More or less though, it's a manifestation of people who have lost their place in society. With the shift in power ever since the new emperor began his reign, this entire region was tossed aside. He crippled the local economy to take down his political opponents, but even after those ministers were gone our industries didn't return to their former state," he said. "Even if I defeat the Face-Eater in one sitting, another manifestation will appear, and that'll hurt the economy more."

Joyce looked at Lee thoughtfully. "Yeah? What you gonna do about it then?"

Lee smiled. "I'll weaken and trap it," he said. "A new manifestation can't appear if the old one's still around, and I'll do what I can in the meantime."

"With the results you obtained from your trip to the capital?" Joyce said teasingly. Lee chuckled and made no response. "How dramatic and desperate are you going to pretend the battle was to maximize sympathy points?"

"A blind scholar and a single swordsman fighting against this thing? We have to pretend to be as pitiful as possible while still emerging victorious," Lee replied. Joyce laughed loudly as the Face Eater rose out of the river on cue, stepping back so Lee and Helang could begin their Oscar-worthy performances. She sidestepped until she was next to Spade. The two watched as Helang dramatically drew his sword and shouted a long line about justice and "vanquishing evil for the people" before getting swatted over by the Face-Eater's tail, which had a human face on it.

"Still want to hook up with him?" Joyce leaned closer and asked Spade. He elbowed her away.

"We're going for drinks after this," Spade grit out. At her cackling, he turned the full force of his glare on her. "To talk shop! About our profession! Professionally!"

Seeing that Joyce wasn't going to stop laughing anytime soon, Spade groaned and turned his attention to Lee pretending to struggle against the Face Eater. The local duo really were good performers. Spade almost wished Joyce still had popcorn left for the show.

//////

Joyce cheerfully applauded while Spade threw a handful of confetti into the air.

"Congratulations, Lee!" Joyce said, throwing a second handful of confetti directly onto Lee's long hair. Lee gingerly brushed off as much of it as he could, but his smile was genuine.

"Thank you," Lee said. Helang was smiling too hard to even make out the words. Joyce felt a warm emotion well up and suddenly sincerely wanted her new friends and their world to always be well. It was a somewhat unfamiliar fuzzy feeling that the mage's cold dead heart usually couldn't conjure up.

"Does this mean we have to call you Chairman Lee now?" Spade asked. "What about Helang? Vice-Chairman?" He smirked as Helang's ears reddened.

Lee chuckled lightly, ignoring the bad flirting going on next to him. "Please continue calling me Lee. After all, the Hengshan Association is still a bare-bones structure, I would not dare lay claim to a title I don't deserve."

"Oooh well someone's got some ambition, huh?" Joyce teased him. "Will the Emperor's pockets be deep enough for you? Huh?"

Lee shook his head with an exasperated smile. "Since I was granted an Imperial Charter after risking my insignificant head, I have no reason not to make the most of it, wouldn't you say?"

"Well alright, Mr. Chairman, go get that dough," Joyce said approvingly. She slapped him on the arm for good measure. Helang and Spade were finishing up their conversation, having started shaking hands in farewell quite a few minutes ago and still talking while shaking hands.

"Will this be the last this world sees of you then?" Lee asked her. Joyce turned to answer with something cheeky but deflated a little at his earnest expression. She'd only known Lee and Helang for a week, but they'd actually been getting along quite well. It was a shame they were done in this dimension already.

"I've got this dimension mapped out," Joyce said regretfully. Lee nodded somberly. "But! That means it's easy for me to pop in whenever I'm nearby! I don't visit the same places twice, but that's usually because I don't have a reason to, if you guys are rolling in cash here I need to come to mooch off you every so often!" she hurriedly added. Lee smiled at that, a soft look that Joyce didn't think suited him much.

"We'll make sure not to disappoint you then," Lee said warmly.

"Oh but, I mean, there's the whole time flow problem," Joyce said. It sucked to ruin the moment but also no point in lying about it.

"The time flow problem?" Lee echoed quizzically.

"Yeah, sometimes the time flow is weird when we move between worlds, so it might be a few weeks for us but a few years for you guys or the opposite could also be true," Joyce explained. "So like, just to keep in mind."

Lee nodded thoughtfully at that. "Well, that may prove to be a challenge," he mused, and after a short pause, "Would you mind if I used the Grimoire to give you a blessing?"

Joyce blinked in surprise. "Oh, yeah, that would be nice, but the blessing won't apply across worlds," she said in confusion. Lee shook his head.

"I know, I made a query on whether I could give you a translation blessing or spell, but the Grimoire refuted that possibility. The blessing I'm thinking of is specific to this world," Lee said. The scholar had learned of their inability to use the translation skill after his initial query with the Grimoire but had politely not commented on that. "I wish to give you a blessing that would allow you to know our location once you re-enter this world, and if you wish to activate it, a secondary blessing that would then tell us your location."

"Oh wow, that is pretty convenient," Joyce admitted. Usually, it was hard to tell exactly where the entry point would be, so it was pretty hit or miss a lot of the time. "Sounds good to me. Spade?"

The swordsman had finally finished up with Helang, and the two were quietly waiting for Lee and Joyce. "Yeah, sure," Spade agreed. Helang gave them a thumbs up, and Lee smiled brightly.

"Then please bear with me for a moment," Lee said. "Activate query: Blessing of the Grimoire." Spinning dots of blue light materialized around them, making circles around their heads as they gathered into a large orb. The four stood still, awash in the soothing glow. The light pulsed for a moment and faded away.

"Nice," Joyce said, checking with her Describer skill. Each of them now had an additional blessing and sub-blessing listed, Blessing of the Grimoire of Wisdom. "Thanks, guys."

Lee and Helang nodded at her. Joyce exchanged a look with Spade and raised two fingers to her temple in a playful salute. "Alright then, we're off!" Joyce said.

"We'll see you guys," Spade added. Helang and Lee waved as Joyce materialized an interdimensional gate. A swirl of colorful energy in a tornado of glittering shapes condensed into a shining white circle, before Spade and Joyce disappeared with a flash.

////////

Joyce patted Spade's back comfortingly as they walked beneath the harsh light of a dying star, carefully stepping around the mushroom-shaped crystals filled with radioactive toxins.

"I'm sorry you had to leave your hot, hunky boyfriend," she said regretfully. Spade sighed.

"Not my boyfriend," he objected. Joyce waved away his protests.

"Anyways, we can visit them again!" she said. "And now, on to the next world! Hopefully, there will be a language we can read."