Chapter 27

Sevina

I’m gone. My side is in pain, as is my chest. As real as every sensation. Pain tingles around my heart, increasing toward my head, jolting every cell on its way. My eyes burn, pulled wide open. Yet nothing but twisting blackness colors my world, the oblivion of endless obscurity.

I part my lips to scream, but no sounds come out. I try to flail my hands around, but I don’t feel them, don’t even have them.

I’m reduced to the primal sensation, the core sensation.

Terror.

I died.

What comes after? I’ll discover soon enough.

Dead do not fear.

Air explodes from my lungs, blackness evaporates and my mind shifts as if someone changed a TV channel. I can’t stop my body from thrashing as countless images blur in front of my eyes— faces, pictures, deeds—I remember it all.

Each detail.

Every minute.

Every second…

“Sevina!” A distant yell. Someone’s holding me steady. “…The kite! Remember the kite?”

The neon of the kite flashes in front of my eyes. The mother and the child. Smiles and laughs.

Love.

A powerful thud drums against my ear. So loud. My heartbeat? No…

Through the millions of moments I reach for the familiar voice. I know it’s him— the only thing I can cling to. I reach for his warmth, for his smell, for his words. My shield. “Corrin.”

But I can’t stop the pictures.

Gray dust spills into the waters… Rovy…

“I didn’t even cry when they died.” The door that was hiding my misery for all this time finally breaks open. “I didn’t cry.” Tears kindle my cheeks. For the times’ people I loved left this world, for the times the foster kids beat me, for all those times I kept my face straight when inside I felt like I was burning alive. If I cried I cried tears of pain, but never tears of torment.

My shoulders twitch as I try to focus on Corrin’s heart. His voice thrives across my mind and turns into a deep hum.

It lulls me into a half-conscious sleep full of flashing images.

Is this how people dream?

My body eases, pictures fade hindered by a husky voice. Still here. Singing. Humming. A tune so strong it’s all I hear… All there is to my existence…

I’m alive.

Faces, moments reappear and in the chaos I see a beacon of light. My forehead warms from gentle touch and weird words echo in my ears, making me feel the safest I’ve ever felt in my life, and so calm and protected… It’s as if the hole that voided my chest was filled to the brim with nourishment… and love…

I don’t understand what’s going on… but I don’t question it as I drift through the elation, listening to Corrin’s heartbeat, soaking in everything he’s giving me.

For some reason I’m taken back to Rovy, standing in front of me in his room, stupefied with happiness and his face lit.

Kudos to me in each way.

I am brave. Survival is raw.

I am strong. Do it or die trying.

I am loved… The kite and the song.

I come around in the morning, engulfed in warmth and held safely by Corrin’s arms. His words of reassurance still caress my ears, engraved so deep I have troubles believing it’s not true, but I still tell him he’s full of shit and ask if everyone’s okay. He says they are.

We snuggle and as I lie there with him the feeling of tranquility lingers. After what has happened I can tell something in me shifted. I can’t figure out what but it’s as if a gear in my brain begun spinning in a different direction. I wonder which gear.

Aida comes and begs Corrin to check on the hideout. I convince him to go.

A knock on the van makes me turn to the other side, perceiving myself in a tumid nest of sheets and garments. Corrin overdid it a little.

With a bundle of keys I unlock the van. Aida gets in. She sits on the bench across to me and hugs her knees, her head buried deep between her shoulders and her red hair, now longer, covering her face. I watch her downcast posture for what must be half an hour until her phone rings. She touches her earpiece. “It’s Corrin.” As she listens her face blanches.

I sit up. “What is it?”

Her green eyes meet mine, pupils contracted and lips parted. I look away. “They’re dead, at least thirty of them…”

What… I struggle to comprehend the statement.

“The hideout was overtaken. The boss said he wouldn’t hurt anyone. He said it.” Her head falls back between her knees, every breath exploding in short bursts.

I shut my eyes, stopping the tears from pouring down my face. Lenore…

How stupid I was, thinking that if people joined us they could be trusted. That knowing my powers would be enough for them to follow. Not to all of them.

Trust is far beyond having somebody near to you or in your group or even seeking the same goal. Will, Corrin, Terrel— I saw their lives and knew they were honest. Aida slipped right past me. I never followed the change of her intentions.

Human error.

“What can I do?” Below dejected, Aida squeezes out. “Please, Sevina, anything, I’ll do it.”

“Did Will and Quint talk to you?”

“Yes, they said for me to stay here and that they’ll think of what to do with me afterward. Corrin said to keep you safe.”

Leaning against the wall, I glide the back door of the van open. The bay doors in the garage are rolled up and I observe a few mechanics arriving to work. Cold wind gushes inside, accompanied by the wailing of ships and boats. I pull tighter into my coat and notice I’m not wearing a shirt. When did I get undressed?

“Do you still want to run?” I cover myself up to my neck. “You take some coins and you leave for good. Get away from the city.”

Aida sniffs. “You’re letting me go?”

With a hefty breath I face her. “What else can I do? Tell me, did you honest want Terrel to die? Or did you think Kaynes boss provided a better opportunity than Corrin and I did?”

“But… I betrayed you.”

“You did.” Should I be strict or forgiving? I can’t look her in the eyes. Not now. But if I do, I sure won’t be mad. “You should be happy I’m letting you go. Corrin and I… we made a mess.”

“I made a me—”

“Yes, you did. But it was my… our fault. Now you’ve got nothing to fight for. Your life will come first, I get it. You want to live. So I’m letting you go.” I slide my eyes across hers once. “Death is not something you’d like to experience. In any way. Go on, do it like you wanted. Live a calm life and make something better out of yourself.”

She dwells on my statement, tears crossing her blank face. “I’m in debt,” she bites out.

“There are no debts as long I don’t see you near my people again.” I raise my chin at her, my words stern. Too stern.

I could ask her to stay. She’s destroyed. Lives were lost at her hands, but she held well supported by Terrel and things she held dear. With that gone she would listen to me. Identical to Corrin my forgiveness would mean her loyalty.

But I want her to live. She wanted to run. The chance that slipped from under my nose is yet hers to take.

“You won’t see me.” Aida wipes her tears away. She gets up and squats in front of me as if to add something else. She falters and then lowers her head like a person giving respect would. It weirds me out and I want to lift her chin up, but can’t force myself to. “Thank you.” She huffs. “Tell Quint bye for me?”

“I will.”

She packs, leaves her phone, holsters her backpack and disappears out the bay doors. I wish her well.