《BR: Collection of Short Stories》Story 10: Bad Jokes saves the day.
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Chapter 1: Alan the Shadow Knight.
The door of the underground club opens as a group of knights’ dresses in white enters the room.
Everyone’s eyes are on them. Then, their eyes became wide as a well-known figure appears before them.
“Kneel before the King,” says the Captain.
Everyone kneels on the floor, except for one person as he drinks his cup of wine.
The Captain walks towards him, pulls out his sword and points it at the man’s throat.
“Kneel!” he says.
The man rolls his eyes to his left, “Hey, Gregory, can you please tell your captain to stand down.”
“How dare you speak like that to your King!” The Captain says.
“Captain, stand down,” King Gregory orders.
“But-.”
King Gregory glares at the captain, face with an intense glare the Captain put his sword down.
“Everyone, you may continue your afternoon, I’m sorry for barging in,” King Gregory apologizes.
The people in the club look at each other before slowly standing up, most of them leave the club and others return to their activities.
“You,” King Gregory looks at the man who sits in front of Alan, “you must be the manager of this place, can you give me a room to discuss with this man?”
“S-sure,” The Manager says.
“Tch, how bothersome,” the man stands up.
“All of you, please stay here, it will only take a while,” King Gregory orders his man.
“Yes, You Majesty!” The knights chant in unison.
The Manager leads the way to the room as King Gregory and the man follows behind him.
The door opens, King Gregory and the man enters the room.
“You can leave us,” King Gregory says.
The manager closes the room and walks away from them.
“Huff… man that was tough,” King Gregory says in a casual manner.
“You surely have it rough while keeping a straight face, it’s funny that you, that small little kid back there be the king of this kingdom,” The man laughs.
“Shut up, Alan,” King Gregory sighs.
“So, why do you want to meet me?” Alan asks.
“It’s my wife.”
“Shit! you get NTR? Well, that is expected,” Alex jokes.
“The fuck? It’s not NTR you dipshit! She’s been kidnap!” King Gregory yells at them.
Alex’s eyebrows grew closer together.
“Kidnap? By whom?”
King Gregory sits on the chair, “you may need to seat this one.”
Alex looks at the chair and sits on it, “This must be very important for you to tell me to sit down.”
King Gregory looks at Alan with an intense glare and says, “whatever I tell you in this room must stay in this room.”
“Alright, now tell me, who kidnap her.”
King huffs, “It’s my brother.”
Alan stands up with a sudden movement, his eyes became wide, and his expression became darker.
“Gary? But didn’t he die by your hands?” Alan asks him.
“He… I let him live,” King Gregory says with a hint of guilt.
Alan made a fist and punches King Gregory in his face, king Gregory stumbles on the ground with his left cheek red, “You…. Do you’ve any idea what you’ve done? You just jeopardize the kingdom with your mistake! What did come to your mind when you had him cornered?”
“Gary… he’s, my brother.”
“Even if he’s your brother, you can’t let a traitor like him lived.”
“Sorry, but… I can’t do that.”
Alan sighs and he sits on his chair before asking a question, “So, you want me to clean up your mess?”
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“Yes, if I go there myself… I…”
“You’re afraid if you repeat the same mistake.”
“Yes.”
“How did you know about this and does anyone else know about him being alive?”
“I have some men follows him, but only one remains. The only one who knows about this are me, you, my wife, the prime minister and that person.”
Alan sighs, “You know this going to be troublesome, right?”
“Yes.”
“And I get that why you don’t want to use your knight to hunt him down because you are afraid if words got out that the Queen is missing and Gary’s the one that abducts her, it will give a huge blow to you as the ruler of this kingdom.”
“Yes.”
Alan let out a long sigh as he moves his head up before looking at King Gregory, “Fine, I’ll deal with him, do you know their hiding place?”
“Yes, it’s outside the goblin territory.”
“Goblins, huh… well… that’s going to be troublesome if they got involved,” Alan stands up, “Can you sent my letter to them, to not get involve.”
“Sure… do you know someone there?”
“Uh huh… hopefully he gets the message.”
“Alright, I’ll have my men station outside and deliver that letter.”
“Nope, you don’t have to do that, it’s already here,” Alan hands out a letter with no initial mark, “All you need is to stamp and give it to them.”
“Okay,” King Gregory takes the letter from Alan’s hand.
“By the way, you should stay here and have some drink before heading out.”
“Sorry, maybe next time,” King Gregory opens the door and leave him.
Alan stands up and opens the cabinets behind him, his hand stretches out and pushes a panel.
A secret closet opens, and he looks inside, a black robe, a mask, a black iron chest plate, a pair of bracers with hidden knife, throwing-knife, a ring with a horse emblem, a box of smoke bombs, two bottles of poisons, a binocular, and a sword with a rose emblem on its tilt.
“It’s been a long time… Shadow Knight.”
Chapter 2: The Sneaky Plan.
A day after the meeting with King Gregory, Alan stands on a branch in the night, he takes out a binocular and looks through its lenses.
“Ten to twenty people outside, two guards on the cave entrance, a mage… having sex with a cow… okay… that’s going to hunt me in my dreams.”
“Hey, Alan!” A voice calls his name.
Alan looks down, a goblin with pointy teeth looks at him.
“Hey, how’s the preparation?” Alan jumps to the ground and lands safely on the ground.
“Everything is here.,” The goblin says.
Behind him, over 30 to 40 goblins have gathered all of them look at Alan.
“So, what’s the plan?” The goblin asks.
“Make a ruckus and don’t let anyone leave here alive except me and the Queen.”
“Got it,” The goblin nods.
“Glad for doing business with you.”
“Likewise,” the goblin says as he returns to his group and tells them the plans.
After that, the goblins rush into the camp with their large number. Alan takes the opportunity and sneak past the people outside and heads to the cave entrance.
There, he tosses a smoke bomb, and it explodes, the two guards cough and Alan snapped their necks before heading inside the cave.
The people inside the cave are fewer than those outside making it easier for him to infiltrate the base.
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But as his right foot. step on the ground, dozens of arrows head towards him, Alan slices them in rapid succession.
“Phew… that’s overkill,” Alan says as he slices the last arrow.
“Damn, Gary, you and your sneaky trap,” he comments.
“Who are you?” A man calls him.
Alan looks at the man before looking at his sides then he points at himself, “Me?”
“Yes, You,” The man says in an angry tone.
“Sorry, I’m lost, do you know where is Queen? She is my fiancée.”
“Are you stupid?”
“No, are you stupid?”
“Are you mocking me?”
“Nope, I’m just answering the question and ask you a question.”
A strain of muscle on the mage’s forehead, “You’re getting into my nerves!”
“No no no no… I’m not, I’m just lost…”
“You… do you know who I am?”
“Eh?” Alan looks at him, “Wait! I knew you… you’re the one that have sex with the cow, right?”
“Grrr….. how do you know~ it doesn’t matter, prepare to die!”
The man cast a ball of lightning on his staff but before he can shoot, Alan is already behind him with his sword in his left hand. Then, the man’s head falls to the ground and his blood spills everywhere.
“Heh…. Amateur,” Alan continues his running and soon he arrives at a colosseum.
“Alan, I’ve been expecting my brother to come, but I didn’t know he sent you,” Gary says.
Alan looks at Gary who is sitting on a chair.
“Hey, long time no see, didn’t you die in your brother’s hand while you were sobbing?”
“Still with your silly jokes,” Gary shakes his head.
“Hey, everyone likes silly jokes, it’s those unculture swine that don’t appreciate such humour,” Alan reasons with him.
“Anyways… prepare to die Alan,” Gary says.
“I hate cliché….” Alan mutters.
Chapter 3: Alan vs Gary.
“You know, it’s better for you to join me.” Gary stands up and jumps at the centre of the colosseum.
“What will I get in return if I join you?” Alan takes out his sword.
“Woman.”
“Pass.”
“Gold.”
“Pass.”
“Titles?”
“Pass.”
“Lands?”
“Pass, Pass and Pass, anything else?”
“The Queen?”
“Me being your Queen? Are you into that stuff?” Alan looks at Gregory with his eyes darkens like he has uncovered an untold truth about his old friend.
“No, you idiot! I mean Gregory’s wife!”
“Oh, that Queen…. Who’s her name again?”
“You’re trying to prolong this aren’t you?”
“Am I? you’re the one that open up the discussion and I’m just answering you.”
“That…. fair point.”
“Well… then…”
“Then?’
“Can you just shut up and let me finish my lines?”
“Oh okay,” Alan shrinks in terror.
“Well, then, it-.”
“Oh! look it’s a bird,” He points to his left.
“You! What? Where?” Gary looks to his right.
“Here,” Alan moves in close to him and tries to slice him.
Gary jumps backwards and dodges the attack.
“Hey! I’m the one that need to attack.”
“Sorry, there was a mosquito in front of you and I don’t want you to get dengue fever.”
“Stop being a joker for once in your lifetime,”
“Really?”
“Yes!”
“O-,” he moves behind him and his lower half cuts in half, “kay.”
His lower half fall to the floor and his blood spills everywhere on the floor.
“Oh shit! I forgot to ask the Queen’s whereabouts…”
“Oh Queen, where are you!” he yells for her name.
“I’m right here you idiot!”
“Where?”
“Here.”
“Where are youuuuu?”
“Fuck! I’m on top of you, you good for nothing Alan! That’s why you will stay single forever and if anyone dares to marry you, I’ll give up my title as Queen!”
Her word of fact cuts deep into Alan’s heart.
“I didn’t see you there, sorry and why didn’t you yell my name in the first place?”
“Because if I did, you’ll try ~ no, you’ll absolutely prolong the conversation until all of us died!”
“Ohhh, okay fair point.”
“Now get me out of here, Alan!”
“Oi Queen bitch, I’m your saviour, can you at least treat me like a proper saviour.”
“Grrrrrr… fine…”
“Dear Alan, my saviour please help this maiden who is trap in this cage… if not I’m going to abolish that underground club you always come to.”
“Oi! You can’t do that… that’s tyranny… I have my rights.”
“If you don’t want me to abolish it then please open this damn door.”
“Wait! If I leave you here, then you won’t get the chance to abolish it right? Then I’ll just have to tell Gregory that I’ve failed to save you and you’re already death.”
“Do you think Gregory believe you?”
“Nope.”
“Then, please get me out!” She tightens her grip on the handlebars.
“Hehe… I can do this all day, My Queen,” Alan giggles as a sign of victory.
“You know… this have been stretched long enough… so please help me get out of this cage.”
“Hehe, I guess it’s my win.” Alan jumps in the air, grabs the handlebars, and slashes the lock before opening the door.
He enters the cage, carries the Queen in his arms, jumps to the ground and lands safely.
“Alright, let’s move.”
Alan carries the Queen and exits the cave.
“Looks like the goblin have finish their job.”
“Oi Alan!” The goblin yells his name.
“Hey, nice work, but I got to go… see you later,” Alan jumps onto a horse.
“Did you know there’s a horse here?” The Queen asks.
Alan shrugs and he waves goodbye to the goblins before moving toward the Kingdom.
Chapter 4: Alan has saved the day with his annoying antics.
Outside the Entrance of the capital.
“Your Majesty, are you sure about this friend of yours?” The Prime Minister asks.
“Yes.”
“Oi! Before you say any bad things about me, here’s the Queen enjoying my thighs.”
The Queen slaps Alan’s face and he plummets to the ground.
“Stupid Irresponsible Perverted Useless Dipshit Single Asshole.”
The Queen makes a barrage of comments that shocks everyone except the King.
“He… is an interesting fellow.”
“He is.”
Alan stands up and says, “I want a compensation with my red face.”
“Alright, Alright, I’ll pay you handsomely,” King Gregory says.
“No, I don’t want that kind of payment.”
King Gregory sighs, “What kind of payment you want?”
“If you have a daughter… will you married me with her?”
Everyone who is listening to him became quiet for a moment before King Gregory breaks the silence.
“Prime Minister, please abolish that club,” King Gregory orders.
“As you wish, Your Majesty.”
“Wait! Wait! It’s a joke.”
“Hubby, can you please arrest him and torture him!”
“That will do my darling.”
“Wait! I just save you, you can’t do this to me.”
“Yes,” King Gregory says.
“We,” The Prime Minister continues.
“Can,” The Queen finishes the line.
“Oh shit!” Alan shrinks in fear.
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