It’s been a week since the run-in with the Yakuza. Yuuri and Katsuki are happily putting posters up around the clubroom as the others are chatting with each other about each one; there’s a merry feeling in the Paranormal clubroom. Katsuki attaches some wall putty to a poster, then puts the next one up: a picture of a band wearing funky ghost outfits that says “FUNKY GHOST POSTER BAND”.

Yuudai chuckles at the poster. “What show is that from, Kats? That’s one of those fake bands from a show, right?”

Saito scoffs in turn and barks at Yuudai, “Hey, you wouldn’t understand the deep underlying message of ‘Hot Song’!” Saito clenches his fist. “And the emotional tapestry of ‘Love ballad’!”

Katsuki stares at Saito. “Uhh… wait, it’s a real band? I just thought it looked funny, and the ghost outfits fit the club’s theme.”

Saito stares back, then puts his headphones back on. “I thought I had finally found a kindred spirit to talk about the band with…” He sighs. “All anybody cares about is ‘Club Banger’.”

“Did I hear someone say Club Banger?” Kirika says as she walks in. “I really like that song even though Daddy doesn’t let me listen to that kind of music.” She’s holding a few sheets of paper with a mild smile. “And speaking of Daddy… I went and looked up information on my parents! After what Akina told us, I got interested in my own family’s past!” Her arms lift the papers up to show the others, which are officially typed and covered in black marks to cover up various sections.

The others gather around Kirika to look at the papers, taking them and looking them over as a group. “Looks like you found some interesting stuff if it had to be redacted, Kirika!” Katsuki says, scanning the pages for any strange information.

“Redacted? You shouldn’t call my family that, Katsuki!” Kirika pouts.

“No, no, see these black bars? People put them over sensitive information to hide the truth from the masses!” Katsuki gives Kirika a sideways glance. “Where’d you get these?”

Kirika beams happily. “I found them in Mommy’s funny water cabinet!” Everyone gives her a weird look, but she continues. “I asked Mommy about it, but she started complaining about men in suits, then said that I was probably old enough to know about this. I wonder who KK-001 is?”

Katsuki looks over the paper and spots a reference to KK-001. It would appear that “KK-001” is a test subject in an experiment to see if Elven beings can integrate with human society by placing a family of Elves into a human city and seeing how the groups interact.

Kirika continues, “I found out that my father’s family summons demons and that every servant I’ve had in my life has been a demon. Isn’t that cool?” The rest of the club looks in shock at the big reveal, but Kirika never loses her smile.

“Y-yeah, it is, Kirika!” Katsuki feigns interest as she looks over the papers. “But… you do know, you’re…”

“Hmm? I’m what?” Kirika asks Katsuki.

“You’re… part of a really cool family!” Katsuki says with a strange smile, deciding to swallow the truth to protect Kirika’s happiness.

The PA system crackles to life. “Students, it’s me again, Socho-nee. I hope you’re all excited about the upcoming Parent Invitation Day! Your mommies and daddies will be coming to see how you’ve been doing in-class, in clubs, and in life, so make sure your rooms are cleaned or else you’ll get grounded!” She lets out a laugh, then continues. “Jokes aside, we want everyone to put their best foot forward and show Miyafuji to be the excellent school it is to the incoming parents, so make sure your dorms and clubrooms are prepared!”

As the PA system crackles off, the Paranormies look around at each other. “Hey, how come we didn’t know about this sooner?” Saito asks.

“You didn’t see the poster?” Katsuki asks, pointing backwards at a blank wall space.

“What poster!?” Yuuri exclaims.

“The one righ-” Katsuki turns around to the wall, seeing that the poster is absent from its post. She looks around the room, before seeing one last poster rolled up. Blushing, she walks over and grabs it, unrolls it to look at it, then turns it to the club. “T-this one.”

“Oh, this is very nice! Now you’ll all get to meet my amazing Daddy!” Kirika aggressively radiates a smile.

Yuuri quickly begins to speak. “Y-yeah, that’ll be really fun! I’m not sure my parents could even hold a candle to how amazing everyone else’s are.” She walks back to the group and sits down. “They’re just chefs after all.”

Kirika turns to Yuuri. “Oh, that sounds awesome! Can they cook us yummy things!? Mommy can only cook the dinners that come in the plastic dishes! One time she tried to use the stove, and we had to live in our other home for a week! It was fun!”

Saito interjects. “Didn’t your dad also collect retro games? If he’s such a fancy chef he must be able to afford lots of games! Could probably even open a library of them!”

Yuuri chuckles, “Ahh, yeah something like that. He’s been collecting them since he was a kid.” She follows up with a sigh, “I’m uhh, not really into them that much but since he’s just handing them over, I can’t say no.” Before Saito can reply, she looks over at Katsuki. “Hey, Katsuki, tell us about your parents. One’s a magician, right?”

Katsuki perks up. “Yeah, mom’s an elementalist. She focuses more on her legal practice nowadays though.”

Cerys raises an eyebrow. “What kind of career change is that?”

“I’m glad you asked! Every since the powers started showing up, there’s been lots of incidents involving those with them. Since there wasn’t really anything on the books, and since I’m one of said people with powers, she wanted to be on the ground floor when these get into the courts.”

Katsuki continues. “My dad is a doctor, which was pretty convenient since I used to get sick a lot as a kid.” Yuuri gives a worried look towards Katsuki. “He used to have me help around with the patients that came in as well. Since we were more rural he was pretty important to everyone since all the other hospitals were too far away.”

Saito nods. “That’s actually pretty noble of them. Nothing at all like you.”

“Bite me.” She rolls her eyes and looks away.

“Not that I know what my parents are like, though.” Saito scratches his head. “I just remember being around other kids a lot until I started… doing errands for the people who ran the home”.

“Oh, t...that’s horrible, Saito! I didn’t know you were an orphan.” Kirika says, moving to his side and patting him on the shoulder.

“It’s fine, I’ve come this far as-is, I can handle it in the future too.”

Akina pipes up “Well, you all already know about my past. I have no need to explain it anymore.” She turns her head away from the others. “This day is bullshit.”

Katsuki says “We barely know anything! And we don’t know about your mo-”

Akina snaps her head back towards her. “You know enough.”

Katsuki looks away from Akina, scanning the room for someone who hadn’t spoken yet, landing on Mayumi. Yuuri follows Katsuki’s lead and locks her eyes onto Mayumi.

“The fuck ya’ll lookin’ at?” Mayumi says brusquely.”That shit’s personal.” She hugs her knees to her chest. “They ain’t showing up, anyway...”

“That’s rough,” Yuudai says awkwardly, “My family’s really nice! Dad’s a businessman, and Mom cuts the crust off my sandwiches for lunch every day!”

“We live in Japan, fucker.” Mayumi growls. “Why does your mom make you sandwiches for lunch?”

“Sandwiches are tasty. And Mom’s a little clumsy, haha.”

“Has your mom ever cracked her head on the counter because she drank herself ‘clumsy’, Gachi?”

Yuudai looks confused. “No?”

Mayumi grits her teeth. “Your dad ever around?”

“Sometimes, but my sister teases him about being gone all the time.”

“I haven’t seen my dad outside a screen in years.”

“Is he famous?”

“He’s an asshole. An asshole who loves his job more than his mistake of a daughter.”

The club stares at her and Yuudai. There’s an awkward silence.

“Happy now?” Mayumi’s voice cracks. “Y’all wanted to know about my parents. Y’all know about my fuckin’ parents.”

Kirika wipes her eyes. “I-I hope you have better parents soon, Mayumi!”

The empty desks in the room shake. There’s the smell of smoke. “Not helping, kid.” Mayumi pulls a cigarette from her breast pocket with shaking hands. It catches fire. “Really not helping.”

Pens and pencils fly through the air. One flies past a too-old party girl in a leopard dress. “Mayuu, you said you stopped smoking.” She totters over to Mayumi in platform heels.

“And you said you stopped using my bleach, Mom.” Mayumi pulls out another cigarette and manages to light it, acting on autopilot. “Shit costs money that you don’t make.” The party girl hugs her, pulling the cigarette from her mouth.

Mayumi sniffs. “Jager and club musk. Holy shit, you’re here…”

Cerys stares at the intruder. “Hey, Saito, did you order a woman?”

Saito shrugs in response. “Not since I needed a partner for Double’s Dance at that tournament a few months back.”

“Oi!” Mayumi snaps. “She’s not a hooker, she’s my mom.” She looks up at her mom. “Right? You didn’t get talked into shit in the past few days?”

“Well this very nice man asked if I wanted to make some movies, but acting makes me nervous,” Mayumi’s mom says.

“Shame. I could use a pretty woman for the show.” A well-dressed man walks in, putting away a smartphone.

“And I could’ve used a father figure,” Mayumi frowns at the well-dressed man. “But old dudes like it when I call them ‘Daddy’.

”Mayumi’s mom gasps. “So does Ryoji!”

The well-dressed man facepalms. “Not the time, dear.”

“See, Ryoji? I’m a chip off the old fuckin’ block,” Mayumi spits on the ground.

Katsuki looks over at the poster on the wall, then back to the Asukas. “Wait, what are they doing here now? Parent's day isn’t for another month!”

“There’s a Parent’s Day?” Mayumi’s mom says. “I was here to pick up Mayuu so we could go clubbing.”

“Isn’t she underage?” The well-dressed man says.

“She’s very mature for her age,” The not as well dressed woman says.

“I’ve got a Masters in being a hot mess,” Mayumi says to the well-dressed man, “So if you’re finally gonna do the dad thing and put me in celebrity rehab, just get it over with.”

“I’m not here to put you in rehab,” Mayumi’s dad, the well-dressed man, says. “I’m here to offer you an opportunity. And make up for lost time. How would you like to have your own cooking show? In Nutmeg John’s old timeslot?”

“Does it have to be with you?”

“I’d like it to be.”

“I don’t. You can’t bribe your way back into my life, Ryoji.”

“At least call me Dad.”

“There’s a lotta shit I want to call you. Dad ain’t on the list.”

“Mayuuu, Ryoji does a lot for the both of us,” Mayumi’s mom coos. “He’s a very busy man.”

“He does a lot, huh? Has he made sure we don’t get scammed out of our rent? Has he held your hair back every time you puked in the tub? Has he shopped, prepped and cooked for us, every day, since he was ten? Fuck, has he cooked for us ever?”

“No?” Mayumi’s mom says meekly.

“Of course he hasn’t!” Mayumi gets in her face. “Because he’s too goddamned busy cooking for everybody else!”

“Which means he’s putting aside everybody else to be here,” Saito says. “Sides, you’re scaring your mom.”

“You’re free to hate me,” Mayumi’s dad bows his head. “But don’t take it out on your mother.”

Mayumi sees her mom cowering and about to cry. She flexes her hands, the desks rattle violently before going still. She stomps up to her dad and slaps him. “Fuck you!”

Mayumi’s dad takes the slap without flinching. In response he instead leans forward and embraces her.

“I missed you so much,” Mayumi says softly into his chest. “You unbelievable asshole...”

Yuuri smiles warmly at the scene. “Awww, I knew you really did care about your parents, Mayumi.”

“Yeah this is touching and everything but why are they here?” Cerys says while sitting on one of the formerly rattling desks.

“To offer me a TV deal… which I‘ll only take if it involves us as a family...” Mayumi wipes her face on her dad’s nice suit, smearing makeup all over it. “Get the spotted dick out your ears, lolibitch.”

“Of course, Mayumi. Wouldn’t have it any other way.” Her dad says, patting her on the back.

“So we’re not going clubbing?” Mayumi’s mom asks.

“There’s a place in Ikebukuro I could take us to,” Mayumi’s dad says.

Mayumi scoffs. “Hard pass.” She smiles, cocky and shakily. “Who the hell would want to go clubbing with their dad, anyway?”

Sighs of relief fill the air as the strange estranged family partially reconciles. Yuuri and Katsuki look at each other with a smile, and Katsuki hands Yuuri the Parent Invitation Day poster to put up.