《Terra Nostra》Mindset
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Camille was watching silently at Simon while she was healing his body, she was currently in her human form, as it would be hard to calm the little girl if she were to appear in her original form.
This would usually annoy her and probably wouldn't care if she were to scare the girl, but she saw the state of mind the little girl had when she was being chased. Whatever happened to her probably was enough, so she didn't want to add more burden to her poor mind.
Her only concern right now was the state of Simon, as it was the first time that his carelessness paid a heavy price on him. If she weren't happened to look over him, he would have probably died at that moment and worse of all, he wouldn't have saved the girl. He was lucky enough to have her but if it weren't the case, he would have died without having a chance to fight back.
This reinforced her thoughts that he would be probably bullied or killed if he were to go to a human town. Knowing how cruel humans and other creatures could be, she was trying to think a way to make him able to gain strength.
With a troubled look she took off her hand from his body as she healed him completely. She didn't wake him up, first of all, because she wanted to talk to the girl. Second, she didn't know what to say to him, because if she were honest to herself, she grew a little fond of him and knowing that he could have died, make it her a little mad. She wanted to give him a lecture, but knowing that he first tried to run for his own safety and that only at last moment thrown himself into that, just because he heard the girl's voice, make her unable to say something harsh to him.
His action was foolish but kind-hearted. So telling him something for just doing the right thing, makes her feel troubled. Then again, it didn't matter as he was at fault.
While she was having a hard time deciding what to do, she felt the little girl waking up with tears on her eyes. During her entire sleep she was crying and sobbing, Camille had to intervene several times in order so that she can continue sleeping. Her body was fatigued and was in need of a rest.
but there was nothing she could do with her mind, no matter how predisposed Camille was, trying to enter someone's mind without much experience, could cause that person to take irreparable harm. Much more, the little girl faced an incredibly stressful time that maybe broke her mind.
Seeing the trembling body of the little girl, Camille approached her, With the utmost care and gentleness, she snuggled her into his arms. The girl hugged her hard, while she threw all her grievances in her cry.
Camille was gently caring for her hair as she tried to just be there for the girl.
For a few hours, they just stayed like that. Camille tried to talk to her a few times to see if she could at least knew the name of the little girl, but seeing that she couldn't stop her cry, she let it go until she was calmer or at least, ready to talk.
She also transfers her a little of her energy, as she thought that in her current state, the little girl would not have the appetite.
Simon wakes up a few hours prior, but the moment that he opened both of his eyes, Camille disappeared before he could saw her, knowing that she may probably try to lecture him.
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"We would talk later." That's all she said to him.
Simon was currently seated with both hands supporting him, his left hand was perfectly fine as his entire body. That didn't surprise him, but what he did take was that he was back in the cave and the stern tone in Camille's voice. The last thing he remembered before fainting was taking a beating while he was trying to protect the little girl.
'Damn, I can't even protect someone, how lame I can be?' He smiled with a contemptuous smile, as he began to think what he did.
He wasn't worried about the little girl, as if he was here, that means that she'd probably too. While he didn't know how long it took to Camille to appear, he hoped that it was on time.
'Do I really have to depend so much of someone else's? It has been a few weeks since I came here but nothing changed, I still being the useless guy who I was back then. Why I can't just do once things right?' He was beginning to frustrating as he recounted all his doings.
The first week he tried a lot of things, not letting failures affect him. As he believed that once his gift work or activated, everything will begin to take the course. So while he was waiting for it, he tried to try a few things he read in his previous life.
But his gift didn't activate through all this time and as every day passed, he began to stagnate on his test. It wasn't that he abandoned every project he has on mind, but it was hard to take them into reality without any help. It was one thing doing a tool with internet help, but another one doing it without any form of help or anything to follow.
He had read a lot of things through his life, but never once learned how to make them from zero. It was like to know how to make a hammer, but without knowing how to smithing, mining, recognize the terrain to extract the iron. It was useless if he didn't know the steps prior to the industrial aspect.
It was the same in the aspect of training, as he didn't have the tools to hunt animals to try intake the right amount of food that his body needed. He couldn't even farm correctly with wooden tools.
That's why he was eager to try approach the dwarves living the mountain, as he could ask them for a few tools that could fasten his projects.
He also tried a lot of time to follow Camille's step in order to awaken the mana, but he didn't even have any idea on how to 'make energy flow' through his body. Hell, he couldn't even found the blank state of mind willingly with so much noise from his thoughts. He didn't know if there was something wrong with him, as in his previous life, none of his psychologists said that he has dementia or any mental illness that wasn't depression and anxiety.
With so much frustration, he finally couldn't take it anymore as his positive state faded away.
Now regaining his previous doomer state, where all truths couldn't escape his mind, he began to see the truth surrounding him.
With a deadpan expression he began to walk through the cave, watching everything surrounding him.
He walked for long minutes until he reached the entrance, where he saw the intrinsical design on them. He let his finger trace through them, while he keeps walking.
Outside was already the evening, one of the few things that he enjoyed here was watching the sunset, seeing the beautiful colors while peace reached him. Closing his eyes he tried to hear his surroundings, feel and hear the forest below, the chirping birds, the wind passing through the leaves on the trees. He sits down near the cliff in the entrance as he finds a little comfort there, being near nature while he tried to find solace in the vastness.
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A sour feeling was reaching his nose, his eyes feeling dry. He takes a long breath, trying to calm himself. He didn't want to fall into a more pessimistic view.
"I just need a little bit more of time, and maybe things will start to take the right pace." He opened both of his eyes, as tired look appeared on his face. His yellow eyes looking for something on the horizon. Something to grab hope and strength, to pass all of this. He didn't want to waste his second chance, living like back then.
"It would be so nice if I had music here..." he took a long sigh as he began to hum a melody.
There he stayed until the sun finally disappeared on the horizon, humming a song while watching at nothing but the sky. Only he knowing his feelings and thoughts.
Finally, after the moon's in the sky was brightening, he walked back into the cave.
"How is she, Camille?" He asked with a raspy sound on his voice.
A calm voice reached his eardrums, as Camille answered him "She's better, I could talk with her one hour ago after she calmed down. She didn't say what happened to her but she at least told me her name and how old is she." She took a pause, then she continued. " I didn't want to invade her mind to find out, but I could guess that she probably belongs to a tribe that surrounded us, there's always fightings and things going on there, so I'm wouldn't be surprised if I was right."
"I'm going to stay with her a few days, I could tell that she's still terrified, so I would take advantage of how calmed she seemed to be around me and help her a little bit" Simon was surprised as he didn't think that a girl who was chased down by scums would be comfortable around a giant dragon.
"Are you sure she would be fine around you? I mean you are a dragon, maybe her parents used to tell her stories about your kind to scare her, I don't know" He couldn't help but ask her.
with a loud "Hmph" Simon felt a shockwave passed through his chest as he stepped back a few meters.
"Don't be rude towards me, dragons are praised in all around the world. Also, I'm not into my dragon form right now, this little girl wouldn't handle my appearance, as I feel she need solace instead of reverencing me"
'So she had another forms' Simon said to himself.
"Also, now that I'm a little free of time, I would have to talk to you." Suddenly something akin to a shadow, appeared in front of Simon, scaring him a little bit.
"Your foolishness almost took your life and an innocent one too, how can you be so careless? Do you think that you are ready to be outside there with no awareness around you? Don't you see how weak and irrelevant you are? tell me, what did cross into your mind to wander outside my area?" The shadow took the form Camille's dragon form as she said to him in a stern tone while using her claw to push him on the floor.
With a mocking smile and a contemptuous look in his eyes, Simon glared at his side while answered her.
"I know how weak I am, you don't need to remind me that." he put aside with his hand Camille's claw.
"I was strolling around in search for something to eat, I don't know in which moment I ended up in that place, as I was immersed in my thoughts. When I heard the girl I couldn't back off, so I ended up launching myself there." He then looked at the shadow while he said. "I don't regret it, as I would prefer doing the right thing instead of running away."
Camille stayed silent for a minute until she said to him.
"How hypocrite" Her voice changed to an icy tone "I saw you running first. Also, you only did it for yourself to not feel bad about it. Don't try to disguise your vanity. If you really want to do something that has worth, you need something to back it up, your egoistical desires would never be enough.
Think, what would have happened if you were to escape successfully of those men's, what would you do later on? Did you really think that you could protect the girl with only yourself? I haven't seen you doing something that could show one bit of responsibility or self-aware, you are like a child who went out to play. So you are telling me that a child is ready to take care of another one? Did you take a moment to think about how irresponsible your actions have been?"
Simon tensed up his body when he heard her, but then he sighed as he said her.
"I don't really know what to say to you, there's a lot going on into my head, things that you don't really know and I don't blame you for that, as for your perspective my actions may be seen as you said. But, I try to do the best I can, yes, my actions have been irresponsible, but you know, I could learn from them and don't make the same mistake later on. I didn't have a plan to do later on with that girl, I was thinking that maybe I could bring her here and talk with you what can I do, as I do not have any idea of what to do in case of a lost child."
Camille didn't let him follow his talk as she cut him.
"So, you are telling me that you weren't thinking about that girl's being? It's okay if you wanted to be selfish with your own life, but you were putting someone else into that, your actions may have brought much more harm to that child's life. I'm not saying that it wasn't right to try to save her, but you need something else to back up your decision. There's a life that would be put into your responsibility after you do that, that child will be needing a lot of attention and care. There's a reason behind her running and crying from her chasers in the middle of nothing, so don't try to be a hero out of nothing, it wouldn't help and probably have done more harm. If you really wish to keep doing your egoistical things in the name of well being, make sure that you are strong enough to keep yourself safe and whoever you want to 'protect'." With those words, Camille disappeared in front of him, not caring about his response.
Simon sighed, as he could accept what she said somehow. Whatever he wanted to do or intended to do needed a careful decision and strength to backed up in this world. He knew that his mindset didn't afford him to take care of someone else, less to take the responsibility to implement his plan to make a 'kingdom' for Camille, as he saw, he was only having wishful thinking while only living his life through his imagination.
It was time to face the reality for him, as he founded himself once again being in a powerless state in front of a greater reality and fate that he couldn't face.
"She was harsh, but she told you the truth"
Suddenly a voice sounded on his right side, as a middle-aged man with stoic features appeared on his side. Surprising him.
The middle-aged man smiled at him and he said in a cheerful voice.
"Hello, Simon"
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