Chapter 9

FuelTicks

“Peelz! Peelz!”

Blink entered the bridge, calling my name. His half opened eyes made him look tired, but sweat beaded on his brow. Must have been hard at work.

“Quiet down Blink! What do you want?”

“I’ve been reading, King Peelz. There’s nothing in the rulebook on what to do after the Cymechs come.”

If the rulebook didn’t know what to do, that meant Blink didn’t know what to do. If Blink didn’t know what to do, then that meant I didn’t know what to do. If the King of Peelz Boys didn’t know what to do, then the Peelz Boys didn’t know what to do!

“This is bad, blink. This is very bad,” I said. Blink gulped. “Go find Stompah. The Cymechs are gone, and we need to get back into action.”

Waiting for Stompah took a long time. I tried not to think too much while I waited. I wanted to leave thinking to the other goblins. Sometimes they had good ideas. Sometimes they had no ideas. Why waste my energy?

“King Peelz!” Stompah said, entering the bridge. “Can we resume the auger parade?”

“Let’s find out,” I said. “Iz-He and Lobbee, where is PeelzHammer?”

Lobbee’s finger was pointed to an empty spot on the radar. For the last however many hours, He’d kept his finger there to remember where PeelzHammer was before it went stealth. Lobbee’s arm shook and his eyes watered. Deserved a promotion, if he asked for one.

“PeelzHammer has not moved,” Stompah said. “GunFleas fighter ships are ready and waiting. FuelTicks are waiting in line for the auger parade.”

“Maintain stealth and have the GunFleas wait on my command. We’re going to bait the Cymechs away from the ship if they return. Begin the auger parade! One at a time. Ultra stealth mode!”

“King Peelz,” Blink said.

“What do you want?” I said.

“Ultra stealth means we might lose some FuelTick ships. Some of the goblins get lost in space when we go into Ultra Stealth.”

I grabbed Blink by his scruff and lifted him to my face.

“We gotta do what we gotta do!” I said. “There’s nothing in the rulebook about dealing with Cymechs, so we gotta be careful.”

“What about the GunFleas?” Stompah said.

“I just told you,” I said. “If the Cymechs return to this ship, we’re going to bait their attention away, using the GunFleas.”

“Where would you like them positioned in the meantime?” Iz-He said.

“Let’s take a look,” I said. I jumped down from my captain’s chair and went over to look at the radar. “Don’t move your finger Lobbee, or I’ll bite it off!”

“Y-y-yes, Mr. King Peelz!” Lobbee said.

The radar was just a giant circle of black. There was Lobbee’s finger on one side, and a blink on the other which showed me the Cymech ship. I went over by the windows and looked out into space.

I need to make sure the Cymechs go far away. What are my options? If they come near, we could attack their ship, and then run away. That’s called a hit-and-shoot, right? No. A run-and-fight?

“Blink!” I said. “Find the rulebook GunFlea tactics please!”

Blink hobbled over and began flipping through the rulebook.

“Defense, offense, diversion-”

“Diversion!” I said.

Blink flipped the rulebook to where the diversion tactics began. He presented the rulebook to me and I looked at the words on the first page.

“Hmm,” I said. “Interesting. Yes. Exactly.”

“What, King Peelz?” Stompah said, wringing his hands in either delight or anxiety.

“I’ll tell you,” I said. “Let’s have Blink read the diversions first, so that everyone can learn a thing or two from King Peelz.”

I didn’t mean for Blink to read every word on the next few pages. It didn’t look like that many words could have been written. Blink was nearly falling asleep reading aloud. He sometimes struggled over words, but he did a good job. Deserved a promotion—if he’d ask for one.

“That’s enough Blink,” I said, and couldn’t help but stretch and yawn. “There’s two diversions we’ll use. The hit-and-run, and the wild gas chase.”

“Goose chase,” Blink corrected.

“The goose chase,” I said

“Wild goose chase,” Blink corrected again.

“Erhhh! I know that, Blink! The wild gas goose chase!” I yelled, banging my fists on a panel. “If the Cymechs return, we’re going to attack their ship. Then the GunFleas are going to stop the attack when the Cymechs return to their ship. Then they’re going to lead the Cymechs away from us while the auger parade finishes. By the time the auger parade is done, and we have all our fuel, we return to PeelzHammer and go that way!” I pointed out the window indicating beyond the planet in front of us.”

“When do we send out a rescue beacon for all the GunFleas that got lost?” Blink said.

“After everything,” I said. “Blink! Remind me that we press the rescue beacon button after everything.”

“Steeb, King Peelz. Steeb is the button presser.”

“Well then Find Steeb and remind him to remind me!”

Blink shoved the rulebook under his armpit and made to exit the bridge. Who knew where Steeb was? All I knew was that I could count on Stompah and Blink to carry out my plans. In the meantime, I needed Lobbee and Iz-He to remain on the lookout.

“Let’s go make sure the auger parade moves as smooth as oiled toes,” I said. “C’mon the lot of you! Peelz Boys to Peelz side!”

As soon as I left the bridge, I was assaulted with the horrific smell of decay. Solodon bodies were heaped in the hallways, and the stench was atrocious.

“Pee-yew! Did you have to leave them in the hallway?” I said.

“The other rooms are filled, King Peelz,” one of the goblin guards said as we passed.

A number of other guards circled me as we crossed the ship. Our main weapons were harpoon guns, and we’d become quite skilled in using those in close combat. The trick was to drag in enemies and pounce on them all at once. Each of my guards had a harpoon gun. Some were rusty. The newer ones went to higher level goblin guards. Felt nice to be escorted. I felt like a King.

When we finally made it to the warehouse, we started to run into a lot more goblins. The floors were covered with dead Solodons and I was frustrated at having to keep my balance. My guards made sure I didn’t fall, even if they had to fall to keep me upright.

As soon as I arrived at the refinery, the goblins were in commotion. At least it looked that way. Having done many fuel stealings before, I saw the order to the chaos.

“Stompah, where are we with the auger parade?” I said.

“The auger is at the hatch above the refinery,” Stompah said. “We’re waiting for a knock.”

A few minutes later we heard a knock and every goblin celebrated by chanting, “Auger parade! Auger parade!”

I heard a lot of banging coming from the hatch. Then it opened and Puulper’s face appeared with a big smile. Puulper was a level thirty-two auger master. He was the second highest ranking goblin in my faction, behind me of course. He lived for the auger. We’d had some back and forths every once in a while until I gave him his own little ship. After that he was as obedient as butter. His auger driver ship was now locked onto the hatch and Puulper threw down the auger hose. Several goblins managed the hose and threw it into one of the refinery tanks. Puulper dissappeared into his ship for a moment. I heard a heavy click, and then his face returned to the hatch.

“Auger’s set, King Peelz!” he said. “Waiting on the first FuelTick ship to arrive.

“Throw down a ladder!” I said.

I climbed Puulper’s rope ladder, through the hatch, into his ship, and sat in his co-pilot's chair. I watched out the window as the first FuelTick ship approached, enshrouded in black. It was so dark I didn’t notice it until it hovered just in front of us. Puulper sat at the controls and held onto two joystick rods. The end of the auger came into view outside, and he expertly guided the auger into the inlet of the FuelTick.

“King Peelz,” Puulper said. “Will you flip that green metal switch!”

It was always satisfying to flip that switch. It clicked into place and Puulper’s ship trembled. The auger blades began rotating and the FuelTick began filling with fuel. The back of the ship began to expand, until several minutes later, it was twenty times as big as the rest of the ship. It looked like a giant oval ball with a small head. What I saw was money. A lot of money in that ship!

“Max fill!” Puulper said. “Flip the switch King Peelz!”

I flipped the switch with delight.

The FuelTick sped away a minute later, and another FuelTick replaced it.

The auger parade was underway.