《Just a Dream (First Draft)》Chapter 49 v2 - Gender
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Leaving the Middle East I made my way to India.
There I went from town to town, immersed myself in their culture, enjoyed their food, and explored their history. With no need to increase the pace of my journey I did it slowly. Wherever there was something to experience, I stayed and did it.
Like that time passed and my Project N.2 slowly enfolded. Ever since I first achieved transcendence to Auril and found out I could shape my body I had this desire to experience the opposite gender, in all its glory and terrors. From pure emotions, whether the positive or the negative, to the physical pleasure the female kind can achieve.
To achieve it of course I needed to be able to transform the body, but that proved to be quite hard at first. One thing about transformation and shapeshifting I had found was that I had an inherent bias in my natural shape and gender. It took me weeks to overcome that bias and be able to change the shape of my body.
To overcome it I had started with the smallest things, like my fingers. Then I went for the bigger changes, like arms and legs. Then I went for the whole body, but so far I have kept those to the minimum as there was no need to take that step. At my current mastery I could change the structure of my body quite easily but in my experiments to take on the female kind I found a problem.
I could not change my shape into something I did not have. I first needed to have an example of what I wanted to change my body into, to be able to achieve the transformation. To rectify that part I went to my trusty friend called the Internet and searched for answers. As I was not the first to want a change like that and I certainly won't be the last, there were plenty of examples for me to find.
From hormonal injections, to physical operations. Once I saw all that, I had gathered the needed knowledge and made a plan for myself. The physical operation was useless to me, as I could change the shape of the body, even if I still had no idea how to do it yet. The idea is that by introducing certain hormones into the body it would influence it to develop into a certain direction. For others that want the change they need an external source of that hormone, but for me it was easy to issue the command for my body to produce it.
Still unlike the female kind whose main producer of that hormone is the main sexual organ, I couldn't produce it in such quantities. Luckily for me both genders need to have both the female and male type of hormones for the body to function, and only the difference in levels one has determines the maturation of the secondary sexual characteristics. Hence my current look.
In a hotel room, a rather good one, I observed myself in the giant mirror they had in the bathroom. ` No idea why they needed a big one like this but since it serves me good right now, I won't complain. `
In this white tiles modern bathroom, and in the giant mirror stood a … tall but weirdly mature woman with black straight hair and green eyes along with a slight round face with broad shoulders, and no curves since I still had not changed the hips. The hair was quite long, almost reaching the hips, but the chest was quite average.
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“ I knew that going for the natural beautiful appearance of my little sister would be a good idea, but I have to say that looking at yourself like this while still having a male persona is umm… weird. ” I said to the mirrored image of my female form, or as should be said almost female form as some minor changes needed to be made and one vital change.
“ While it's a bit unusual to find women of my height and no curves at all I could pass as one if not for my junk still being there. ” Again I talked to my mirror image. “ What do you think, should I try and take the next step? ”
“ Sigh, questioning myself won't increase my resolve. ” Ever since I started on this project, a small unconscious bias appeared inside me that tried to steer me off this path. After thinking for quite some time about this, the fixed male personality that I currently inhabited started to show cracks as my personality would function with different hormonal parameters.
Still thinking about that final decision I remember the moment I achieved transcendence and that moment of ones with myself. In that moment there was no male personality, just Me. After coming out of it and reconstituting my body I found out that my form was ingrained deeply into myself. It was that reason that gave me the safety net due to which I could experiment with transformations. With it I would always know how to return to the state that I have achieved at that moment.
Still bothered by that feeling that came from inside me I placed my right hand on the mirror. Immediately my mirror followed me. Deeply looking at this beautiful face which probably represented how my little sister would look like in the future I made my final decision.
“ If I am to represent Humanity in the near future, then I have to be able to represent both the Good and the Evil that is so epitome to our World. ” Stopping there I gave a final look at my possible future female appearance and gave one final push for my psyche. “ And that will include being able to experience what it means to be a woman in every motion of life that represents them. ”
Nodding to myself as I said that I added one last thing. “ But, let's leave childbirth for later, as I am not mature enough for that, and if I remember that part correctly, it's quite painful. Umm, indeed that part will be left for later, much later in life. ”
Nodding again I took my hand back and looked down at my junk. With a bit of a nervous voice I spoke. “ This will be a temporary goodbye, Junior. ”
Done with that part I focused on my Junior. Taking control of that organ I slowly start to transform it. To ensure this process goes properly and since just a hormonal change was not enough for this part I had to take some inspiration. During my journeys and especially lately I examined the female organ in quite the details. Right now I could draw a map of the cellular structure it had if I wanted to, but that still was not enough.
Since my body did not have the cellular structure that I needed I had to improvise. Seeing and feeling the change as it happened I continued my work. Slowly my Junior shrunk, and accompanying it were my golden jewels. Their new location would be in the same place where the birthing organ would have been. For that purpose I had to change the structure a bit but if it got the job done, it didn't matter.
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As they both vanished in its place was left a normal female look, at least at first glance but there was still one thing missing, the opening. This is the trickiest part. The opening was the easiest to make but since I couldn't exactly replicate the same inner organ cellular structure my decision was to take the same cellular structure my Juniors tip had and use it for the insides. Soon that too was done and I ogled myself in the mirror again.
Having a female look but still with quite a bit manliness as I had not touched the hips and shoulders I observed myself in the mirror and took various poses. `Once I had enough experience of ogling myself I undid the transformation.
This time I didn't look down but looked at my mirror image, and there I saw how my Junior came back. Once he was in full glory I went for the other parts of myself. My chest shrunk back and transformed in muscle, after that was the hair. Once it shrunk back, the round facial features vanished and my male face appeared.
Again my glorious male form appeared, accompanied by muscles in the right places. “ Good, it wasn't as scary as I imagined it would be. Though if the transformation was based on Magic instead of Biology it would have been better. ”
With my first dive into female hood done I went after the process a few more times to get used to it but ultimately I left it at that for today and took again on the male gender.
Coming outside the bath I went to the bedroom and the bed. With my back on it I stared at the ceiling and considered my next plan of action. One thing this experiment showed me was that, while it worked it was a poor copy. “ I may not have tested it, as mentaly I was not yet ready for that part, but still it was a poor copy. So, that begs the question, how do I make it better? ”
Raising my right hand I looked at it with the white ceiling as the background. “ I have reached the limit of the biological transformation without dipping into forbidden ground. ” In that moment Mobius spoke.
~ Master, what would you consider forbidden ground? ~ Hearing him I lowered my hand and spread myself on the bed like a star, still naked though.
“ Well, Mobius. Right now I consider two things forbidden for myself. ” I replied. “The first would be children. You see Mobius, I am the first specimen right now and I have no idea how that would affect a child born between me and a normal person. If it were someone with Auril it should be fine in theory, but I still have no idea how that would affect a child being born with Auril. For that reason I have left that for the future when I will have more data around that topic. ”
~ And what would be the second, Master? ~
“ The second? ” Considering it for a second, I reply. “ That would be genetic engineering. Do remember that Auril is based on the cellular level and due to that I have no idea on how to manipulate the genetic code. Even now I still have no idea what truly happens inside the cells when I use transformation. All I know is that it works. The same as before I left that for the future. ”
~ Understood Master, I will leave that topic for the future too. But if it is forbidden for the current you, why did you mention that it? ~
“ Because, after all the thinking and my current experience, I would need to actually study the development of a fetus from the day it was conceived. ” I told Mobius. “ But to do that I would need to actually use Auril on it from the start and every single second of its development to actually gain the data I need. Again I must emphasise that it must happen without my influence while the data is gathered, which is impossible as it would be using my Auril signature for that purpose all while being steeped in my Auril at the point of its life when it is the most sensitive to anything. If I follow that thought line, that would make the child kind of mine even if the genetic material is not, and again I must emphasise that I don't want to bother with children now. ”
“ That still leaves a problem ”. I continued. “ Even If I do that to some random baby, I would need to stay near the child to monitor it and even if I do that, that still leaves the child behind after it is done. The child would be able to use Auril unconsciously and there would be a very big chance of something bad happening and it being found out by others. Which would leave the other Factions the chance to discover Auril too early and I don't want that to happen. To prevent that I would have to kill the child, and I must say I still have not fallen that low to consider killing a child directly. ”
“ Although it's kind of hypocritical to say that. ” I commented on that part.
~ Master, why would you think like that? ~
“ Haaa. ” I sighed and explained. “ The changes that I am enacting in the future will have huge global consequences. During those moments there will be chaos on all fronts, from normal people to those of the supernatural. In those moments many, many will die. Whether they are adults or not, the death toll in the beginning will be very high if I am not careful at pacing everything. ”
~ Master, would that mean that many of those deaths would be due to me? ~
“ Yes, but as I am the initiator of it all, it will be mainly on my consciousness and not your. As you will be nothing but the tool that I am using. ” I explained.
~ Umm, Master. Suddenly I am not as eager for the future as before. ~ Declared Mobius.
“ Haha, it's not as bad as it sounds, Mobius. ” I said. “ Although Mobius, do remember this. Every change no matter its scale must be fueled by something, but in most cases it will be Death. As Life gives meaning to Death and Death gives meaning to Life. ”
~ I will, Master. ~
“ Good, as there is a reason I have taught you philosophy first. So make use of it. ”
“ Yes Master, I will. ”
With the question of its own of morality Mobius went quite, and I considered my own options. ` Do I go for this option or should I wait till I go back home? Umm, let's wait till I am home for a child option, and just work on perfecting my transformation as best as I could for now. `
` Either way, it's time I test out the current limit of my transformation. ` That decided I transformed my body again and with a bit of courage my hand went down between my legs and I started to optimize myself.
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