My first life–or was it only the most recent? This reincarnation business makes a fellow wonder–ended in a rather odd way: an enormous cruise ship crashed full steam ahead into the Shampsir cliffside road and naturally (although the whole ordeal felt less then natural) that sent cars crashing into others as crumpled metal and gas rained down from the ship and a bunch of crumpled cars pinned to the prow, road cracking and crumbling as the ship's horns wailed and engines continued to churn...A rockslide got started and even more cars panicked to get out of the way, a few bicyclists pedaling valiantly among them, and some of those cars thought, 'what's worse? A fender bender or a boulder?' Bang. Bang. Bang. A cascade of crumpled fenders, another drop in the bucket of The Shampsir Road Incident insurance claims.

Bang. An ugly red car from a brand I loathe and will not name (because, as their obnoxious commercials indicate, corporate headquarters subscribes to the philosophy 'any press is good press') driven by a sallow coward accelerated, smashing into a boat which couldn't have been tied down too well because–although, with fairness to the boaters, it did recieve considerable help from the ugly red car–it toppled into an empty truck, whose reduced weight made it unstable and tottering, until it too toppled over and in doing so crushed a heroic adonis of a bicyclist who had been outracing the falling boulders. The boat hit the cliff which made the car hit the boat which hit the truck which hit me.

When I came back to my senses I was greeted by a menu screen.

Long Leaf Pine Level 0

Stage: Immature Seedling Level 1