Josh was not entirely sure how long he had waited in silence in front of the apartment door on the top floor of the Benedictine. He knew the residents were probably aware that he was waiting outside, but was comforted by their respectful distance that they maintained. If they had come out to draw him into the apartment, he wasn’t sure how he would react. He might have even run away. But eventually he worked up the courage to knock, and, before he knew it, he was sitting on the window seat with his back to an amazing view of the city and campus. And sitting on the desk across the small cozy space from him was Margot.

Rather than linger anxiously, Sara had elected to sit on the opposite site of the apartment in the living room. Sara could still hear what was being said, but she had positioned herself so that she could not see what was happening and so as to make it obvious if she turned around to insert herself in the discussion. And to her credit, she was doing a fantastic job of minding her own business. Her patience made it clear to everyone in the apartment that she cared about what was happening behind her.

Margot hadn’t been sure where to start given the circumstances, and figured that an easier and less involved question would be as good a point as any. “Out of curiosity, what does the mark look like to you?”

“Sort of a four striped spiral that winds around your arm.” Josh was looking closely at the mark on Margot’s exposed forearm. The words didn’t come easy, but seeing it definitely helped him describe what he was seeing. “Does it not look like that to you?”

“What these marks are… is… they aren’t quite physical. Not in the way that the ink in a tattoo is physical. They look different to everyone that can see them, but they all look the same to the same person. And the way they look reflects the unique perceptions of individuals.” Margot paused to hold her arm out so that they could both see it, and she began to trace a pattern that did not match what Josh was seeing. “For instance, what I see is much more complicated. Winding dendrite type lines and blotches in mirrored alignment like a psychiatric test. But, together, they almost look like a chain of bodily organs that make up the innards of some alien creature…”

As Margot described what she saw Josh thought he could see it for a moment. Maybe it was because Margot was tracing what she saw, or maybe it was a trait of the mark. But as soon as she stopped, the spiral pattern returned.

“It’s because what the marks actually look like is antithetical to reality as we normally see it. Your mind can’t decipher the real appearance, so it shows you the best way it can in a way that lets you know its there.” Margot explained slowly. Josh could tell she was being very deliberate with her words. They didn’t seem to match her attitude or previous conversational patterns she had expressed. “And the people that can’t see them, most people can’t see them because they live so far into the understanding of what is normal that their minds are afraid to show them anything.”

“So why couldn’t I see them and now I can?”

“There’s three,” Margot stopped herself, and then continued as if one of the things she was going to explain was too complicated. “Well, two ways that you can really see these marks. The first way is the most common. People who are fated to be ground to dust and have no future in this world, but are not yet slaves to it, can see them from the moment they’re born. These marks are not common though, so a lot of people that can see them never do or never think to ask about them. The second way is through witnessing a mark being passed on.”

Josh whispered, mostly to himself, but was loud enough that Margot could hear him. “And that’s what happened.”

“Your mind has seen something impossible, and in a way that it cannot deny has happened.” Margot let out a deep breath as if she was delivering bad news. “And it means that you are very likely destined to be a slave to the world, rather than a successful conqueror of it.”

It was difficult for Josh to look up at Margot and make eye contact. There was an odd mix of shame and fear bubbling through his mind. Uncertainty as to how he should feel about the information he was being presented with certainly made him want to stare at his own feet. But the mark was all he could look at, and looking away seemed just as painful as the idea of looking Margot in the eyes. And yet, somehow, he managed to, if only for a few seconds.

“You keep talking like they’re more out there than just our world. Do I want to know about that? I mean, if I want to go on and try to get back to my normal life.”

Margot slid off the desk and came over to sit by Josh. It was meant to be a comforting shift, but Josh did not appreciate it. “There isn’t really a way to go back to the world you knew now. You knew too much the moment you tested whether or not you were sane. And you could try, but you would be putting yourself at risk. If you don’t want anything to do with us or want to know anything else about the world you’re part of now, I won’t force anything on you. But staying close to us and letting us take responsibility for what has happened to you, it could prevent some very bad things from happening to you.”

Josh collapsed forward and started to curl up in his seat. “I don’t want to take advantage of your guilt. I can tell you all regret what happened. And while I don’t understand why you do, or what really happened, that’s not my problem. I don’t want to be some character in a fantasy story. I don’t want to live dangerously. I want to be a boring lawyer that handles estates and property and… and taxes. I want to live comfortably and without having to worry about some unseen threat I don’t know anything about.”

“There are so many things that you don’t understand about what you want out of life and what your options are now. If you knew everything, about these marks and where they come from and what they do… I don’t know what you would do with that information, but I think you deserve to know it. To make a more educate choice about what you want to do from here on out.”

“You’ve given me a very hard choice to make.” Josh partially uncurled himself, enough that Margot could see his face. “I could live my life like normal, pretend nothing happened. But I’ll always be able to see the marks on people and I’ll never be able to really escape that. And I could learn more and make a more education decision, but I would be even less likely to have any semblance of a normal life.”

“I think…” Margot had a pained look on her face a combination of struggling to find the right words and wanting to help but being unable to. “I think maybe you’re too tied up in wanting to be normal. Normal is… subjective. You never have to get a mark of your own, and you can still try to be what you think is normal, but at least let us show you what normal could be. And more importantly, let us protect you. At least while we can.”

“I’m doomed no matter what, right? My curiosity got the better of me and I’m paying for it. I might as well learn what I’m doomed to.”

There was a harsh conflict playing out in Josh’s mind. He was still curious. But he had already started to realize how much danger his curiosity had already put him in. Kerry had probably been near calling a doctor to check on his sanity, and he was realizing that saying the wrong thing to the wrong person could lead to a much harsher response. He could be institutionalized. And it was likely, if only because he was not a convincing liar. But the more he learned, the more he would have to lie and the more danger he would be putting himself in. At least as long as he tried to be the person he had always been. But he was starting to realize what Margot meant by letting them protect him.

“When you say protect, you mean isolate. Don’t you.” Josh slid away from Margot to look her in the eye and judge her reaction. “I’ll be safer if I spend more time with you and less time with people who don’t have marks like that. Because I’ll be less likely to incriminate myself or accidentally convince someone I’m insane.”

“Partly.” Margot nodded slowly. “That is a benefit. But there are active threats too. There are some people that are very antagonistic towards those of us who bear marks. And staying close to us mean we can protect you.”

Josh was about to interject that that made no sense. That he wouldn’t get singled out if he didn’t have a mark, and the only threat he would face, by Margot’s logic, was collateral damage from staying close.

“And I’m not talking about fighting or anything like that. Yes, there’s a small threat of violence. But most of the threat is social. They’ll try to make it so we can’t have money, they’ll try to give us criminal records, and they’ll threaten the people all around us if they figure out who we are. And we can prevent that from happening. We can stay ahead of suspicion. We move around a lot, we avoid detection, and we help each other. Without a mark, you won’t be able to protect yourself in the same way on your own. And without a mark, they can still single you out because we’ve all spent time with you. They’ll know there’s a chance you have the potential to get something they can’t and they’ll treat you the same way they treat us.”

“That doesn’t sound enticing.” Josh shook his head.

He was about to reject everything he’d just been told and leave when Margot said something that triggered something within him that he did not understand.

“Earlier you said you were doomed.” She said. “And that’s partly true. But it doesn’t have to be bad. You’re fated, not doomed. There’s something inevitable hanging over your future now, something that wasn’t there before, but it doesn’t have to be bad. Let me show you how it can be good.”