“Tell me,” Haru spoke up before Yuki could, much to Ayumu’s surprise, “How are you feeling, Ayumu? Are you really okay?”

“I am.” Ayumu replied without hesitation, “I guess I’m a bit lethargic, but I’ve been asleep all day today. I didn’t want to be stuck in bed if I didn’t have to.”

Yuki sighed and gave Ayumu a look, “Incredible. And you say that we don’t take our health seriously.” She looked at Masaru, but this time without any of the usual anger or annoyance, “Yeah, I’m sorry for snapping at ya, Masaru. I don’t think any of us could have forced him to stay in bed, maybe besides his mom.”

“I mean, I guess I didn’t try too hard to stop him…” Masaru said, looking a bit surprised at Yuki’s change in attitude, “He needed it, I think. Being holed up in the house wouldn’t have been very good for him after-” Masaru stopped in his tracks when Ayumu hurriedly nudged him with his foot.

Both the girls looked suspicious, Haru more so than Yuki. Haru leaned back and folded her arms under her chest, giving both the boys a quizzical look, “Now I know that you two are hiding something.” She said matter-of-factly.

Yuki frowned, more displeased than angry or annoyed, “Did Ayumu get himself into some trouble again?” She asked, looking Ayumu in the eyes. Ayumu, for his part, couldn’t keep eye contact and promptly looked down into his lap and kept quiet, despite wanting to say “What do you mean by ‘again’?”.

There was very little point in trying to hide it. He wasn’t the best at lying and making excuses in the first place- not to mention Haru, whose ability to puzzle out details from very small hints ordered on unnerving, would not be so easily misled.

He wasn’t going to tell them the truth at this instant, however. It wasn’t a convenient time.

It had dawned on him how little he wanted them to do as Masaru did when they were younger- take his word for it half-heartedly just because they were friends.

He didn’t want them to think that they’re denying reality or pacifying him or humoring his delusions because they care for him.

He didn’t want to force them to choose between himself and what they know and perceive to be reality.

Silence had fallen over the group as he contemplated these things, and he decided that he needed to explain everything in a reasonable way while asking them to be patient. He looked up and opened his mouth, but before he could form a single word, Masaru spoke up,

“Do you two remember us talking about our time in elementary school yesterday?” Masaru asked, and Ayumu looked at him with wide eyes, wondering whether he should stop him or not.

“Yeah, we do. You two bring it up occasionally- though I don’t remember even one occasion where it was intentional. I guess I got the hint early on that neither of you really want to talk about it. Ayumu especially.” Yuki said, her frown deepening, and Haru nodded in affirmation.

“It’s obviously some issue from that time, or related to it at the very least.” Haru said, leaning forward and putting her arms on the white table between them.

They stopped the conversation when one of the waiters brought the two parfaits they had ordered. The waiter gave a side-eyed glance towards the two girls, who smiled uncomfortably. How long had the girls been there…?

“Yeah.” Masaru said once the waiter was out of earshot, giving a sidelong glance at Ayumu who gave him a vaguely alarmed and questioning look in lieu of saying anything. Ayumu prepared himself to either clap his hand onto Masaru’s mouth or stamp on his foot if he decided to tell them everything on his behalf- though he hoped that the little scuffle wouldn't end up smashing the parfaits now sitting in front of them.

“Me and Ayumu both didn’t have the best time back then.” Masaru started, looking towards the girls again, “It’s… hard to talk about, I guess.”

“I mean, It’s all in the past.” Yuki said instantly, “Wasn’t it the two of you who told me that the past doesn’t matter?”

“I mean, that was more Ayumu than me.” Masaru said, a very uncharacteristic cold edge in his voice, and Yuki looked away, a complex mix of emotions on her face.

“It’s true though- the past can stay in the past. It has nothing to do with-” Ayumu began, his words aimed at Yuki, but he was cut off by Masaru.

“Ayumu, some things don’t just stay in the past. You of all people should understand that after… everything.” Masaru sighed, not looking at him. “But, I’m not talking about either Yuki or Haru. I do think that whatever happened in the past should stay there. I like the friendship we have right now. And yes, that goes for you too, Yuki. I don’t hold what happened against you. Not anymore.”

It was a testament to how unusual it was for the jolly Masaru to be speaking so seriously that none of the other people at the table seemed unable to speak over him. Yuki looked vaguely reassured, if a bit uncomfortable, while Haru simply looked between the two boys, perhaps paying attention for some clues to deduce or intuit the situation.

“I think it’s time to tell you two my part of the story.” Masaru continued, and Ayumu’s eyes widened, “About my nightmare years.”

“Where is this coming from?” Ayumu asked instantly before he could continue, alarm obvious in his voice, “Didn’t you say that the past should stay in the past just now?”

“But that’s the thing,” Masaru said, without looking at him, “It’s not something I’ve left behind in the past. It’s still with me, even though you can say its shape is now different. That’s why I think I should be the one to let them know.” Ayumu suddenly realized that Masaru had decided to do this to make his own ‘confession’ seem less daunting, and guilt hit him like a freight train at the realization.

“I have a type of dyslexia.” Masaru said plainly before Ayumu could stop him, “I couldn’t read properly or recognize a lot of the letters everyone had an easy time learning. All of the other kids made fun of me and the teachers berated me in front of the whole class.”

Ayumu could hear the edge of sadness in his voice as he said the last two sentences, and he himself felt a weight in his chest when those old memories came flooding back to him. The image of Masaru standing wordlessly, holding back tears while the teachers mercilessly derided him for not being able to read a passage from the textbook or make out what was written on the blackboard, or misreading them, while their old classmates snickered or gave him looks of disdain…

Even before he became friends with Masaru, it didn’t sit right with him. But after he had gotten to know him, watching that scene play out became particularly painful.

Ayumu extended a hand and gently patted Masaru’s shoulder, and he gave a small nod in response as he continued, “I was also kind of a hothead back then,” Ayumu was sure that under a different situation, that sentence would have elicited a mock-incredulous “Was?” from Yuki, but now she simply looked crestfallen as she looked down in and listened intently, “So I also got into a lot of fights with the boys who made fun of me and tried to bully me. I think you can imagine how, um, counterproductive that reaction was.” Masaru laughed, but it sounded very bitter rather than lighthearted.

“Well, that’s how I got the name ‘Saru’ (Monkey).” He said without pausing, “Couldn’t read and was chaotic, disruptive, always picking fights… I think the teachers called me that behind our backs too- I remember at least two teachers slipping and calling me that.”

He leaned back and sighed, looking up at the ceiling while crossing his arms under his chest, “I hated it. I hated that name so much. They managed to make me hate my first name within a few weeks. I remember fantasizing about changing my first name when I was old enough. I still would if it wasn’t for Ayumu.”

“I-I didn’t do anything at all.” Ayumu told him hurriedly, trying to stop Masaru giving their other two friends a false impression of what happened, “It was silly kids stuff-”

“Dude,” Masaru said, looking at him for the first time in a while with an incredulous grin, “You literally changed your big project to be about how cool monkeys are and later had your first shouting match with another guy from the class, literally screaming “Monkeys are Awesome! Toyotomi Hideyoshi was awesome and he was nicknamed ‘Little Monkey’!”

Ayumu felt his ears grow warmer as he hid his face in his palms at the sound of the girls snickering, “I can definitely see Ayumu doing that.” Haru laughed.

“Yep. Using a class assignment or project to make a point is a very ‘Ayumu’ thing to do.” Yuki said, and Ayumu could hear the effort to contain her laughter in her voice.

“Anyway,” Masaru continued when Ayumu recovered and gave a very reproachful look towards Masaru, “It took a good while before everything started to get better, and I learned to better control my temper by the time we had to move on to middle school. I still have some issues with schoolwork occasionally, but I’ve had my parents and sister to help me.”

“Lemme guess,” Haru said frankly, “It started getting better because someone here can’t leave his friends alone?”

“I didn’t do anything.” Ayumu insisted heatedly. He appreciated that Masaru was trying to make him feel good about himself, but for the life of him he couldn’t understand why he was exaggerating his role so much. It was ultimately his sister who convinced his parents to consult a doctor. “Seriously Masaru, I know that you want me to feel better about myself, but you don’t need to exaggerate so much.”

Ayumu couldn’t help but feel stung when all three of them rolled their eyes in almost perfect unison. Why was he being ganged up on out of the blue?!

“Yeah, I guess you did nothing. Besides-” Masaru started sarcastically counting on his fingers, “Insisting on studying together so you could help me get better grades, starting to read to me when you realized that I couldn’t recognize some letters or connect the sounds with them, physically trying to stop me getting into fights even though I was bigger and stronger back then too-”

“Most of those just… happened.” Ayumu said vehemently, “Masaru, you were literally the only person who talked to me!” He said finally, trying to keep his voice down so that the whole diner didn’t hear, “I didn’t want to be alone and bullied. I literally used you as a shield-”

“You were caught in the middle of loads of fights you had nothing to do with just because of me, I don’t buy for a second-”

“I was! In fact, if there was even one more person who bothered talking to me, I don’t think I would have been as afraid of you being expelled or held back-”

“Shut up! Both of you!” Yuki spoke up over the hubbub, having kicked both of them hard enough to make them yelp in pain and go silent. “Have your lovers’ quarrel somewhere more private, people will start staring and we might get kicked out.” she hissed.

“Seriously,” Masaru shook his head in mock-disappointment, “You’re still trying to do this, even when we’re having a serious conversation. For shame, Yuki.”

“Hmph, I’m just saying it like I see it.” Yuki replied, looking rather perturbed by the challenging look given by Masaru. Maybe she’s still recovering from yesterday’s spat with him, hence she didn’t say anything more outrageous.

“Maybe you’re seeing what you want to see.” Masaru said, shrugging, “I won’t lie, you’re not the first one to make the observation that we’re closer than we’re ‘supposed to be’.”

“Hah, so I’m right then?” Yuki asked gloatingly, to which Masaru gave a smile dripping sarcasm.

“No. Actually, Fujiwara-san, it means that your observation is trite and your insinuations are tired.” He said, and Ayumu wondered whether he had this line in his back pocket just to throw at Yuki, considering how well-rehearsed his enunciations and inflections sounded.

“Cliches are cliches for a reason, Hirokawa-kun.” Yuki said, adopting the same sarcastic saccharinely polite tone Masaru was using and giving an artificially wide smile.

“Cliches exist because people are sheep and can’t think for themselves.” Masaru shot back, his phrasing a lot coarser but his tone still impeccably pristine.

“Careful, you’ll cut yourself on that edge, Mr. Enlightened.” Yuki rolled her eyes at him.

“I’m just saying it like I see it-”

“Hey, Yuki,” Ayumu spoke up, looking rather pensive, “I’ve wanted to ask you for a while now, but…” He went silent for a few moments, twiddling his thumbs. Ayumu didn’t know how he was going to phrase it as to not step on certain landmines, and he mentally kicked himself for being impulsive.

Still, as the seconds passed and the expectant gazes seemingly bore into him, he started to ask slowly and choosing his words well, “Does it bother you? I mean- I know we’re pretty close and people occasionally think that something else is going on because of that… but you know that we’re just friends. We’re a bit different because we had zero other friends for a long time-” Ayumu could feel him falling back into his habit of speaking in circles as he tried to make a point while speaking in vaguely disjointed sentences, but Yuki reached across the table to rest her palm on the top of his head,

“Stop.” She said, looking somewhat serious. “I get what you’re trying to say- I want to say that I only say those things to tease you, not make fun of you two. I don’t care either way because it’s none of my business.”

“I know,” Ayumu said, feeling quite embarrassed by the situation, trying to shake off her hand from his head, “I guess- I guess it’s hard to separate harmless teasing and the occasional insinuation hidden behind ‘jokes’.” He added frustratedly, remembering a few of the said ‘jokes’ by some of Masaru’s former teammates in middle school he overheard.

There was a brief silence where Masaru looked somewhat pensive and… guilty? While Yuki’s face fell and she looked rather apologetic.

“...I’m sorry. I’ll stop teasing you two like that.” Yuki said in a small voice as she retracted her hand, though she still tried to look defiant towards Masaru with her body language.

“I hope you feel a lot lighter now, Masaru.” Haru said in an airy tone, and Ayumu understood that she was trying to change the focus of the conversation, “Got a lot of stuff out of your system today.”

“I would’ve felt better if someone here wasn’t always deflecting every good word coming their way.” Masaru said huffily, and Ayumu rolled his eyes at him.

“Well, I’m glad that you decided to tell us.” Haru said gently, “I think it really puts a lot of stuff in perspective- for me, at least.”

“I guess I’m glad too…” Yuki said softly, looking slightly sad, “And… I’m sorry for what I said yesterday. I guess it’s not just about studying hard enough.”

“Eh, there are a lot of things I think you owe me an apology for, dear Fujiwara Yukino-san,” Masaru started in a mock-sage tone, “But what you said yesterday was one of the last things on my mind. I literally couldn’t care less, but I accept your apology anyway.”

“Gee, thanks. Very high-minded of you.” Yuki replied drily, and Ayumu noticed Masaru reacting to something as he grinned challengingly towards Yuki. Ayumu stopped himself from jumping when something furry brushed against his feet and then disappeared suddenly, and Ayumu realized that Tomos had rejoined them.

“You know,” Haru piped up, looking at Ayumu with an affectionate smile, “Hearing about your past really makes me glad that I was able to be one of the people to monopolize this stupid ‘Giver’ before it was too late.”

“Yep, I agree.” Yuki said happily as she winked at a blushing Ayumu, “I’m sorry you have to share him now, Masaru, but he’s not just yours anymore.”

“Eh, he’s a huge headache.” Masaru said cheekily, “I’m glad that he has two more people to mind him. Though I’m still his favorite child.”

Ayumu’s desire to crawl under a rock had reached a peak and his face felt like it was red enough to put a tomato to shame, “Stroke my ego some more, why don’t you.” Ayumu grumbled sourly.

“I mean, you saved two out of three of the people here from expulsion, from the sounds of it.” Haru noted, now full on grinning, “Plus, I don’t think people being pleased to have someone who’d be their literal meat shield and endlessly fret over them and make them bentos like a mother just because he considers them a ‘good friend’ is not something to be that proud of. If I were you, I’d be worried that I was being exploited, actually.”

“Hmph, I’ll be sure to stop doing all of that as soon as I can.” Ayumu huffed, “I’m definitely being exploited here.”

Ayumu began to eat his parfait as well while exchanging playful quips with his friends. He was rather glad that the girls had seemingly forgotten about their lecture and the talk of his own past problems for now, so he could enjoy their company and keep the complicated matters out of his head.

However, it became a lot harder to do that as he began to notice the occasional “oddity” passing the window. “Oddities” that were not all frightening, but still ones he did not wish to notice. He needed to take a deep breath to stop his whole body from trembling when he accidentally met the eyes of a ‘man’ with overly long, spindly limbs and torso and tar-like skin briefly.

Thankfully, perhaps because of Tomos, neither the spindly-limbed Other nor anything else attempted to approach him. He was also thankful that Masaru kept most of the attention directed at him in those situations. He doubted he had evaded Haru’s notice, but she wasn’t the type to conspicuously point out things like that… unless she thought it was necessary, that is.

“So we were planning on visiting you after we were done here.” Haru said after her long-winded explanation of her and Shimoyama’s little extracurricular project. Well, it was mostly Shimoyama’s, but one would think otherwise given Haru’s enthusiasm for it. Something about a disappearance which has been considered a cold case for almost two decades and how some of the details don’t quite match up. Ayumu had a hard time deciding whether the two girls were incredibly brave or incredibly reckless, but he wasn’t in a position to judge.

“Yep, though I wanted to go earlier in the day.” Yuki said, shooting an annoyed look at Haru who looked totally unfazed.

“I thought the visit would have been more productive if Ayumu was actually awake.” Haru replied casually, “I understand that you and Masaru might disagree, but staring at Ayumu in his sleep isn’t my idea of a good time.”

Yuki spluttered some non-words in reply, going as red as Ayumu and Masaru snorted, “I resent the assumption that I’m the same Yuki. Personally, I was so worried I’d need to call an ambulance at a moment’s notice that I couldn’t think of much else for much of the morning.”

“Was it really that bad?” Ayumu asked him, still red in the face.

“You were out like a light.” Masaru began, looking like he was recalling something unpleasant, “I’ll spare you the details, though. Not worth talking about.” He said rather evasively.

Ayumu wanted to press him further, but maybe they were partially related to things they couldn’t openly talk about in front of their other two friends. But… maybe he underestimated the dilemma his friend had been through on his account. The knot of guilt in the pit of his stomach got tighter as he thought of the kind of anxiety that Masaru had to endure while he was unconscious.

“Give us a few details, at least.” Haru said, frowning, “How high was the fever? Did his mother consider taking him to the hospital? I doubt you would have rushed to visit him otherwise.”

...Oh, Ayumu had forgotten that neither of the two knew the finer details. Perhaps it was for the best. He certainly wasn’t too eager to face some of the questions that might arise.

“The kind of details that Yuki might fish for?” Masaru asked, snapping back to his lighthearted tone, “Sure, I don’t mind: Ayumu collapsed in half-sleep so I had to princess-carry him to his bed.”

“Wh- I- Masaru!” Ayumu spluttered, becoming a deeper crimson. He slid down under the table amid his friends’ snickering and hid his head under his arms, too embarrassed to even form coherent sentences.

“I mean, I couldn’t just leave you on the floor, you know. At least you were pretty easy to carry.” Masaru said in between his laughter.

“I hate all of you.” Ayumu grumbled, still wishing he could just dissolve into the floor, “I don’t know why I hang out with any of you. You’re all the worst.”

“We love you too.” Haru said cheekily. “If you’re really that embarrassed, maybe we can have Yuki carry you like that the next time to balance it out- I’m sure that’s how it works.”

“I guess I wouldn’t mind.” Yuki said, though Ayumu couldn’t tell whether she was joking or not.

“I swear, once I’m taller I’ll…” Ayumu grumbled under his breath.

“Alright, I think we should start clearing out of here.” Haru whispered, “The waiter is giving us annoyed looks now that you two are finished eating.”

Ayumu climbed back up into his seat, still looking disgruntled, and he began to make sure all of the groceries were accounted for. Though before he could take them in his hands Yuki grabbed them and passed some of them to Masaru.

“Stop. You’re not going to carry all of this.” Yuki said and began walking off before Ayumu could protest. Frustrated, Ayumu jogged after her, ignoring Haru’s exasperated sigh and Masaru’s shrug.

“I told you, I’m fine now.” He said, as soon as he was in earshot, “You can see that I’m feeling okay.”

“I don’t know what you’re talking about.” Yuki said stubbornly as she stepped out of the diner, “That has nothing to do with it, I’m carrying these because I want to.”

“Let me carry one of the bags, at least.” Ayumu said, looking back to see whether the other two have caught up or not. “Yuki, I don’t want to be treated like some kid.”

“You’re not being treated like one, but you sure are acting the part.” Yuki said condescendingly, “Just let me do this.”

Ayumu gave her a disgruntled look, “I was planning on going back home on Masaru’s bike. He needs to get home too, you know, and walking will take too long.”

“He can go home by himself, then. You said it yourself that you’re okay, so it doesn’t matter if we walk to your home, right?” She huffed, and Ayumu had to sigh.

“Fine, then. Not like you were the one getting on Masaru’s case because you thought I’d collapse.” Ayumu said in an accusatory tone, hoping she would relent.

“I’ll just have to carry you the rest of the way if you do.” Yuki replied, though her words were somewhat more subdued.

“No! I’d die of embarrassment.” Ayumu exclaimed, feeling his ears go red for what felt like the tenth time that day just as Haru and Masaru caught up to them.

“Oi, Masaru, give me the rest of the bags. I’ll go with Ayumu and you can drop Haru off on your way home.” Yuki told him after nodding towards him in acknowledgement.

“Yuki…” Haru started exasperatedly, “Don’t be stubborn. Ayumu is still probably recovering. Let Masaru drop him off with the groceries.”

Yuki stopped and looked down frustratedly, but took a deep breath and said, “Alright, fine fine. Go take him home.”

Haru walked forward and gave a pat on her back with an encouraging smile.

“Why do you only listen to her?” Ayumu grumbled as she returned the bags, “It didn’t even take that much to convince you when it came from Haru.”

“Because I’m the only one of us who’s halfway reasonable.” Haru said, smiling cheekily, “The rest of you really need to stop being dumb.”

“Yes, yes, you are the only rational adult among us children.” Ayumu rolled his eyes.

“I mean, if you’re the mother of the group then someone has to be the father.” Masaru joked, “I can’t see anyone else being better suited for that role.”

“You might accept being called a child, but I sure don’t.” Yuki said grumpily.

“Trying too hard to be seen as ‘grown up’ is classic child behavior.” Masaru shot back, perhaps missing the irony of the words coming from him.

Yuki hmphed as Ayumu and Masaru got on the bike, but didn’t reply to him. Instead, she looked at Ayumu and said, “Update us -all of us- about how you’re feeling tomorrow morning, okay? Me and Haru will come visit you if you’re still feeling a bit under the weather tomorrow. And try to get some rest, for the love of God.”

“I will, don’t worry.” Ayumu reassured her. “Let’s go.” He told Masaru and they were off. Haru and Yuki both waved to them briefly before going their own separate ways.