Phillip Jenson, or Phil to his friends, had never been one for drinking. Certainly, he had nothing against people who partook, but through his days at college he had found that the pain-in-the-ass hangover and the realization of the terrible, drunken decisions simply wasn’t worth it.

Which is, when he woke up on a bed he didn’t recognize, why he found himself so confused.

“Fukin’ hell.” He muttered. “Head’s killing me, don’t recognize the room…” Phil shook his head. He fumbled for his phone, praying it was in his pocket like usual, but as his brain registered how… off he felt and his hands found nothing but fabric and weirdly comfortable pajamas, Phil couldn’t shake the mix of familiarity and strangeness.

“Ah hell. I was… yeah, I was at locals, messing around with the boys. Third round and all that jazz. We were joking how Colossus would never come off the list, making monkey noises as last duel ended and then… and then I went outside to tell my buddy taking a smoke break that the pairings for the next round were getting posted.”

Phil furrowed his brow. It seemed all so normal. Just an ordinary Saturday, no reason to drink or wake up in someone else’s room. Then, like a bolt of lightning, it hit him. The beeping. The white lights. A flash of pain from the bumper of that dumbass semi, and then nothing. He grasped his chest and then frantically patted down his body.

No missing limbs and this for sure ain’t a hospital bed. Just a normal bed, desk, chair, cards, clos- wait. Cards?

“Shit!” Phil exclaimed. “No fucking way. Truck-kun, I swear to all that’s holy…” He left the words hanging in the air as he rushed towards the mirror on the nearby dresser. A passing glance told him all he needed to know. Brown hair, shorter body than his own, green eyes instead of his usual blue, and worst of all, fucking Kaiba Corp pajamas, for crying out loud.

“Welp Trunk-kun, looks like I’ve done been isekai’d, and it’s in Yu-Gi-Oh for some insane reason.” Said Phil in shock. He didn’t know whether to laugh or cry as his thoughts alternated between the fact that he was stuck in a universe dominated by a game he had played both casually and competitively for almost as long as he could remember and the sad fact that he was fucking 15 again. For crying out loud, he couldn’t even drink now even if he wanted to.

And damn, Phil had never felt so thirsty in his life.

-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-

After a few minutes Phil had managed to calm himself down. Okay, Phil ol’ buddy ol’ pal, lets get down to brass tacks. He wandered over to the stacks of cards leaning precariously on a simple desk next to a notebook and a well-worn card catalogue. Let’s see. First things first, where exactly am I? Worst case scenario, I got isekai’d into 5Ds or the original anime. Best case, probably Zexal or GX. Well, I say best case as in a very loose definition. Death or losing my soul would still be a fair chance no matter where I ended up being dropped. Phil flipped through a few pages of the catalogue and his face relaxed by just a fraction upon seeing the sets listed.

Phil hummed to himself in thought. One question solved. Right. GX it is. I suppose if this isekai shit follows the usual tropes, then duelist academy will start soon with yours truly enrolled. Well, I’ll tackle that later. Next question, is this the anime timeline or the manga one? Either way it’s gonna be a bit of an issue, because, in all my infinite wisdom of ‘never expecting to be fucking isekai’d’, I… haven’t really watched most of the GX anime. Or… read more than a volume or two of the manga. Curse my uncurable sickness of being lazy towards random things that don’t really matter. His wandering hands continued to flip through the card catalogue, stopping only to chuckle slightly at the all-too-nicely provided banlist.

Well well well. Some sort of unholy mashup between the GOAT format list and whatever mess Zane’s cyber dragons made to the game. All of a sudden, Phil’s hands paused upon reaching a well-read letter sporting the address of Duel Academy laying next to the catalogue. He wolf-whistled. “And here we are lads, right on the fucking money.”

And speaking of money… Phil’s thoughts changed track once again. Obviously, whichever poor teen his soul or mind or whatever had been yeeted into would have a family, or some sort of guardian. Obviously with enough cash to get him into the premiere school run owned by the Brick-Eyes obsessed, apparently some sort of reincarnation of an ancient Egyptian priest, Seto Kaiba himself. Hopefully he would have enough money at his fingertips so that he wouldn’t end up homeless.

Phil tore himself away from the desk. His quick glance at the letter was enough to tell him that the entrance exams were the next day, so he had to take care of things fast. He peeked outside of his door to reveal a hallway leading to a few elevators, and then with a satisfied expression took a long look out of the window. An apartment, with one bedroom, a tiny bathroom, and something that could barely be called a kitchen. Not bad, but most importantly, no one familiar enough with him to start raising questions of why he might be acting differently than the poor kid he replaced might have in the past.

So… what do I do now. I’ve no fucking idea how I got here besides the truck introducing itself to my fragile human body, but I… I need to make it back eventually. Or at least visit my family. I’ve got no issues landing in a world where one of my favorite hobbies is a way of life, but my mom. My dad. Phil shuddered at the thought of how distraught they would be to find him go missing. So that left him with a much smaller pool of options. Option número uno. Lay low, let the protagonists handle everything. I heard some things went to shit at the end of GX from my friends who actually watched it, but all-in-all it apparently ended pretty well for the normies of the world. I’ll most likely be dead by the time 5Ds happens anyways, so no worries about the weird nuclear shit that happens then. Option número dos, we, in the immortal words of Sun Tzu, git gud and fuck shit up. If this is following the anime timeline, I think there’s shit with shadow riders, the god card knockoffs that got a surprisingly competent structure deck on good ol’ Earth, and then I think Yubel and the tarot card cult dudes show up. Not exactly in that order. If I get lucky, I can possibly make a deal with them to make my way back, or find my own way back myself.

Phil slouched back to the- no, his desk to take a firm look at the card pool he was working with. The sets he had glanced at in the catalogue showed pretty much everything from Legend of Blue Eyes to around Phantom Darkness, so at least he knew it was fairly early on. Besides the god card knockoffs that obviously weren’t in there, it seemed to be pretty one-to-one with the set lists he had glanced at when putting some crap together for the GOAT night at his old locals. Still, there was much to consider. He had options, that was for sure.

Then, there’s the manga. I know a teensy bit more about that. Chazz is an actual threat to Jaden in that one, the planet series are badass, and instead of the Yubel, shadow riders, and cult dudes, I think the bulk of the plot in the manga is about that shitty handtrap Tragoedia. He mind controls some dudes or some shit. I don’t know. I only read a few volumes that the public library in my hometown had. Well, I suppose in the end there’s no way to tell until I get to the academy and see the first few days. I remember the differences between the anime and the manga in the early days at least a little bit.

And, despite Phil’s common sense telling him otherwise. There was one other big variable.

He could feel the fires of competition roaring in his gut. The other part of his head, one not affiliated with common sense in any way at all, screamed at him to throw together a deck and tear through the dueling scene. Just the thought of being able to duel ‘The Chazz’, Jaden, ‘The Kaiser’, maybe even Kaiba, or… Phil licked his lips in anticipation. The King of Games. Yugi. Fucking. Muto.

A wide grin settled across Phil’s face upon realizing that he had an opportunity, the slight possibility that if he proved himself, that if he was good enough and didn’t fucking die to the numerous amounts of people who wanted to steal his immortal soul using ancient Egyptian occult magic, that he would be able to brawl with the two figureheads of his childhood.

Through shiny cardboard, though. Just once glance at his skinny arms, all too similar to how his old body, was enough to make Phil chuckle. Yes sir, he was most certainly not going to win anything other than hopefully some duels. Phil shrugged his shoulders and began to straighten out the stacks of cards, until finally, they were at least less of a mess than they were before. Then, he widened his eyebrows. At the very back of his desk, once hidden by the uneven stacks of cards but now exposed, was something all-too familiar. A blue deckbox with a big water droplet stamped on the side, a deckbox not even meant for Yu-Gi-Oh, instead being for a quite magical card game.

“The fuck? That truck bastard didn’t even stop at stealing me, but it got my deckbox too?” Phil rushed towards the sturdy box while shouting in surprise. “That guy better not have… he couldn’t have…” He muttered as he lifted up the magnetic clasp with shaking hands.

Immediately Phil let out a sigh of relief. “Finally, some good news. I was scared you’d gotten bent with all the travel you’ve abruptly seen.” The target of his words was not money, nor a person, but a single stack of cards that he pulled out with careful hands.

“Here you are, safe and sound, my little froggy buddies. Too bad I doubt that I can legally use you, my delicious XYZ monsters that give me so much freaking card advantage.” Still, it was nice to have a reminder of home, Phil thought to himself. Even if, as he had said, most of the deck wasn’t something he could use in his lifetime in this world. Still, Phil snickered to himself at the mental image of him dueling Yugi and killing a fucking god card with two funny looking frogs stacked on top of each other named ‘Totally Awesome’.

Eventually Phil put the deck carefully back into its case with a sigh of regret after removing a few cards he could still use. Well, at the very least, I can still have some froggy fun and leave behind something for any kids I may or may not have to use and whip ass with in the future. And, with that thought out of the way, Phil leaned over his desk to begin something he always considered an interesting process – deck building.

-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-

A few hours passed, and as morning faded into noon, Phil had managed to completely sort through what he dubbed as the ‘random-ass piles of shit’ the kid had left him to work with. It wasn’t much, but at the same time it wasn’t bad at all. From his admittedly poor knowledge of the show, manga, and the academy itself, Phil already knew that due to the fact that a fucking academy existed just to teach people how to duel, that he could expect quite a bit of, as one may put it, ‘unga bunga decks’. In layman’s terms, simple decks with big monsters, big attack points, a bit of spell and trap destruction, and a handful of trap cards only usable during battle to level it out. So, with that in mind, Phil looked at his newly named ‘pile of decent shit’ with appraising eyes. It wasn’t much, but it could get him somewhere if he was smart about it.

Well, let’s see what we’ve got. Some GOAT staples, the few frog fellas I found in my deckbox that are actually legal for this time period, and a few more frogs I found in the pile. Then, Phil’s eyes drifted over to the best part. Not just the GOAT staples, but the really good GOAT staples. He grinned, taking in the Metamorphosis’s, the Spirit Reapers, the Pot of somehow not being fucking banned yet, the Graceful Charity that he was also surprised was still at one and not banned, and more.

“Oooooohhhh yeahhhh, it’s lookin’ up for me today!” Phil shouted in elation as he sleeved his beautiful creation. He was already imagining the fun he was going to have at the exams the next day.

-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-

The next day arrived swiftly, and Phil soon found himself approaching the exam building, doing his all to suppress the nervously excited shaking of his hands. The metal doors loomed closer and closer, and with each step Phil mentally checked through every detail he could think of to make sure nothing was missing.

Clothes, check. Duel disk, check. Is it working? Check. Deck filled with amphibians? Check. And… duel arena that the nice fellas at the entrance said I needed to report to? Phil bit back a vicious grin. Check.

Inside the room was a bored-looking examiner, who quickly motioned for Phil to step forwards. Phil followed suite, announcing his name for good measure and readying his disk. Without a single word the examiner readied his own disk and Phil’s heartrate tripled as his first duel started with absolutely zero fanfare whatsoever.

Phil’s starting hand of five cards shot into his hand, and as was the right of the challenger, he took the first turn and glanced towards his hand. All five cards entered his vision, with Phil being so familiar with their effects that he hardly had to read them at this point. He rolled his eyes. His hand most definitely could be better, but it would do in this world that as a general rule lacked OTK strategies.

“Alright, let’s get this show on the road.” He announced. “I’m gonna activate my King of the Swamp’s effect, sending it to the grave to add one Polymerization to my hand. Then, I’ll place one monster in face down defense position and set one card in my backrow, and that’ll be all.”

The examiner raised his eyebrows at the lackluster play, but started his turn anyways, speaking his first words since Phil had entered the arena. “Draw card.” The instructor scanned his cards a bit more slowly than Phil and then made his play. “I summon Pinch Hopper (1000/1200), and then my Pinch Hopper will attack your monster!” Phil cocked an eyebrow at the choice as his monster, a lowly Poison Draw Frog (100/100), was torn to shreds by the grasshopper his opponent had summoned. Still, his monster had done all Phil could ask of it, dying in order to activate its effect of drawing one card. Phil hummed a little under his breath as the examiner ended his turn and Phil took the draw.

Still not ideal. Well, it’s not like every initial idea is perfect. I’ll have to give this deck a few tuneups as resources allow me.

“Okay, in that case… I’ll set another monster and end my turn again.” A wearied expression crossed the examiner’s face, no doubt considering if I was just another worthless fellow with shitty monsters, but regardless of that the man drew for his turn.

Another crawling bug appeared on his field as the examiner summoned Howling Insect (1200/1300), its 1200 attack points biting into Phil’s life points and reducing them to 2800 from the original 4000 after Pinch Hopper made short work of the piddly little T.A.D.P.O.L.E (0/0), a tiny monster with zero attack or defense that Phil had set on his field. Still, Phil kept an easy smile on his face.

“Right, since my homeboy T.A.D.P.O.L.E was killed, I get to add another to my hand!” Phil shouted out dramatically, adding another copy of the seemingly useless monster from his deck to his hand. The examiner let out a sigh as the effect resolved.

“You know… maybe you should come back later, kiddo. Work on your deck more.” The obviously well-worn lines slipping out of the examiner’s mouth with a depressed ease.

Phil snorted at that well-meaning advice as he drew a card for his turn. “Naw. You know how it is, easy game, easy life. And speaking of easy game,” Phil grinned, “I’ve got just what I was waiting for! I summon the one, the only, T.A.D.P.O.L.E from my hand in attack position!” On the field, a tiny little tadpole sputtered into existence, seeming to quiver under the glares of the examiner’s two insect monsters. The man started to speak, but Phil brashly interrupted him. “And then, I activate Metamorphosis, turning my little fella into a horrifying eldritch monstrosity fit for all ages to see! I summon Thousand-Eyes Restrict (0/0)!”

The field shook as the eye-covered horror shuddered into existence, and Phil could have sworn he saw the bugs on the other side of the field tremble a little.

Eh. No matter. He thought as he continued his play.

“Thousand-Eyes Restrict, you know what to do! Give that Howling Insect the super suck!” The monster obliged, a swirling vortex forming on the field to turn the insect into an equip card attached to the Lovecraftian monster and Phil immediately ordered it to fulfil the next step of his plan now that its attack points were changed.

“Now that one of those guys is out of the way, let’s take out the other. Thousand-Eyes Restrict (1200/1300), obliterate that Pinch Hopper!”

The eye-covered shoulders of the monster shook, and the mouth in its middle opened as it flew forwards to shove the insect monster in its mouth to gorge upon its remains. However, the examiner simply smiled, as if to indicate things were still going to plan.

“In response,” The examiner lazily said, “Pinch Hopper’s effect activates to summon, from my hand, Saber Beetle (2400/600) in attack position!”

The ground shook once more as a massive beetle with what looked to be a glowing horn shooting out of its head dropped onto the field with a massive 2400 attack and a decidedly less massive 600 defense.

Phil let out a scoff of distain, though he was polite enough to keep that quiet, at least. Really. A 2400 beatstick with piercing that can’t even attack now due to Restrict’s effect. I am soooo frightened right now.

Instead of voicing his thoughts, however, Phil ended the battle phase, set a card face down, and ended his turn.

The instructor drew his card for turn, and without even looking at it, revealed a card in his hand. “I activate Book of Moon, flipping your Thousand-Eyes Restrict face down! Now it’s out of the way, I summon Giant Rat (1400/1450) in attack position, and then, my Saber Beetle attacks your monster!”

The beetle let out a piercing cry, charging forwards with its horn to strike the monster that was no longer face up to restrict other monster from attacking with its continuous effect. The attack struck true, its horn piercing through the zero defense Thousand-Eyes to shave Phil’s life points down to a total of 400. Still, Phil couldn’t shake the grin that was plastered across his face as the Examiner looked at him with pity in his eyes.

“And finally,” The examiner said, “I order Giant Rat to attack for game.” The rat struck forwards, its decent 1,400 attack points hurtling towards Phil’s remaining life points, when Phil flipped the facedown he had been saving since the start of the game.

“Not quite!” Phil shouted. “In response to the attack declaration, I activate my trap card, Karma Cut! By discarding Treeborn Frog (100/100) from my hand, I get to banish your Giant Rat from the game!” As the rat disappeared with a howl of surprise, some amount of the pity left the examiner’s eyes as the turn became Phil’s.

“Draw for turn!” Phil glanced at the new addition to his hand, hardly caring what it was. It was time to enact the combo he had been setting up since the start of the game.

“Alright! On my field, I activate Call of the Haunted to bring back my Treeborn Frog! Just can’t keep you down, buddy! Then, I’ll proceed to keep him down by using him to tribute summon Des Frog (1900/0) from my hand! Now, he has a funny little effect with my cute widdle T.A.D.P.O.L.Es in the grave. He’s gonna special summon any number of Des Frogs from my hand or deck equal to or less than the number of the little guys in my grave! That makes two more Des Frogs, for the crowd of zero people watching! And now, to finally prove for certain to ALL the masses that frogs beat insects every time, I activate the spell card Polymerization from my hand!”

The examiner started to have a shocked look cross his face and Phil could feel his own hands shaking in anticipation.

“Fusing together three Des Frogs from my field, I summon the frog, the myth, the legend, D! 3! S! FROOOOOOOOOOG! (2500/2000)”

In an instant all three Des Frogs disappeared, and in their place was a truly massive, a truly muscular, a truly fearsomely fat frog!

Phil grabbed an imaginary microphone from the air and assumed his best announcer voice. “Yes sir! Weighing in a truly lardbucket pounds and presenting a base amount of 2500 attack and 2000 defense, this fat motherfucker has an effect that pushes himself up to a nice Blue-Eyes level of 3000 attack due to one of his three identical sons, Treeborn Frog, being fucking dead! And now, he’s gonna vent his displeasure! D.3.S Frog! Tear that joke of a boss monster, Saber Beetle, to a million pieces!”

Immediately an impossibly long tongue leapt out of the massive frog’s mouth, encircling the insect in a heartbeat and dragging it to the frog’s mouth to consume. Behind his now-empty field, the examiner grimaced as his life points went down for the first time since the duel started, from 4000 to 3400 and the field advantage was completely changed.

Then, with a smug grin still decorating his face, Phil placed one card face down and ended his turn.

The examiner’s draw came, and it was finally his turn to be nervous. After all, there was a reason Blue-Eyes was so famous, and the 3000 attack points was a very big part of that reason. Still, the examiner couldn’t give a fair result if he surrendered in the face of the obvious, so he placed a monster face down and set one card in his backrow before ending his turn.

Phil’s turn started, and as he took his draw the only words that flashed through his mind were WHAT DOES IT FUCKING DO!!!!. Instantly he slapped the card down, activating the iconic Pot of Greed to draw two cards and frowning slightly when the examiner failed to ask what it did. Ah well. It’s getting close anyways. Phil thought to himself as he examined his two new cards. Not the best in the situation, but he had ended up burning a few more resources than he had intended to. Still, Phil mentally shrugged as he activated Mystical Space Typhoon, getting a mini-heart attack as the destroyed card revealed itself to be a rather nasty Mirror Force. Phil then revealed the second card in his hand, summoning the powerful Blade Knight (1600/1000) that, when its owner had 1 or less cards in their hand as Phil currently had, jumped up to a mighty 2000 attack points.

“Awright, Blade Knight, kill that set card that better fukin’ be a T.A.D.P.O.L.E, the most overpowered card in the game!” Phil ordered as the armored warrior brutally cut through the 300 defense points of the face down card that revealed itself to be the rather useless Silent Insect (200/300).

“And now, D.3.S Frog, you tub of lard, go sit on that man’s face!” Phil yelled, the massive frog choosing not to sit on his opponent’s face and instead lashing out with his mighty tongue to bring the examiner’s life points down to the exact equal of Phil’s – a tiny 400 points. Phil then ended his turn with an expectant glance and an empty hand.

On the other side of the arena, the examiner scowled as he looked at his drawn card, choosing to once again do nothing aggressive and ending his turn with a set monster and nothing else.

Phil could feel it. He was so close to greatness. And, his drawn card seemed to agree with him. Phil mentally shook his head in exasperation. It happened consistently during GOAT night back on Earth, and it seemed to happen a lot here as well. “Well, what are the odds. I activate Graceful Charity, the eternal companion to the lovely Pot of Greed I played last turn!” Three cards shot into Phil’s hand, and he gleefully discarded his final two Treeborn Frogs, making his D.3.S Frog shoot up to an intimidating 4000 attack points. Hot damn, hot damn! These froggos are likin’ me today! The final card in his hand, while not immediately usable, was still nice to see. Regardless, satisfaction welled up in Phil’s heart as he moved to battle phase. This was it.

Now, the smart the smart thing to do is to always assume that monster he has set has more defense than my pumped-up Blade Knight has attack and swing with my frog first. That’s what I’d do at locals, and that would most likely give me the sure win.

However, I’m fucking stupid and the voices in my head are telling me to end in the most badass way possible!

“And with that out of the way, Blade Knight! Destroy his face down monster!” Blade Knight roared into action, and slashed his way through the set Giant Rat. Phil’s heart skipped a beat, just waiting for the comeback, but he relaxed upon seeing that no effects were being activated.

Welp, sucks to have no other legal earth targets in your deck. Eh, it would’ve been in attack position anyways, and with the highest attack monster he can legally summon off the rat being 1500, that summon would have mattered a total of jack and shit. Phil thought to himself as he dramatically grabbed his invisible announcer’s mic again, preparing himself for something long due.

“And now, the moment you’ve all been waiting for folks, I order my unnnnnnnnbeatable D! 3! S! Froooooooog to attack directly and end this farce of a game!

This time, instead of lashing out with his tongue, the gigantic frog monster seemed to understand the mood as its massive hind legs sent it hurtling forwards like a morbidly obese missile with an impossibly widely opened mouth, the hologram almost seeming like it was consuming the examiner as it collided with the poor man and reduced his life points to zero.

Phil breathed out a relaxed sigh as the duel ended, and began to habitually go through the duel in his mind to look for misplays as he absentmindedly shook hands with the decidedly less bored-looking examiner and followed the man to the designated waiting areas.

Ya, I most definitely could have played that better. Should’ve Karma Cutted the Saber Beetle, though my thinking was right on the money – it did make for a more interesting duel. Thousand-Eyes is a hell of a card, but holy shit is it fucking boring. Either draw the effect destruction or the other removal outs, or fucking lose.

Naw. That Karma Cut wasn’t a misplay. Phil decided. Much more fun was to be had after Restrict left the field. Now, the real issue, Phil hummed to himself in thought as he entered a waiting room that overlooked the vast majority of the duel arenas, is that after I summon my chunky boi D.3.S, I don’t have much in the way of follow-up besides the Blade Knights or a lucky Snatch Steal into Metamorphosis. I figured that might be a problem, but hot damn is it a problem. If I hadn’t fucking destiny drew into that MST, that Mirror Force would have buggered me for sure, since my life points were too low to use anti-trap cards like Seven Tools of the Bandit. I didn’t have that card, but that’s beside the point.

Then, Phil’s train of thought was broken as he scanned the occupants of the waiting room. Most of the kids were unfamiliar to him, but a small handful of faces still stood out. Namely, a few of the central characters of the odd universe he had found himself in – Syrus, Bastion, and, if he wasn’t mistaken, Alexis and a few of the other Obelisk Blues looking in from a different waiting room. He could feel his heart rate quicken as he looked around to verify the situation.

Yup, no Jaden. Which means… Phil’s head turned as he finally realized that everyone was looking on towards one singular duel room. He walked up to it, unsurprised when he saw a city of skyscrapers littering the field, with a truly massive machine monster, even larger than his own ace frog, facing off against a multicolored hero that looked tiny in comparison.

Still, even though Phil knew exactly how this was going to end, he just couldn’t stop himself from cheering with the rest of the crowd as Elemental Hero Flame Wingman leapt from the top of the tallest skyscraper to blitz through the chest of the Ancient Gear Golem and win the battle with the miniscule, yet all important difference of 100 attack points between the golem’s 3000 and the hero’s buffed attack of 3100.

Hot damn is it gonna be fun to throw consistent deck building against Jaden’s plot-armor powered luck.

And, stored safely in his duel disk and unknown to the man, the D.3.S Frog in Phil’s extra deck vibrated with bloodlust in agreement.