《Martial King’s Lewd Dreams (Haitus)》Ch 1: Little Horny Horned Snake
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I have read a thousand erotic novels. Usually, even the most blandest of people can become protagonists in ero-novels... so why... was 'I' the only one left out? Did the Gods make a mistake?
To the heavens above: Have mercy on me!
I do not want much. Just one beautiful wife. You don't need to give me a harem, one wife is enough!
"...What are you doing?" A local Buddhist asked as I was praying at the temple. How dare he disturb?!
"Can't you you tell, huh?! What, are you really a Buddhist?" I was praying to my man, Buddha.
Please, hear my calls! Grace me with a wife!
"No, I mean... You're staring too hard at my disciple." Erm... You're just imagining things~
*Cough* I turned my head away from the bald bombshell. My strike zone was way too wide...
But damn it, I thought my stares were hidden...?
Looks like I must reach a higher mastery in my 'Peeking' Art. That way, I'll never be caught again.
"Can you leave?" The big Buddhist monk 'requested me', and I, being the most gracious gentleman that I am, left without saying another word. My footsteps revealed my heart of no shame.
Do even decrepit Monks have good Martial Spirits?
That bald bastard can summon a tiger. While for me... I can only summon a little horned snake...?
The heavens are unfair!
Daddy Kang, Momma Kang, you guys are the worst. Couldn't you have given me a good one?
I remember my father's words like yesterday...
"Son..." He'd grabbed my shoulder on that day. A sadness overcame his voice: "You lost the lottery."
"Which one?"
"The genetic lottery, my son. I, your good Daddy Kang, am ashamed. You had great potential..." I think he was talking about my genes back then. It seems both my parents had strong Martial Spirits.
My dad had the 'Million Poison Grass Snake' Martial Spirit, and my mom had the 'Imperial Horned Boa Constrictor'. And yet, here I was born with a simple 'Black Horned Grass Snake'.
"What's wrong with that?"
"You were born without the constitution of your mother's Martial Spirit, nor the poison of my own."
"Is that bad?"
"Real bad!"
"Can I swap it out...?"
"Maybe in your next reincarnation." The grown man cried more than me when it came to my talents.
I mean, it's not hard to understand. My dad was sorry he couldn't give me the life of a protagonist.
For the rest of my life, I'll be a side character compared to those who have Legendary Spirits or even those extremely rare Twin Spirits. For me, this was the greatest stigma others mocked me for.
It made me a little emotionally unstable in my youth. To the point I considered working as the Host Bar in Lavender Pavilion. That way, I could get some booty without having to struggle that much.
However, my mom stopped me...
"You'll regret your decision." Momma Kang said those words so seriously, that I couldn't ignore it.
"Huh...? How would I regret?"
"Girls there don't treat their males well. They also impose heavy restrictions on the Host's freedom."
"Ummm... Why does mom know that?"
*Cough cough* "Err... Reasons." She turned her head. Mom wasn't really good at deception.
Momma Kang was so cute~
But still... I took her words to heart. It was only later on in life did I realise what she was getting at.
Although it seemed like I could get what my heart desired from going there, that wasn't the case.
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Joy, intimacy, connection... Those kind of things were all an illusion if you bought it from them.
It made my first time feel hollow and empty when I went to the Redlight District and became a customer. The prostitutes there were nice, but the coldness in their eyes made my lower body limp.
There was no way I could finish properly. Even trying to get to know them was a useless farce.
They'd been far too hurt to feel the same...
I wish there would be an opportunity for me to form a much closer relationship. A more sexier bond!
"Help..."
Hmmm, am I hearing things?
"Help!"
Something so cliche can't happen in broad daylight, right? What are the odds of it happening?
"HELP ME!" I finally turned my head to see that there was a woman being bullied on the street.
Three bald men were hovering around her like disgusting flies. Mostly because they were men.
Honestly, what I wanted was for them to get out of the way so my eyes could see her pretty face.
Walking around a little, it was finally time for me to see who that cute voice belonged to, and as I'd expected, she was a bombshell~ Those long white legs, those doe eyes, those boobs, big... boobs...
What am I waiting for?
Isn't this the moment I'd been waiting for my whole life. Isn't this why I'd cultivated my meagre skills?
Acupuncture, medicine, training under a waterfall to learning the Kang Family secret technique.
What had I not done for my ambitions?
Looking at their savage features, my body shook in fear of how much it would hurt if they hit me.
However, another feeling beat down my fear, gave it a wedgy, spun it around, before giving it a supreme beat down. Yes... My horny ambitions were driving out the fears that overcame me!
"Halt, in the name of love and justice!" I stretched out my hand and got the attention of the trio.
The three scar-faced bandits turned around. Their faces were scary enough that I had to continue.
Otherwise, their faces alone would break my momentum. That's how scary they looked...!
"How dare you evildoers commit acts in front of me, Kang Hyuk, the hero of love and fertility!"
{Did he just say fertility?} Was what was written on their faces. They looked at each other confusedly.
"Even if the heavens forgive you, I, Kang Hyuk of the three swords, will never let you rest in peace!"
As I stood there and yelled at them, they started scratching their heads in wonder of my actions.
"Hey, you don't have three swords. I only see two on your waist." The shortest of them pointed out.
"Don't you dare interrupt me! I'll slap you with my third sword, you bastards!" I roared in anger.
As if understanding my joke, the beautiful woman holding a handkerchief to her red lips giggled.
It was only then did the bandit turn red in anger.
"How dare-!"
"Today, evil shall not take another dirty breath!" I finally psyched myself up and charged at the trio.
"Wait!" The biggest and most savage looking of the trio roared in a level-headed manner towards me.
Damn it! What did they want now...?!
"Explain yourself...!"
"I think fellow martial brother had us all wrong. A respectable hero wouldn't meddle in this at all."
"And why the hell not?!"
"Because... this woman is actually a prostitute of Orchid Pavilion. She is a vile and dirty woman! I dare say that it was her who seduced us three brothers." The large man licked his lips wickedly.
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"I didn't...! They're lying!" The woman cried innocently. This made me think back to the past.
"Son, remember: There are times criminals join forces and pretend to be sheep in order to devour wannabe heroes. You have to be careful." After remembering the words of my dad, I looked at them carefully... but found no indication of that.
It looked like this woman was truly being bullied for no reason. That's why I was even more confident.
"She said you're lying."
"But I'm telling the truth! She really is a lewd prostitute...!" The man did not let go of that fact.
The 'Pure White Orchid Pavilion' was well-known in this town's Redlight District. It was a dark place.
No honest gentleman who wanted to keep his reputation would ever go anywhere near there.
But was the man standing here a 'gentleman'?
"Well, jokes on you. My dad also worked there." I spoke the words that made everyone's jaw drop.
That's right! Daddy Kang wasn't just a Martial Master. My Daddy was every lady's 'Daddy'!
"...Why are you saying that so proudly? And you dare say those heroic lines about evildoers-"
"Blindspot!" I grabbed the man and threw him onto the ground before he could finish his sentence.
"Brother!" The two other bandits were incensed by my sneak attack. They tried summoning spirits.
Normally, it was only honourable to stop and wait for the opponent to fully power themselves before fighting. Ha! What 'honour'? My arms lowered as I used the Kang Family's first secret technique!
[Castration Art: Threefold Family Jewel Breaker!]
My foot vanished for a moment, and all three bandits felt their lower bodies become lighter.
It's because their eggs broke upon impact.
They cried. Internal Qi was dispersed as they made horrific noises no woman could ever understand.
I turned me back on them coolly. Ah, this was the fate of my enemies. I am such a callous devil...
Oh woe is me. A weak man who had no choice but to go on the dark path. No one could ever understand what I feel. As I was busy posing, my eyes opened just a little see what the damsel was doing. Somehow, she actually seemed impressed.
"Thank you...!" She dived into my chest and hugged me. This gave me a good opportunity to take a whiff of her fragrant scent. As expected, she really WAS a high class woman in that pavilion.
Judging from the feel of her soft skin, from the materials of her modest yet easy to strip clothes, to the way she walked. This woman was definitely someone who had her own secret background.
"You aren't going to complain of my methods?" My heart was already prepared for some criticisms.
I mean, was there any woman who wanted to be saved like this? Didn't they want their good 'hero'?
"I'm not the such a unscrupulous woman that I'd complain to my saviour. What can I do to repay you?" She leaned her body against me. From this point, there was no way I didn't know her meaning.
When my arms wrapped around her waist, it felt like her body would just disappear if I let go. The softness and flexibility of her body was akin to finest fabrics. As if I was wrapped in fine cotton.
There was a part of me that felt a little afraid. The memory of those cold eyes I'd gotten behind a friendly smile at that flower pavilion resurfaced. It made cold sweat run down my back in anguish.
However, one couldn't gain if they're not daring!
I forced myself to look into her eyes as she looked at me. There, I saw something vastly different.
Sincerity...
Though others may mock her, she was truly a woman who looked at me for who I was. Even though others call me despicable, she only saw what was in front of her eyes; not my dark past.
"You know... I'm not a nice gentleman." I didn't know why, but I tried escaping her grasp, only to find myself stuck in her embrace. She laughed alluringly once again and drew in my weak self.
"And I'm not a pure girl."
"I might get clingy..."
"That's fine. Let's introduce ourselves then."
"My name is Kang Hyuk."
"Mine is Bai Lingyun."
"...Miss Bai, can we keep in contact? If you're uncomfortable with this, then I could just leave."
"Isn't that even better? I never said I'd repay you only once, did I?" She tempted me with her eyes.
My desire for social validation kicked in, and I wasn't able to resist her advances whatsoever.
No, this was what I came for!
I'm a winner in life! Finally, I'm now getting a booty call without having to pay someone off first.
I could die happy n-
*Cht!*
Suddenly, I felt a cold object enter my back, and the woman before me screamed. My red fluids dirtied her hands. My eyes turned back to see one of those 'broken eggs' barely managed to stab me.
I let down my guard...
"Mr. Kang! Kang Hyuk! Please... P-please stay with me! Noooo!" Miss Bai stuttered as she held me.
It makes me remember of how mom used to hold me. So gentle... so loving... like she cared for me.
Her eyes gradually started turning red from rage that never arose on her face even when being threatened. She stopped herself from yanking the sword out of my back, keeping it firmly in place.
I'm surprised she knew that moving it would only lead to me bleeding out. She laid me on the floor.
"Aaaah!" I heard the bandits cries of pain, before the people behind me turned quite somehow...
I wasn't sure what she did to them. My back was facing upwards, so my face was on the ground.
My consciousness was fading fast...
"Kang... No, Hyuk... I'm sorry. I can't save you." It was at this point she seemed resigned to my fate.
Nothing could be done to help me...
"I-it's fine. I was careless." Even though it wasn't like I was dying a virgin, I still spoke insincerely.
A part of me didn't want her to feel bad. This was solely my responsibility. I'd let down my guard.
"I'm sorry... I'm so sorry..." Reality was different from fiction. No one could stay detached to death.
Murder was tragic no matter where it happened. If you knew the person even a little bit, then their death would affect you. Will these be my last moments? Well, at least I'm dying in a girl's arms.
"Hehe, I'm proud... Hey, did you fall for me-"
*Cough* Blood started clogging my throat. I puked out a lot of it, but it wouldn't stop interfering with my breathing. I'd ran out of time and couldn't talk anymore, my body was becoming colder over time.
Miss Bai leaned over and whispered in my ear:
"Actually, the reason I couldn't fight earlier was because I'd self-sealed my Martial Spirit. I was resolved to punish myself... for who I was. Thank you... I'll never forget you." She spoke quietly.
There was a storm brewing beneath her tone that I couldn't understand. Her emotions were complex.
It was than my mind finally blacked out.
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