Metatronica

“Is it not majestic?”

“I dunno, Ray. It looks like the unholy spawn of Godzilla and the Pink Power Ranger.”

“And is that not consummate majesty?”

“Seems like a recipe for robo-drama. Which never ends well.”

“Danielle, you see drama in everything. You thought the burritos I made last night were overly dramatic.”

“Just the guacamole. I mean who does flaming guacamole? Seriously, Ray, who torches avocado?”

“The man that created Metatronica! The first robot built on circuitry that processes light rather than electrical current.”

“Yeah and remind me why that is such a big deal?”

“Danielle, honey, that’s like asking what’s the difference between a locomotive powered by steam and a mag-lev bullet train. It’s like going from vacuum tubes to transistors to microchips. It’s nanoscale. Speed of light without residual heat. Small, fast and efficient, so Metatronica’s logi-frame can be exponentially larger than any robot currently on the market. We will eat our competitors’ lunches—with flaming guacamole.”

“Still doesn’t sound appetizing.”

“It will when Metatronica is preparing it on the Food Network.”

“What are you talking about, Ray?”

“I’m talking limitless possibilities. Metatronica will be able to do anything humans do, better, faster and cheaper.”

“Does that come with the jetpack NASA promised us in the 1950s?”

“I’ll have Metatronica build you a special one, my dear.”

“You haven’t even turned the thing on yet. How do you know it even works?”

“That’s where you’re mistaken, honey buns. I booted Metatronica last week to test its systems and they worked flawlessly. Though, Metatronica made one suggestion before I unveiled the prototype.”

“What do you mean, Metatronica made a suggestion? It talks?”

“Talks, walks, dances, makes flaming guacamole.”

“R-r-r-ray?”

“Yes, dear?”

“That Godzilla-Pink Power Ranger hybrid is not Metatronica, is it?”

“No, dear. That is Ray. He agreed with my suggestion, though I don’t think he quite thought through all the ramifications. At any rate, we are headed for big things, honey. I’m glad you’re on board. I’ll have your jetpack by tomorrow.”

“Tomorrow…”

“Yeah, right now I want to perfect that flaming guacamole for the Food Network. They are so going to eat it up.”