《Rising of the Battlecook》Pink Glasses
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– I'm… uh… what?
– You heard me right, silly human! My name is Madonna! I'm the left hand of Gladiolus!
She took a step towards Katsumi. A strong stench of liquor oozed from her sheet-covered body. Katsumi took a step back.
– Dude, how old are you? Alcoholism can ruin your life! Did your mom not teach you that?
– I'm turning sixty-nine this winter. Ah, such a pleasant number!
– You're awfully good looking for such an old hag.
– So you have an eye for quality? Do you too swing both ways?
Madonna playfully put her hand on Katsumi's chin, slowly approaching the girl's mouth with her thumb. Katsumi grabbed the titan's hand by the wrist, tightly gripping and pushing it aside.
– Don't touch me. – her voice was calm, yet venomous.
– Ara ~ Ara! – the titan shrugged and went for her clothes lying on the ground. – What's life without a bit of fun? Being serious all the time makes your skin turn all wrinkly.
Katsumi looked at the two titan men still lying unconscious in the bed.
'Life without a bit of fun? These people are crazy… and also… pretty handsome... shit! Don't let in to the temptations, Katsumi! Remember, they tried to murder a child! They are no more than trash of society!'
– Are you thirsty?
Madonna had her back turned on the girl. Her curse-marks all connected to one thick line running down her spine. She was slim, yet muscular, her womanly parts round and mature.
– Tsh, like you wouldn't poison me. – Katsumi bit down on her tongue and looked away from the woman.
– Easy now! I'd be crazy to hurt you. Gladiolus would kill me the exact moment.
– That old freak and his curse mania…
– He finds pleasure in curses, I find pleasure in alcohol. You must have something that makes living worth for you.
– Hah, of course! That would be… uh… that's… something! Yeah!
– Thought so. You must be pretty stressed from all the hero-play. Ara ~, drink this!
Madonna had a bottle of colorless alcohol in hand.
– No.
– Oh well, more for me!
The titan put the bottle in her mouth and drank like a thirsty warrior drinks his beer. After drinking one half she handed the other to Katsumi.
– Tsh!
She took the alcohol and tried to copy what the titan did, but after just one gulp she spat the rest out to the velvet carpet.
– What is this?
– Plum. Pretty little plum fruit.
– Agh! It tastes like fire! Quick, give me some water!
– I don't have any.
– What? – tears broke forth from her red eyes. – Just what are you made out of?
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Surprisingly the cheeky titan didn't have any comebacks to that. She went back to her clothes as her smile traded place with a melancholic stare.
– Momo Katsumi. Age nineteen. Status effects include 'Forthcoming Breakdown'. You shouldn't leave your status unchecked, you know.
Katsumi felt the air change around the titan. She wiped her snot away and spoke.
– You used 'Clairvoyance' just now, right? I'm still inexperienced so I can only see my name and level.
– It varies by person. I'm trained in the arts of magic, so my 'Clairvoyance' outshines that of common men'. That being said, do I look good?
The one-piece romper she wore was the mixture of a V-neck beige shirt and shorts. Flower necklaces and bracelets smoothened her liquorish smell. Her smile almost made Katsumi forget she's enemy.
– It looks like… flowers?
– Ara ~, you truly are unfun! – she giggled.
– Well, good news! I'll leave you alone if you bring me to Gladiolus.
– Hmmm… nope.
– Yo – Katsumi raised her fist –, I drank your shit and asked you nicely. I showed 'respect'. It's your time to do the same!
– I haven't put you in a cage yet. Isn't that enough?
Katsumi hissed as the titan smiled.
She had to meet Aeren and if not now, she might never again. The only way to him was through the leader of the titans, Gladiolus. He's the team's target. If she's there in the final battle, she can get close to Aeren and tell him what happened by the waterfall.
– Alright. What fun adventures should we go on, Miss Madonna?
– Ahh, your sweet sarcastic tone, it makes my heart race! Juuust kidding. First things first, we visit the smoking room.
– I don't smoke.
– No surprise! – she laughed before picking up a small bell from behind the bed. – Oh my! This must've fell down about… hmmm.. 2 hours ago?
– Ehw.
– Ring-ring-ring! Hehe, come forth my cute little minions!
The door opened with a bang. A group of tall titans entered the room holding a crimson throne on their shoulders.
– Holy crap! They are anything but little!
– I know! They follow an extreme exercise routine I set up. The guys in bed? Thought they could slack off. Both of them passed out after an hour.
– Did I fall into a bad hentai?
– Yes! – Madonna giggled. – Whatever that means!
A short bridge-ride later they ascended to another room. It was an ordinary sauna, only difference being tubes hanging from the ceiling. Katsumi and Madonna sat down on opposite sides of the room. Katsumi didn't feel comfortable and stayed fully dressed, even though she was sweating like crazy.
Madonna grabbed one of the tubes and inhaled a white steam.
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– What's that? – Katsumi asked.
The titan blew a white cloud at her. Katsumi quickly sat away and coughed.
– What the – *cough* – what is this smell?
– You don't know? Ara ~, no wonder you're so stressful!
– Excuse me? Is this some sort of drug?
– No! It's the healthy gas of my favorite plant.
– How's that in any way reassuring?
After dodging some more smoke-clouds, Katsumi was dragged into the next room. It looked like a gym but instead of dumbbells it was full of training dummies and weapons.
– I used to be the best archer of my tribe. – Madonna grabbed a longbow. – I could kill a fly from a hundred trees away!
– You use trees to measure length?
– What others would we?
– I don't know… fingers?
– Ahaha, silly human! Each hand is different, even our fingers are not the same size!
– Yeah, because trees are all the same.
Madonna stepped closer and grabbed her hand.
– You know – the titan said with a flirty voice –, I looove when a girl has long fingers.
– Thanks! Now I want to cut them off.
They left after Madonna shot a few arrows and shorty after arrived at a boutique. Smaller titans surrounded them and took measures of their size. Although she was frustrated, Katsumi didn't say a word and calmly waited.
– Say, Momo-chan... can I call you Momo-chan?
– Fuck no.
– Alright, then I'll call you sweet peach!
– I'll to throw up.
– That green jacket, why are you wearing it?
– It's a uniform.
– I see… and I also see a few missing buttons and burn marks. Say, how about we find you a new garment? That ugly green doesn't suit such a pretty girl.
She stayed quiet as her gaze changed. The frustration dissolved into a sea of thoughts and her eyes gazed at a distance far beyond their world.
– No. It's important to me.
– Ara ~, don't be such a party-pooper! We could have a girly afternoon and dress up as total queens!
– Tch, I'm no queen. I'm just a cook. – she smiled. – It's a reminder for who I am.
Madonna felt weird about the girl's melancholy but quickly shrugged it off. The tailors brought flowers to the titan and swapped them out with the withered plants.
She left the boutique with a large smile on her face. Katsumi followed with hands in pocket.
– Oh my! I'll be the cutest little titan at the feast!
– Huh? What feast?
– Ara ~ Ara, I talk food and your demeanor changes. Little piggy, can you say 'oinky-oink' for me?
– Fuck off, just ignore I asked.
– Ah, I might've went a bit too far. Sorry about that.
Katsumi let out an upset snort and gulped down the attack on her pride.
– Whatever.
– Tonight marks the tenth anniversary of Titannica's takeover. It's a gloomy day, but it's important to keep the army's moral high. We celebrate and pray for a better Titannica.
– Yeah, a tomorrow built upon corpses of the innocent.
The bridge stopped in front of a large gate. On the other side was a large theater room. Painting decorated the ceiling with such grace, it would make a baroque church envious. A few titans were already present and slowly but surely the room was getting filled
Madonna got down from her throne and lead Katsumi to one of the balconies where they could get a better view. Only the two of them went up the stairs, as the upstairs area was specifically for leaders and important personnel.
– I heard you titans were modest.
– Ara ~, someone did her research!
– This place reminds me of castles and churches. They have halls this decorated.
– Titans are talented individuals! If you'd want to, we might accept you as one of our…
– Who funds you?
Both of them stopped. Katsumi couldn't see Madonna's face, but she could imagine what it looked like. She hit the nail on the head.
– First off – Katsumi said while pointing at the titan –, your room. Everything there was expensive. The velvet rug, the crimson paint, even your bed felt like something out of a medieval fanfic!
Madonna didn't move.
– Secondly, that weird wardrobe room. I would've accepted it as a treasury for your ransacked goods, but I saw something that really bugged my eyes: purple clothes. I read how hard it is to produce that color! Have you ever thought about why no country has it in its flag? That's because it's expensive as shit and nations would go bankrupt just from printing flags!
She stepped towards Madonna.
– But what really hammered it all home was this room! Why would a rebel army that hides in the forest have an entire room just for plays? And what the hell is up with the decorations? You think I believe it was made by one of your sex slaves?
– You… is that why you believe we're funded by someone?
– Yes. – she snarled.
– Ara ~ Ara! – she smiled. – You're such a fool, it actually makes you a viable person.
– Tsh, so you won't even hide it.
– Why would I hide anything? You're the ones not seeing the truth! But enough chit-chat for now, the show is just about to begin!
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