After having exhausted her big scheme; Lady Luck found that she didn't really have any plans set up to handle the new menace. Nearest extinction level Asteroid was so far away that by the time it would make contact with the Earth the Hairless apes would probably have already left the system.

She tried nudging the other planets into a collision course but any nudge she attempted was corrected within the Millennium with how stable the damned place was. She tried to direct more asteroids in an attempt to pepper the planet, but the damned moon kept playing goalie. She even attempted to cause an early supernova to occur yet the Star stayed silent.

After exhausting another plan for planetary destruction, Lady Luck got a brilliant idea. "Hmm maybe if I were to push the planet further away from their star, even if only for a millennium, those Humans will be cut off from any good source of water. I mean after all it would take them forever to get out of the equatorial region to a place with more fresh water".

With her declaration Lady Luck nudged Earth slightly away from The Sun. With the temperature of the Earth dropping the once humid air that supported the Sahara Jungle started to turn bone dry.

For those who are wondering why colder temperatures create deserts, look no further than to Antarctica as an example. Because of the lack of heat, Just about all the moisture in the air has condensed into ice leaving only basic plant life, such as fungi and algae, to survive the extreme cold. As to why the Sahara, despite being drastically different in terms of temperature, is a desert look at mars. Because there is barely any moisture in the air, at night most of the heat escapes.

Much like the rest of her hair-brained schemes that had less than 5 and a half "brain cells" put into it, she forgot that Humans were fairly decent at walking for long periods of time. While most of the species went further south following the Sahara jungle as it receded, A small contingent went east.

Then these people settled in the middle of the east. Then some went north, and then east some more. Soon these vermin had spread all across their home planet even before the invention of the compass. To make matters worse was that the wildlife outside of the African continent were NOT ready for the invasion of the species.

Realizing what she had done, she took a proverbial step back to finally, PROPERLY, think things through.

"Ookay... This is bad... I can see that now. I can still fix this, I think... C'mon girl, THINK. I got rid of the previous sapien easily, and They had Fucking Daggers for toes! Can't use Celestial bodies, Damned system is too rigid. Can't Change the climate, the monkeys adapt too quickly. Can't manipulate the masses, there aren't enou- Wait! That's it! There aren't enough of them around. With how quickly these fuckers breed and propagate, they should get to the point where their populace becomes complacent enough that the idiot masses would be easily swayed. Just need to make sure they stay on their rock."

And so, Lady Luck kept her mitts off of the Human race for a time. Letting them grow and develop. All the while bidding her time for when their own hubris would be their downfall. She stopped interfering with the world, until the 20th century. With the invention of the rocket, Lady Luck got a bit handsy with their deployment. Not when they were used to blow up bunkers, but when humanity attempted to reach for the stars.

Lady Luck LOVES rockets, especially primitive ones. A self-propelled Mass with barely any control going at an insane speed is her cup a' tea. A slight nudge here or there to change the ascent angle barely a degree can make a successful takeoff turn into a horrific crash. That is why when she saw the USSR starting a space program she decided to muck around with the hunks of metal. She thought, for a moment, that now would be a great time to cause a problem especially with the introduction of the USA into the space race; however, she held her hand. She realized that if a nuclear war occurred it wouldn't be nearly as devastating as she needed it to be.

Sure she still caused the occasional rocket to spiral out of control, and sure the USA landed on the moon, but that was the extent of the two nation's race. They sent probes all across their solar system, and even made a space station, but never went back to their natural satellite.

It wasn't until late 2019 that she finally felt the time was ripe to initiate her plan. World tension was high, Countries developing Bio/chemical weapons, and governments inadvertently causing civil unrest.

And so, like a game of Contagion LLC., the beginning of the apocalypse began in a simple village in china.

***********

Min Zhe woke up on Thursday with a bad cough. With how much pollution His village has it was a given that eventually he would show signs. He's already been having a tough week with how the factory docked his pay, and his landlord increasing rent. So, the prospect of him missing out on a day's wage wasn't an option in his mind let alone going to the doctors for a checkup.

He proceeded to soldier on, and start another day of work. Getting out of the shower he got dressed, made himself some breakfast, ATE said breakfast, and rushed to the bus stop so that he could get a proper seat.

Arriving at the stop he shoved and shimmied his way out of the Human sardine can on wheels. Speed walking his way to the employee entrance of HSH Suit factory #231. Min Zhe was about to clock in when his abrupt cough caused him to miss the time punch. After recovering from it he punched in and proceeded to his sewing station #09. Safe, and not a minute to spare.

"Min Zhe you were almost late!" Li Chen, his boss, said tersely. "And you wonder why we docked your pay. We expect you to arrive early. How else are you to show your willingness to work for our great company?"

"I will do better, Floor Director Li Chen." Min Zhe said as he bowed low.

"You better! Else you might have to find a new employer. Since you look eager to redeem yourself, I guess we can be lenient with today's actions if you complete 20,000 more units than your current quota"

"Of course! Floor Director Li Chen." --You damned pig fucker-- “I’ll make you proud"

Floor Director Li Chen "Hmph"ed as he walked away.

Min Zhe stayed bowed long after the pompous man left, and finally sat down at his station to begin sewing the same stick 5--No--70,000 times.

>>>

Nearing the end of the day Min Zhe somehow managed to pull off most of the stitches that he was ordered to sew. Nearing the final one however his throat started to itch.

*COugh*

With the abruptness of the cough Min Zhe pushed the Hazmat suit that he was working on slightly forward, skipping a stitch. With the monotony of the day He didn't notice this and continued forward with his sewing.

Finally completing his 70,000th suit for the day he hit the buzzer and left to punch out. 16 hours of straight sewing can leave a man mentally drained so instead of going to the bar, he went straight to his apartment to pass out on his bed. --Two more days till i get that day off--

**********

Harun al-Qurashi loves his family, and because he loves his family he works long hours at his research lab. That way he can love them even more when he returns home. Even 20 years after being in an arranged marriage with his wife, He still loves her. So when His boss called him in the late evening on a Sunday for mandatory overtime, he was ecstatic to give his wife a goodbye kiss. In front of his parents at the dining table, of course. After all, he loves his wife.

Gathering his briefcase and keys; he left to get into his expensive car

.

--Thank Allah for small miracles-- Harun thought to himself as he drove to the lab. --If I had to spend one more minute with that wench, I would have eaten a cyanide pill. Honestly after 20 years you'd think she would be less of a whiny bitch.--

"OoH HaRuN, MaKe SuRe YoU TaKe ThE DoG To ThE ClEaNeRs'

"OoH HaRuN, DoN't FoRgEt ThE DinNeR WiTh ThE JoHnSsOnS"

"OoH HaRuN, ThE ShOwEr Is LeAkInG, YoU NeEd To CaLl ThE PlUmBeR!"

"AAAGH! You dumb bimbo why can't you call the fucking plumber?!" Harun vented his frustration while shaking his steering wheel. He settled down after almost swerving into an oncoming car.

He drove in silence to the parking lot. Parking his expensive four-door, he walked into the lobby. Showing his badge to the security officer behind the desk, he got logged into the system, and walked to the entrance of the elevator. Entering the elevator he pressed floor 6 and waited as the terrible Bossa Nova played on the speaker overhead. All the while tapping his shoe to the surprisingly catchy beat.

Upon arriving on the 6th floor the elevator dinged, opening up and letting Harun out. He walked to his Corner office where he dropped his briefcase down on the floor next to his desk. Pulling his arm back up he snagged his hand against the sharp corner eliciting a yelp as it left an almost cat like scratch on the edge of his palm. seeing no blood he proceeded to sit down in his comfy "Executive" office chair, and log on to his computer terminal.

"Ookay let's see what the boss-man has for me today" he mumbled to himself while checking his email.

"Fundraiser for Sarah's gremlin..."

--Nope--

"Taco-Tuesday canceled next week due to negligent supervision of the buffet table..."

--Damned that Sylvester and his obsession with spicy foods--

"New shipment of HSH disposable Hazmat suits..."

--Finally, after how many days of waiting?..AH-Ha! Here it is!--

"Progress with Test substance A.I.D.S-42/2020_23 needs to be made before investors' meeting next Monday..."

*Sigh*

--At least it is close to being complete. Really those suits were the cause of the hold-up--

Harun logged off his computer and went to the prep room. Grabbing one of the plastic factory bags for the silvery hazmat suits he tore it open, and started to get dressed in it.

After attaching the 4-point sealed helmet, he looked like he was going to the US president to tell him, “Take me to your leader". Either that or he was participating in the Apollo 1 Mission, just with more chrome.

Entering in the decontamination airlock, he stopped with his arms spread out and his feet a foot apart. The door he entered closed and the light turned Yellow.

--I hate this part--

*Psssssssshhhhhhhhhhh*

The decontamination misters sprayed Harun from head to toe, and back again. When the signaling light turned from yellow to green he relaxed his arms as the opposite door leading into the Laboratory itself opened.

Stepping through the portal he walked towards the culture fridge. Recording the current temperature on the nearby clipboard, he opened the door and took out the recent sample. Closing the fridge door with his open hand, Harun spun to the right and almost clipped the edge of the counter with the culture disk in his blurred haste to get to work.

--Fuck!--

After internally chastising himself, Harun held the Petri dish closer to his body so as not to have it out where it could hit something.

He took the sample to the work station where he began the final tests of using the HIV as a vector to target Overactive immune systems, while being less likely to completely strip the immune system.

>>>

At 6 in the morning Harun accomplished his goal. He was ecstatic, but also exhausted. He'd been up for nearly 24 hours since Sunday, and was ready to go home and crash in bed next to his dumb bimbo of a wife. But first he had to put away his equipment and the new culture of "Safe" HIV.

Making sure to hold it against himself so as to not tempt fate he quickly opened the fridge door.

*CRASH*

"Oh fucking shit!..'"

In Harun's sleep deprived excitement he stood too close to the door resulting in it crashing against the culture shattering the glass and sending some of the contents onto his Suit and the rest on the floor.

"MONTHS of research wasted!” He yelled as he washed his gloved hands. Wiping down the front of his suit with bleach towels, He checked it and his gloves for any obvious signs of tearing. While shards of glass might not be able to tear through the cut resistant material easily it was always better to be safe than sorry

Finding no signs he pressed the Emergency De-Con button, initiating the full sanitization of the room, and anything in the refrigerators. Hanging his head low he walked to the airlock. Inside the System Flashed the yellow light, Harun set his body in the proper stance, and the misters covered him in a cleaning foam instead of the usual alcohol based solution. After a few moments the misters then sprayed him with almost-too-hot water and then finished off with the usual solution.

After entering the prep room he took off the Suit and threw it into the disposal bin and went to his office to grab his things.

Badging out at the main lobby he left for home wondering if he should just send his resignation in or face the investors next week.

--Maybe I should see if Aliyah is up for a round or two. She may be a whiny bitch, but at least she is attractive, and I could definitely blow off some steam right about now--

As he contemplated the pros and cons of a fun morning with his wife, the scratch on his palm started to itch.

*******

Aliyah al-Quarashi was very disappointed when Harun was called back into work in the middle of dinner with her in-laws. She worries that his boss is overworking him, but whenever he heads off to work he always has that goofy smile that she loves dearly.

This is why when he woke her up on Monday morning for a fun time, she was excited.

Harun wasn't exactly a celibate, but he didn't get into bed with her very often, and when he did he wasn't the most passionate. Which is why at noon she was quite satisfied with how voracious he was. Even if she woke up with a sneeze, after their fun was over she was quite energetic.

After a quick lunch she decided to make a special dinner for Harun, so she walked to the local farmers market.

--Fresh local produce always beat store-bought--

>>>

When she finally arrived after 15 minutes, she realized she forgot her mask.

"Oh shoot" she chastised herself. However, upon noticing some of the customers not wearing one she withdrew her guilt with a simple thought.

--Aah who am I kidding, those scientist did say the masks are only for those who are at-risk--

And so Aliyah, with basket in hand, set off like a woman on a mission.

>>>

30 minutes went by as Aliyah gathered her ingredients from the stalls. With most of the items on her shopping list crossed out; she was just about done with the recipe for an "Authentic Latin American chicken dumplings" that she found on Etchy.

"Hmmmm"

--Maybe some Guacamole would be nice as a side dish? Harun does like spicy food so maybe some spicy Guacamole?!--

Excited about her new brilliant idea, Aliyah went off to find some chili pepper.

She found a stall selling them for a discount price and quickly nabbed a bunch placing them into her basket. When she saw a stall selling avocados, Aliyah recalled that she had no idea how to tell if an avocado was ripe.

"Excuse me sir, but do you know how to tell which one is ripe and which isn't?” she asked the Granola-looking-man tending the stall.

"Suure miss. All you gotta do is peel off the nub of the stem. Some people will also smell that area as well." Drawled the granola-looking-man.

"You mean like this-?" Aliyah demonstrated the instructions, and as she got a whiff of the heavenly aroma of the avocado, she also got the fiery brimstone of the chili pepper oil that still coated her hands.

*Achoo*

"Heeey! Watch it miss". The Granola-looking-man responded strenuously

"I am so sorry, Sir! I had bought peppers earlier, and hadn't thought to wash the oils off before coming to your stall." Aliyah said attempting to placate the justifiably livid man. Which with her looks, worked.

"W-well, you still got to buy that one." Stammered the now red-faced-Granola-looking-man.

"O-of course!" Sputtered the Naive woman, as she had no idea why this man would back off so quickly.

Luckily for both her, and the Granola-looking-man she was quick enough to shield the precious avocados with her arm from her nasal eruption. Unluckily for the pedestrians to the left and right of her, they weren't. Like the muzzle flash of a WW2 German Tiger, they were pelted with ballistic mucus.

*******

Jackson J. Jamesson was a big nature freak.

"Heey there lil' guy~" --Finally! ~~--

*Nervous Chittering*

2 days after visiting the farmers market he came down with a bad cold, He made sure to quarantine himself in fear of the Coronavirus, Much to his chagrin.

"shh, shh shh-it's okay lil guy~." --Come on, come on.--

*anxious chittering*

So, when he found his Trash cans making noise in his open backyard, he was excited to finally see some wildlife after a week of being cooped up.

*Incoherent screeching*

"Woah! There, man. I'm just tryin to help ya." --Shit! Don’t be mad, don't be mad--

However, Jackson wasn't a very wise nature freak. Since reality isn't some animated fairytale, wild animals typically do NOT like humans singing to them, even MORE so when the human is singing badly.

So, when Jeff made the great idea to creep up to a wild raccoon while talking to it in a sing-songy voice, all the while driving it into a corner. A predictable, but otherwise completely avoidable, event happened.

Jack WASN'T nimble,

Jack WASN'T quick,

Jack tripped over a huge ASS stick,

Raccoon bite,

Raccoon tore,

Jack lay there withOUT his soul.

...And numerous lacerations across his legs and arms. While human "claws" can't exactly pierce hide like raccoon claws can, yeeting the poor lil' bastard into brambles does provide a nice alternative. Though, that doesn't really fit into the rhyme.

Jackson J. Jamesson was no longer a nature freak.

*******

Lord Alexander Andrew Albert, The first of his name, Slayer of beasts, Layer of wenches, and His Majesty's Royal Treasure Hunter, was on a routine scouting mission in the giants' territory one summer's eve. When he spotted a giant's horde had been left unguarded.

Basking in the treasure trove, Lord Alexander perceived the mighty foot fall of one of the giants approaching him. Though he may be an affluent slayer of men, and monster alike, he is aware that sometimes one can negotiate a cease-fire with the colossal two-leggers. Though this Giant was different...

*babbling sing-songy noise*

”Good-day Ser. Care to parley?" --There's no need to fight right?--

Much to his astonishment, the giant drew nearer.

*incoherent Hissing followed by more sing-songy babbling*

"Ser, do not proceed any further."

--He still draws nearer? Fine then!--

"HAVE AT THEE SCOUNDREL!"

The battle was legendary.

Though he managed to down the towering giant with the aid from a surprise lunge, he could not combat the sheer strength of the mighty foe, and was thrown into the clutches of a nearby berry bush.

Managing to recover from the numerous stabbings, and untangling himself from the brambles, Lord Alexander thought he could not see a reason to enter into the fray once more.

"Till we meet again!" Lord Alexander called out.

--Preferably long after I have healed, and you have succumbed to disease--

Instead of a reply he only received an unintelligible groan in response.

--Huh, it might succumb sooner than I had initially predicted. Well, no matter, now I need to tend to my wounds elsewhere--

>>>

Lord Alexander Andrew Albert, The first of his name, Slayer of beasts, Layer of wenches, and His Majesty's Royal Treasure Hunter, fought many more battles in the following several days.

Many uniformed Giants came to detain him using large man-catchers. Many of those same uniformed giants received gouges in their appendages for their efforts. For some inexplicable reason he kept finding himself going out to confront giants in their territory.

20 times the behemoths attempted to ensnare him, and 20 times he made the slip. Unfortunately the 21st strange uniformed giant had a long bang stick that took the life of the Noble man.

A happy ending was not given to Lord Alexander. Put down like a mangy mutt, he did not go quietly into the night. Though many would never know it, he did gain another title before his final slumber...

The Harbinger of the Apocalypse.