I woke up in my bed, covered in sweat. The ceiling fan was spinning slowly and the air conditioner was as noisy as ever. It was my old apartment, and beside me…she was sleeping peacefully. I was afraid of waking her up so I froze and kept staring at her, seeing her luscious black hair. I was lost in that pitch black darkness. Her presence had put me in a trance, and the feeling that had been dead in me for so long had re-emerged.

The feeling to love…I could feel it again; the barren deserts of my heart were once again blooming with flowers. Suddenly, she turned towards me and caught me staring at her. She smiled at me, yawned and started rubbing her eyes. I passed a slight smile and she spoke in a ghastly voice, “We have been waiting for you detective. Finally the Overseer has done it once again!”

The voice sent me in shock! It wasn’t what I was expecting and before I could ask anything to her, everything around me started to fade away…it was all turning into dust and Mary also began vanishing. The voice was back and answered exactly what I had in mind, “We are time and this…is our realm.”

My surrounding changed completely, from my old cozy apartment I was thrown into the cold and bitter darkness of time’s realm. A few seconds later I started to move on my own and stopped at a big hallway. The floor and walls were made of a bright light, the stars and galaxies around me were frozen. Time had stopped everything and only I was moving forward.

It spoke, “We almost thought he would repeat his inevitable end again, but he was smart to finally send you to us. He was nothing but a copy of you. We always wanted you to sort out the imbalance that clever fox created by tapping into our power. Humans... don’t deserve this gift. You are too selfish and emotional to use this power for anything else than to sort out your own past. You will see soon what we have said as we show you glimpses of the Overseer’s attempts.”

The place had an enormous weight; it felt as if the gravity was 1000 times more than that of the Earth. It was tiring to even move a few steps forward. Time had noticed this and said in a mocking tone, “Don’t fret detective, if you cannot move, we shall move you ourselves.” As I heard this, I stopped and the hallway started to move. As it moved, it changed its shape and started to resemble a corridor. I looked at my left and saw my whole life flash before my eyes, all the things I wanted to do but never did.

The left side showed me the things which I had never done, the decisions I never took and the right side…it showed me the decisions that made me what I am today. It was a place where you could see the cause and effect of your decisions. The corridor soon ended and I looked straight ahead. A huge tree like structure made of the same light the hallway was made of stood like a mountain. It had a million branches and I stood in awe as I saw its enormity.

“Enormous, yes it is, but all of it in vain. No results, no future, it all began again. The tree is his life and the branches depict his ends!” It said as I started seeing the things the Overseer had done in his billion attempts. How he cheated Olivia, how he created David and Bill, how he manipulated Reed, all of this just to escape from his fate…the fate handed to him by Mary. I felt sad for him, he truly was a rat in a maze.

“So you enjoyed all of this? Laughing at his misery? How could you be so cruel?” I shouted as I saw the pain he went through. Time was silent, as I expressed my anger and kept looking at the Overseer’s memories. Immediately I saw a memory in which the Overseer was talking with Time.

In the memory he was arguing with Time, insisting that he can make things right. He saw his attempts and his failure but he still wanted to find a way out on his own.

He was desperate but he still had hope that he would be able to find a way out.

“As you can see, all the suffering he put everyone through could have been avoided if he gave his selfish goals up and sent you here in the first place.”

Time was right, but it could not understand what emotions are…to be told that you are useless and have no future, to be told you are a copy of someone who exists in some other world…it kills a person. I saw it in his eyes every time he restarted the cycle, his pain and his will to prove that he was worth something. Sometimes, it doesn’t matter if you win or lose, all that matters is that you put up a fight and tried everything you could.

Suddenly, my surroundings changed again and now the tree was gone. In front of me I saw a portal, looking at the streets I figured out that it was my world. The place where it all began, Time shouted at me, “And now it is your turn…you have mistakes to fix…we are watching, remember the last words of that woman?” Mary’s voice echoed my ears, “Give our void existence some purpose…Goodbye Detective!”

As soon as her voice faded away, I was being pushed towards the portal, No! It was too soon…I had so many questions…so many doubts…what was I going to do? How was I going to fix our lives? I shouted, “How do I fix it?” but all I could hear in return was the ghastly laugh of Time.

It felt unreal; after all that I had been through in the last few months…I was here again, my world. No Anna, David or Bill…no existence of Reed or time travel. My heart beat was elevated; I could hear heavy thumps in my ears. It was my world but what was the date…what was the year? Where do I start, how do I change the outcomes…how do I save Mary from the accident? This is exactly how he would have felt…the Overseer when he first started the loop.

In my thoughts I had forgotten to take in my surroundings. I was in an alley where a homeless man slept peacefully, I saw my face in the mirror and realized something, “I can’t be seen like this…it would complicate things even more.” I stole a black hoodie from the homeless man and concealed myself.

As I went on to the street I stopped a man and asked him the date, he looked at me with concern and replied, “It’s 11th December.” I looked at him with wide open eyes and asked, “What year…what is the year?” he sensed the desperation in my voice and answered, “It’s 2008 and it’s half past seven you fucking junkie!”

His words sent me in shock and my feet started to tremble. A cold chill ran down my spine, “She…she dies tomorrow! I don’t have time!”

I had no money and I couldn’t ask anyone I knew for help…I was a stranger in my own world…someone who doesn’t belong…A void! But I had to try…I had to save her, I had to make sure the cycle never starts. I was far away from my apartment, the place where it all began, the event which crippled me and changed the fate of so many other worlds.

I decided to move on foot, I was at the outskirts of Hawkesbay and the apartment was a long way from where I stood. I had no plan on what I had to do to stop it all from happening again. The enhancer was useless too, it wasn’t working and why would it be working, time travel did not exist yet. Even if it was working I did not know how to use the damn thing.

I headed straight towards Hawkesbay, with no sense of the world around me I kept walking and walking, looking at the setting sun in front of my eyes I started running…I kept running and running till my feet gave up and my heart felt as if it would burst. Feeling my desperation I broke down and started to cry, “Please, let me save her…please!”

A few moments of silence had given me the time to gather up some courage and move on. A few minutes later I saw the highway that led to Hawkesbay city, I saw the sign board which read, “Hawkesbay 50km” I ignored the 50km and decided to keep moving on foot.

The sun had set and soon the stars had emerged in the sky, a hundred steps later I found the board and it read, “Hawkesbay 45km” I was in shock, I had walked for so long and still covered only 5km. I was tired and sad, this is not how it ends!

Suddenly I heard a car approaching from behind, I stuck out my thumb and prayed that the driver would stop and give me a ride. It was a van and the driver sped past me. “Fuck!” I screamed but the van stopped a few feet away from me. I quickly ran towards the van and opened the door.

An old man greeted me with a smile, “Hello mister! It’s awfully late to be walking on the road, where you heading to?” he asked politely. “I’m heading to Hawkesbay, I’m in a lot of trouble, would you kindly take me there?” I asked.

The old man smiled and said, “Well, today must be your lucky day, because I am headed to Hawkesbay to see my daughter. Come on hop in, here’s a beer you must be thirsty from all the walking!”

I hopped in but refused the beer, I needed to be sober, and I couldn’t let my drinking habit fuck my life up once again. The old man introduced himself, “My name is Gustavo, but you can call me Gus. My daughter works as a nurse at a big hospital in Hawkesbay!” Gus was a good guy and he tried to get something out of me as well but all I gave him was a fake name and a sick mother as an excuse to my urgency.

I looked at the digital clock in the car and it read 10:50 P.M. and we were still 25km away from Hawkesbay. Gus was driving just like an old man would, needle between 60 and 70 all the way, with each passing minute I was getting more and more restless. Gus decided to stop at a gas station to get something to eat, he offered me to eat with him but I declined.

I sat in the van looking at him as he ate slowly and it was at this moment my patience had run out. I went inside the diner and took his keys from the table. I looked him in the eyes and said, “I’m sorry Gus!” and ran out as quickly as I could while Gus kept screaming, “Thief, get him, he’s stealing my car!”

I started the van and put my foot on the gas, not even once caring of the crime I had just committed. I looked at the speedometer and the needle was constant at 140, I was still restless but at least now I was moving quicker than before.

I kept my eyes on the highway boards and soon I read, “Hawkesbay 10km” come on let me get there in time! Soon I entered Hawkesbay and was on the way to my apartment, the clock was reading 11:45 P.M. Did I have enough time? Was I going to save her? I didn’t know for sure but I had to keep pushing on to my apartment.

I reached near my apartment and saw myself drunk on the road, looking at the balcony of my apartment. I was late, but I still had time to do something, I held the steering wheel tightly and out of nowhere, I thought of something crazy, “It all starts when Mary dies, so why don’t I run myself over, if there is no me here, there is no Overseer as well.” So I made up my mind and slammed my foot on the gas.

I was going way over the speed limit but I didn’t give a shit. In front of me, my old self was tumbling like a drunken maniac. I was going to kill myself to stop the time loop! A few moments later, when I was just a few feet away from crushing myself under the van; Mary came running towards Issac.

Suddenly an uneasy feeling gripped me, as I moved rapidly towards my old self. Time had slowed down and I could see clearly what was happening. In front of me, Mary was helping Issac to get up and looking at me speeding towards him. She had eyes full of fear as the van came closer and closer. In a flash she pushed Issac away and stood in front of the van herself. My mind was numb, the stolen van, the driver who was never found…it was…it was me! I killed her…I started this mess…I…I am…not the savior!

I saw with watery eyes as the van hit her, and then it crashed into the store. The airbags came out and stopped me from flying out of the van. I was stunned but had only one thing on my mind…Mary…I…No! I got out of the van and hit the ground. My head was hurting and my vision was blurred. I stood up and shook my head, a few moments later my vision was normal and I saw her lying on the ground. I rushed to her and saw her eyes wide open, blood coming out of her mouth and tears flowing down her cheeks.

I took her in my arms and cried, “No…no…no please! Please Mary don’t die…please! I…I can’t lose you again!” She looked at me and whispered, “Please…see if my husband is hurt…save him!” for the second time my heart was torn and I couldn’t stop it, I was my own assailant and the victim.

Her heart stopped after a few moments and her hands went cold too. I cried like a maniac, I screamed but it was of no use. I felt my vision getting distorted and then looked at my hands as they slowly started to disintegrate. I looked at her and said, “No! This can’t be…or is it…is this how it all started…is this the End?”