《Save Me (GL)》I'm Sorry
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Change of P.O.V: Sam:
"... Hello dad.." I said in a hoarse voice and on the brink of tears.
My heart was beating fast, my body was shaking and I could barely hold myself from just hanging up or throwing the phone away and breaking out into tears. I was afraid of what was coming next and what he was going to say.
".. Hi Sammy.." He said gently, his voice just as hoarse and clearly trying his best to keep it under control.
I broke into tears at that moment. Hearing his voice again, and not feeling any trace of hate, anger or blame, I just started crying.
"I'm sorry dad. I'm sorry, sorry for leaving, sorry for not listening to you, sorry for not getting in contact all those years. I'm sorry.. Really really sorry... For everything.." I exploded while I cried.
All that was inside me, all that I felt, it all came out exploding. I just cried and I couldn't stop at all.
"Sammy, Sammy, baby it's alright, don't be sorry you did nothing wrong, it's alright baby, it's alright..." Dad tried to comfort me while I was crying and while he was sniffing.
After trying real hard and for a while, dad was finally able to get me to calm down, and by that time he too was a lot better.
"Sammy.. I'm.. I'm sorry.." He started.
"Dad what.." I tried to talk but he stopped me:
"No, just let me speak.. I need to get this out of my system... I'm sorry Sammy, I shouldn't have reacted how I did at that time... I shouldn't have just treated you as I did... Many times over those years that passed... I would just think about how it would have all ended if I didn't react how I did... If I tried to listen.. To understand how you were feeling... Non of all of this would have happened... I would have been there for you, as a father and I would have been close to you and been able to see what was really happening... To see If anything was wrong...
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"Yet, none of that happened... I didn't accept you, I didn't try to understand you, I wasn't there for you and I wasn't of any help at all... So I'm sorry baby... I hope you forgive me.." Dad's voice was cracking at the end and it appeared as if it took him all that he had not to cry on the phone right then and there.
"Dad.." I said between tears, "You don't have to be sorry... I also made some mistakes... A lot of what happened was on me... So please forgive me.."
"There's no need for asking forgiveness baby, I never blamed you nor did your mom.."
I cried a bit more and after I was calmed down by my father he asked:
"So Sammy that... That girl.. That Brittney.. Is she still with you?" It was clear that he was hesitating.
"No... I left her a few days ago..." I answered softly.
"Good, good.. And you? Are you alright? There's nothing wrong with you? Where are you staying right now?" He asked worriedly
"No I'm alright, I'm staying at a friend's house right now."
"Was she the one who called?"
"Yeah, her name is Judy, she's my best friend..." I said while looking at Judy who had been next to me this whole time and never left my side.
It was only then that I realized that she had been holding my free hand this whole time. I squeezed her hand a bit while giving her a reassuring nod.
"Good, having a friend in a time like this is great.. What about now then? What will you do for the time being?" He asked me hesitatingly.
"I... I called you because of that.." I said, and with that, my heart and feelings that calmed down a bit started moving going crazy again.
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"Yeah..?"
"Can.. Can I return home?" I finally said it out loud.
".. Yes.. Of course you can.." My dad said while crying.
After that I talked with my dad for a bit before finally hanging up, I also promised that I would call later after my mom returned home so I can talk to her as she wasn't there at that moment.
I finally put the phone done and took a deep breath after saying goodbye for the nth time and giving him my phone number, before breaking out into tears once again.
Except that this time they were tears of relief, I felt so light and free and carefree, and I couldn't stop myself from crying while smiling.
I suddenly felt a pair of arms pulling me close while I was like this, I didn't resist it, instead, I leaned into the now-familiar embrace and felt the warmth and security.
"We need to call the manager then." As I was still lost in the comfortable embrace, I heard Judy's soft voice next to my ears.
"Yeah.. I think I'll go home in the next couple of days.."
Even though I was really happy that it all went well and that my dad and family were still accepting of me, and I felt as if a huge weight was lifted from my shoulders, I still felt a bit sad about not living with Judy anymore.
It was quite a weird feeling, and it seemed as if Judy felt the same because all she said was a 'Hmm..' And just continued hugging me.
A bit after that and I called the manager and told her that I can go home at any time in the next week and that I would like to take a week off.
Usually, we don't take that long of a vacation, but the manager would give it to us if we had good reasons for that, and she did accept this time.
She told me that she will call me back when she gets a part-timer to hold my position for a few days.
We usually don't accept them and just make do with the workers on the other shifts, but when a long vacation like this is taken, the manager would try to find someone to take our place for the time we are away.
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