《Save Me (GL)》Change

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Sam's P.O.V:

'How did it come to that...? How did I even ask that question?... Just... Just what was wrong with me today?' While leaving Judy behind me I asked myself those questions.

That day turned me into a mess, since the beginning of the day, after I went against Brittney's wish to stop working at the jewellery shop, I felt as if something was changing, and I knew the reason for that.

Having Judy by my side made me think about many things, and remember many feelings, it was like I was coming back to life again.

I liked that, the feelings that I almost forgot, the happiness of having someone to talk to and who would help you no matter what was so sweet and fascinating...

But that wasn't all, there also appeared new feelings and thoughts, ones I didn't think about before... Or at least since a long time ago.

And it was those feelings and thoughts which made me go against Brittney that morning.

It was as if something inside me was getting undone...

It was there first thing in the morning, the change... But it was small and hard to notice... But all that happened in the morning with Brittney only made it stronger.

The hug Judy gave me when I got to the shop, her asking about how I was and if anything happened the night before and of course Alex's conversation... All of those made me notice some things... Which I didn't want to.

Especially what Alex said...

I saw that before she came to me, she was talking to Judy, Alex is always a happy go lucky girl, so I didn't find it that weird when she called me to talk, yet what she said had a tremendous impact on me...

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For some reason, her words 'Life isn't a fairy tale, sometimes there's no happy ever after, sometimes your story with someone must stop at some point, and you have to start another one with someone else.' Hit me so hard.

I couldn't stop myself from thinking about them, repeating them, and linking them with my life...

It was at that moment that I panicked, Alex left me and went out, but I still didn't leave my shocked state, I felt... I felt fear... What she said then was going straight against my beliefs.

Brittney was my first love, my first girlfriend, I loved her so much, so even after... After she found fault with what I did... I only tried my best to be the perfect girlfriend for her, putting her before me in everything... That's how I lived for a long time, and I didn't find anything wrong with that, she was my girlfriend after all.

I felt since the beginning that I had to make it work, I didn't want my first relationship to go downhill, I had to show my family that I made the right choice.

But Alex's words destroyed that belief, her family didn't accept her, and she still left them and went to be with her girlfriend, but even after that, they separated...

That along with all that had happened before and in that day, put me in an unstable state...

I didn't want that to go on anymore, I felt so worried, panicked and uncertain.

I wanted to talk to someone about it, Brittney was the person which I should have talked to about that, but I couldn't even bring myself to talk to her about it... I just knew that it wouldn't end up well...

There was also Alex, who just talked to me about asking her if I needed anything, and who was in a relationship before and seemed more experienced than me in that regard.

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She was a good candidate, but she wasn't the one I thought about...

Instead, it was Judy who came to my mind, she was the only one I wanted to talk to about that too.

So while leaving work I asked her if she wanted to walk around a bit.

Judy's face lit up with the brightest smile I ever saw on her face, she even laughed happily, seeming as if she was going to start jumping around joyously.

Seeing her liked that I couldn't help but show a smile, she was just so cute sometimes...

Then I thought about why was she so happy...

I know that it was because I usually would never have asked that question to her.

I would never have gone against what Brittney wanted... And then I felt it again... That weird feeling... That unpleasant feeling... That I was...

After following Judy to a park we talked while walking for a while, I was the person asking most of the questions through.

I avoided the one I wanted to ask the most as I kept on asking about her.

She answered truthfully, and for some reason the more I asked, the more I wanted to know about her...

Things went like that for a while till finally, my phone rang.

When it did, both of us froze, I could feel it, Judy next to me became like a statue, she just stood in her place and didn't move an inch...

Many thoughts went through my mind, and my heartbeat got faster, along with worry and fear... So with those feelings in my heart, I held my phone tightly and answered...

Even though I had all those feelings go through me, for some reason, I didn't show any of that in my voice, my voice did tremble a bit, but that was it.

I told Brittney that I was with Judy in a park, as you would expect she didn't take it well, she didn't raise her voice, but I was able to hear from her tone a suppressed rage.

There was also a hint of a weird tone in her voice...

I ended the call after that, something I hadn't done in a long time and it happened with Brittney's shouting voice sounding from the phone.

Hanging up gave me such an uncommon feeling, it was weird and somehow scary... But I also felt a sense of... Of freedom, one I hadn't felt in ages.

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