It has been over two months since I’ve written on this diary, and I’ve reached the same conclusion I reached before. I am not needed in this world and my departure won’t affect it in the slightest. Staying here doesn’t amount to much either, so I am free to choose either option.

I have realized that staying in this world for any longer only brings me suffering unless I stay inside a small bubble where no bad news come in, but even then, I am in a depressing state which doesn’t help me want to stay alive.

I could just kill me off right here, with a spell, its as easy as killing an enemy, perhaps a bit harder mentally, but it doesn’t require to go against your instincts, like trying to choke yourself. Once the spell was cast it was a separate entity from yourself, even if you had some control over its behavior, it’d listen to its last order, even if it’d kill the one who cast it.

But that’d be meaningless, not that I expected my death to have much meaning. But I could try, for the last time, to give a lesson to everyone still alive to stop this madness before it was too late. And this is what I spent most of the last forty days thinking about.

How could I make it known and have an effect on the world? It was clear that simply hanging myself or something like that within my room wouldn’t do much other than some propaganda within my country that my enemies had killed me and they had to take revenge or something of the sort to reignite the rage against the enemies of the officials that had died down a bit due to the large life loss of the last large-scale battle.

Magic was probably going to be needed do have a large effect on the world, but even if I made a huge explosion, it’d be quite meaningless, not achieving the desired effect and also, I didn’t want to damage the world anymore.

I could do some sort of firework or writing, but it could be easily covered by the authorities if they so wished, and my messages weren’t exactly pro-religions or pro-dictatorship. How could I get to everyone at the same time? It’d be hard, but I had managed to theorize a spell which let me communicate with everyone in the world at the same time.

It’d take time, a lot of resources and much preparation, but it was all to do my final change in the world. It’d be worth it. I hope. I don’t know. If you’re reading this, you already know whether my spell has worked or not and what an effect it had in the world. I for one, can only rest in peace for eternity, as I have long wished for.

I was moving a lot of resources to an undisclosed location, though I was sure that not only my enemies, also the ones giving me the resources were spying on me. Knowing where I was, was mostly useless, though because I was safely secluded inside a large cave with many tunnels and many “dead” ends where I put fake laboratories in order to confuse anyone observing me, but it might have been more trouble than what it was worth, as it did take time, building everything by myself, even if I had multiple golems at my command.

It was so mentally straining, that I couldn’t focus on myself, so I was sitting on a sofa while I controlled around ten different golems that were somewhat different, so I gave them different tasks. Some did the heavy lifting while others were better at precise movements and helped with the details of the construction.

But as all the fake laboratories and the main one was nearing its end, I had to start working on my main objective, the large spell to communicate with everyone in the world. It’d just communicate me with a large group of animals and other organisms I had obtained with which I would try to communicate at once. If I managed to do this, then I had a chance to achieve my final objective, but if I failed at this “simple” task, there was no way I could… Never mind that, I need to progress and the only way I can do so is by creating.

It has been two weeks since I last wrote in this biography, and I have managed to communicate with an animal. I’m almost sure that it didn’t understand me, but if it could open many doors. If anyone found my research done here, it could deal a lot of damage, because the large animal kingdom which had been mostly neutral all over the war could now be forced/convinced to fight for one side easily.

Yes, some people had already mind controlled a few animals, but it took a lot of effort to do so and my way to communicate to an animal only required my own mana and a spell I had created. Though it wasn’t perfect yet, that’s for sure.

I have spent the last five days trying to communicate with any animal and none of them understands me, even after some translating device I have built up. But all of this was a time loss because I wasn’t really interested in communicating with animals, it was with other people that could also talk and understand the language I was speaking.

So, I went to the laboratory I had created, and I realized that the government had already inserted some of their own “scientists”. I took one of the people I had selected and took him to my new laboratory without explaining anything. He went through some simple health and security checks before I told him what I was attempting on doing. Without the suicide part and all of that, of course. He agreed to help me, thankfully.

The last three months have been extremely successful. After taking that first scientist in, I could finally prove that my spell did indeed work and my message was heard loud and clear. Through our work we managed to control the loudness of what I said and also approximate how much time the spell took to travel from one side of the mountain to the other.

Seeing how efficient we were being, I decided to bring a few extra fellow scientists as well, with which we tested if there was a problem when communicating towards multiple directions, but it didn’t prove to be a difficulty, at least within the limited range we were testing it on. We did, however, prove that the spells moved at different speeds depending on its environment. Through air it moves slower than through stone. We went through a tangent for a few days, testing different materials and the denser they were, the faster the spells traveled through them.

But back to the main spell I was working on. We had only managed to test it up to distances of over ten kilometers, but the continent was over a thousand times larger, so we had to do something else to test the spell but testing it over large distances was a no-go because others would listen on our conversation and soon our work would be captured and taken from us.

What we could do, however, is show that it works further and further the more mana we put into the spell and calculate the returns. As expected, they were diminishing, following something similar to a square root function, so as to get two times the distance we needed four times the energy.

To minimize our efforts, we would need to be located at the center of the continent but even then, it’d take a huge amount of mana to create a spell that would reach everyone and even then, we’d need to keep this energy level for a while until the whole message was broadcast.

It would be impossible to convince my government to give me the resources needed, as the mana storage stones were being used in almost all equipment, we created… which game me an idea. The scar of the continent that I had created had been filled with dead bodies, but most importantly, full of equipment. I had observed that our enemies also used mana crystals in order to store energy for future spell usages.

We moved our laboratory to an underground location near the scar of the continent and retrieved the mana stones of the equipment little by little. I was surprised to see that most of the stones were still there but saw that they were cracked or partially damaged.

It wasn’t a problem for us as we would smelt them all and turn them into a few large mana stones that would last for a minute each, hopefully, and would help make the message reach the whole continent. But the main problem I had now was… that I didn’t have the message ready.