The head of the sadness shelter was sweating to a suspicious amount, and not because of the thick church uniform she wore.

“It is worse than I thought.” Sophia murmured to herself, her finger anxiously tapped the Stalus Gorbach had given her repeatedly as she waited for the old woman in front of her to continue.

“As I had said earlier, mi…” She explained but stuttered as if did not know what to call Sophia “The main problem is that the distributioners give us rations according to the numbers of orphans we write to them. But they only recheck the number once a year and orphans are always on the increases, so we never had enough food to feed them all.”

“I see” Sophia replied, a little too dismissive than she expected. As she was wondering how hard could it be to use the citizen’s database to count the numbers of orphans without the head of the shelter’s help.

‘Look with your head, not with your eyes.’ A thought went through her mind, it was something she liked to tell Lana back when they were still together. The saying essentially said that not to just see, but think of what you see, so she did.

The old lady in charge of the shelter was undeniably fat, though Sophia could chalk it up to her holding a high enough position that she could feed herself better, from what she could see, most of the caretakers were not really in the best of shape…

She sighed under her breath, voicing her concern at this point of time would not be a good idea, as she only had Teera with her, not to mention the accusation would likely be considered baseless, for it only came from her suspicion and her suspicion alone. So she decided to hold her own tongue and made a mental note to speak with Gorbach later about it.

Sophia took a quick glance behind the lady she was conversing with to see the orphanage behind. The sadness shelter, if anything, lived up to its name, the three stories building was constructed from uncolored concrete, giving it a somewhat miserable atmosphere, and the walls were very much windowless for some reason. Peeking out from the front door were several orphans, their faces dirtied, their body thin, and their clothes ragged. Sophia had remembered her parent’s neighbors in the street of slum once suggested them to give one of their children to the shelter so they might be able to feed the rest properly. Looking back, she was glad that her parents had not made that choice, as Sophia could not bear the thought of either of her siblings living in such a place such as this.

Overshadowed the orphanage was the great church of fate, its grandness and size gave an odd contrast to the bleak sadness shelter next to it. The elegant shape, the stained glasses, and the ornate gold outlay on the walls made it the greatest site in the entire area. Sophia could hear the daily prayer the priests and priestesses of fate were hosting for the people who attend the church, half a song, and half an annoyance. Atop the church of unnecessary spending was the golden symbol of the faith, literally, for it was a shining and ornate star and circle made of solid gold, stuck on the very top of the central and highest tower, with only the bell tower of the last stronghold being taller in the entire city.

“Well, I will be leaving right now.” Sophia decided, tucking the Stalus into her bag “I will take everything you said today and bring it up with the supreme leader...”

The head of the sadness shelter seemed to take it a wrong way and started to sweat even more than earlier “P…please, gi…don't…”

Sophia made a sound that resembled her lungs collapsing “Let’s just go, Teera.”

The royal guard standing behind her nodded, and they left the overweight lady behind.

Anxiousness turned to frustration as Sophia walked through the twisting alley of the high common district, where the above-average commoners would buy their house. A few of them peeked out from their house, giving quite a queer look at her, but Sophia was used to it by now, even though these stares were more of curiosity than disgusted. She didn’t know what to make of herself, to be honest, a common-looking girl cladded in noble’s finery walking through the street with a royal guard on her tail.

‘I am a noble in all but name.’ Sophia had realized after sometime after she moved into the Last Stronghold ‘But I will not become the like them.’

Still, it was very hard to keep the mindset when she dined on a well-made meal every night and the fine clothing Gorbach had given her filled the closet in her room. Hell, she was starting to speak like them the more day passed.

“We can catch the railroad at Faith tower for the ride back,” Teera suggested suddenly, breaking Sophia line of thought.

She glanced to her left, the last stronghold wasn’t really that far “Why can’t we just walk? If we take the train, we will have to circle around the entire city before we can drop off at Noble tower.”

“Aye” She agreed “But it will be much safer, milady.”

“Sophia” She corrected her “And can you told me by what logic does taking a train full of people is safer than walking through a street full of people.”

“I had studied the statistic in the guard’s training,” Teera explained casually.

Sophia sighed “Fine, the railroad it is.”

They turned at the next corner for the nearest tower, and Sophia gave a quick glance at the guard following closely behind her. The day after she meets Gorbach, he had to assign Teera to her as a personal guard. She was a nice person, caring yet dutiful, and had been acting as her protector/caretaker ever since. But she could be too strict at time, to Sophia disliking.

‘And she kept calling me that milady and treat me all highly too.’ She continued thinking, as what Teera was doing didn’t exactly help her holding up the image of not being a noble.

“Mila…Sophia?” Teera tried to call her, “Can I have your attention?”

Sophia pulled herself back to reality “Y…Yes?”

“Please take a seat, we are at the train.”

Sophia glanced around, half frantically; they were in fact, in the railroad and above the city below. She awkwardly took a seat next to the entrance, seeing that, Teera took the one next to her, and slung her solar gun off her back and placed it into her lap, for her protector liked to be cautious in a crowded place.

As the train started to move from the faith tower, Sophia peeped out from the window behind her, as a way to distract herself. Her constant thinking maybe her strong point, she knew, but it might as well be her woe too. She would need to pay more attention while leaving into deep thought next time.

It was not long until the train circled to stop at the desolated tower. And when the passengers left for the poorer part of the city, a very small part of Sophia wanted to join them.

Since the street incident, Sophia had never gone back to visit her parent’s home. Gorbach said that he had sent a servant to explain her family about the situation, but she still half-wanted to speak with them herself.

‘But what would I say?’ Sophia asked herself for the hundredth time ‘‘Sorry mom and dad, I will be living in the Last Stronghold from now on, and I also will be whispering suggestions into the supreme leader’s ear as my work, so you don’t have to pray for me in the picking next year.’’

Sophia wasn’t ready to face her family, or at least what left of them just as yet. But the reason why did not come to her, was she still angry at her parent’s about Lana? Was she ashamed for leaving them behind to live in the Last Stronghold? Or was she felt guilty for not bothering to see them for more than a week? She could not say, maybe it was a little bit of all three, or maybe it was even something else she hadn’t realized yet.

Nonetheless, it was too late now, for the railroad’s door had closed and the vehicle started to move again.

‘Next time’ she promised herself, wondering if she would be able to keep it when the next opportunity came.

The city raised and lowered as the train continued through its path, going passed tower after tower reminded her of a rhyme she was taught when she’s still a young and gullible child.

“…River, Desolated, Bleak, Leader, Commercial, Authority, Crushing, Noble…” She murmured a part of it, though it didn’t really rhyme, it helped people remembered the tower’s name, half of them depressing as hell.

‘This is the last time I will listen to Teera.’ Sophia thought the sadness shelter was only about a ten-minute walk from the gate castle, though it was a little bit faster riding the railroad and taking a gigantic detour in the process, she never liked being in a train full of people for a long period of time. Not to mention, it felt even worse somehow wearing a gown she barely able to walk in, with a guard in a white and gold armor sitting next to her.

‘Seriously?’ Sophia clicked her tongue as the train made a sudden stop at the crushing tower, and the execution pit in all of its executing glory was in plain view to her. But what surprised her was the fact that she barely felt anything, but a small sharp pain in her chest.

“Why did I feel so little?” She asked herself, this place was supposed to represent the injustice that torn Lana away from her, and the pain of just the thought of it had hurt her gravely for much restless night, but why did she felt…nearly nothing now?

“Are you alright?” Teera asked, noticing the distress plain in her face.

“N…nothing” Sophia replied weakly, still perplexed on what she was feeling, or lack thereof.

‘Lana’s…the pain felt like it was every day to me.’ Sophia thought, as the railroad started to move again ‘But now… it felt like it happens so long ago.’

Sophia tried to form the image of Lana back into her head. Bt it was useless, though her sister’s face was still as clear as day, it was too hard to form the pain again.

Sophia remembered that Gorbach once offered to have a team of scavengers dug up Lana’s body from the pit, so they could give her a proper burial. But she didn’t take it, for she knew that it would be a waste of everyone’s time, and the only thing it could hope to achieve was just giving her mind a needless closure.

‘I still care about you, sister.’ Sophia thought, her mind filled with despair, knowing that it had to be true ‘But wounds heal, and scars fade.’

The rest of the ride was uneventful, as to say, she was not plagued with any more traumatic emotions. It was not long till the train stopped at their destination and Teera and Sophia made their way down the noble tower.

“Who goes there!?” The royal guard posted on the gate castle shouted when they approached the gate castle.

“Teera, of the royal guards.” She replied, cupping her mouth so her voice could be heard “Escorting lady Sophia back to the Last Stronghold.”

Though the guards posted in the castle was far away, Sophia could hear them whispering ‘The leader’s pet’ as they raised the portcullis to let them through. She was used to it by now, of course, the noble’s nickname they made up for her had spread to everyone in the castle by this point of time and it was what they called her behind their back for a while.

“You can leave me now, Teera.” Sophia told her when they entered the front garden, which was still pointlessly beautiful as ever. Though Gorbach had commanded her to be with Sophia at all times, the only attack the Last Stronghold could frankly provide were weak verbal abuses, which Sophia was used to by now.

“As you wish” She bowed and left, presumably for the royal barrack, where she would presumably be dozing off in her cell.

When Teera went out of her sight, Sophia dug a handful of water from the carved fountain and splashed the liquid on her face to regain composure and to scrub her face to remove any dirtiness on it. A noblewoman walked passed Sophia and gave a disgusted look. Sophia ignored her and wiped the water on the skirt of her beautiful and delicate blue gown.

‘I think I just gonna go back to my room and rolling around on the bed for the rest of the day.’ Sophia decided, only being exposed to the toxic noble atmosphere for a few minutes and already sicken by it. She half-walked half-dashed for her one of the few safe spaces she had in this thrice-damned stronghold. Rushing passed a pair of royal guards and a few servants; she grabbed for her door and swung it open…

…and Gorbach was inside.

He raised his head from the book in his hand so his eyes could meet hers “Oh hi, Sophia.”

“What are you doing in my room?” She asked the supreme leader.

“What? It was my room.” He refuted and closed his book with one hand “I was just revisiting my old stuff, that’s all.”

“Ah-huh” Sophia muttered with slight disbelief as Gorbach rose from her bed and went to search the bookshelf. Sophia closed the door and eyed what the supreme leader was wearing. Out of his usual dark trench coat, he looked like a completely different person in a simple green jacket, white t-shirt, and jean, the only thing that could tell who he truly was was his gold pin, which he wasn’t even wearing, but instead slung across his neck with a metal chain like a necklace of some sort.

‘A commoner girl in a noble’s cloth and a supreme leader in a commoner’s.’ she thought, half-amused, half-uncomfortable.

Gorbach pulled a book off the shelf and took a look at its cover “I have heard that you went to see the orphanage today.”

Sophia raised her eyebrow “How did you know?”

A hint of a smile formed on his lip “Surely you did not wish me to reveal the entirelity of my complex and ever-growing spy network.”

Sophia shook her head; she had a feeling that it was in fact Teera who reported on her “I was going there for research, so maybe you can model your new policy using it as an outline.”

He nodded his eyes not off the book in his hand “And what did you learn?”

“Well, one thing I learn is that you should rename the place, ‘sadness shelter’ isn’t a place where you grow into a productive citizen for your city.”

“I will see to that, what else?”

Sophia sighed “The rations system the orphanage had is astonishingly outdated, and I had a sneaky suspicion that the priestesses who take care of the place are stealing some or most of the food for themselves.”

He nodded again, but with less enthusiasm “I never think being the supreme leader is easy, but it just felt like every time I try to solve a problem, six more came up out of fucking nowhere.”

He then pulled out a few more books from the shelf and proceeded to lie on the floor and turned over the pages.

Sophia dropped her behind onto her bed as Gorbach continued his reading “Then shouldn’t you be…ruling, right now?”

He closed his book again, but in a mild annoyance this time “Being a supreme leader didn’t mean that I had to be overseeing the city in all of my waking moment, Sophia. I actually like to have time for myself, believe it or not. Be glad that I entertain myself by reading a book, not watching feral dogs fighting an unarmed 12 years old.”

Sophia nodded grimly; there was actually a supreme leader who once did just that. She climbed onto her bed and peeped over his shoulder “Why do you like this sort of thing, anyway?”

“Asked the girl who coup up in the archives half the time she stayed here.” Gorbach retorted, his eyes returned to the book in his hand.

“It’s different, what I’m reading is history, what you’re reading…” Sophia stopped for a moment, she had peaked into a few of them a few days ago “…is make-believe.”

“It is said that a reader lives a thousand lives before he dies” He replied, with a strange calmness in his voice “But someone who never reads lives only one.”

Sophia raised her eyebrows, what he said was a little bit too poetic “Where did you quote that from?”

“A book,” He said and pushed himself off the floor “The white one with a lizard coin on the cover, if I remember correctly, you should give it's series a try.”

“I might” Sophia decided and gave the supreme leader a passive-aggressive glance “If you leave my room.”

“Fine” Gorbach muttered and scooped up the books he had pulled out “See you on the morrow then.”

When Gorbach finally left her room, Sophia took a deep breath and decided to settle down for a short nap. She threw a silk blanket over her body and closed her eyes, starting to drift into sleep…

After a few hours, she woke up from a nightmare, sweaty and filled with fear. She grabbed hold of her hands, and it was shaking frantically the way she never saw before. The image of the last moment of her dream still lingered in her eyes. It was Lana, naked and bloodied, reaching out for her, screaming, begging for help, with thousands of corpse dragging her down, trying to bury her little sister in a pile of flesh and rot.

But the problem was that she didn’t feel any sadness for her dead sister, only disgust, dread and fear. And she was sickened for feeling that way.

Sophia went for the window to throw the curtains opened, to let the moonlight lit up the room. ‘I suppose there is no dinner for me now.’ She thought though she doubted that she would even have a stomach for it.

Sophia turned to the room's desk, slumping lifelessly on top of the smoothly cut wood was Lana's doll, still dirtied and ragged. She strode there and took hold of it, so the doll was right over her chest, in an effort to calm her nerve.

"Lana..." She whispered the fear in her heart shifted to loneliness, wishing for her little sister to be with her once again. Late she noticed that its left arm had a small tear on it, and wondered whether to have it fix or let it stayed that way, for the sake of preserving the memory.

'I wouldn't be able to go back to sleep now.' She realized and decided to go for a breath of fresh air. She went to the closet and threw it open; in it was many sets of gowns Gorbach had given her slung over the beam. The courtesan's dress was also there, tugged in the deepest part of the closet, her old cloth folded in the back. She moved the jean away and threw the blue hoodie on her head, over the gown she was already wearing.

Sophia glanced at the bookshelf after she closed the closet's door 'Maybe I will give it a try.'

She tugged the doll into the hoodie’s pocket and picked out the book that caught her eyes first. She tried to tug it into her pocket too, but it would not fit, so she dumped the content of her bag on the bed, put the book in and slung it over her shoulder. And she went for the balcony.

Sophia tried to steady her breath, threw off her shoes, and climbed up the side of the railing. She dug her bare feet into the uneven surface of the wall and started climbing the Last Stronghold.

As she pulled herself up slowly step by step, trying not to get her feet stuck on the stupid gown she wore, she remembered that it was a neighbor of her family in the street of slum that taught her the set of skills. And if she also recalled correctly, that person was executed a few months later for breaking into a storehouse to steal something. Regardless, Sophia had learned how to climb, and she passed it down to Lana a few years later.

Sophia continued her ascend, careful at every change of holding, as this wall was on a very different scales from what she used to climb, the room Gorbach had given her was near the top floor of the castle, so a fall would mean her death, no doubt about that, and she did not fancy being discovered as a puddle of blood on the front garden the following day.

After many lifted and shifted on the old and uneven stone bricks that made up the outer wall of Last Stronghold, she finally reached her destination. It was a place where the pavement came to a sudden stopped into a flat surface of the stone, making it a small platform she could be on and had a beautiful sight of the city below. She had laid a coarse blanket over the floor so it wouldn't hurt when came into contact with the stone. Dropping herself onto the floor of fabric and stone, the feeling of it reminded her of the room she had back home, which she shared with Ren and Lana. She had always wanted to have a place to sleep of her own, back when her sister was alive, but now that she did, she missed being in a small cupboard she called a room, with Lana snoring softly by her side.

She threw the bag on the floor, and pulled out a Stalus to activate its lighting ability; its top opened up and gave a dim shine from its built-in lantern.

'Using greatly advance technology as a glorified flashlight.' Sophia thought, half-amused as she lay down and brought out the book she took from Gorbach’s bookshelf. Flipping over its ugly blue cover and started reading.

When she read passed a few chapters, Sophia found herself lost focus on the book. So she put it under her head, using it as a hard made-shift pillow to watch the night sky. The crescent moon smiled down from above as if to mock her, the stars around it shone bright, the many in the sky, and the one atop the church of faith.

Her gaze shifted to the pointlessly grand church, where she could still hear the prayers from this far away if she concentrated. The religion of fate was something of importance for the city, a source of hope in the seemingly hopeless world and a beacon of light for the people in their darkest time…

Sophia had, from a very young age, known that the religion as a whole was likely bullsh*t. After all, in many instants in history, they shifted what they preached to go along with the current policy made from the last stronghold, and half the prayers they taught was about asking for their useless god to bless on the supreme leader. Yet now she was wondering whether or not what they preached about the life after this one was true or not.

'She will probably burn for eternity for the crime of stealing that stupid bread.' Sophia thought sadly, wondering why she even thought about it in the first place. But Lana was a sweet girl, if the 'god' was truly just as they said, she would not be sentenced to that. She could not be sentenced to that.

"Lana," She said out loud, to her surprise "Wherever you are, you will always be with me in my heart. So please, for my sake, be at peace, and watch me help create a new world."