31. Fusion: Fragment

Walking through the wildlands after being sent from the scientist bunker left me with plenty of time to relax. While they refused to initially give me Noah’s equipment they agreed on handing it over after doing a job for them. Just to recover a sensor. Child's play surely. The sun hang low as it began to set painting the desecrated ground in a delightfully warm orange tone so rare in the zone through a clear sky.

The sunlight drew me back to thinking of what to call myself upon entering the area. Just looking up at the explosion in the void Fusion seemed appropriate. Chuckling quietly slightly amused by the simplicity behind the name my mind wandered further throughout it’s history written in the back of my mind.

I remembered the first time I fixed a pioneers weapon. Jury rigging it back together recovering the scrap metal the name Fusion stuck with me as I built a reputation for my prowess as a gunsmith. It wasn’t long before I picked up on the fact there weren’t many mechanics in the area and quickly found myself starting a repair service.

My small shop boomed with business as customers returned satisfied with my work not being killed by a faulty shooter. Originally I thought it would leave too much time in my head to think alone in a workshop. To my surprise it turned out to be exactly what I needed being consumed by the challenge of unfucking the horrors pioneers inflicted on their weapons. Every day was a new mechanical puzzle to solve keeping memories at bay.

Gaining the skills years ago serving my country was a great honour though my mind wasn’t ready for the stresses of combat. It didn’t take long to begin to spiral into a pit of despair overwhelmed by the firefights that never ended in my mind. Good men were lost and friends decimated in the glorious cause for the country. Being placed as an armourer only left me more time to think.

There was that one day though. That one day an idiot managed to main himself on the bolt of his rifle on the range and wound a few others bringing the gun round in shock. Treating the wounded a nurse came to assist as well. Her white uniform only illuminated her further on the range as we traded quick comments over the privates mishap almost severely wounding two other men.

Long dark days slowly became replaced with enjoying each others company on break which always ended too soon for either of our liking. Occasionally we’d share a drink with hearty laughs and good food. The days seemed a little less dim at work though the terrors always came to life at home.

A car backfiring. A glass shattering. A door in the wind. It all became so much as sleep became non existent and meals less regular. With another bottle of alcohol joining another and the house falling into disrepair the light through the window seemed dimmer and dimmer as I sat watching fan blades turning slowly waiting for the next panic in my mind.

Missing one day of work turned to two and then four. Therapy failing drugs relenting the spark of life continued to fade. Every morning a fight to get up and every night a raging battle until that fateful knock on my door. Opening it up revealing my lethargic face that would scare off even a close friend she stood there unafraid or unfretted by my state.

Walking in uninvited sitting me down a warm meal and coffee was soon placed in front of me. She sat there drinking as she did on our breaks as if nothing was the matter making some wise remarks testing my mood before diving into the hard questions. What was wrong why was it wrong what makes it wrong. I found myself going through the events that terrified me most and shivering with shock towards the end she still sat there finishing her coffee like it was a usual conversation.

Without words she smiled. A simple smile. Nothing out of the ordinary or noteworthy in anyway but the sun seemed to shine a little brighter through the window that day. The next day she went to effort of driving round to pick me up making my mornings that little bit easier. At night teaching me to cook to pass the time while the atmosphere became a little brighter.

Slowly the house became cleaner and the sound of clinking bottles rarer. My resolve became stronger to return her efforts to delve into my mind bearing fruit from her labours. My mood rose alongside her in the morning and mind settled serving a dinner she chose. It wasn’t long before I found myself asking the ultimate question on one knee.

Will you marry me?

Scribbling down my thoughts onto a notepad I jammed it deep into one of my pouches in my webbing as not to be found even if I was a corpse being frisked by another pioneer for supplies. I would rather die a thousand deaths than anyone finding my weird ass poetry. With a frown patting the pouch making sure it couldn’t be felt in a frisk I walked on as my mind continued to turn over the past.

Responding with a resounding yes any influence of mental illness left me. We enjoyed happy lives in the base working our respective jobs enjoying our time together during whatever free time we had. Looking to go for the notepad again my hand faltered. I couldn’t think of how to describe that feeling of being truly loved. That someone would go the distance just to make sure you slept well content with the day.

Her presence was a reason to live in itself. A reason so irreplaceable by anything in this world. Another day at work with her taking the day off the phone rang promising a busy day of work. The phone quickly returned to its holster as I drew my jacket and helmet from the locker. Running down the halls into the parking lot and bringing the motorcycle roaring to life without latching the helmet properly.

Speeding down those winding roads so that the wind pushed the helmet against my face pulling it back I pressed on. A knee against the ground through whatever corners I could afford to follow the best line on. Time was of the absolute essence. Not a moment could be wasted. Not a single interruption afforded.

Reaching the hospital jumping off the bike letting it fall ripping off the helmet I ran through the hospital I knew so well. Through the emergency ward past shocked security personal and throwing open the doors to the emergency room.

That’s where her body laid. The sheet drawn over her body soaked with blood from wounds that refused to clot. A hand dangling from their efforts to revive her but ultimately futile. In that instant the screams returned even if they sang a different tune unrelated to what plagued me before her. A new terror imprinted itself in my mind as security escorted me out.

Shattering glass backfiring cars or a door slamming in the wind provoked no reaction. In fact it provoked nothing at all. The fan blades kept turning but my mind stopped. The light disappeared and the world turned to grey scale. Every day spent sitting in my chair was more unbearable than before her. Before I felt the terror of being alive, now nothing at all. Being alive was a fight every day and now it was simply existing knowing I wouldn’t feel a thing. I was already dead.

The zone’s call could be heard on the wind. It’s horrors promised emotion. Even if this hellscape only invoked terror it was better than the void of this world. So I saw myself at the perimeter fence. Breaking in lost and afraid but alive. I couldn’t feel my arms or legs properly as adrenaline coursed through me and I felt so alive.

The world would never be the same and the horror of seeing her body would always burn in my mind but after meeting a sweet young girl by the name of Sparrow who fought for a better tomorrow for a friend the light started to shine once more if only slightly. Gazing into the sun bleached horizon I brought myself back to reality out of my mind.

Akilina, with you the world was quiet, I was at peace.

Standing still bringing a hand to my face I tried to dispel the memories as best I could as a gut wrenching feeling took over. Going back into the outside world would be the death of me surely. Here I was in a place intent on killing me in the most horrible ways imaginable and still those memories surfaced. If they surfaced here then they would surely surface in the void of ordinary life. Watching the sun pass through the sky from a lounge every day having no purpose.

Here at least it offered some escape. There were always new atrocities interested in ripping me apart. They would make fine distractions. The absolute fear of combat that I came to love. It would be enough in providing me peace in leaving this world at the very least if it came to it. Death was available around every corner.

Looking over the sky as I walked I thought about how long it would be before we had another day like this. Weeks? Months even? I seriously doubted I would see another day like this ever again. It was so tranquil though and there were no threats around. The memories seemed impossible to endure though I’d done it before. She showed me it was possible and with Sparrow maybe I could do it again.

Would it be worth at least trying to live a simple life? I could work as a mechanic or technician just in the civilian sector. I’d be able to pursue actual ambitions and explore hobbies with the time I had left on this earth. Hopefully finding deep satisfaction in something I discovered. I might even meet someone again.

No. Probably not. That crippling feeling was consuming. It was a darkness that encroached on my mind by simply investigating the past and only got darker as time went on. I struggled even to remember my name at times I’d buried it so deep along with any memories that brought her to mind. All I wanted to know was that I was Fussion. That I simply had to try survive this place.

Thinking of how to explain my decision not to leave with her I turned my attention back to the objective at hand. As the light faded I looked down into a dilapidated ventilation shaft descending to a deep darkness. Pulling out a beacon provided by the scientists displayed the sensor had fallen into the depths.

Unravelling a grappling hook to repel down I noticed an AK-74 driven into the ground barrel first. A makeshift grave no doubt. Such respect was commendable but cringeworthy. This wasn’t a place you could just discard good weapons even to pay your respects to the dead. Jamming the hook against the metal slits I began sliding down the rope towards my objective.

My headlight cut through the darkness as I brought my head around inspecting the walls. The reinforced concrete looked to be degrading quickly. This facility must be as old as me I assumed. Slowly continuing to slide down the rope into the darkness the beacon beeped more frequently as the sensor laid at the bottom.

Reaching the bottom with a crunch I almost slipped over a wet surface. Looking down revealed a coagulating pool of blood only a few days old if only that. The corpse nearby deflated with burn marks around it’s forehead. Looking down to my feet again I noticed a small tendril crushed underneath my foot as the sky overhead broke apart releasing that all too familiar wound.

As the scream picked up I found the sensor glad to be in cover as the scream hit until a gurgling growl came down the tunnel. It was unlike anything I’d ever heard instilling unexplainable terror. It’s cries grew louder as eventually a disgusting sloshing could be heard echoing over the walls. Somehow I knew this creature would be beyond my abilities or equipment. With the scream still raging overhead this would probably be the end.

Readying my rifle to go out with a fight I emitted a nervous chuckle glad to at least be given such a glorious death. I wouldn’t regress for a moment. I wouldn’t miss her for a second. The rush of the fight would let me pass with some form of peace. I had that at least. It would be a good death.

“(You won’t be able to kill it! You have to run!)”

The familiarity of the voice as if it was from yesterday even though yesterday was so far away. The scream raging above, disgusting sloshing and soul piercing screams all faded away as a swath of light illuminated the tunnel from behind me. Lowering my gun turning slowly the unmistakable humanoid figure with the only distinguishable feature being her eyes. She lit the path as she did in the past that couldn't be continued no matter how much I wished for it.

“(What are you waiting for? Run!)” Displaced by realization staggering forward I reached out towards the phantom desperate for it’s embrace. To be taken back to yesterday as the world became silent apart from her voice.

“(Akilina, are you really-)” The words choked up as watery eyes blurred my vision as the phantom screamed with the tunnel being lit up by a blue light source.

“(RUN!)”

With that she sprinted away as the sounds of the screams, sloshing and gurgling returned. Chasing after her I ran as fast as I could humanly carry myself. The beast kept pace leaving the walls illuminated with a blue tinge as her aura cut through it ahead. I wouldn’t lose this chance to see her again. No beast or force would stop me I would at the very least say goodbye. I would be given that closure.

Running down the corridor the phantom dived through a crack in the wall followed by myself as the beast charged on by down the rest of the tunnel. Quickly getting to my feet in the half collapsed room as the scream sounded to be dying down. Reunited with her I tried to put the confusion, relief, despair, joy, sadness, grief, ecstasy, anger, fear, terror, rage, amazement into words only coming out as a weeping rant. Attempting to approach her she cut me off with upmost importance in her voice.

“(The scream is almost over. There isn’t time. You must reach the pillar do you understand? We will meet again. There’s enough focus in energy for us to meet again there. We will meet again my love. Don’t let this be the end…)”

With that her voice and body began to lose form as the monstrosity screamed further down the tunnel. Barely managing to put together words I approached her.

“(How? How is it you're here? Don’t go. Oh god don’t go.)” Almost in reach to take her in my arms as her body lost it’s brilliant light forming a gelatinous goo she whispered a final departure.

“(It’s only goodbye for now… we have the infinite loop of time… it’s all beginning and ending… it’s beautiful…)”

Finally reaching her as her eyes faded away her body began to melt in my arms returning to the old coagulated blood from the pioneers body. Slipping through my arms she faded away once more returning to it’s sickly red staining my uniform.

“(No… Not like… Not again…)”

As the last remnants of the phantom returned to a pool of blood underneath me hands cupped my face. Sobbing I looked down again at my reflection. I didn’t even get the chance to say goodbye. There wasn’t time. The beast took chase and stole our time away. Standing with teeth bared under heavy breathing hearing it slosh back towards me I took my rifle ramming the charge handle back.

A round ejected from the AKM proving the rifle was chambered and ready. Leaving the safety of the room walking towards the distant glow it charged forward in response with an ungodly scream. Unshaken resting the rifle on my shoulder I waited to see past the bioluminescent light to witness it’s pitch black body propelled by monstrous tentacles.

Firing the muzzle flash interrupted it’s glow with brilliant flashes of light as the gun rattled expending every single round in the magazine. The beast recoiled in surprise in ballistic shock as the rounds tore through it’s body bursting glowing sacks of fluid and blasting off tendrils. With a gluttonous hiss it retracted for a moment as my hand went for the magazine.

Ripping it out discarding it on the floor hand diving into the pouch seeing the notepad fly out with the magazine it slammed into the gun. Recovered the atrocity opened it’s blender like maw with a scream threatening to bring down the tunnel as it took to the offensive once more with massive tentacles propelling it with uncomparable ferocity as my hand slid over the charge handle.

The second cry of death from the rifle was accompanied by my own screams as it stunned the atrocity with the effectiveness of the fire. Quickly retreating to devise another method of dispatching me I reloaded once more under crippling emotion. Everything told me to give in to the creature but a light burned deep inside ensuring every went into self preservation.

Then I remembered her words. The pillar. We will meet again at the pillar. Breaking into a sprint towards my entry point it wasn't until after a minute or two the atrocity screeched again signaling it was advancing once more. Reaching the rope and hoisting myself up as quickly as weary arms would allow the furious clattering of chitinous scythes could be heard from below. With a final demonic scream from the beast I brought myself back into the outside world exhausted in every form imaginable.

Checking my watch I had only been down the tunnel for a few minutes though it felt like an eternity. Rolling over onto my side eyes clouding up again I processed what had just transpired.

“(Akilina… It was really you…)”

My body cried for rest but I worked through the night making sure all the equipment promised by the scientists was safely stashed away in my room. Sitting at my desk with elbows on the table I came to the conclusion that I had to make it to the pillar. I had to make it out alive. I had to find her no matter where she was. She would be at the pillar she told me word for word she’d be there. With a smile I looked to the wall with a blank stare.

The world would be quiet once more.