As soon as she had the feeling pinned down, it was difficult for her to get the thoughts out of her head. Her aching chest, her heartbeat, the way her fingers sometimes felt numb if he touched her too gently, or the way her veins caught fire when she only thought of his name or gave him a quick glance. Every moment felt like proof. No wonder why there were so many stories of war due to love: It was addicting, powerful. Nothing ever made her feel so invulnerable as Peter when he looked at her with a smile.

“Did your brother ever find the egg you hid under his bed?”

“Oh my God, I have no idea!” Cat admitted. The laughter that bubbled in their throats was just because of him, because of the raw heat he brought from her chest.

It was well past midnight now, as Peter pulled into the parking lot of the school. After the movie, they drove to the park beside campus, where they’d met their friends before for that awful “photoshoot” for the fake Facebook profile. Parked under a canopy of trees with the moonlight pouring through so bright and beautiful, three hours passed while they just sat in the truck and talked, holding hands, sometimes kissing, mostly making stupid jokes and kind of insulting each other at the same time as they flirted.

But they reluctantly returned to campus when Cat yawned too big to hide it behind her hand, which then made Peter remember how tired he was, and alas--now they slowly made their way to their dorm.

“We should probably go in separately just in case,” Peter said through a sigh. Casa del Sol was just over this hill. To nail the reminder in further, his fingers began to slip from hers. Cat frowned instinctively, but nodded. She was the one to tell Peter for them to just...keep things quiet. Even if pretending he didn’t exist when he stood right in front of her was getting to be a little difficult.

Their friends would find out eventually. But she was in no rush for that...undoubtedly unbearable situation.

“So I guess I’ll see you tomorrow at the movies?” Cat asked with a smirk. Well, at least she’d get to fully pay attention to the movie this time. She’d be able to figure out what actually happened. Tonight, by the end of the movie, she couldn’t even figure out why the superhero was fighting the villain when the mentor was the one to ruin everything.

“I’ll ignore you tomorrow at the movies,” Peter agreed. “You go ahead and walk first. Then I can make sure you got in okay.” She rolled her eyes, stifling the laugh in her throat.

“Do you want me to text you when I get into bed safely?” she teased as she took a few steps forward. As she lifted her phone to prove she had it, Peter cocked a brow.

“Depends what you’re wearing to bed tonight. Maybe you should video call so I can be sure someone didn’t run off with your phone.”

Cat was still laughing at him by the time she got into the building. Another piece of proof to her hold. Another reason to love him.

Cameron invited Brad to the movies after all--which was good, because then Cat could pretend that her giddiness was from getting to know him rather than spend more time with Peter. Cam remained the butt of all the jokes, but as usual, reveled in the attention.

“Maybe we’ll see you in the movie,” Kelsey said, nudging Brad in the elbow, “if you managed to get him to settle. That’s a superpower in and of itself.” While Cat was reminded why she absolutely must keep what she and Peter had a secret, Cameron glowed and turned to his date with a grin wider than the horizon.

“What can I say?” said Cam. “When you know, you know.”

“I don’t have superpowers,” Brad said through a laugh. Even through his dark complexion, it was very easy to tell he was blushing. “I mean--Cat!” Breaking from the attention, he gestured to her. “You took an impossible situation and still came out on top!” What? Her smile faltered.

“I--what do you mean?” For a brief moment, she panicked. Did everyone suddenly know about her and Peter--or PumpkinKing?

“You know…,” Brad prompted. “Nate.” Now her stomach turned to stone.

“What about him,” was her flat reply. Peter stiffened next to her; though she couldn’t see his face, she knew he looked to Cam with some sort of furious expression for some sort of answer.

Brad shrunk, guilty. “Well, I mean--I just meant you’re really smart about how you went about it all.” He spoke quickly as the energy got sucked from the group. “With...Thomas…?” Cameron cleared his throat. Though the two hadn’t known each other for long, Brad got the hint: hurry up. “I mean, you knew he was protected with his scholarship, so you targeted his housing by going to Thomas.” Even Kelsey shot Brad a look that could easily be summed up with, get to your point or shut up. “Thomas and his parents were liable for...Nate’s...activities…?” Cat remained silent. “So...the housing…?”

“Brad,” Cameron urged through his teeth, forcing a grin no one believed. “What do you mean?”

Brad visibly gulped. “Sorry. I just mean…. I thought that you went to Thomas about it because you knew that would make him and his parents liable for any illegal thing that Nate did. It’s a felony. They’re responsible for the property and everything that happens on it, including underaged drinking and--well, other stuff.” Cat’s eyes found the disgusting, sticky floor of the theatre. “So they had to...get him to leave…. I--I’m sorry. I really thought that was...what happened. Everyone’s saying that’s what you did to get him to leave on his own. It--it was, we all think it’s really smart.” Everyone. He meant Cam. That’s what Cam was saying.

The silence that fell over the group was sharp and uncomfortable. Brad looked positively horrified that he’d miss-read or miss-understood the situation, and just stood there, covering his mouth as if he could take the words back.

“That’s--that’s not what I meant to do,” Cat said after a moment of silence. “But--but it worked, I guess.” Kind of. There was no record, no way to make sure he never did it again. By the time she’d stopped blaming herself, the drugs were out of her system, and the evidence was gone. But...well, at least every girl at BAU was safe. Maybe he would think twice about it next time, or maybe Thomas’ words scared him away from that kind of thing. But the thought never comforted her.

“We’re next--” Peter interrupted, gesturing to the cashier at the concession stand. “Um, large popcorn?” That seemed to be the awkward interruption they needed to physically move from the spot. Cat was thankful that Peter could find an end to the tension so fast--and her stupid chest floated at the thought. Another reason to love him.

While they lined up to place their order for snacks, Brad leaned in close to Cat’s ear.

“I’m really, really sorry--”

“It’s okay,” she insisted, plastering on a false smile. “Really. It’s all over now. Doesn’t matter.” Maybe that was too much of a performance. Even Brad could see through that ruse.

Hannah recited everyone’s order loudly and with a shrill voice. Cat just nodded, not listening, though she was fairly certain that Hannah forgot to order her peanut butter M&Ms. It was as if the air conditioning hissed too loudly for anything else to pass through her ears, that the sound of the slushy machine mimicked the tone of her bones, too loud for anything else to get through. The short walk to the theatre passed by in a blink, and before she knew it, Hannah physically shoved her shoulders to move forward in the line to fill the seats.

It wasn’t until she collapsed into a seat beside Peter that she realized that Hannah was being...well, herself. Hannah hadn’t noticed a single moment of her roommate’s panic, and was still in matchmaker mode. She must have thought she was so clever, “forcing” her roommate to sit next to Peter.

At least Peter was aware of what was happening. Cat stared at the advertisements on the screen as if they were something she needed to memorize. Graphic design is our passion! claimed a poorly-drawn PowerPoint slide.

“Are you counting?” His words interrupted her. Counting...was she? Well, yes, it turned out that in her zombie-like state, her breathing was methodical, structured by the beat perfectly. It seemed to be the only way that she kept moving, far enough into the ripped theatre chair. Cat blinked at him.

“A-am--do I look like I’m having a…?”

“No.” Peter shook his head at her, his eyebrows furrowed in earnest. “I just...know what to look for.” Oh, if she could only kiss him…. But for now, a gentle brush of his hand at her thigh indicated that under the arm rest, maybe they could at least touch one another’s fingers without anyone noticing. Cat raised one of her legs so that her foot rested on the seat to block Hannah’s view, just in case, and let her hand rest softly into his.

“What do you look for?” she asked quietly, struggling to make it look like she didn’t say anything to him. Thankfully, Hannah was in the middle of laughing at a joke Kelsey said, blind to any tenderness next to her.

“Mine look like anger.” The words shocked her into facing him again. Anger. His anxiety attacks--or at least the beginnings of one looked like anger? All the moments that she frustrated him on purpose flooded to her at once; the fear must have shown on her face.

“I--did I--?” Before she could even ask, he shook his head, twisting to her.

“No. No, I promise. You never--” Peter squeezed her hand, forcing her to pay careful attention. “You pissing me off never--” The relief flooded to her eyes just as quickly as Peter looked over her shoulder. In a moment, his gaze snapped to the screen, and Cat mirrored him, her heart slamming against her chest. From the corner of her eye, she could see Hannah staring.Peter continued, “You pissing me off never gave me a panic attack.” She acknowledged his words by laughing too hard at the advertisement on the screen, and squeezing his hand in reply. She kept her smile on, just to show him for a moment that she understood. But that, aside from periodically squeezing his hand during the movie, was the only communication with him that she risked.

Cat was disappointed to find that she was more impressed with the movie before she knew what actually happened. While Cam, Peter, and Brad exclaimed over how cool the action sequences were, Cat frowned while Hannah and Kelsey just checked their phones.

“It’s...it just looked like when little boys play with toys,” sighed Hannah.

“Yeah. I was hoping for...I don’t know, something to make me care,” Cat agreed.

“Omigod, Cat,” Kelsey shouted, shoving her phone at her. “Tell your stupid brother to get off my sister’s Facebook page. Ew!” Cat stared, wide-eyed, at her friend while the group slowed to a stop. Kelsey stole back her phone and muttered something under her breath.

“Woah, your siblings know each other?” Brad asked, laughing. “What a small world!”

Kelsey rolled her eyes. “I asked my sister to befriend a fake profile that had Cat’s face on it so that Peter’s little brother would accept the friend request, and stupid Gabe took it as an invitation to hit on Abigail like a little--”

“Watch it!” Cat warned. The stupid, little narc might have been a traitorous dweeb, but that was not for anyone else to say.

Brad stared at them, looking amongst the group for any hint of clarity. “I literally caught none of that.” Cameron started to explain the admittedly strange ordeal, but Cat spoke over them.

“I have no control over my stupid brother! He narced on me to my parents! They think I’m some sort of criminal!”

Hannah laughed loudly and continued her way toward Kelseys’ car and Peter’s truck, before Peter joined in her amusement.

“At least he never found the egg!” he reminded, positively alight with mischief. Cat shook her head, which only threw him into a fit.

“Egg?” Hannah echoed. “What egg?”

Cat hid her laughs with a hand over her mouth. “To, um...to get revenge for that, I hid an egg under his bed in an old sock.” The rest of the group rewarded her with boisterous laughter, and jokes about how smelly her younger brother must be all the way back to the dorms.

Hannah only stopped joking when they were alone, stepping out of the elevator on the second floor of Casa del Sol.

“So--you and Peter, huh?”

Cat cleared her throat, sobering. Hannah had no business understanding the feeling of ingesting helium just by hearing a name.

“What?”

“You and Peter--what were you talking about before the movie?

“The movie,” came her obvious reply. Hannah hesitated with her keys outside their dorm room door, so Cat pulled out her own.

“The movie, huh? Oooh, what about it?”

Cat hesitated with her key in the lock. “Uh, just--I was wondering where that main actor was from.”

“Which one?”

“The white guy, the one with blue eyes--uh, Chris Something.” Finally, Cat managed to get the door open.

Hannah let out a loud ‘hmm’ before she answered, “Oh, he’s from the other movie that came out last year. We saw it in the Commons for Movie Night.” She could hardly remember the night, but decided to keep up with her lie: “Yeah, that’s what Peter said.”

“Hmm.” Hannah studied her for a moment before shoving through the doorway. “Okay.”

As Cat shut the door behind her, her phone vibrated, indicating a message. A text. From Peter.

Wish I could say good night in person…. She smiled, but kept it to herself as she threw her purse on the bed and pulled out her pajamas from her dirty laundry basket. How could she make fun of Cam and Brad when she obviously went through something similar with Peter? Well, maybe not similar. Maybe everything she felt with Peter was unique and totally hers, just as Cam’s feelings were his.

Maybe the fluttering in her stomach and the uncontrollable urge to smile was just something she shared, privately, through texts she’d never show anyone else.

I have an idea, she text him back as Hannah changed for bed.

Video chat with what you’re wearing to bed?

Cat bit her lips to stop herself from laughing, and hung her dorm room key around her neck before excusing herself from the room.

We can meet in the stairwell before we go to sleep to say good night, she said. While she still had to wash her face really quick, the nerves prickled at the edge of her stomach.

Peter was a fast texter. Omg. She couldn’t help but laugh at him.

Is that no?

No, you’re just a sap.

So…? She already knew his answer, but it was nice to get confirmation.

Meet you there in a few minutes.

Even though her pit stop to the bathroom was literally three minutes--enough time to wash her face, brush her teeth, and go to the stairwell, Peter still beat her to the spot they were supposed to meet. She giggled when she opened the door and spotted him at the top of the ramp.

“So this was a terrible idea, huh?” she joked when he saw her. Peter shrank in on himself as he laughed, watching her ascend the steps.

“You know, every step you take, I expect you to get taller. Then it hits me: you won’t.” He dodged her weak attempt at a smack on his arm by just reaching for it. He grasped her hand in his, pulling her closer, pressing her palm to his face. His cheek was so warm against her hand; he must have felt that rush from seeing her, just like she did. Wrapping her other arm around him, and feeling him form around her felt more natural than breathing air.

His lips, soft with the harsh tickle of his stubble, pulled her into the moment. His skin hot to her touch, his breathing shallow and timid; drinking in this sudden moment, this protective shield he pulled her into. Nothing could break it, nothing could come close. Her heartbeat synced with his in just one breath, his kiss so breathtakingly perfect that when he pulled away, he had to pull her closer so she wouldn’t collapse.

Part of her wondered if he’d make fun of her for it, for falling into the moment so easily, for melting into him as if it was second nature--but she hardly had time to finish the thought before his fingertips found the gentle hallows of her neck, before the moment returned, stronger, like a passing storm on the sea.

Maybe it would have been easier to keep their meetings a secret if she didn’t feel like jell-o after, every time. But for a full week, every night after they said good night, Cat had to give herself an extra minute to compose herself, because watching him close the door to the stairwell while she stood there, barefoot on the filthy concrete, was not enough to break whatever spell overcame them.

It was getting ridiculous.

While the air grew harder to breathe, her thoughts wavered between overwhelming comfort and momentary panic. Sure, understanding what she felt for Peter was nice and all, but there was only so many times she could think about it before becoming overwhelmingly anxious over what he felt. She started to make stupid mistakes, from either walking into the wrong classroom to just forgetting to lie to Hannah.

“You took a while to get back tonight,” Hannah noticed one night.

“Oh. You know,” Cat replied airily, without realizing.

“Do I?” The only thing to snap her out of her daydreams was Hannah’s stupid, amused expression.

“Uh--yeah,” she said, blinking. “Long line to the bathroom. You know.”

“Mmhmm.”

Her roommate stopped asking about Peter all together by the time a full week had gone by. Everything turned to...normal. The new normal, anyway.

Cat and Peter stood in the stairwell again, holding each other, giggling, stealing kisses and reminiscing about the day they spent apart.

“I was kicked out of my own dorm for most of the day,” Peter said, grinning into Cat’s lips.

“Mmm,” Cat noted, not entirely caring as she leaned in for another kiss. Cam and Brad. It was all anyone was talking about in the group--mostly at Cam’s insistence.

“Maybe…,” Peter started, returning the movement of her kiss, “I could get him to leave for most of tomorrow to make up for locking me out.” Now her interest piqued. “Give us...some time to be....”

“Mmm?” Finally, she opened her eyes to watch his wicked grin spread, the corners of his lips pulled by his dimples. “I’d love that,” she answered through a sigh. Peter’s lips, and the soft brush of his stubble, found its way down her jaw, down her neck. Cat sighed, leaning into his affection, pulling him closer, her fingernails digging into the back of his shirt. “God, I love this." She loved him.

Peter hesitated for a moment, the air shifting, tensing. While she pulled him closer, he pushed away, looking for her eyes.

“What?”

Cat blinked. “Hm?” What, did she smell bad? She just took a shower….

“Did you--” She watched his heart flutter through the vein in his neck. His hands gripped her hips, frozen like an ice sculpture. “Did you mean that?” Was he scared of that word? Was it too much?

For the briefest moment, the only logical thing she thought to do was nod. Of course she’d love to spend the--wait.

“That--that I...that I...like...this?” she stammered. Peter’s breath never escaped his lips. Now her heart leapt to her throat, dizziness overcoming her senses. Did she just say--did she just admit that she--

“After that,” came his softest reply. “Do you mean it?” If her back didn’t touch the cold concrete at that moment, she would have melted from the heat of her embarrassment. What kind of idiot wasn’t aware of what they said? What kind of stupid, incompetent, childish airhead was so caught in their fantasies that she couldn’t tell the difference between what she imagined to herself, in her own private world, and what she said to the person in front of her?

“Cat….” His voice, so gentle, nearly pulled her out of her fog. But she could only close her eyes. If she didn’t see him, maybe it wouldn’t be so humiliating if he didn’t feel the same when she nodded. But when she did, the bubble in her throat only grew.

The fluttering in her chest wasn’t her own anymore; it was Peter’s, pressing against her, every inch of his against hers, one hand pulling her hips closer to his, the other tangled in her hair. There was no chance to get any breath, not that she needed it. She could have been dead already, for all she knew, and his kiss was just his attempt to resuscitate her.

Peter only took a break from her lips to kiss down to her neck, to hear her moan against his wandering hands, to her rapid breathing that responded to his hands on her thighs, pulling her up to wrap her legs around his waist. The moment her feet left the ground to fully submit to his desires, a loud, clattering bang tore them apart, and she caught herself against the wall.

Cat blinked into the fluorescents, one hand on Peter’s shoulder as he snapped away from her suddenly.

Some stupid, poorly-timed dumbass started to clatter their way from the third floor staircase, down to the landing they now occupied.

Stupid Daniel the RA hesitated at the steps at the sight of them and raised his stupid, poorly-timed brows. Cat struggled to prevent herself from glaring at him the entire time he clambered noisily down the steps, all the way until he shut the door to the second floor behind him.

“What a Goddamn--”

“Cat,” Peter repeated, stealing her attention just as quickly as it disappeared. As she glanced up to him, her chest froze, too fragile to beat any faster. Peter’s thumb gently brushed across her lower lip. “I love you, too.”

Maybe a normal human would have done something romantic, like pull him into a kiss or say something sappy about how much she felt--but the only thing to escape her lips was a stupid, weak giggle.

“Y-yeah,” she blurted nervously. “I kind of got that.” Blood rushed to his cheeks, and he laughed a little too hard, his shoulders scrunched, eyes so green and soft, and even brighter with his shy smile. When the feeling in her limbs started to return, she let her fingers gently snake their way up to his neck, urging him for one last kiss.

“See you tomorrow, then?” Peter murmured. She smiled up at him.

“See you tomorrow.”