《Reduced to Stardust》Chapter 28 - Alvis J. Potternuggets
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Melyn gave me an earful as soon as we left Nago's general store. She couldn't wrap her head around my decision to help Nago.
As we ambled through a safer route back to the marketplace, the two of us had a brief talk.
「Are you right in the head Zozo? Rysef's instructions were to return regardless of how negotiations went remember?」
「Did he? It wasn't in the note, so frankly I don't care.」
Melyn groaned at my rebellious response.
「More importantly, are you right in the head? You seemed really disgruntled by what that scumbag said back there. Not to mention... that cut on your neck looks pretty bad...」
「I appreciate your concern, but I'm fine. Hearing him badmouth Rysef just got under my skin is all. Plus, kicking that drunk in the nuts did help me blow off some steam.」
「Some steam? Not all?」
「I have just enough left over to reprimand you.」
「Don't go busting my balls now...」
The thief girl engaging in frivolous banter was enough to alleviate my worries—she was back to her old witty self.
The two of us reached the marketplace once again, this time with a goal in mind.
「So? What's this grand scheme of yours?」
「It's right in front of us.」
Melyn looked ahead and was greeted with the marketplace stage. The large wooden platform had remained in my absence.
Here, merchants of all kinds could advertise their product at the center of everyone's attention.
If I could concoct a brilliant sales pitch and present it here, my promise to Nago would effortlessly come true.
「You plan to speak up there Zozo?」
「Perfect isn't it?」
Melyn facepalmed at my suggestion. She knew I was missing some vital information about the place.
「I'll hide by the crowd and wait. Good luck.」
「Could you be any more stiff-necked..?」
I ignored the uncooperative thief girl and walked towards the stage.
Standing guard by the stairs leading up was an armed man. He glared at me as I approached him.
「Excuse me, I'd like to promote my store. Can you let me up?」
「Hm? What's a brat like ya doin' here? Get lost!」
Judging by the unfriendly response, I was most definitely lacking some basic insight. Was there a requirement to speak up there?
As the man warily eyed me and clenched his spear, a strapping goateed gentleman sauntered to my side.
「What seems to be the matter here?」
「Mr. Potternuggets! Ye're early today. Yer showcase doesn't start in another hour.」
「Haha, I was shooed out of my store this morning. It's my daughter you see...」
「Ooh, she's gettin' at that age eh?」
Potternuggets..? He's that merchant from day one!
He turned to me and tipped his top hat. The getup he donned was elaborate but eye-catching. Grabbing the audience's attention was clearly his game.
His suspenders were still in fine condition.
「And who might you be? I've never seen you around the marketplace before...」
「Don't bother with th' kid Mr. Potternuggets. He's prolly a slum dweller lookin' t' beg.」
The guard was half-right. I was indeed a slum dweller.
But someone like me didn't need to beg. My sights were set on earning dough "fairly".
「Alvis J. Potternuggets was it? I challenge you to a duel.」
I smirked at him and puffed my chest out.
The spear-wielding man was not happy.
「Aight that's enough! Quit botherin' th' merchants, ya brat!」
「Boryk, settle down. Let's hear him out.」
Alvis was a bona fide businessman. He was consequently confident in his speech and curious in nature.
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His potential as a worthy rival only grew.
「Let's have a friendly competition. Whoever attracts the most customers with their presentation wins. Your sales pitch versus mine. No penalties for losing, but your reputation as a merchant is on the line.」
「Oh? And what store are you representing?」
「Nago's General Store.」
As I uttered the name, Alvis beamed with excitement.
「Awfully bold of you to challenge the Pottershack with another general store. You think you can outmatch me in a battle of charisma?」
「I don't think. I will.」
Though he spoke to a mere child, Alvis received my declaration earnestly. It had been a while since anyone had taken me seriously like this.
The guard though gawked at me funny.
「K-kid... are ya even registered t' perform up 'ere?」
So that was the requirement... no wonder he was on the alert this whole time.
「N-no...」
Alvis snickered at my answer. Not scornful, simply surprised.
「You certainly are an interesting boy. Well, I suppose that means our duel is off. It's a shame really, I would've liked to see how you'd fare against me in a—」
「Hold your horses Pottynuggets!」
I still had a backup plan. One that took advantage of the current predicament I found myself in. It was too early to call it quits.
My brain was truly a wonder to behold.
「New rule. We're still competing for customers, but I won't be doing a sales pitch.」
The merchant stroked his goatee in amusement over my proposal. Looks like he was still onboard regardless of my handicap.
「No sales pitch? Empty bravado? Or are you underestimating me?」
「I might be overestimating you in this case, Pottybuckets...」
He narrowed his gaze at me, before putting out his hand to shake mine.
「Sounds fun! I'm in! Also, it's Potternuggets.」
「I'd sooner be caught dead than saying that name unironically. And the name's Lorenzo! Good to make your acquaintance!」
I turned to the guard and pulled him aside.
「You'll be our impartial judge. Hope you declare me the victor.」
「H-haaah?! I never agreed t' anythin'—」
「Great! We'll meet back here after Portnigel's presentation.」
I winked at them both and quickly disappeared into the marketplace crowd.
Melyn was waiting near the platform and hyperventilated nonstop. It was easy to find her using the Hu breathing technique.
What a clever trick. These slum dwellers sure have crafty ways of locating each other.
「Melyn, change of plans. I was barred from entry.」
「Oh. I know. It'd be dumb if they let any schmuck off the street speak up there.」
「You really should tell me these things before I make a complete ass of myself...」
The thief girl playfully stuck her tongue out. She was somehow both a valuable ally and a detriment to this journey.
「So what now? Should we sniff out a soapbox somewhere else?」
「Oh no, we're still using the stage.」
「H-huh?」
「I'll brief you on the details. When that Porknougat's presentation starts, we strike.」
---
A huge mass of people had surrounded the stage even before Alvis began. His reputation preceded him. The Pottershack was Yarzon's most popular general store after all.
As the audience size reached its peak, the goateed merchant made his first move.
「Good afternoon, ladies and gentlemen of Yarzon city! It is I, Alvis J. Potternuggets, here to talk to you about one thing that binds us together—existence!」
His bombastic delivery reached the edges of the plaza. Alvis' voice was like a radio jockey before radio. Not a jockey though.
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「Life is pain as they say! Rife with misfortune! There's only so much we can do when faced with the mortal coil! Just today my daughter kicked me out of the house! Yes, folks, the daily struggle is indiscriminate..!」
This time, he was appealing to the listener as a layman. Forming a connection with the average joe through playing the underdog was a smart move on his part.
Who knows how long he could've gotten away with his provocative diction from two months ago...
「Dead-end jobs, unreciprocated advances, and yes, strained relationships with loved ones! When it comes to horrible experiences, bad timing and awkward circumstances are the obvious perpetrators! But there is one more ingredient to this dreadful recipe!」
I sat atop of stack of boxes. The view was unobstructed by the row of heads in front of me.
Melyn was stationed further within the crowd, also elevated by a pile of crates. Together we bided our time and observed Alvis' speech.
These two strategic points served a useful purpose aside from circumventing our small frames...
「Luck! Plain and simple! Fate is a fickle thing, my friends! The future is shrouded in mystery! "So... how does one shift the gears of destiny to their favor?" I hear you ask!」
We would commence the operation as soon as Alvis introduced the product. I put up my hood and waited with bated breath.
Since the plan revolved around the product he was going to showcase, we needed to nail a lot of the improv to make it work.
I had faith in myself, but with Melyn I was unsure...
「Worry, not beloved patrons! We have the product for you! Imported from the culturally-rich lands of Pelcazzi, comes these spiritual works of art!」
The product came flying from behind offstage into his hands. Less of a spectacle than his previous presentation, but passably captivating.
I squinted my eyes as he held it up. My eyesight was flawless compared to the old world.
It was a pomander hung from a neck chain—a beautifully ornamented ball containing all sorts of sweet scents.
Upon identifying the object in his hands, the thief girl and I made our move.
「These miracle products serve as a charm for good luck! Blessed by Pelcazzian priests, these wonderful necklaces act as both repellents against the forces of evil, scented decorations that purify any foul-smelling home, and gorgeous accessories! Interested in weaving the threads of your prophecy?! Come over to the Pottershack and get one now! A limited stock of two hundred remaining! You know where we are!」
And the gathering of Yarzon citizens bought his pithy presentation. Right as they were about to leave, I cleared my throat and prepared to yell.
「YOU'RE A CHEAT POTTERNUGGETS!!!」
My accusation echoed throughout the plaza. All eyes were immediately locked onto me.
I was playing the part of an extremely dissatisfied female customer. My high-pitched voice aided in the imposture. Sitting on the tall crates allowed my utterances to be heard from miles away.
I made sure to cover my face to avoid getting called out.
Puberty had greatly changed the contours of my visage in the span of months; I no longer looked like a young girl.
Proof being those black market thugs and Alvis recognized me as a boy at first glance.
Apparently getting healed over and over again affected my hormones.
This rapid muscle regeneration that came with the healing also meant I was developing my muscles at a faster rate than usual.
The only remnant of my passing femininity was the piping voice, but that too would disappear with age.
I decided to use it to my benefit at least once before my masculinity took over. That way I could look back on it fondly.
「YOUR BOOB ARMOR DIDN'T WORK YOU THIEVING GOAT!!! MY FRIENDS LAUGHED AT ME FOR WEARING IT!!!」
Melyn chimed in, saying exactly what I wanted her to say.
We took turns hurling allegation after allegation at the flustered merchant. He had no words to defend himself against the valid claims of his previous product.
Whispers began emerging from the crowd.
「IF THAT ONE WAS A SHAM, THEN WHO'S TO SAY THIS ISN'T?!」
「M-madam, I can assure you whatever issues you have with our products is merely—!」
「ARE YOU CALLING ME A LIAR?!」
A rage-induced retort that added fuel to the flames. Melyn was shockingly skilled at riling people up. Her experience in dealing with droves of kids possibly helped in that.
The murmurs only grew louder. It would inevitably snowball into outrage directed at the goateed merchant.
We call ourselves individuals, yet collectively become a hivemind when huddled together...
「Come to think of it my cousin's friend did complain about products from the Pottershack...」
「I remember seein' a pile o' discarded armor pieces a week after th' breast armor spiel... is that what it was..?」
「Preying on innocent maidens like that... how shameless!」
The crowd of potential customers had effectively converted into an anti-Pottershack rally following a couple of vocal criticisms.
We, the loud minority, possessed control over the rest.
As the mob grew unruly, guards formed a defensive barrier around the stage. The situation was escalating, all according to plan.
「Quit sellin' yer worthless products ya prick!」
「I want a refund for my breast armor!」
「"Miracle product"?! What kind of idiot would believe that crap?!」
Bandwagons were a scary but powerful weapon. The Battleshift community taught me this.
Those who lacked self-awareness and independence automatically clung to the opinions of others. They parroted those beliefs until they became their own.
Even I'm guilty of this. Playing along with those forums calling me the villain of Battleshift was my way of seeking acceptance from the community... how unsightly...
Only when their worldview was challenged, did their minds change entirely. No matter the realm, humans were all the same.
「NAGO'S GENERAL STORE IN THE WESTERN CORNER OF THE MARKET DISTRICT HAS BETTER CHARMS! AND CLOTHING FROM THE NORTHERN CITIES! I'D RATHER GO THERE THAN THE POTTERSHACK!!!」
Before any harm could befall Alvis, I redirected the crowd towards the information broker's place.
Game, set, match.
Manipulating a bunch of uneducated fools was as easy as pie for a master tactician like me.
Alvis, who had shielded himself with his arms, looked up to witness his adoring fanbase jostling to reach the exit, leaving him behind.
What I didn't know at the time, was that he had me in his crosshairs.
I'm sure he wouldn't mind me standing him up. Besides... if I did show up to announce my victory, that spear guard would undoubtedly haul me to the city dungeons.
The thief girl and I had set the small building by the stalls as our rendezvous point—it was the spot I nearly broke my legs at while trying to escape from the shopkeepers.
She bore an ecstatic grin as I regrouped with her.
「The plan worked! It really worked! How did you know they'd fall for it Zozo?!」
「My schemes have always worked Melyn. It's only natural it went smoothly as it did!」
「I suppose you have the right to toot your own horn this time. Good work.」
I haughtily gloated over my accomplishment as Melyn showered me with praise. I couldn't get enough of the sweet taste of victory.
The real battle though had yet to come.
Negotiations with Nago were not over.
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