Chapter 10: Success! / A World United!

Kane looked out the window. It was afternoon. He yawned

“Well, I’m taking a nap. I’ve been up for over two days straight.” Said Kane.

He laid down on the couch in the workshops lounge, and fell asleep

He woke up to a giant post it note on his face

“Damnit, where the hell does he get these things!” Said Kane, peeling it off. Usually if Evan bothered leaving a note, it meant something important. He figured Evan was gonna admit that he failed.

That wasn’t what the note said. That wasn't what it said at all.

Kane checked his phone, frantically. He had thousands of calls and texts, from family and random people.

They all were words of praise, and congratulations. Not a single one held any ill will.

While he had been asleep.

Evan had taken over the world.

Without a single complaint from anyone.

He reread the post it note

“Hey Kane, I did it. I guess.” Said the post it note. It had a smiley face on it.

“Did it you GUESS!!!!??!? What IDIOT takes over the entire world CASUALLY in a SINGLE DAY!?! I DIDNT THINK YOU WOULD ACTUALLY TRY LET ALONE SUCCEED!!!!!!” Kane yelled

“Oi, Kane! I did it! I came cause I had another question for you.” Said Evan, walking into the lounge

“ANOTHER ONE?!?” Kane yelled

“How the legitimate fuck did you take over the world? Peacefully at that, I can’t find a single complaint about it online! Or anywhere for that matter!” Said Kane

“I fixed everyone’s problems. Again. I guess with what we already made alone we helped the world enough to trust us. I think if I had just took over with that there would be a very small amount of people who have concerns, but I guess what I did solved it.” Evan said

“When the FUCK did you gain so many peoples trust across the entire WORLD without me noticing it at all! HOW?!?” Kane asked

“Uh. Well, you do realize that the entire world is already almost completely dependent on our company, right?” Evan asked

“I did NOT! I mean, I know we’re the biggest company, but still! That’s money, how the fuck did you get that much INFLUENCE over the WORLD!” Kane asked

“You’re basically asking the same questions over and over. They like me because I help them. Lets see. Most of our services are cheap, well made, widely available, and solve a lot of the world's problems. Since we made the company, world hunger shrank to a near negligible amount in the first year due to one of the products we released, and completely disappeared last year due to another product. I released a medicine that can cure virtually any disease, and stasis tech for those that it can’t, until I can find a cure. Hmm, crime has lowered in most cities by about, I dunno, 90%? I installed copies of Anne in most of the world's major cities, so she can keep track of everything and take action to a certain extent. And we made sure that anyone who was inconvenienced by our technology was satisfied. So we also have strong ties to most governments, law departments, both the cops and lawyers, and the support of virtually every single charity other than ones we stay neutral with. There’s other stuff but I kinda forgot.” Evan said

“Ah. Now that you mention it, that is true. Fuck. We took over the world in our teens. Actually, we aren’t even that old….. What kind of nonsense is this. The world even sees us as the perfect examples of world leaders! Have you even read anything that people put online about us? What about the whatsit called, That government stuff? Uhh. Well, you know what I mean, I’m not good at politics, don’t like them either.” Said Kane

“Yeah. I hate politics.” Said Evan

“Wait what?” Kane asked

“Yeah, I took over the world and solved everyone’s issues so they would stop complaining. Well I guess mostly to help them, but now I don’t get lectured by Anne about how politics is interesting. Though, I guess there was an issue with that upcoming war, too....that one was pretty important.” Said Evan, mumbling the last part.

“What is Anne anyhow, I thought it was a security program.” Kane asked

“Oh. Anne is The one who killed you with her body.” Said Evan

“Do you ever make things male?” Kane asked

“Nope. Can’t stand the voices. Higher pitch voices help me focus, lower pitch voices can startle me, and a male avatar with such a high pitch voice feels off.” Evan said

“Jeez.” Said Kane