Jo had been wondering through the corridors of her memories for an indeterminable amount of time. She was in a bleak mood, one where she wanted to punish herself. She stopped outside a door and read the label.

Rob – you fucked this one up.

This was the perfect one. Jo stepped through the door and there he was. Rob. Brilliant, perfect, beautiful Rob.

Jo had come to Rob’s world to relive her teenage years, the reasoning behind this was no longer clear. She had turned up at an orphanage at the age of 11 and was adopted within a year to a loving pair of parents, but this story wasn’t about them, it was about Rob. Gorgeous, intelligent, sociable Rob.

The two of them had met at the age of 18 at a party. Jo had just finished her first “serious” relationship, of 6 months, and was on the rebound. She was drunk and on the edge of oblivion when Rob appeared at the party. Something about him instantly peaked Jo’s interest, she made a direct path to him and pulled him away from the crowd. The two of them went out into the garden and made out.

At the next party the same happened and at the one after that too. It was the perfect rebound, no strings, minimal effort, loads of fun.

Somehow over the following weeks it merged from drunken partying to hanging out together when sober. Jo got to know Rob’s friends, they were a nice bunch, different to her friends somehow. Not better just different. There was a maturity to them, they were smart, they had ambitions to go and do things, they thought about the future. Whereas Jo’s friends liked partying and living in the moment.

There was something comforting about Rob, something that made Jo long to be part of his future. They became best friends. They dreamt of spending eternity together.

Then there was a party that Rob wasn’t going to be at. Jo was drunk again and there was this guy. A guy who’s name she couldn’t even remember, even as she stood in her memory watching the events unveil, he was just a shapeless boy who just happened to be there.

Jo stood in the room as an apparition watching as the memory played out. She saw her past self meaninglessly making out with the shapeless boy as Rob walked into the party. She saw the moment that Rob, compassionate, empathetic, lovable Rob’s heart broke. Jo knew now with hindsight that Rob did not know he was the rebound guy, Rob thought he was Jo’s boyfriend, Rob was thinking of their future disappearing, while Jo thought only of the moment.

Her past self saw Rob and sauntered up to him, going for a kiss but Rob, devastated, heartbroken, fragile Rob held an arm out.

“No kiss for me?” Jo mouthed along to the conversation.

“Who’s that?”

“Nobody, just some guy.”

“Oh”

“You going to come and get a drink?”

“No. I think I will leave now.”

“Suit yourself, it’s going to be a hell of a party.”

“Goodbye Jo”

Past Jo went back to the shapeless boy.

“Who was that?”

“A mate, you’d like him, he’s normally a ton of fun. Don’t know what was up with him tonight.”

Jo never saw Rob again, at the end of the summer he went off to university and lived the future he dreamed off. Jo stayed in the same town and bounced around a bit before growing tired of the world and leaving it.

She knew she could go back, create a new timeline, prevent that night from ever happening but for what purpose? It would have been fake, it would have been false, it would have been a lie.

She could go back to that timeline and see him walk out of the door of the party. She could tell him the truth, about who she was, that they could spend eternity together but what would be the point? Why drag Rob, noble, elegant, precious Rob out of his timeline into her mess. She would only destroy him some other way.

Jo stepped out of the frozen moment back into the corridor. A tear ran down her cheek as she saw the hundreds of other doors marking her lowest moments.

She hated herself right now.