《Of Misclicks and Magic》Knee Deep in the Dead

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Did that skeleton just run away? How fucking dare it! That is my thing, not theirs. I cannot believe my own secret technique was used against me! This is an outrage, I say!

Moving on from the blatant theft of my own material, I go back to the hellish march to the entrance with the heavy box. I almost prefer battling over this task. At least I would get experience out of it. The strain put on my muscles went so far that I got a free strength and stamina point. Oh boy, my arms are going to be jelly afterwards.

Making it to the courtyard, the situation was dire. There were about three hundred to the five hundred walking sacks of bone and/or flesh. On top of that, they looked quite tired from all the fighting as predicted. Tom’s followers have survived for the most part despite being the weakest due to their organized nature. They formed a shield wall bristling with spears. While there might not be much at all of strength in them all, they can at least defend themselves with their numbers and Tom taking the brunt of the undead advance on them. It is almost like he was dancing with a sword though never got a decisive hit due to both the battle sense and resilience of the shambling remains. Beep had been providing support to Tom but ceased upon my entrance to say “hi.” Well, what else did I expect from him? To focus on this fight when our lives are on the line? He probably just recognized it as a game. I expected too much from him I suppose.

But, Tom’s growth is terrifying, he was good with a sword before yes, but not to this level! How is his swordsmanship growing so fast, even without a teacher? If you really want to progress your swordsmanship past a certain point, you need to learn a certain style from another who follows the way of the blade. Do not tell me he invented his own school of swordsmanship. I knew he was talented, but this is monstrous!

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I jealously stared at him longing for his kind of talent. He noticed my stare, but did not realize the intent of my gaze, and grinned at me with a wide smile like a kid showing off for their parents. What am I doing getting envious of this wholesome child… I should be punished for my sinful thoughts.

Beep on the other hand went back to loosing arrows into the crowd upon my order. His talent with the bow is almost as exceptional as Tom’s skill with a sword. Shot after shot, he hit them squarely in the head. Rather, it was his arrows themselves that faltered. They could not deeply pierce the dead’s bodies. Fucking church! Why did you have to give us shit equipment!

I started tossing holy water at the horde. Due to their density, missing was almost impossible. The host of undead were given their due and covered in holy water. For the first time in this brawl, the undead faltered. The zombies with vocal cords still intact screeched in pain.

The children, sensing their weakness, switched from a defense to pushing the enemy. The children that were turned were first to go as they were particularly weak compared to the rest of their comrades. Now debuffed with a holy hand grenade, the undead around Tom look as if their second life ended, which to be fair, it did after Tom crushed them into a pulp. Now free, Tom barked orders for his followers to advance in formation. The shield wall moved slowly but surely forward. Whatever undead that lied in their path was eventually pricked to death after a dozen thrusts of many spears.

The undead sensing that they were being pushed back, attempted to regroup but my bombardment proved too frightening and this remained spread out. For every swing and slash, the undead fell back to their eternal rest and the kids became ever more hungry for levels. With the defeat of the abominations of nature inevitable now, I joined the fray to get levels.

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The shock of the hunter becoming the hunted stunned the horde. They were supposed to be the ones preying on defenseless children. This is not supposed to be what was happening. Nonetheless, they fought with the same zeal as the kids did. However, their weakened strength did not match their will and they folded.

In the aftermath, I checked my pop-ups, which I hid away in the heat of battle. I gained the skill “spear profiency” and gained two levels. Probably got the bulk of my experience from my assists with the holy water bombs.

While they were ruthless, yes, the kids were not monsters. Children were running about burying the fallen to rejoin the Earth Mother. Tom for his part was giving prayer and collecting the bodies as well. Beep was… well… looting off the bodies. If someone saw this scene without context, they would think him cold. No, he is just so dumb that he does not even recognize what he is doing is wrong. Any scrap of food immediately went in his mouth.

Watching over the scene, a hand clamped onto my shoulder. I turned to see Father Vlad grinning ear to ear while looking over the bloody courtyard. He spoke, projecting across the courtyard, “Thank the earth that you survived. This was such an unforeseen incident. Unfortunately, someone tipped off that the undead were deep into the island so all our forces were away. We are still investigating this matter for the perpetrator. Let us hope that this does not happen again in exactly two months.”

Wait.

Wha-

Huh-

Are you kidding me?

What the fuck.

Are you serious?

This motherfucker did this. This is just going too far, does he think himself above the church. Attracting an undead infestation is incredibly against the rules and regulations of the church. He could only get away with this as the holy order had a great deal of autonomy due to their isolation as an island being in the unpredictable Hlokk Sea. If he did this on the mainland, he would have gotten immediately purged but I suppose that is why he took this post on the island.

But the most dreadful words came next. “I want to speak with you in particular in my office, runt of the litter. Let us talk.”

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