“Miss? Do you hear me?” Janine’s fingers gently patted my shoulder.

“Hmm?” I hummed absentmindedly as I continued to stare at the needle tucked between my fingers.

“I’ve already called your name three times, Ashlyn!” She scolded; however, her tone was laced with the evident trace of worry.

With a loud theatrical sigh, she put away her dusting cloth and plopped down on my bed. “All right. What exactly is going on?”

“You know what is going on, Janine,” I whispered, while I studied the harrowing attempt at embroidery on my handkerchief. What was supposed to be a rose, looked more like a somber pink potato.

“I thought you’d be glad he hasn’t tried to enter your chambers in the evenings,” she drawled with confusion.

“I am,” I nodded at her. “But this feels so strange, Janine. Whenever we meet in the hallways, we barely acknowledge each other’s presence. It’s like we are strangers not newlyweds.”

“There was no love in your marriage Miss, so that’s how it usually goes. It’s only an arrangement. But be happy he isn’t pressuring you into any…” She cleared her throat. “Physical activities. You are free to do whatever you want.”

“I suppose so,” I sighed again.

“And you don’t have to listen to him talk about weather and horses!” She exclaimed playfully.

Her easy-going demeanor always made me smile, and I was entirely grateful for her effort. She was a wonderful ally and a companion.

“Oh, Janine! What would I do without you?” I hugged her small frame against my body.

“You’d be done for, because you need me!” She winked as she pulled out of my crushing embrace. “Now hurry up, breakfast is already served. James will have my head if the food gets cold,” her mouth grimaced distastefully.

When I stepped into the dining room, I immediately spotted Baxter’s sandy hair. He was slouched in his seat, completely engrossed in his newspaper.

As usual I took the seat on the other end of the long table with at least five feet stretching between us.

“G-Good morning, h-have you s-slept well, My Lady?” He asked politely, plastering an artificial smile on his face.

“Yes, Your Grace, thank you,” I answered while pretending to dust of my dress. “How was your night?”

“V-Very well, t-thank you.”

But judging by the shadows under his eyes I knew he was lying.

Silence loomed in the room as we finished with pleasantries. There was nothing to say anymore, at least not until luncheon when he asked me how my day went. This went on for a week, ever since the awful wedding ceremony.

I pushed the pieces of fruit around my plate, completely devoid of appetite.

“I think I will take a stroll this afternoon,” I announced, biting my lower lip.

He didn’t look up from the newspaper as he answered. “G-Good. Just t-take Janine with y-you.”

I wanted to scream out of frustration, jump on the table or tear his blasted newspaper out of his hands, anything to make him look up and acknowledge me.

Jeanine was right, I should be happy with the freedom he was giving me. Any other gentleman wouldn’t be so patient. I was scared of the unknown road this marriage was, but I was uneased by the silence more. I wanted to open my mouth, to say something, instead, I lowered my head in defeat. “I will.”

I abandoned my untouched plate and went to find Janine.

*

“Such a nice day, Miss!” Janine stretched her hands above her head. “But we mustn’t wander too far. His Grace will be worried.”

“I don’t think he will notice, Janine,” I murmured.

We walked down the street, greeting the friendly and the not so friendly neighbors.

“Why didn’t you eat your breakfast, Ashlyn?” She remembered suddenly. Her round face transformed into a grimace, as if scolding a little disobedient child.

“I wasn’t hungry. How do you know about that anyway? Oh, but of course … James.”

“Yes, James! The man is a nightmare, he is constantly reprimanding me. Janine you should know this, Janine you are doing it wrong!” She dramatically sighed and rolled her eyes.

“I saw how you look at him,” I playfully nudged her. “You fancy him.”

“Is this supposed to be a joke, Miss? He’s an old, grumpy man!” She said with a horrified expression; however, she was quick to avert her eyes.

“He is forty-five, hardly ancient and you are fifteen years younger than him. The age difference isn’t uncommon.”

“Like I would ever consider marrying a man like him!” She snorted. “Not likely! He’s moody and domineering!”

“But he is such a charming gentleman, my dear friend! With his full pink lips like roses and eyebrows like bushes!” I covered my mouth to keep myself from laughing.

“You are mocking me,” she accused me with irritation. “At least he doesn’t talk about weather!”

“How would you know that?” I raised my brow while twirling toward her. “Maybe he was the one who taught him that.”

Her expression was horrified. “One can only hope that’s not the case.”

She tilted her head to the side, her eyes warming as they landed on me. “It’s so nice to see you laugh, Ashlyn. I was worried about you. You were closed up behind the walls of your chamber for the whole week, barely coming out.”

“I am all right,” my eyes travelled skyward. “It’s just that I waited for some kind of miracle to prevent me from marrying. But when none came the reality crashed hard on me.”

“I know it’s not what you expected, Miss. You always were a romantic soul,” she smiled gently. “Both you and your sister.”

“She believes in fairytales Janine, I don’t.”

“But I think you do. You always believed you’ll find a nice gentleman who you’ll fall in love and ride into the sunset with,” the corners of her mouth turned upward.

“Hardly,” I snorted bitterly.

“But you did. It’s just that reality is much different, Ashlyn. There is rarely love involved when you marry someone for their wealth,” she stopped and forced me to look at her. “But it will get better, I promise. You will get used to him. You still can have a somewhat happy marriage, just different from the one you dreamed of.”

“I know,” I nodded. “I should be happy I married a kind man, not some kind of a brute.”

“There you go! Now stop ruminating and worrying and start living!” She put her hand under my own and pulled me forward.