《Ashlyn’s choice》Wedding bells (part 2)

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Without the need to interpret his behavior – as it was painfully obvious – I knew he was miserable. Every now and then he looked over the rim of his glass, his eyes travelling from me to Bonnie, his grimace deepening every time he did so.

Realizing I was paying more attention to Jared than my own husband, I forced my body to face Baxter.

He looked painfully out of place amongst the guests, even though it was his own wedding. His eyes were fixated on one particular piece of fruit lying on his plate, his brows knitted with uneasiness. I noticed small droplets of sweat forming on his temples as his chest rose and fell with rapid breaths. He wanted to pour himself a glass of water, but his shaky fingers almost knocked over my father’s glass of wine.

I pushed my untouched glass toward him, ignoring all the raised brows and mocking glances directed his way. I even heard “a poor fool” coming out of Lady Wyatt’s mouth.

Baxter didn’t seem to appreciate my assistance as his cheeks flamed further.

“Excuse me,” he swiftly raised to his feet, trying to avert his face as it burned with humiliation. Stunned, I watched him rush out of the dining room and almost colliding with a waiter who desperately tried to balance plates of meat in his hands.

Spiteful snickers and snorts circled about the room, their echoes resonating in my ears like a discordant melody. I glared at everyone who dared to so blatantly mock my husband, but my desperate attempts to quench the impending disaster were fruitless.

“I’d better go after him,” I sighed before I stood up.

After combing through every room, I still came up empty, for the man was nowhere in sight.

“James!” I noticed Baxter’s butler standing in the kitchen, giving out instructions for the servers.

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“Yes, My Lady?” He pivoted on his feet and raised his thick graying brows. If I didn’t know better, I’d be cowering under his severe stare. His hands were clasped behind his back and his chin proudly raised. Although James was not a tall man, his firm posture and serious demeanor compensated for the obvious shortfall.

“Have you perhaps noticed His Grace?” I asked him with slight impatience. “I am unable to find him.”

“Yes, I believe he stepped outside for a minute,” the older man pointed at the back doors that lead to the gardens.

I thanked him and rushed outside whilst glancing around in hopes of spotting him.

Baxter sat on the bench beneath the big oak tree. His shoulders were sagged and his head lowered.

“Your Grace!” I called out to him, but he didn’t seem to hear me. “Your Grace, are you feeling all right?” I inquired, out of breath as I finally managed to reach him.

“Y-yes, go b-back inside, p-please. I w-will be r-right back,” he didn’t raise his head when he spoke. His fingers nervously played with the delicate rose bud, twirling it around until the petals slowly fell off.

“Can I join you?” I nodded toward the bench he was sitting on.

“I-I don’t w-want to be impolite, but I-I would like t-to be left alone,” he said with a barely audible voice.

“But-” I started to protest.

“-Please, I w-will join y-you shortly. I p-promise,” he murmured, still gazing at the now wilted flower.

“If you insist.” I said hesitantly. I was torn between the need to comfort him and the compulsion to selfishly desert him. With guilt settling in my chest - as if hot branded into my soul - I twirled around and remorsefully walked back inside the house.

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I was appalled by the notion how guests haven’t even noticed his absence. Inebriated, their cheeks became pink and their eyes glazed as they slowly drained his wine. Once hushed voices were now loud and jumbled, riddled with brazen commentary. As though mere pigs in the sty, they squealed over one another, their teeth glimmering in the dim light as they greedily tore the meat off the bones. Grease trickled to their chins, staining the collars of their lavish, undoubtedly recently purchased attires.

“How are you?” My head whipped at the unexpected question. Edith scooted to Baxter’s empty chair and placed her hand on mine.

“Stunned,” I admitted. “This,” I indicated at the luxuriously filled table and guests. “Doesn’t feel right. It’s more like a twisted play pretend.”

Edith winced at the crude belch, coming from across the room. “Straight from the playhouse, indeed,” she nodded. “Just look around,” she discretely pointed at my aunt and her snobby, completely drunken company. They howled with laughter while shouting obscenities at each other.

“I wish my father hadn’t invited her,” I sneered at my aunt’s inconsiderate behavior.

“True, but she’s hardly your real problem,” Edith’s tone suddenly turned serious.

Peeling my gaze off my aunt, I caught Edit’s stern, yet sympathetic look. “And what would my real problem be?”

“I don’t know, maybe your life with Baxter Read? Or your incoming wedding night?” She lowered her voice so nobody could overhear her.

“Edith…” I started.

“No, Ashlyn,” she cut me off. “Have you even thought about how lonely your life is going to be? Filled with misery. And how in God’s name will you get through the wedding night? Or every night to be exact! It will be painful and terrible,” she shuddered at the thought.

As if this situation wasn’t already complicated enough, I noticed my husband taking a vacant seat next to my father. His stony face indicated he’d heard every single word that came out of Edith’s mouth.

I suddenly felt nauseous and faint. We were barely married but there was already a thick and an unpleasant wall standing between us.

“Your Grace…” I stammered to apologize.

He pretended not to notice. He avoided my pleading eyes whilst he calmly raised and walked off to join Lord Stanley.

“Why would you do that again Edith?!” I hissed at her, glaring into her completely stunned eyes.

“I am sorry, Ashlyn! I didn’t notice him, I swear! He moves like a phantom!”

Behind her frantic gaze there was a visible glint of shock and remorse.

With a disbelieving sigh, I raised my head toward Baxter whose lips were now formed into a smile. The strain was gone, masked with calmness, as if nothing happened, as if nothing that others whispered behind his back had hurt him.

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