Like a zombie, I do the math on my phone’s calculator. X floors with Y candies times Z bars of stamina... Z bars of stamina... I put my head between my hands. This event is going to eat up the majority of my stamina potions before we even hit the end. First half rankings are more aggressive than usual.

“Don’t look so glum, chum!” As he floats by, a wandering ghost tries to cheer me up.

I grab my whip and instinctively lash out. Although he looks human, with his bottom half ending in a wispy tail, I know he’s anything but. We’re not at a milestone floor so we shouldn’t have to purify this one, either. I take him out in three hits, pocketing the candy before Thagomizer and Marie♥ can turn around to collect their share.

“I dare say, old boy, that was quite... alarming...” the ghost moans before disappearing.

“You couldn’t share a little?” Thagomizer asks with a pout.

“Like you’ve been sharing your haul?” I snap back.

“Consider it my retainer fee,” she says. “For babysitting you.”

Denver barks, interrupting our argument. Marie♥ looks between us with a worried expression.

“Is everything okay?” she asks.

“Thagomizer is just being her usual self. Everything is fine.” I’m perhaps a bit more monotonous than I intend to be. I really do let Thag get under my skin sometimes. “We’re arguing over something stupid. Must be a day that ends in ‘y.’”

“What’s that supposed to mean?” she shoots back.

“Nothing.” I stress the first syllable.

We continue to bicker as we each take on the intermittent waves of ghosts. They run the gamut from humanoid to animal, with a few hybrids in between. None of them have any specific interactions with the scenery and none of them seem to have a prompt for purification. These are the days! This is the life! Mindlessly grinding for candy, back to back to back with my friends.

The next floor is a room of floor-length mirrors. There’s a distinct change in the music we can hear all around us, a haunting tune instead of the lighthearted one we’d had since the Ghost of Halloween Present had given us her blessing.

Although I’m standing still, my reflection moves! Bruce startles, flapping his wings wildly and smacking me right in the face. “I” hop from mirror to mirror as if leading the way.

“Did either of you see that?” I ask.

“What is it now?” Thagomizer sighs.

“Our reflections aren’t... reflecting.” I point in front of myself to an empty mirror. Three mirrors down, my reflection crosses its arms.

“Too slow,” it chides.

Thagomizer and Marie♥ step into frame and wave their arms back and forth. Their reflections do the same. It’s just my reflection that isn’t behaving. It laughs, vampire fangs glinting in the dim light.

“Hurry up, Яagnarok! We’ll go on ahead,” my reflection calls out. “Don’t wait up, girls!”

“What? No, we’re supposed to climb as a group!”

“It’s every man for himself during a tower climb,” it explains to us like we’re children, condescension dripping from the words. “I don’t need other people triggering my boss monsters for me, and I certainly don’t need them stealing my candy.”

“But we purified the Ghost of Halloween Present together! It would have sucked as a solo encounter,” I try to reason with him.

“Save your breath,” my reflection says, shaking its head. “We’re going to get the Reaper’s Scythe, and then we’ll finally have the five-star weapon we deserve. Maybe we’ll take a ranking prize nameplate too!”

I look at Marie♥ and Thagomizer. “I’m not going anywhere without you two. I’m sorry that my reflection is being an ass.”

“Sorry,” my reflection repeats. “But we’re not sorry.”

“Yes, we are.”

“Quit being a weenie and embrace your desire for victory.”

“If I have to leave my friends behind, it’s not a victory in the first place.”

“Яagnarok,” Thagomizer interjects. “You’re making it sound like we need you to complete this climb when we’re the ones carrying your weak ass.”

“I didn’t mean it that way.” I sigh. “I like spending time with both of you. I do want that Scythe, but I want to have fun, too.”

“Bzzt, wrong again!” my reflection crows. “We say we want to have fun, but if we don’t get that five-star weapon, we’re going to cry ourselves to sleep. We know you’ll get it, Thagomizer, and we don’t know how we’re going to compete with you once you do. You’re always showing us up. Could you think about our pride for a change?”

Marie♥ takes a step forward. Her reflection takes two steps. She gasps. Her reflection smirks, twisting her beautiful face into something that should never have been. Then, the false Marie♥ brazenly grabs my reflection by the arm.

“I’ll follow you to the top floor,” her reflection tells mine. “You taught me how things work here. I’ll follow you to the world’s end.”

“If you can keep up, you’re welcome to try.” It maintains an aloof attitude that frankly pisses me off. She’s practically confessing her love!

“I just have to drink more of those stamina potions just like you, right?”

“I’ve been saving these for months. Otherwise, you’d have to buy—”

Marie♥’s reflection gets a crazy look in its eyes. “Money’s not an object. I’ll buy enough stamina potions to keep pace with you.”

“Spoken like a true whale.” Thagomizer’s reflection joins the party, grinning. “We’ll make one out of you yet.”

“What did you call me?” Marie♥’s reflection demands.

“A whale. You know, someone who spends a lot of money paying to win? Or spends it all to lose, in Яagnarok’s case?” Her reflection laughs. “I don’t know how it’s possible for someone to keep getting up after being knocked down so many times, but I almost admire him for trying.”

“Thagomizer!” my reflection’s face is red with rage. “This is why I didn’t want to climb with you in the first place.”

“Now now, you two,” Marie♥’s reflection says sweetly— mockingly. The look on her face is uglier than anything I’ve ever seen. What do they call it? Gesugao, a sort of “evil” expression? “You’ll both be eating my dust soon.”

I’m horrified. Our reflections keep spitting out these nasty words and we’re powerless to stop them. Or are we? I charge forward to meet myself, but my reflection holds its ground.

I shove the mirror, causing it to crash to the ground, shattering—

And in its place, instead of shards of glass, a flesh-and-blood facsimile of myself stands triumphant.

“Thanks for setting me free, partner. Now it doesn’t matter how slow you climb, because I’ll still be able to take the Scythe for myself.” It flashes a smile that’s almost charming. “Catch ya later!”

“Don’t you dare leave without me!” Thagomizer’s reflection calls, leaping out of her own frame. “It’ll be a cold day in hell before I come in second to you.”

“You’d leave me behind, too?!” Marie♥’s reflection demands, stepping out and joining the others.

As they argue amongst themselves, I worry they’ll come to blows. Thagomizer’s reflection shoves mine. My reflection sneers back at her. Marie♥’s reflection materializes a stamina potion and chugs it all in one gulp. Like a katamari of limbs, jostling each other and tripping over each other, the three of them make their way to the stairs.

“Should we stop them?” I wonder.

“I don’t think we could if we wanted to,” Marie♥ answers. “They seem pretty determined.”

“That didn’t go down like a cutscene,” Thagomizer says, thinking out loud. I can practically hear the gears in her head turning as she puzzles the event out. “So there are a few possibilities. We might be dealing with a plot twist, or maybe a trial from the Ghost of Halloween Future.”

“So we have to purify ourselves?” I ask.

“Maybe. Maybe not.” Thagomizer concentrates. “It might just be a mirror match versus ourselves. The amount of effort you spend on Halloween is directly proportionate to the difficulty level of the encounter.”

It’s actually pretty creepy walking through the rest of the room without seeing our reflections. I feel like I’m missing a part of myself. Kind of a douchey part, to be honest, but part of me nonetheless.

I notice Marie♥ take her phone out of an impossibly small pocket on her short shorts. She seems really apprehensive, like she’s just read a terrible text.

“Should I buy more stamina potions?”

“Marie♥, what are you talking about? You have a ton of overflow. You’ll probably make it most of the way up without having to refresh yourself,” I speculate.

“But I won’t make it all the way up,” she says slowly. “And I won’t make it up as fast as you and Thagomizer. You’re not going to rest, right?”

“Sure, but not everyone can afford to—”

“Money’s not an object,” she says, repeating her doppelganger’s words. “I want to be like you two. You’re both smart, determined...”

“Don’t buy them until you need them,” Thagomizer cuts her off. I wonder if she’s having trouble taking the compliment. “Make sure you don’t overestimate. The ten-packs are a great deal.”

“Thank you!” She beams.

“We’ll make a proper whale of you yet,” Thagomizer says with a smile.

I feel the weight of my phone in my pocket, whispering its siren song. I will be strong. There’s no need to pull for extra items mid-event, and I’m sure I have enough potions. I can do this. We can do this.

“Now let’s go get those ghosts!”