Emett:

As it turns out, combat was mildly disorienting.

As soon as combat was registered, whatever that meant, I gained an additional awareness of the area around me. While I could still hear and see as normal, I also had a birds-eye view of where everything was. I could “see” Lyn behind me, walking in place with her basket. I could also clearly “see” all of the wolves, and…

Wait, what. Why was Lyn walking in place? Why were the wolves just...tapping their feet? I’d seen dogs do this. Dogs do this when they are extremely excited for something. Were the wolves that excited to have us for lunch? Absolutely horrifying.

There seemed to be a blue glowing square underneath Lyn and I. That was interesting. Also, weird. As I took stock of the full field of battle, it appeared that, somehow, the entire thing fell neatly within a perfect grid of squares.

Also interesting.

Also weird.

“I wonder why the wolves are just standing there dancing,” Lyn wondered aloud.

I glanced back at her. “I wonder why you’re just walking in place right now.”

“I couldn’t tell you, I just know I gotta. Why aren’t you?” Lyn bounced around her square happily. Did she not realize we were about to try to fight off wolves with a stick and some pastries?

“Because that’s ridiculous. Look, if the wolves are just gonna tap at us, I’m just gonna see if I can walk by.” I start taking a step forward.

“I… wouldn’t try that if I were you.” Lyn sounded mildly concerned, and mildly amused.

I didn’t dignify her with a response, and walked confidently forward, about two feet, before my nose squished into what seemed to be an invisible wall at the edge of the blue square that has sprouted beneath me. That wasn’t how I had pictured this going, at all. “What the hell.”

“I told you so,” Lyn giggled. “Look, just get your feet moving and we can start this fight.”

I took a step back, and shot Lyn a dirty look. “How do you know how this works while I don’t?”

Lyn smirked back at me. “A girl’s gotta have her secrets, Emett.”

“Lyn.”

“Fine,” Lyn sighed. “It’s part of The Armsmaster package. I guess I got an intuitive grasp on how all this works, including an intuitive grasp of how my intuitive grasps work. I’m trying not to think about it too hard in case it gets too recursive.”

Why didn’t I get that? That would be really handy. “Wow, Lady of Light, thanks for those particularly enlightening patch notes.”

“Don’t sass the Gods, Emett, they might destroy our village out of spite anyway.”

“Fine. I’ll do the thing.” I awkwardly raised one foot, put it down, then the other. This was truly silly. I was a clown, and Lyn was having a go at me.

ENGAGE

Well I’ll be damned, she was right.I wasn’t the clown. It was the Gods who were the clowns.

My blue square ballooned into a fairly wide range of blue squares. Presumably, as long as I stayed on blue I wouldn’t risk breaking my nose. I rushed forward toward the wolves, expecting them to meet my charge and hoping for the best with my stick.

The wolves did nothing. They simply remained in their place, tipping and tapping. I hadn’t planned on this. They were nowhere close to the edges of my blue area. I couldn’t hit them with my stick. This plan was already in shambles.

I thought back to my status Notice. So hitting them was out of the question. I did have a couple other abilities. Desperate Plea sounded risky, and there was no way I was going to attempt to summon a hostile demon with Desperate Summoning. That would be the height of folly. No, that narrowed it down between Desperate Evocation and Desperate Invocation, and of the two, the lesser downside sounded like…

Desperate Evocation

I knew immediately what I had to do to complete the spell. “Elemental spirits, hear my call! Deliver us from this plight!” I shouted. This was a little extra, but if the wolves were just gonna stand there, I may as well ham it up. Plus, it was kind of fun. “Desperate Evocation!!”

I threw my hand into the air, and the magic answered. Fire streamed from my elbow, down my arm, and into the sky, spreading impossibly as it did so, but left my skin unscorched. Hell, it barely even felt warm. It just existed.

The fire flew into the sky, the stream coiling there, until eventually it settled, forming a long lizard of flames. Its eyes opened, a harsh black against the roiling flames that formed it. A deep voice rang out from it without a mouth opening. “I am Salamander, and I have answered your call, Summoner.” The eyes looked down at the battlefield. “...where is The Summoner?”

I looked up into the sky, awed. “That...would be me.” My voice was shakier than I would have liked it to be, but it’s hard to maintain your confidence in the face of a giant flying fire lizard.

“You?” Salamander’s voice sounded equal parts amused and irate. “The one attempting to do battle with wolves with a branch?”

“Er...yes?” Perhaps I’d made a mistake. It was too late now. I was just going to have to deal with the irritated fire spirit.

A gout of flame erupted from where the spirit’s nostrils would have been. “Very well, I will assist you, under two conditions. First, you shall not make a pact with that damnable Undine before me.”

I nodded. That sounded like a problem for Future Emett to deal with, and I wouldn’t be making any pacts if the wolves killed me here.

“Very well. The second you have no real choice in, but is more of a warning. I shall help as I see fit. You do not control me. On that note…”

He waved one of his arms of fire over the battlefield.

Salamander’s Domain has gripped the battlefield! All combatants gain +5 Power!

Wait, all combatants? Oh, no.

Flamelick

A plume of fire erupted in the forest, where the largest group of wolves were. All of them burned to cinders, leaving only four scattered wolves left for Lyn and I to deal with. That actually was good news. I only had to beat four wolves with a stick, now.

Unfortunately, the four wolves tippy tapped unfortunately close to me. And it seemed with Salamander being resolved, there was nothing holding them back from charging me. They swiftly surrounded me, nipping and biting. I tried to back up only to find the infernal invisible wall back again, locking me in place. One got a solid bite, 9 damage. Then another, 10 damage. A third bite struck home for 9 damage, with the fourth only narrowly missing after I pulled my leg away at the last second.

Emett’s HP: 9/37

I fell to one knee, in a crouch. Okay, so my HP doesn’t go far at all. Good to know. Far enough for now, though.

“Lyn, I hope you can do something, because wolf teeth hurt.” I called out, staring at the wolves, once again tapping menacingly.

“Oh, I’ve got something kicking around in here somewhere,” she returned, rummaging through her basket. What was she planning to do, throw a piece of bread at the wolves? I was fairly sure we were past that. She apparently finds what she was looking for. “Hey, Emett, Catch!”

Hey, Catch!

Lyn threw something at me, but I couldn’t see what it was. Despite my condition, I was able to catch it easily, as if it were guided into my hands by magic. Given the Notice, there was a good chance it might have been. I looked at it, and found it to be a black metal ball about the size of a cantaloupe. That was...weird. What was this, and how would it help?

I found the fuse at the same time I heard the hissing. What. What. Had my little sister just thrown a-

The world was noise and chaos and fire as I blacked out.