《Vanilla》4. Running From God
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Sorry, life happened. I’m back though.
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When the space around you closes in on you-- when the air itself tries to crush you, you would expect that there would be some sort of resistance when you tried to move around.
Strangely, that wasn’t the case.
I could freely move around without interference.
Even though the air itself was crushing against me.
Even though a god wanted to kill me.
…
Must be a failure of a god.
Such was the only logical conclusion.
To be unable to strike down a puny mortal who interfered with the plans of a divine being.
Not only to interfere, but to outright kill such a god’s messenger.
And to escape without so much as a scratch.
The only logical conclusion is thus.
The god must be a failure.
Nai waa~ 1
Even among gods, there are excelling figures and failures.
Wait, I thought gods were omniscient and all powerful? Clearly not here.
Hmm, if I were a god, I would probably tell my followers that I was omniscient and invincible.
Hah
Life is full of mysteries, isn’t it.
Well then, I must do what any sane, rational person would do in this scenario.
I raise both middle fingers to the skies and laugh wildly.
“Hahahaha, is this some kind of a joke? If you’re a god, then I must be your manager! Ahahaha! If I knew you were this useless, I would have just left the mage alone and waited for more chosen ones to appear!”
“Haha, do your best to kill me! If one comes, I’ll kill one! If a hundred come, I’ll kill a hundred!”
Suddenly, a warning came up.
[Level 2 Reprisal Warning: A cross-floor attack has been initiated on you. Current Special Forces delegated: ]
[Level 2 Reprisal Warning: A cross-floor attack has been initiated on you. Current Special Forces delegated: ]
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[Level 2 Reprisal Warning: A cross-floor attack has been initiated on you. Current Special Forces delegated: ]
…
…
The numbers began to rapidly rise.
Hey…
Those are rather big numbers.
Maybe I misjudged. This god might be a bit powerful after all.
Wait, there’s still that book and staff from the goblin mage!
I ran to the corpse and stripped it of everything.
Huh, what does this ring do?
「Augmentation System Analysis (ASA): A excess mana storage device. Will drain mana from or to the user until the %capacities match. Can store 513 units of mana.」
ASA?
How convenient.
The convenience is strong in this one.
Let’s be good friends, little ring!
What if I run an ASA on the staff?
ASA.
Work.
ASA Staff.
…
Hmm. How to I get this to work?
How did I get it to work with the ring?
Uhh…
That’s a good question.
How did I do that?
Wait. I know.
I asked what it does.
Hahaha, I went full goldfish there for a second.
I tried the tactic.
What does this staff do?
「Augmentation System Analysis (ASA): A channelling device with magic circuits pre built into it. Channelling mana will activate the magic, no skill required. Current configured spell: 〖Siege Fireball〗Cost: 50 units.」
Huh, so this is the thing that the goblin used to one shot the village structures.
I looked around and admired the smoldering heaps of building materials around me.
The fireballs move super slow though, so they’re probably useless against people… unless they’re so tightly packed that they can’t dodge.
I checked the cross-floor attack notification.
Almost 500 now.
This is bad…
What does this book do?
PleasebeusefulPleasebeusefulPleasebeuseful…
「Augmentation System Analysis (ASA): The gospel of Tamit. The tale of his heroic deeds and ensuing ascension is told. It is said that he has a thousand wives. Flint-notes. Chapter Summary. Characters. Themes. Motifs and Symbols. Miscellaneous Information.」
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How big is my mana pool?
「Augmentation System Analysis (ASA): Your mana pool has a size of 50 units and regenerates at 0.3/minute. Time required to regenerate 50 units: 02:46:40. Current Capacity: 50/50 」
I channelled my mana and watched silently as the book was consumed by the ensuing explosion.
How regrettable.
…
Huh, so I should have full mana in two minutes. Strange that the milliseconds were listed.
Wait a second.
Waiwaiwaiwaiwait.
How much mana do I have?
「Augmentation System Analysis (ASA): You currently have 0 units of mana.」
What’s my mana regeneration rate?
「Augmentation System Analysis (ASA): Your mana regeneration rate is 0.3/minute. Time required to regenerate 50 units: 02:46:40. Current Capacity: 50 」
Aww shit.
Mistakes were made.
That’s not two minutes and forty six seconds.
That’s two hours and forty six minutes!
Buyer’s remorse just set in…
What should I do?
Uhhh…
…
Well, if one pokes a hornet’s nest and then finds out that he has run out of insecticide, one has no choice…
But to flee.
I immediately scramble into action.
I throw all the stuff into a bag I found. I also stuff a large boar leg into the bag and grab a small barrel of drink.
Time to go!
Screw this place.
Screw this god.
Screw this cross-floor attack.
Most of all, screw my mana regeneration!
[Level 2 Reprisal Warning: Special Forces have finished amassing. A total of units have been deployed.]
[README: Special Forces will not be obstructed in any way by the normal dungeon monsters.]
Nai wa.
I know I said that I would kill a hundred…
But doesn’t seven hundred seem… a little high?
How much mana do I have?
「Augmentation System Analysis (ASA): You currently have 0.7 units of mana.」
I hefted the barrel of drink a little higher and redoubled my speed.
I’ll be damned if I have to drop my food!
God…
One day I’ll make you pay!
----
Omg google docs formatting copies perfectly wtf this is gr8 i r8 revolver out of revolver.
This may seem like an atheist author’s incessant bashing of religion, but it really isn’t. It’s just the set-up for a future arc. 
))
1 Full weeb ‘No way’
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