Chapter 12 : Zion

*Gurgles* *Gurgles*

"...hungry."

Stroking my flat stomach, this Zee is very troubled. It's been three days since this girl became a vampire. And from those three days until now, all I have experienced is something beyond my expectations.

While looking at the ceiling, I thought. When reading vampire novels, of course, there is also their share of sufferings. Ranging hot fever and overwhelming hunger to the point of going out of control is everywhere. There are also many varieties of different bodily changes. Like some novels totally change the whole anatomy of vampires that they could only drink blood and could not eat human food. There's also some that, well allow vampires to eat and enjoy many delicacies, and only drink blood for restoring their strength and power.

Zion de Valle is a NEET that read so many supernatural and fantasy novels but for some reason, I finally realized that no matter how realistic those protagonists’ reactions and behavior were, when you're really facing all those predicaments...everything will become useless.

Having a mob, NEET protagonists is very trending these days’ novels, manga, and anime. No matter how OP they are, of course they have to overcome psychological burdens due to sudden changes in their lives.

Many of those mob, NEET characters depend on their own knowledge from all the novels, manga, and anime they read and watched. Let's add the games as well.

Nevertheless, I, Zion de Valle could testify, that all of those were d*mn nonsense! (ノ｀Д´)ノ彡┻━┻

That's right! This reader read so many of those novels as well. Even I, up to now still can't help but believe that I am now becoming a son character of my own story.

I said that not because of my eight-grade syndrome is recurring, but because this girl is god*mn suffering!

Main characters...all of them suffered whether they are villains or the hero. That's the only thing that I could say is true when it came to those novels.

When you really stand in those protagonists' position, really, you won't be able to think at all. And even if you did think...how the hell will you be able to apply all those things in real life!

Personality wise, it’s all Impossible!

Ah, what about character development! That's even more absurd! And even if there is that development...what? there is still a long length of time for the protagonist to suffer and reflect. Character development happens when a character undergoes tribulation!

It's like getting struck by lightning tribulation and ascending. You have to suffer first!

But many who underwent tribulations died– they were called cannon fodders. They don't change, so they just died. Main Characters we're all flexible, and prone to changes. They adapted well; they weren't called main characters for nothing.

More so, I don't think protagonist Halo and plot armor can be applied in reality, unless this friggin’ world is just a novel.

*Gurgles* *Gurgles*

"...I'm hungry and I wanted to eat..." But I can't, ah! Speaking is so tiresome. Moving is so troublesome. Thinking is a pain, even more so, doing everything I can to lessen what I hear is truly burdensome.

Although I'm hungry, I still couldn't feel anything...only hunger. I could still feel cold, a little bit, but pain...I don't know. It’s painful though, when I eat human food and vomit it out. Wow~ human food just came out really smooth, thinking about it. It was truly torturous, and only masochists would do those repeatedly. But I think even for a masochist, that experience was truly not fun.

I'm even wondering whether or not I turned into a zombie or a vampire. Both were dead, but zombies are decomposing corpses while the vampire is a preserved corpse that can only become more and more beautiful when drinking blood.

Hehe. Zee confirmed it. I think this is the only thing worth being a vampire. Forever youthful. I checked and I saw all my scars and birthmarks disappeared. My skin also became much smoother and whiter. It's like I was injected by gluta, turning my skin whiter than chalk. It's sickly, pale white, like I was a frozen corpse.

*Gurgles* *Gurgles*

Sighing deeply, I can't help but frown my brows wanting to dig out my stomach to stop it from complaining. I pursed my lips feeling a sense of urgency. Maybe, this is anxiety. It's like something is going to happen if I don't solve my problem soon.

But no matter how I feel, I just can't help it. I don't know what to do. I wasted all my time reading all those novels for nothing. It's like seeing things you don't usually use, but when the time comes, you have to use that thing. Suddenly you find out it is now gone...

*Gurgles* *Gurgles*

Still, I don't think I cut out being a protagonist. Within these three days, although I only felt pain and torture when I eat, I could already see myself slowly growing tired and exhausted. This kind of life is really futile. I can't even read my novel because I feel hungry and weak.

I even wished to have my eyes to never open again. But then, I thought that, what if that wish came true but I am still alive, then I am the one who will truly suffer. Everything in my body could go disappeared, except my eyes and my hands.

How could I read if I don't have my sight anymore? There are too many dilemmas going on inside my head and I just couldn't bring myself to solve them one by one.

Just then, while thinking, a loud sound stabs right through my ears piercing its way in my brain. I immediately cover my ears, so tight, I almost scream. But I bite my tongue and endure.

Being a vampire ranks up my senses. My eyes could see through the night, as clear as the day. My ears could hear clearly from miles away, like they were talking just beside me. My sixth sense– perception perhaps. They became more alert and sensitive. So, now I kinda understand paranoid people. Every night, every day, every suspicious sound I heard, became my enemies. Coupled with my wild and colorful imagination, if not for my sane mind, I will surely surrender myself in mental hospital these three days.

They might be awesome, when you read them in creative literature. Sights that could see into the night, hearing that could hear clearly far and wide. Ability that could detect and sense even an invisible person.

But actually, they're not...

I could see within the dark just like how I could see in the day. However, for some reason, when the sun is up, it is opposite of that. My sight became blurry as they were, before I became like I am now.

My hearing...I can't control what I could hear and what I wanted to hear. Sounds beat my ear drums, and it hurts like hell.

I am a fledgling that didn't know anything. I am both hungry and weak. This torture is unbearable...and this makes me want to give up living more and more.

Then when I closed my eyes, my ears could only receive more deafening sounds. What maddens me more is the loud noise I always hear downstairs. My hearing upgrades every day. The first day, it didn't bother me so much. But as days went by, not only did the changes in my body integrate in my soul, the instinct of a vampire influence me more and more.

I wanted to drink blood. I wanted to bite...my teeth itch and ache. I tried biting my wrist already, just to satisfy my desire to bite even a little bit. But I seem to have made a wrong move. Every time I bite my wrist, I just keep wanting more...

My skin is cold, and I don't have blood much left in my body. Every bite heals for about a day. My regeneration ability is slow and this really eats up my meager energy. And just a while ago, I did it again. And my arms are full of bite marks. Holes without any blood. Not even a drop. That creepy woman really sucks me dry that night.

And now this! I really wanted to cry! I wanted to scream! Yet I endure, endure, endure. I could only curl my body and cover up my ears tightly trying to filter up that crazy noise downstairs.

I gritted my teeth and bit my tongue, stopping myself to think. Not one word was registered in my mind. But I knew it was news being broadcast on TV. Only that old man watches news that loud in this household.

I calmed my mind and my ranging irritation, even swallowing the anger building up in my belly. Even the intense hunger I'm feeling was forgotten.

I need to calm myself or else my instinct might overthrow me. But I know enduring it will become my demise someday. All these pent-up emotions will explode one day. However, my stubbornness keeps me hiding them away.

I curled up my body more, as I felt colder. Weakness is overwhelming me, and I don't really know what to do. If only they knew, I wouldn't suffer this much. Maybe they can help me...should I tell?

I keep hesitating. But as hesitation filled my mind, hope kept filling in as well. Nevertheless, a coward is a coward.

I am scared...

Tears dropped from my closed eyes. Despair embraced me. I no longer know what to think. I clenched my fists on my ears, I gritted my teeth, and tightly shut my eyes.

Then...

*Knock* *Knock* *Knock*

["Hey. Zee. Are you still sleeping? It's already night time. Seriously, are you really sleeping?"]

As if cold water poured over my head, I subconsciously gasped and abruptly opened my eyes. Seemingly like a thief being caught in the act, I panicked. My mind blank out and I just stared out dazedly at the air.

Even amidst those deafening sounds of tv from below, I could still distinguish my older sister's voice and could decipher every word that came out from her mouth.

She's right outside of my door...

Then I heard her knock and shout again.

I wanted to ignore it, but I'm afraid of them getting suspicious. I don't really know what's my problem...my life seems to be full of drama since I came out of the house for the first time after two years.

But I can't die by my own hands either. Death as far as I know, is nothing to me. I could accept that. But as a coward, I can't kill myself. Even more so, I'm afraid of becoming an even more burden to my family. I hate my weaknesses.

Why am I even alive anyway?

Yet I stood up, gathering my strength. I inhale and exhale trying hard to breathe like normal. At the same time, every time I step, my skin changes. From pale white to a slight healthy coloring. I learned this after persistent practicing. It's forcefully circulating the little bit of blood left in my body. Vampires really have great affinity to blood. Concentrating on the areas visible, I can make my skin look as healthy as they looked when I am still alive.

Yesterday was the first time I used this very practical ability, when my older sister intruded in my room. Thanks to this, as of now they still didn't know that my race was changed. They may be suspicious of my behavior but it doesn't matter. It's not like I could hide my circumstances forever.

Let them worry about me. Let them guess what I'm going through. Anyway, it's not like I could just tell them everything by myself. "Lo and behold, I am now a vampire!" I can't just shout that to them.

I walked towards the door of my room with my head still buzzing and dizzy from the loud sounds.

I walked closer and closer. The door is just a few steps away from my bed, but I felt like the door and my bed were far apart.

While I continued moving forward, I noticed the buzzing in my head stopped. Feeling bewildered, I halted. Everything was wrapped by silence, I can't help but feel delighted about it. I don't know what happened, but I wanted this silence. I thought of closing my eyes to feel more of this silence, when I heard another sound.

Thump, thump, thump, thump.

It's been a while since I heard this familiar sound. This is a live beating sound of a heart. Warm blood flows through the vein being pump by that beating heart. It sounded so beautiful, so mesmerizing...

I walked deliriously to where the sound came from. I could hear it. It's calling out to me. Thump, thump, thump. Unconsciously, I opened my mouth slightly, revealing most of my front teeth and especially, my newly formed fangs. They weren't sharp, unlike the two sharp long pointy teeth of that creepy woman. These two fangs are still growing. They were very sensitive, and right now, both of them were so itchy, I feel like biting something.

Thump, thump, thump. That beat is still calling for me. How great would it be if I could hold onto that beating heart. I lick my dried lips, then my front teeth. My black eyes looked eager as I stared at the door where I could sense the sound is coming from. I didn't know that my eyes were now glowing frightening red, gazing intently at the door without blinking. It's as if I couldn't wait to tear that door apart and plunge my hand towards that warm chest so that I could hold onto that beating heart...and eat it...in one go...

*Gulp*

I reached out my hand and held the door knob. Thump, thump, thump– the sound is much louder than before. The thing I want is just behind this door. I really wanted it. I tried twisting the door knob, but failed. My grip is so weak that they just slide as I twisted it, creating a distinct sound.

It's as if, the person outside heard it, she once again shouted, ["Hey Zee! Still not coming for the door?"] And this shout finally awakened me.

My hand holding the door knob trembled and my legs softened. I almost went down on my knees. If I were a normal human now, cold sweat would drench me furiously. Fortunately, or unfortunately, this girl no longer produced sweat. Except for tears, my sweat glands are now rendered useless.

I didn't think much more. I hurriedly tidied myself and opened the door. Immediately, I saw my big sis. I scratched the back of my head, and looked at her in question.

"What's up?"

I saw my big sis lifting up one of her brows as she looked at me. I could feel her eyes observing me from top to bottom. But that didn't make me falter.

"Did you forget what we talked about yesterday?"

I looked at her confused. The hell is she talking about. Many things happen every day for me. And a day for me feels like a week. I only remember her intruding my room yesterday and stayed here for hours. Because of unpleasant feelings in my body, not one word was registered in my brain. So, this girl totally didn't know what this older sister was talking about.

She sighed and reminded, "I'm talking about you selling your works online. I'm talking with my boyfriend about it now. Just giving you a heads up. By the way, have you eaten dinner?"

Startled by her words I almost shouted "no! Why'd you sell those things online?!" in reflex. Thankfully, I'm so weak to shout right now. I could only agree with a scowled pasted in my face. Then I told her I already ate and finally drove her away.

"Fine. Just ready your goods, alright. Tomorrow is Monday, so, next Saturday, I want all of them ready. I will take a picture of them one by one when that time comes, okay?"

"Yeah. Yeah. Go. Go. Go. I'll make you your Christmas dress for your date with Francisco in December. I'll design you a black dress."

"Dare used black in my dress or I'll post your pictures on FB. I want royal blue. Okay!"

"Sure~"

Bam!

After closing the door, my knees finally gave in and I fell on the floor. I stopped my fake breathing. Finally, I can't help but weep silently.

I cover my face and cry.

Everything is wrong...

I seem to want to eat someone’s heart, instead of drinking blood.

What to do. My instinct is also going stronger and stronger. I might not be able to control myself the second time I went out of my mind.

I stopped crying after a while. I stared at the air and blocked out all my thoughts.

But in my heart, I knew I already made a decision.

I may not have the courage to tell them my circumstances...

Still, Zion isn't born timid.

I could still resolve this.

Maybe I could lessen the symptoms of my growing Instinct.

Let's go for a night hunt.