《The Journey of a Lazy Magician》Chapter 5: An excellent archer who can't hit a target

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“Oh? That’s impressive.”

Currently, we are in the firing range. A place where novice archers hone their talents. Thank god the entry here is free but renting the bow and arrow needs money though so we just used Kyle’s.

To why I said that compliment to someone as defiled as her? Well, believe it or not, she managed to hit the farthest target currently available. A 3 kilometre target, It was quite a feat.

What makes it more amazing is the fact that it was windy as well and the sun shine brightly that it should’ve hindered her eyesight and make her loose aim but she managed to pull it through.

It’s a bullseye at that.

“Told you I’m good.”

She proudly stated towards me. Rather than acknowledging her, I’d like to do the opposite.

“Hello good, I’m Isaac.”

“Wow, you seriously said a dad joke?”

Well whatever I say, I can’t say that she’s bad if she can do this. Did my luck went backwards this time for me to have gained an almost praise worthy teammate? Is my act of appreciating the thing called garbage as a source for food made the hearts of the Gods melt because of my unprecedented act? Must be so.

Of course it is! Hehehe.

Excluding her annoying personality, she’s a very experienced archer. Her arrows even glew brighter than 50 candles. It’s the mark of an experienced archer.

I can do that much too if I summon a lightning bolt to hit an area using basic water and air manipulation spells but I’ll let her take the front stage here. After all, everyone has the need to feel that they’re good at something every once in a while.

“I bet you can’t even hit a mere 200 meter target with your spells, huh? I think you’re just jealous of my range and accuracy. Hahaha!”

She elbowed me while teasing me.

Calm down… Think of her as someone stupid… right. That always calms me down.

Zen. Alright…

And so an image of her tripping on a banana peel appeared in my head.

“Well that is to be expected for someone who only knows basic spells and is too afraid to even learn anything more high tier than that.”

Just then, a small cloud formed out of nowhere and hit the 3 km target and turned it into ash in an instant.

Also in an instant, we were banned from entering that firing range again.

┬─┬ノ( º _ ºノ)

“What did you do that for!?”

“What do you mean!? You hurt my feelings as a magician! You don’t just go and say to a magician that they lack stronger spells! Like I said, I can do all sorts of combos using only basic spells like what you just saw before.”

“By what you mean for feelings is ego, right?”

This girl…

Hmm… Why don’t I just dumb her in the river until she learns her lesson? Nah that might get added in my offenses. I’m considering it though…

“Hey, what are you thinking just now?”

“How to drown you in the most inconspicuous way possible.”

“Eh? Wait, you want to—”

“There it is. The adventurers’ guild. A place I only visited like twice in my whole years of living here in this place.”

And so I cut her off strategically.

“So you mean you’re a shut in?”

“Eat this mushroom.”

I took out a fungus known to kill a war elephant in a single bite. It grows in my house by the way.

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“W-wait! Please don’t order me to do that! I’m sorry, alright!?”

I want to throw her off a cliff!!!!

Huh…

Anyway.

The sun is at the verge of setting so not many people are currently here. Only those who wanted to collect their reward.

While Kyle is still clinging on me in a pathetic attempt to forgive her, we entered the adventurers’ guild. People with plated armour filled the place. Laughter and joyful cheering could be heard inside as the adventurers who had done something tiring, were handed their compensation. Ah… such joyous atmosphere. It would be great if there isn’t a crying girl clinging on me and managed to attract the attention of everyone around here.

“…Oi, isn’t that the con man everyone’s talking about?”

“Yeah, I heard he didn’t contribute anything in the battle against the invading demons but still managed to get his reward.”

”What a scum…”

I’m used to the judgemental gazes of people and their repetitive comments about me so it doesn’t matter. But then…

“What’s with that girl?”

“Did he tricked her into making her as his slave? Considering his reputation, maybe it’s that.”

“Oh? How cruel.”

… How did they know…?

…I don’t know why but I feel like a twisted smile just formed on Kyle’s face…

“You know, I can use this opportunity to tarnish you reputation even more.”

Is what Kyle whispered to me.

“Is this a threat? Pathetic. If you do that then it will be a major setback in our part. Having a terrible reputation has huge disadvantages. Do you want to do that to me, the one you wanted the help of to do whatever it is you want to do?”

“Actually, I changed my mind and it’s not because of what you said.”

Right then, she loosened her grip on my clothes and obediently stood on my side.

What a good girl… is what I would say if she doesn’t have such a loose mouth.

We hurried towards the girl in the desk. I believe she’s the one who gives out the quests.

For some reason, she was slightly taken aback when she saw us but regained her composure and gave as a warm smile.

“You’re here to get a request, yes? Honestly, I didn’t expect that anyone would take a quest so late in the afternoon but if you wanted to then its fine. There are some takes quests as late as midnight even.”

Really? Never would’ve thought that people would actually sacrifice their good night sleep for a pay check. What a bunch of idiots. Don’t they know that a solid 12 hours of sleep is very important?

“We do want to take a quest. Is there anything available?”

“Hmm… Unfortunately, you seem to have a negative reputation so major quests are out of the question. But don’t worry. We treat every adventurers that helps others for a living equally and that includes people we slightly bad reputations. Although the only thing available as of right now and within your limitations is a quest to hunt for wolves for their pelts. Will that be fine?”

Yeah sure. Treat every adventurers equally. Having a narrower selection of quests is definitely equal.

I think I know why she said that though. That’s because a pair of ample breasts! I can never trust people with that kind of bewbs! Flat is justice and those who disagree is a trash beyond belief!

“Oh? Yes that is fine. We are just looking for a little stroll just to test out our compatibility.”

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After concealing my true feelings regarding her breast size, she looked at Kyle who is picking her nose and back at me again and uneasily said the instructions and details.

“Um… right. Your job is to kill 5 wolves cleanly and bring the pelt back to us and we will send the pelts to the one who requested it… Sir, please stop looking at my breast. It’s making me rather uncomfortable.”

And Kyle, who stared at me the entire time, giggle like a maniac like she expected it to happen.

Eh? Why do I feel like kicking her right now?

“I… Um… sorry. I’ll stop looking.”

“Don’t worry, it’s alright. It just makes me slightly uncomfortable. Would you like directions to the area where the wolves generally are seen?”

“…N-no. We’re fine.”

She gave me a nod and said the pleasantries before we departed. Of course, all female adventurers in the guild house looked at me like I’m some trash. Well, all except for this fellow besides me who is laughing her butt off like it was the best joke she had ever heard in her entire life.

If it is then then man, how did she lived her life so pathetically?

And as we were heading towards the plains…

“Ahahahaha!!! What’s up with that!? I never would’ve thought that you’re a pervert who likes big breasts!”

“Sh-shut up! I am in no way a pervert! Plus, accusing me of liking big breasts? That’s heresy of my religion!”

“Oh? What’s your religion then?”

“…I-t’s not important…”

“Hey! Tell me! You made me curious and now you must take responsibility and tell—“

“Look, we’re here.”

Thank god the place isn’t too far away! I was almost cornered.

A sigh of relief escaped my mouth and as I inhaled, cool air entered my lungs. The smell of dew lingered in the air and the sound of courtship of insects resonates around us. Yes, the grassy field is but a real representation of peace.

I looked at the sky and it’s already falling towards the west. It’s still isn’t dark but soon enough, it will be.

And there close to the forest is where the wolves usually reside in.

“Let’s get started. I’ll lure them out and you go and kill them.”

She nodded earnestly with a serious face. I really would like it if she’s like this all the time.

I threw a rock at the wolves and one came out. It’s eyes are locked on me.

I threw another rock to agitate it and ti worked. It’s now going at me at full speed.

“Now go and shoot it.”

“Um…”

“Just shoot it. Its fur isn’t that hard for an arrow to enter it.”

“A-Alright…!”

A dull glowing arrow shot out of her bow and had hit the wolf.

When I say hit, I actually meant that it only grazed its fur making it more cautious.

The distance between me and the wolf is shortening.

“What was that? You can hit a 3 kilometre target but can’t hit a moving one with like a distance of 60 to 80 metres?”

“…Erm…”

“You can’t be serious…?”

“I’m trying, alright!? I-I just can’t judge the position all that well… when it’s moving…”

Are you kidding me?

Did I just gotten myself a half-assed archer in my party?

Do I have to do something just to make this wolf’s movement stop? Ugh…

Before the wolf can even reach me, I stopped its movement using earth manipulation spell.

“…Shoot it.”

A glowing arrow escaped the bow and hit the wolf dead center.

1 down, 4 to go but…

“Why can’t you hit a moving target…?”

“W-well, I only practiced shooting immobile targets all my life so…”

“Neither did I. Actually, I barely practiced on my aim and I can still manage to hit a moving target with my eyes closed!”

“That’s because you use magic to do that, you cheater!”

“Preposterous! I-I never do such a thing… But anyway, we’re talking about you! Archers should have inherit judgement regarding moving targets and even if they don’t have that, they can use magic too to increase their aim!”

Isn’t she on the verge of tears when I said that?

“That’s because I still don’t know how to use magic! You think a newbie like me can learn magic without prior experience!?”

“What a pathetic excuse for an archer!”

“Eh!? M-meanie! I-I’m trying my best… *hic* and you can’t appreciate that… *hic* WAAAHH!”

…. Eh?

Is she crying right now?

Just then, a pack of wolves sprinted at us when they heard her cry like a freaking banshee.

…What had I gotten myself into…?

(╯°□°)╯︵ ┻━┻

“…stop your weeping please…”

“…I-I-It’s b-because…*hic* Isaac hurt my feelings *hic*.”

Shouldn’t I be the one who should be crying from all the crap I’ve gotten myself into…?

Ha…

In the end, I’m the one who killed off the wolves. Got us an extra 2 furs due to how efficient her cry is for luring them out.

Currently, I gave Kyle a lap pillow which should be me to be having a lap pillow from how stories I’ve read went to but whatever.

My pants are soaked from all her tears.

And finally, the crying stopped and removed herself from my very exclusive lap pillow.

Wiping away her tears, she spoke:

“You’re quite a powerful magician even if you only knew the basic spells. I was right to join you.”

“What’s with this all of the sudden?”

She hugged her knees and looked at the sunset.

“Aren’t you getting what I’m saying? I’m obviously complimenting you, you idiot.”

“…Oi.”

“Also, cried there just to see you fight. Do you really think that I didn’t anticipate that you would use me just so you won’t be having the need to do anything? But then again, you actually bought it. Is my crying really that convincing? Haha.”

“…Oi!”

“Well I’m digressing. You aren’t as lazy as I heard you would be. That is if you were pushed to give it a little effort. And looks like now, I would be the one who would give you that push.”

I, like her, hugged my knees and looked at the sunset.

“…I actually pushed myself in the past. I got tired of it and now, when I became an adventurer, I convinced myself that I never would want to work ever again. I never wanted to work due to that and some other reason.”

“Oh? Well, you can’t have that kind of mind set from now on since I’ll be needing help to actually hit something. Don’t worry, once it’s immobile, I can shoot its vitals and kill it with at least 1 to 3 hits or so.”

She flashed me a smile as if that was very impressive and reassuring.

“A huh…? Don’t expect much from me though.”

“Don’t worry, I won’t. Especially from someone who wasted his life studying and learning every basic spell in existence.”

Then her proud smile turned into a mocking one.

And just like how her smile transformed in an instant, my hand took form of a fist and nudged her head.

“Aw…Er… sorry. Hehe.”

I just hope the symptoms won’t be visible that much…

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