《My Diary》A Victim [Jyoti’s POV]
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[Jyoti Sharma's POV]
This is real.
This is real.
This is real.
Mehak's isn't joking about murdering Rohan, she is very serious about this. Bu-But if she wants to kill Rohan then she can go ahead and do it, then why me? Why do I have to do it? I mean, I did say that I would anything she asks bu-b-but to kill someone? I will just become a murderer. The police will come after me, I would be thrown into jail, then, then......... then what about mom and dad?
But if I don't do anything, will I be able to escape from here? ........NO, chances of that happening are absolutely zero.
Then do-do I have to ki-kill someone for my freedom? Bu-But that's just, that's just ....... how will I be able to live with myself in the future, what would mom and dad think, when they find out that their daughter is a murderer. People will scorn my parents for my wrongdoings. I will spend my entire life in prison, away from everyone, just sitting alone in my prison cell and dying just like that.
I don't want that kind of life, I want a life without any regrets. Then should I not kill Rohan? Yes, let's not kill him. I can't do it myself. If Mehak kills Rohan herself there is no problem with me, but to do it myself? I know it's just hypocritical of me, bu-but I don't want to become a murderer........... but then, what would happen to me now? If I don't do anything will I also die here?.......yeah, that's most likely the case and I won't become a murderer if that happens but then what about reconciling with mom and dad?.
AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH! .
What to do?.
What to do?.
What to do?.
In both ways, I would die with regrets.
In both ways, mom and dad would be sad.
Is my thinking wrong? Is life without regrets not possible? Can't normal people like me have a life that is not filled with regret?.
Is having my life filled with regret only way of living?.
I don't want to think anymore, it's exhausting to think.
"You can have a life without any regret".
HUH?! Who said that? was it Mehak?
"You can live your entire life without any regrets".
It is Mehak! What the hell is she saying? Life without regret?.
How does she know what I was thinking right now? Did she read into my mind? Does she have some sort of supernatural powers? What's with that thin and elegant smile on her face, her eyes focused on me seems like they know everything about me.
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"How?" I spoke without thinking, probably because I want to know how is life without regret possible.
"Good girl, that's the spirit. You are probably thinking that 'I don't want to become a murderer' right?".
HOW DOES SHE KNOW!!!?.
"Y-ye-yes" I spoke with a little hesitation.
"Don't worry, you won't become a murderer. After all, you are just saving your life, everything you are doing is in self-defense. No one is going to blame you".
"No one is going to blame me? But why? I did commit a murder" I don't why but seeing that caring expression on Mehak's face makes me want to spill everything inside of my mind out.
"You are just a victim, you are only being toyed by me the perpetrator. I am the one responsible for everything. You didn't do anything wrong."
"NO! I did something wrong my tailing Mayuri and finding out about the secret" I just want to tell her everything, that way we might be able to come to an understanding.
"Nope, that was our fault for not being careful. You didn't do anything wrong. From the start till the end you will just be a victim"
"Victim" I am just a victim? I didn't do anything wrong?
"Yes, You are nothing but a poor victim"
"I might be able to buy it but the police won't buy that, my parents won't buy that, society won't buy that. They all would think of me as a murderer" otherwise I would have killed Rohan and safely get out of this place.
"Hahaha, how cute" she is laughing, she's laughing like she heard a bad joke.
"What! Why are you laughing!?" somehow it's making me mad and embarrassed.
"Sorry, Sorry I just couldn't hold myself back but what would they not buy?" she asked with a confused face.
What the heck! "Me becoming a murderer!"
"Huh? But how would they know you were forced to kill a person?"
HUH!? They wouldn't find out? Wait, wait, wait, now that I think about it, only ones who know about it are me and these sisters. Of course, no one will find out if they throw his body into the ocean.
It's this simple, then why couldn't I think about it?
.....................Ahhhh, I see, I just didn't want to think about that possibility. I don't have the courage to uphold my words or thoughts. But can you blame me!? All this is just way too crazy. There are some fucked up people telling me to kill someone, of course, I don't have the courage to do that but I also know that if I don't do that then there may be no future for me and just like Mehak said it's not like anyone will find out.
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Yeah, even if they find out it's not like I did anything wrong. It's just that someone has to die for my life to be saved. It's the law of equivalent exchange. Yeah, I am not doing anything wrong, the ones in the wrong are these sisters. They are the ones that are evil, I am just a victim.
Yeah, it just couldn't be helped. After all, just like Mehak said, I am nothing but a pitiful victim.
I am a Victim.
I am a Victim.
I am a Victim.
"Seems like you figured something out, I will release one of your arms and hand over the knife to you. Then you will kill the boy. Seems alright?" FUCK, FUCK, FUCK, she's scary, how can she say those things without feeling anything? Does she even have feelings? Yeah, she's the one that is inhumane. I am human, I am just a Victim.
"Oh and don't try anything funny. I will give you 1 minute if during that you try to do anything funny, then you will find a knife sticking out of your neck and if you don't kill him within 1 minute, then you will be the one to die. It seems fair, right?" I am just a victim, I am just a victim, don't listen to her words, I am just a victim who is being forced to do something.
She opened the bind on my left hand and handed me her knife. Now she's just standing a little away from me with a new knife in her hand, seems like she will throw it at my neck the moment I try anything funny.
But I won't do anything like that, I don't want to die, I am just a victim here.
"1" I am just a victim.
"2" I am just a victim.
"3" I am just a victim.
"MMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMM..........MUUUUUUUUUU"
"4" Mehak is evil.
"5" Mehak is evil.
"6" Mehak is evil.
"NNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNN"
"7" Mayuri is evil.
"8" Mayuri is evil.
"9" Mayuri is evil.
"HNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNN..........MMMMMMMMMM"
"10" I am not doing anything wrong.
"11 .... 12 ..... 13 ....14 .....15 .....16......17 .......18 ......19 ......20 ......21 ......22 ......23 .....24 .....25 ......26 .....27 .....28 .....29 ......30" I am not doing anything wrong, I am not doing anything wrong, I am not doing anything wrong.
Nothing "31" can be done "32" about it. This is "33" the only ch "34" voice that I have. These "35" sisters are the ones "36" to blame. They are the "37" ones who messed up my "38" life. They are the ones who "39" who made me kill "40" Rohan.
Rohan, Rohan, Rohan! "41" don't look at me with those eyes "42", you would have done the same "43" thing. Don't look at me like I am some "44" disgusting creature. These sisters "45" are the ones that are disgusting. They are the cause of it "46" all. So, don't think bad about me Rohan, "47". I want to live that's why "48", I am being forced to that's why "49", that's why, that's why don't "50" LOOK AT ME LIKE THAT!.
Don't show me those eyes "51"
"GGGGGGGGGGGGGGGG......UUUUUUUUUUUU"
Shaking your head won't help "52"
"NNNNN, NNNNN, NNNNN, NNNNNN, NNNNNN"
I am sorry, I am just a victim "53"
I am sorry, I am just a victim "54"
I lifted the knife over my shoulders, "55" Rohan is just shaking his body like a lunatic, begging me with those eyes "56"
"MMM, MMM, NNN, MNNNN, MNNNN, MNNNNNNNNNNNNN"
I am sorry, I am sorry, I am sorry "57", I am sorry, I am sorry, I am sorry, I am sorry "58".
"N, N, N, N, N, N, N, N, N, N, N, N, N, N, N, N, N, N, N, N, N, N, N, N, N, NNNNNNNNN "
Forgive me, Forgive me, Forgive me "59" I AM JUST A VICTIM! *THWACK* ........... I-I-I Wh-wh huh?.... Haaah, haaah, haaah.... n-no th-thi-this, this I-I...... th-there is red coming out of his Throat, di-di-did I stab hi-his Th-thr-throat? ........AAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHH!............ HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAAHA! I CAN BE FREE NOW!
"60"
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