[Diary]

11th March, 2015

Monday (9:30 PM)

Dear Diary,

I wanted to write about my orphanage days as soon as possible because they were just so fun.

After mother ran away an orphanage picked me up they told me that someone called them and said that there was a child living alone in a house so they came to pick me up. I guessed that it was probably the mother who called so when they asked me who is my mother I told them that she ran away, after that the nurse started crying from some unknown reason that I still can't figure out. The nun told me that she was crying for me but I don't get it I mean it's not like I was sad or anything, on the contrary I was happy because now mother wouldn't have to suffer because of me and can live life like she wanted to someplace else.

After that my 2 years in the orphanage began. The first month was fine as I made some friends 2 girls and 1 boy. The girl's names were 'Shreya' who was 13 years old and had dusty brown hair and brown narrow eyes with a small nose and thin lips if I have to tell about her body appearance then I don't know as I still know much about that kind of stuff but my new older sister mehak knows about this kind of stuff so maybe I will ask her later. The second girl name was 'Mana' who was also 13 years old and had black hair and black slightly large eyes with a small nose and slightly thick lips. If I have to compare I think Shreya was more pretty but that's just my judgment. The boy's name was 'Aran' who was 14 years old and had black hair and eyes if I have to talk about how handsome he was then I don't know because I can't precisely tell who is good looking or not.

The four of us played a lot inside the orphanage and during that time I became a little attached to Shreya always going where she goes and doing what she does now that I think about it the attachment was probably because I wanted someone to rely on and follow their lead because during orphanage days I would often pull hair of other children, fight with them, mix stuff in their food or push them down here and there but I was told I was being bad child and stop doing this stuff just like back in 2-3rd grade. But I still don't know why I mean I got so much enjoyment and fun out it and apparently the ones I did this stuff to feel sad, humiliated and depressed but when they did this stuff to me I didn't feel anything at all except I felt happy because it meant that they were thinking about me while doing this stuff, I was in their minds and it made me feel secure.

Then Shreya told me that I was the one who is not normal and my mind went blank. At that time I thought it means that the reason why mother ran away and why I don't feel what most other children feel is because I am abnormal so to fix that I started doing whatever Shreya did because she is the normal one. I kept following her and just like that 1 and a half year passed. I became normal as that's what I think happened because now no one scolds me and everyone gets along with me but I don't get feeling any of happiness, pleasure, and fun anymore it's like I became an empty shell that only exists to become what someone tells her to be, then during the December of 2014 something happened and I finally broke out of the shell and realized that by being normal I am only running away from myself just like mother and I don't want to be like that.

Mayuri

[Mayuri's POV]

"aaaaaaahh... " I made a loud yawn and realized that I am getting pretty sleepy so let's write about what happened during December tomorrow.

"mmmm.. " just thinking about that makes me feel strange things all over my body

Maybe I will write it the moment I wake up Tomorrow

"yeah let's do tha aaaaaaaahhh... "