For over an hour she paced the room and her mind twisted scenarios out of thin air. What would make her leave? What would it take to persuade or deter her from risking her life?

She didn’t have much luck coming up with an answer.

Instead, in the dark, she stared at the door. Reid surely stood on the other side, leaning against the ornate wood probably psyching himself up for some half-assed plan. Not only would he be pitting himself against everyone he had left in his world, but he’d be doing so coming off a night-watch. And for what?

He can’t stop what’s coming.

The pacing went on, her bare feet padding from the creaking hardwood floor to lush carpet and back again. She’d sit for a moment on one of the sofas before immediately getting back up, nervously tugging on her hair. Trudging from windows to the door, to the large windows again.

When no further plan beyond “piss him the fuck off” emerged, Ashley made her way to the door. She twisted and pulled the doorknob, catching Reid off guard. He stumbled back a step and tried to balance himself from his previous lean.

“Are you alright?” he asked but she ignored the question.

“You can't go tomorrow.” The words tumbled forth. Her voice echoed in the hallway, no other sound to dim its journey. Her only hope was that the doors were closed while others slept and no one would come.

Reid stepped inside the doorway, Ashley moved back, and he closed the door behind him.

“Shh.” His finger pressed to his lips. “Eric’s a light sleeper.”

“You can't go,” Ashley repeated and the mantra solidified in her mind. “You being there will be a problem.”

Reid flinched a little, his face barely visible in the dark, but a part of Ashley knew she’d memorized the lines of his lips.

“Not your choice, last time I checked,” he said. “Besides, if Monte's going I'm going.” Reid met her eyes a moment before forcing himself to look beyond her to the room behind. “That prick isn't above trying something even this close to the trade.”

“And you think you can stop him? Last time you tried I seem to remember you doing fuck all to help.” The words dripped easily but her gut dropped when his jaw tightened.

Needs to be like this, she told herself, steeling her resolve. Make him hurt. Push him away. With luck, he’ll stay here with Lancaster or go back to the college.

Reid took in a slow deep breath. “You done?”

A bitter laugh left her. In the tight corridor with the door at his back, the room at hers, she could nearly feel the heat of him just inches away. “What’s your deal, Reid? We both know you’re shit in a fight. We’ve seen it a few times, actually. I mean sure, Laurence had a few pounds on you, so I can see why you had a hard time getting the drop on him.”

Reid’s momentary shock died in a sneer.

“But Monte too? Is there someone you can take?” She forced a snide smirk to her lips and levelled as much of a glare as she could muster on the man. “Because if you think you can even bother the Outreach, Escort, whatever the fuck they call themselves, you’re in for a mess we both know you can’t handle.”

He turned from her, his hand on the doorknob, twisting in a single motion. Ashley knew what would come next; he’d leave, he’d sulk behind the big door, and still, tomorrow, he’d drive out with the rest of them.

He’ll never come back. The thought tightened her chest.

Ashley leaned past him and pushed the door closed. “I’m not done talking.”

“I’m done listening.” He tried to pull the door again, but she leaned forward with all her weight and slammed it shut.

“Open your ears, asshole. Pay attention.” Ashley grabbed his shoulder and forced him to face her. “I don’t want your fucking help.” She swallowed hard and, when he refused to meet her eyes, she snapped her fingers in front of his face. “Did you hear me?”

He met her eyes then. Questioning, as if asking why she was saying such things. “Did you forget that I know?” He stepped towards her, the action almost a threat. Her instinct had her step back and he followed through with another step. “Who you are. What was done to you. Why you’re even going to that fucking meet.”

“God, you are thick,” she blurted trying to give herself time to think. “You think knowing all that bullshit means you know me?”

“Yeah, I think I do know you.”

This time, Ashley looked away. “Please, you don’t know shit. You’re just throwing yourself in the fray so you matter. You’re not complicated, Reid. And getting in the way, getting dead, isn’t going to change anyone’s mind. You’ll still be this useless outsider who can’t save-“

Reid’s arm pressed to her throat silencing her. He pushed her back against the wall. Ashley’s eyes stared wide at him standing inches from her face, staring down with a calm fury she hadn’t expected.

“You want to push me away, fine.” His voice remained low, his lips moving carefully. “You want to pretend you don’t give a shit. Okay. Whatever helps you sleep. Hell, you want to sacrifice yourself for a bunch of fucks that won’t give a shit when you’re dead, by all means.” Though he pinned her in place, his grip didn’t stifle her breath, even if he could have. There was a focus, a terrifying focus about him as he looked down on her. “But I will not stand by and watch.”

His grip waned. His arms braced against the wall on either side of her. The rage in his eyes softened and his head turned down.

Make him angry, that much she had done, but as Ashley tried to convince herself to keep pushing him away, her hands reached out. Sliding along his cheek, her fingers tilted his head up.

“Tell me to leave,” he whispered, almost as a request.

“Leave.” She breathed out the word but her heart wasn’t in it. Every inch of her screamed to pull him closer, to keep him in. With her.

Reid didn’t move. In the dark, he waited.

Ashley leaned forward. She closed her eyes. “You should leave,” she whispered against his lips before they collided.

And just like that, her resolve evaporated.

His hands slipped from the wall to her waist, pulling Ashley into him. What little space between them magnetized, charged with need. Her arms circled his neck as he guided her back into the room. With each second that passed embraced, her heart quickened. Pulse racing in anticipation of more. More than words, more than tension from moments past.

I don't want to go.

The thought came on her suddenly as Reid stumbled on the carpet, his shape guiding her from the tight quiet corner by the door. She pushed it all away, the trade, the pack and gun in the next room, all of it aside.

Be here, she told herself. Be only here.

When she opened her eyes she sighed in relief and guided Reid back until his legs hit the edge of the extravagant blue couch. He gripped her close as if memorizing her shape and his fingers tucked beneath the trim of her sweater and shirt. They danced against the bare skin of her back and Ashley couldn't remember the last time she had been touched so tenderly.

His lips parted from hers to trail down her neck, and without the kiss, she bit at her lip. Don't make a sound. Someone might hear. But she took the nerves and placed them aside in her mind. Be here, she repeated as she tugged at his shirt and helped lift it over his head. The moment it was free from his chest, Reid assisted her with hers.

With determined hands, Ashley guided Reid back until he sat on the sofa. The chill air licked at her skin, the fall damp leaching in through the windows. Reid took in the sight of her, as Ashley straddled his waist. Their lips hungrily met again.

I’m here.

The smell of his hair and skin filled her as she leaned into him. Ashley's fingers trailed down his chest with purpose, fumbling at his waist. Reid’s fingers did much the same at hers.

Completely here.