He made his way downstairs to where he planned to stay that evening, though in the dark the doors all looked the same. Across from the hall where Lancaster worked, he pushed open the massive door. As expected, it creaked like a son of a bitch with every damn inch.

Even in the dark, the room shimmered with the ridiculous furniture in pastel shades. He crossed the clear space for tourists, steering clear of the tea table set in the middle of the room. But Shannon tripped on a black stanchion. He cursed and stumbled into one of the four posts of the bed, gripping the figure of a woman wrestling some kind of snake or tail. He paused, waited, but the shape on the sheets didn’t move.

Tish lay stretched out on the ornate bed, a leg dangled over the edge free from the covers. At first, she seemed serene but as Shannon got closer to her, she twisted and thrashed, mumbling to herself.

“...you... kin' knew...” Tish muttered as he sat on the bed. He reached out to her, a hand on her shoulder. “..to her... do it to her.... too..”

“Tish, come on,” he said softly, trying to rouse her gentle.

“YOU KNEW!” Tish screamed. Her fist lashed out as she struggled with the sheets, and her knuckles raked across Shannon’s chin. It wasn't a strong thrust but enough to catch him off guard.

Shannon tumbled from the bed.

Tish woke with a start, ripping off the sheets and sliding out of the other side of the bed. “Oh shit, Shan I'm sorry! I didn’t mean to-”

“Hell of a right hook... fuckin' hell...” He laughed and grabbed the bed post to haul himself up.

Before Tish could round the bed, the door opened behind Shannon.

“Everything alright?” Eric said, peering in the doorway. The wiry doctor stood behind him, frowning.

“Yeah, yeah I’m fine,” Shannon managed to say through his laughter. He touched his chin and it ached, but no where near as bad as his ass.

“Would you mind keeping it down?” Lancaster snapped as he turned around and stomped away. “Som of us are trying to work!”

Eric smirked and closed the door as he left.

Tish ran a shaky hand through her hear and cursed under her breath. “I was having a bad dream. I’m sorry.” Though it was only for the punch, Shannon couldn’t deny hearing her apologize was kinda nice. Specially after her touchy attitude all the way to Casa Loma.

“Bet you've been wanting to do that all day, ” he offered with a smile. “Hell, maybe all month.”

She smirked. “Might have been a little satisfying.” Flopping down on the sheets, she smoothed her hair and tried to suppress a yawn. “Does it hurt?”

He shrugged and waved it off. “I’m good. Stronger than I look.”

Tish, on her knees, crossed the bed and reached out to inspect his swelling lip. His heart quickened at her touch.

“You’re still pretty,” she said. “If you were wondering.”

“I’m glad you noticed.” He wanted to quip, to get back to their playful dynamic, but he couldn’t ignore the shake in her fingers or the apprehension in her eyes.

“Bad dream?” he asked without sarcasm or humour. Show her you care, man. Maybe she’ll believe it if it’s not a goddamn joke.

Shannon had never been good at being honest. At least not seriously. It’d never been important before but seeing her swallow hard, trying to compose herself he knew this was the time to shut up and do it right. Show her she’s important.

“Yeah, I guess. More like bad memories.” The determination and edge Tish wore on her sleeves by day softened behind closed doors. How many had gotten to see this side of her, he wondered.

“Want to talk about it?” It was a question he would have normally dreaded asking just about anyone. There had been a girl, even after the outbreak. They’d all been a bit of fun, no strings, no emotions, just some sex. Tish was supposed to be just a bit fun. At first, at least.

“It’s not a good memory.” She sat back in the bed, arms crossed over her chest, eyes downcast.

“Still,” he touched her chin and lifted her eyes to meet his. “I don’t mind listening.”

They sat together, over the covers, and Tish talked about her family. About her mother, her sister. Her stepfather. Horrors from the outbreak seemed to pale in comparison as he followed the slight scar on her chin forming new association with the woman before him. And even if it hadn’t been a horror, hearing about times before the outbreak was rough going. Family, friends, things that seemed important all splashed in red and death. The monsters people became. The monsters they always were.

“I don't regret it.” Her jaw tightened and she grit through the words. She stared beyond him and the room as if glaring into the dark. Like she could see the nightmares playing out in the shadows. “I had to leave or I was going to kill him or her or both of them. And I needed to say it. I had to say the fucking words no matter how much I knew everything would change. They deserved it, whatever they got. But... I have a sister.” She paused and frowned. “Had, I guess.”

“She could still be alive.” It was a phrase people said, like “in our thoughts and prayers” or “it is how it is”. It almost didn't mean anything and he knew it when the words touched the air.

Tish looked to him with a knowing smile. “There's no chance. She would only be five. How many five years old's survived? And I can’t imagine my Mum or… No. She never put anyone else first so there’s no way she’d keep a baby going through all this.”

“Okay, maybe not a huge chance.” He wasn't doing well, he knew it but she smiled anyway. “But if your sister's anything like you, which she could be since she's got half the same stuff you have, then I bet she'd fight tooth and nail to make it.”

“Same 'stuff'?” Tish laughed and wiped away a few tears and Shannon had no interest in letting go of the chance to lighten their mood.

“Yup. Even at five I bet you were a scrappy bitch.”

Her first landed a fun punch on his shoulder, the light laughter a nice relief, if only for a moment. Shannon smiled and nudged her back. “But what I'm saying is we could look for her. Alive or not.”

There were few gestures in their world that held as much weight as those words. Shannon knew it before he said it, there was no regret in the offer. Yeah. I mean this, he thought, looking at Tish in the night. Her eyes were dark but he could see her clearly.

“You don't want to get out of here?” Her voice was barely above a whisper. “Don't want to be free?”

Shannon didn't have a real answer for her, not one he thought was fair to give. All he had was what he felt and he wasn't sure if that was right, wrong, misguided or noble.

“After everything we've seen, after everything I've done...” His memories invaded the space of the room and he wanted them to go. Reaching out he found Tish's hand again, giving it a gentle squeeze. “Not sure if we all really deserve it, you know?”

A solemn nod in the night was enough. Don't think I could go back. Not sure how happy I'd be. It was hard to really remember what it was like to live a normal life, hard to imagine going back to one.

“I know,” Tish said softly, bringing his lips to hers. He closed his eyes as they embraced, her skin warm and soft save for calloused fingers and the faded scar on her chin.