Helena closed the door behind her and exhaled audibly, her hand shaking at her side.

“Dumb move, dumb fuckin' move,” she murmured.

Down the stairs, through the dining hall and into the courtyard, she took in a steadying breath. The chill from the morning had waned but the air was still crisp in her lungs.

After a moment to compose, she looked around. Monte and his compatriots huddled close drinking from a steel-flask. How the hell they got their hands on alcohol, she couldn’t be sure. Probably Saul. They were waiting for her, but so was Eric. He leaned against the doorway to one of the old dormitories, hiding in the arch. His eyes never left Monte and his goons. When Helena walked out, he stepped to meet her, his large frame making her feel small.

One of Monte's men slapped his arm and pointed in her direction.

“He's pissed,” Eric said slowly, his breath leaving the thinnest tendrils of vapour in the air.

“Tell me something I don't know.” Helena pulled the cuff of her sweater closer to cover her neck. Streaks of her blonde hair blurred her sight in yellow as the group be-lined for her and Eric.

Eric dropped his voice low. “He's scared he'll get thrown out.”

Turning to her friend, Helena frowned. “Jonas wouldn't dare. Saul would never stay if Monte was booted out. And Jonas needs Saul. He can’t afford to lose the only person who understands how the damn radio works.”

She just barely finished her sentence as Monte and four men reached her. Among them was Brendan Inoue, the newest inductee amongst a group of religiously machismo blockheads. He was small compared to the rest, still pretty young too. But he didn’t have any skills besides holding a hammer or a gun, so he’d fallen in with the brute squad. It wasn’t a new story. Monte seemed to like collecting grunts.

Brendan hung in the back as Monte tried to lean over Helena like he didn’t know they were the same height.

“You fuckin' bitch… Think you can make me look like a fool up there and get away with it?!”

“You did that all on your own,” Helena said.

“I saved you. I fuckin' saved your life out there!”

“Dumb mistake.” Greg Williams, a close but simple friend of Monte's peaked out from behind.

Eric stepped in Greg’s way. “Don't make one yourself.” He had nearly a foot on Greg and after a moment of them standing close, Greg slunk back and Eric fell in line beside Helena.

“You didn't even try to talk her down,” Helena said. “You didn’t wait for my order, and as I see it, you shot at me.” Helena let a little of that pent up frustration out, taking a step forward. “You fire a gun at or near me again without my expressed permission; that means ‘without me fucking saying so’, I will let you bleed the fuck out.” She felt Eric's hand on her arm, pulling her back a step and her body followed.

“Remember that the next time you feel sick.” She spat the words. “The next time one of your friends gets hurt on work duty.” She shot a glance at the shapes behind Monte. “One day you will be under my goddamn knife and you better hope my ears aren’t still ringing.”

A few curses tumbled from their lips but Monte stepped back. Helena didn’t let up her glare until he turned and stepped aside from her path.

“I thought doctors were supposed to help everyone no matter what,” Eric chuckled from beside her.

Helena’s fists clenched tighter, her fingernails digging into her palms. “I’m not a doctor.”

The two started towards Old Vic where Helena would do her rounds. Eric often came with her, a steady hand and friend. She knew it was more for him than her, but today she needed a familiar shadow.

He opened the door and immediately Helena started up the small staircase to her waiting room. It wasn't where they did much more than small fixes, stored medicines, and where she could talk to people. Her office, her space. Her prison.

“Helena, hi.” Inside Ivy Woods was waiting with her four-year-old daughter Emma. She was the youngest among their colony, for now at least, and always brought a smile to everyone's face. Ivy looked as worried as ever as she tucked hairs behind Emma's ear.

“I know it's before breakfast but I thought I could see you quickly. She's got that cough again and she won't stop sneezing.”

Helena barely had her sweater off before the stethoscope was back on. Trying to let go of what had happened, she smiled at Ivy and said she'd take a look.

On cue, Emma sneezed, her face squidging up and Ivy brought a handkerchief up to clean up Emma’s nose.

“My grandma,” Eric started, leaning in the door frame while watching, “used to say every time you sneeze someone's talking about you.”

Little Emma furrowed her brow and Ivy smiled.

Eric leaned forward and whispered, “Or that you're breaking a fairy spell!”

“What's a fairy?” Emma asked.

“People with wings the size of bugs,” Helena said as she put the circle of metal on Emma's back. Then Helena checked her nose, her ears and throat. “They supposed to use magic.”

“Not all were good,” Eric added with a smile and Ivy gave him a fake scolding look.

“Well, as per usual Ivy, not a thing is wrong.” Helena took off the stethoscope. “Your daughter has allergies.”

“Allergies?” Ivy frowned. “To what?”

“Ragweed. Pollen. Mould. It's the seasonal kind, I'm pretty sure. Just mucus build-up and a bit of congestion. She's absolutely fine.”

Ivy sighed and sat down beside Emma. “Is there anything I can do?”

“Close her window in the mornings or if it's windy. Otherwise, nada. We hold onto the allergy meds for severe reactions and the seasonal stuff is more an inconvenience than anything else.”

“She could be allergic to Fairies,” Eric said with a smile and Emma giggled, a sneeze making its way out. Her mother fussed a little and thanked Helena before heading out to breakfast.

As soon as they were gone Helena's smile faded.

“You look like a doctor,” Eric said. He didn’t come close in the room and instead, lingered in the doorway by the old chalkboard. An intricate drawing done by some of the kids in the colony scrawled the surface. It had been up for over a year now, a few drawings added each time the kids showed up. Some of the scribbles and pictures had lasted on the board longer than the kids. Her eyes settled on the lines, trying to remember their faces.

“I don't feel like one.” Walking to the board, she bent down to a bookshelf just below and pulled out a large tome. One of ten volumes she had found at the library and kept on hand. The night before she hadn't slept, but poured over this one book, now turning to a page on incurable infectious diseases. It had been bugging her since Cazalla had arrived.

“Look, I've gotta get some work done. Would you mind-”

“Yeah, I'll grab you some food.” Eric stood a little straighter. “But you need to stop being so hard on yourself.”

She nodded without looking at him, knowing he was staring with that “not again” look on his face.

“I'll be back in a bit,” he said.

When Helena looked up again he was gone leaving her alone with the pages. She sat down on the floor, back flush against the wall. With a note pad and the bible of medical knowledge, she scratched notes hoping there would be no next patient. At least not for a while.