《The Alternative Diaries of Raymond's Raven》Sixth Pedal of the Lily (Contact)

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“R-Ray-Ray. D-do you like Italian?”

“I don’t eat much pizza pie, but my mom’s recipe for Spaghettit with squid ink is pretty good.”

“…I was referring to that Italian magician girl you're following. Not food. [email protected] it, I’m not even sure if I’m housewife-angry or growth-spurt hungry right now!”

The Italian Borders. Contrary to some World War Fanatics, Italy was not an enemy during the First World War. No, rather, they were invaded by Germany, hard and fast. They barely had a chance to protect themselves and by the time they gathered their fighting spirit, the Italian Government had surrendered a good portion of ground to the enemy.

However, since the invasion by the German Army, there have been a formation of soldiers across the Italian front to kick out the enemy from their land. The most hardcore unit among them, were the Arditi. Classified as Italian Shock Troopers who were extensively trained to carry heavy metal armor and handheld heavy machine guns. They were the ones to jump into enemy territory, to claim strategic defenses and break through the armored lines. On the side, they would have a small and portable division that specialize in sabotage against Imperial German tanks, vehicles, supply lines, as well as Flak Towers.

These brave men and women were all volunteers, who want to serve and protect their homeland from the enemy forces. This would also include the Italian Druidic Circles who support the regular forces in fighting against magicians serving in the Central Powers. A certain Canadian Pilot and a certain Canadian Witch were suppoed to come in contact with one of their intelligence Druid. However there were some, ahem, miscommunication to deal with.

“So tell me, Ray-Ray. Wh-what did you think of that Italian Girl? S-sure sh-she’s got a nice body, hips that flare out harder than a vase, b-but I win when it comes to bust comparison!”

“We’re here to deliver top-priority intelligence to the Italians for their raid on the Castle D'Isonzo up in the Italian alps. The Germans are holding strong and they’ve already fortified their anti-air defenses with the the Maxim Anti-Air Machine guns stolen from a British Supply Convoy in Belfort. They’ll tear the Allied Air Force apart if we get near it. We need the Italian's help to sabotaging the guns in exchange for information.”

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“Y-you say that this trip in Venice i-is strictly business, b-but I know there’s a serendipitous amount of pleasure going under the cloth!”

“…Sleipnir. You’re using serendipitous wrong.”

“No. I know my Webster dictionary as tightly as knowing every forbidden grimoire recorded on the Index Librorum Prohibitorum. A-and ey-eyes up here, not my breasts!”

“I was looking over your shoulder to see if any German spies were following you. Stop shaking your hips so much or you’ll catch attention.”

“I-I’m hurt! My pride as a woman is hurt!”

The one who was present in Venice to deliver crucial information to allied Italians, was a certain Canadian Pilot. An Ace among the Aces, he has flown more than 50 aerial skirmishes and have been in his fair share of dogfighting. He had about two to three encounters with the notorious German Red Baron and even earned admiration from the enemy Ace himself.

The Canadian Pilot had flown in on his beloved all black Triplane Sopwith carved Black Maria, all the way from the shores of Cambrai to the border of Italy. To prevent the enemy noticing allied aerial intervention, he had to hide his plane in a hidden allied air base, and travel to Venice by foot and train. His name was Raymond Collishaw, a young man born and raised on a small town on an island off the mainland coast of British Columbia.

Accompanied with him to meet the Italian Informant was his partner. A so-called magician of the Canadian Witch Corp. Please note, in a busy city filled with art and ravines, this girl stuck out like a sore thumb. It was mostly because of showy her dress made out of 1000 raven feathers was. She showed 80% too much skin for even the most daring of woman to display. If Ballroom Dances or treading the Red Carpet had standards, she breached every single one and be the first to be kicked out.

“I could see the lust in your eyes, Ray-Ray. Just when you had my body all to yourself every night! How dare you go behind my back and commit adultery in front of my very face! That Italian woman even blew a kiss at your direction! How could I not go housewive rage mode on you!”

“…First of all, you keep slipping in my bed because you sleep walk too much. Two, I toss you out every night and lock you in the armoury or else I lose five hours of sleep. Three, the gesture was a code to ensure we got the right person.Think about it, would a German Witch blow a kiss as a military code?”

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“………I…I have trouble just breathing being around you a-and I’m half-British half-Canadian!”

“See. It means she is the Italian informant we need to contact and deliver the information to.”

“I still smell the orchids of adultery going on. Don’t you make any fast move.”

“We have to, I think we’re being followed.”

“H-heh? S-stalkers? For me? A-already? (O///O)”

“…No. (-_-)”

Raymond Collishaw may not have been this type of man in history, but this version definitely frowned. He kept glancing over his shoulder, peeking over the Venician ravines to the market stalls roads. He could spot two peculiar figures in the crowd that kept hovering in and out of the shadows. They both had this peculiar coned hat, and it didn't look anything like a Hun's helmet.

“Tch. You’re right, Ray-Ray. They’re Magicians and definitlely a Kraut! Only they could manipulate shadows as a portal from one street to another. I should have known!”

“Said the self-proclaimed member of the Canadian Witch Corp.”

“I-I was distracted! Y-you kept having such close conversation with the Italian girl tha-that I completely forgot about the enemy. I-it’s all your fault, take responsibility!”

“Now isn’t the time to be talking about a shotgun marriage.”

“Uwa-uwa-uwa. S-shotgun marriage. Th-then that means I’m with your child (>///.”

“Sleipnir. Don’t.”

The Canadian Pilot ducked his head with a mutter and moved along. In front of him was the Italian Druid who was part of the Arditi anti-magic unit. Due to the fact magic exist, only in secret, she had to maintain her identity as an Italian Nun who was part of the medical unit in the Arditi. She was risking exposing her identity to enemy Magicians by meeting the Canadian Pilot and Witch. So it was his duty to protect her… and the noisy girl in the 1000 raven feathers dress he was dragging behind her.

“R-Ray-Ray! S-stop yanking my arm around! I-I’m very delicate, my shoulder will make a nasty pop sound and I don’t wan to wear any sling on my wedding day! And why do you have to hold onto that Italian Druid's hands too! She’s a nun! You can’t touch her! Not to mention, everyone is staring at us! Th-they’ll think this is a messed up love triangle… Gasp! Th-they might even thing we’re a thressome!”

“Sleipnir. Five o’clock.”

“D-don't change the subject to avoid your guilt! Tch, I see him. I’ll scorch the Kraut b*tch! Firebolt!”

Timing her shot like that of a proffesional sniper, the Canadian Witch snapped her fingers to unleash a plume of Green Flame at a moving shadow. The Canadian Pilot turned in time to see it connect, the figure of a woman going up in flames. He didn’t hear a scream, the enemy witch already threw herself into the ravine to put out the flames. Vicious.

“…Is that Greek Fire? The Water is only make the flames bigger. That’s too cruel, Sleipnir.”

“Heh. I specialized in fire magic, darling. So don’t push me around like a housewife that doesn’t know anything, or else I’ll burn you.”

“Duck.”

“What?—GUBYAAAH!”

The Canadian Witch’s magic was top notch, emulating the enemy magician in flames that only intensify with more water splashed onto it. And she could predict where the Shadow Portals will open, so she could shoot more flames at the pursuing agents.

But her reflex was sh*t. She missed the low hanging Pizzaria sign that the Canadian Pilot. As the Druid girl was born and raised in Italy, she already ducked without even seeing up front. And by the off chance, someone could see a cute smirk under her nun hood.

“Nyaaaah! (@[email protected]) W-we’ll have 30 babies, and they’ll all be called Ray-Ray 1, Ray-Ray 2, Ray-Ray 3--”

“Miss Italian Witch. You have some kind of voodoo that could heal people right? Does it work on this pathetic witch?”

“Oooooh! Starry pantieis! Hiccup! (@.@)”

“…Or anything to shut her up.”

In the end, Raymond Collishaw was able to provide the necessary intelligence to the Arditi forces, and getting their help to sabotage the anti-air cannons at Castle D'Isonzo in order to provide full air support. It only cost the Italian Druid girl's healing magic and a Silence Spell.

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