《The Magic Ork》Chapter 19 Test

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The aftermath of my big fight with the hydra ended up being an hour or two of questioning about my style, my magic, and just why in the hell I burnt up the hydra corpse, don’t you know how expensive those are. The last one was from Vegter.

The chieftain didn’t ask me about my chosen trial this time, probably because there was only one trial left to do. The written test.

Me and the rest of the group hike back over to the village, where we go our separate ways. Leaving with Vegter to study up for my final trial me and Vegter, as per usual by now, devise a training routine for the next seven days of prep before my written test. The routine goes as such, with me spending the first half of my day working with Vegter in the forge, improving my craft, and then spending the second half of my day studying up with Vegter. This goes on for six or so days, until the day right before the final trial comes up.

I wake up as I normally do, with Vegter right outside my door, smelling Clara cook up breakfast. Except today, today Vegter informs that we will be doing other things, since I already studied to my utmost extent, and there’s really no point in studying anymore. No, instead Vegter says that he’s going to take me out drinking to and I quote, “put some hair on your chest, lad. Today might be the last day we spend together, so why not go out with a bang”.

I try to talk him out of it, saying that coming to the test tomorrow with a hangover would be a terrible idea. To this Vegter just says that we’ll make sure that I don’t drink that much. Ugh.

Knowing that talking Vegter out of this is basically not possible, and with some excitement at the prospect of getting a little drunk, I reluctantly agree. We eat breakfast with Clara as usual, with Vegter telling me to not tell Clara anything because she’ll probably want to join in, and drink both Vegter and I under the table, and we want me to be fresh for my test tomorrow. Bit of an unexpected reason but whatever.

After Breakfast Vegter and I go over to Caden’s house, inviting him to come and drink with us. Caden accepts, saying that he’s only coming to keep us all on the straight and narrow. Vegter laughs at this and mutters something about how Caden’s just coming for some free booze, and how he’s probably going to milk Vegter’s coffers dry.

And so with one more adventurer in our ranks we skedaddle down to the nearest bar. Vegter was about to take me to his and Caden’s favorite bar, but Caden said that might not be the best idea, saying things such as “he might rat us out, we’ve only known him for a month or so. Let’s give it a little bit more time before we go that far”, Vegter looks like he’s about to argue over this before muttering, later, later,.

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Huh, I feel somewhat betrayed, but whatever, we’ve only known each other for a little over a month, I shouldn’t expect complete and absolute trust yet. Especially over something like this.

The bar that we eventually choose to go to looks like… well it looks like a bar. Generic in almost every way, the only thing unique about it being it’s name ‘the salty hydra’. Don’t even want to know what that means.

We enter to the sound of… I guess a tuba playing. I wouldn’t know, the instruments here are weird, and I wasn’t exactly knowledgeable about instruments back on earth.

Anyway, Vegter drags me over to a bar tender, orders a couple drinks for me and Caden then pulls over to sit down on a, less than spotless, table.

It takes ten minutes or so for drinks to show up, one big mug of what looks like cheap beer, one more refined looking cup of what seems to be wine, and three shot glasses containing a liquid that looks like snake venom.

“the beers for you boy, the wines for Caden, thinks it makes him look classy, and the adult, hyperopic is for me” Vegter says handing us each our drinks. I take a sip of my beer, see that it tastes like piss, then start to hassle Vegter and Caden for a sip of their drinks. Caden eventually cracks, muttering something about cheap piss beer, before handing me his wine for me to taste.

Taking a sip of the wine, I note that it tastes pretty fruity. “hmm, nice” I praise, handing the wine back to Caden. I then start badgering Vegter to either buy me a different type of booze or to hand me some of his, because I refuse to drink the piss beer.

“no gratitude at all. This ‘piss beer’s all we had to drink back in my day…” Vegter starts ranting. It takes listening to a ‘back in my day’ story before Vegter cracks and buys me a few more drinks. A couple more wines, and better beers later, and I am thoroughly inebriated. By this time I had succeeded in goading Vegter and Caden into drinking along with me, saying that we should try out all the bars drinks before we leave. A little friendly challenge.

I know, really dumb plan, no forethought, but in my defense I am decently sure my new body is a light-weight, considering that it took only a sip of beer and a little wine before I got drunk. That and they say the impulse control sections of a brain don’t develop until the age of twenty-one or something. Don’t know if that holds true for ork bodies though.

After drinking the sixth or seventh drink though, my memories of my night of fun with Vegter and Caden get hazy after that. Decently sure we got into a bar fight, or a drinking competition or something, but I can’t quite recall the details. After that though it’s a serious blur.

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All of this brings me to this moment now, waking up with a killer hangover next to a sleeping and snoring Vegter and Caden. Looking around I notice that we’re laying on a street in the village somewhere. I contemplate waking up Vegter and Caden, if only to stop the snoring, before remembering that I have a test today.

Crap. Crap, crap, crap, crap. I instantly bolt awake, startling Vegter and Caden some, before they eventually decide to go back to sleep. I run around asking people in the street where the chieftains place is from here. Eventually a kind soul gives me some semi reliable directions. I zoom over to the chieftains place as fast as I can.

It’s truly a testament to how hard I’ve been working that when I reach the chieftains place I am almost not winded at all. “I came! I made it! I am ready to take my test” I yell. I then kneel down into the foliage next to the building and start puking to my hearts content. Really should not be running with a hangover. And on top of all that my headaches a lot worse now.

Lovely, just lovely.

The chieftain, hearing my words, steps outside to the sight of me puking. “I remember when I had to take the test just like you. Older buddy of mine took me out to a night of drinking just before. Ahh, memories, really takes ya back” the chieftain says, sighs then drags me into a room.

In the room there’s nothing but Flaminius, a sheet of paper that I assume is the test, with a pencil next to it.

“Flaminius will be taking care of administering the test today for you. bye” the chieftain says, leaving.

“well boy, I guess it’s time for me to explain this test to you” Flaminius says, seeming fine with glossing over that fact that I look like a breeze could knock me over. “I made you this years test, as I am sure you’re happy to know. Anyways, this years test will be some simple true and false questions, followed by short answer, then long answer questions. After that comes two questions where you must write at least eight-hundred or so words” Flaminius explains. I pale at the eight-hundred word thing. Never been much of a writer. Well, let’s just hope that all that training pays off.

And so I write the test, wasted out of my mind, with a headache that feels like someone’s trying to split open my head with a dull axe. Needless to say, the entire thing was hell. Eventually though I do finish the test. Not bothering to check it over, I immediately hand it over to Flaminius, the hangover too strong, and I too weak for me to do anything but that.

I then leave, starting my journey over to Vegter’s house. Takes me a while, and I may or may not have puked on a couple peoples lawns on the way but I get there eventually.

I see Vegter and Clara waiting on their porch anxiously. When they see me they start asking me how I did. “as best as I could, with the given circumstances” I say, not really wanting to get into it right now, the only thing on my mind would be to eat and sleep.

“Ah, boyo. I hope that you ace this test and do us proud. Even if you don’t though, we had fun together” Vegter says. “it’s been a pleasure making your food lad. Haven’t known each other long, but you feel like the son I never had” Clara says, quite out of character for her. We didn’t really interact much. though that could just be a given ‘round here.

Not really knowing how to react to this display of emotion, I go with my instincts, and hug Vegter and Clara. “it’s been great being with you guys” I say.

Vegter informed me that the test results usually came the day after the test was performed, and that it would probably be best for me if I ate and slept for today, and just waited for tomorrow. I ate dinner with Vegter and Clara, this time there really was a somber air to the dinner. I ate the food although I couldn’t really taste it. After I was done with my food I bid Vegter and Clara a good night.

That night I did not dream.

Whether from the fact that I was dead tired, or that my brain itself was too anxious, I did not dream.

The next morrow me and Vegter went out first thing in the morning to check my test result. We rush over to the chieftains place to check for my test results, barely eating anything for breakfast.

When we get there we see the chieftain with a paper in his hand. “come to see how you’ve done, boy” he shouts. I don’t say anything, just simply nod my head. He passes me the paper, pointing to the mark on it.

88%

“YES” I shout, handing the paper over to Vegter. “bravo lad” Vegter congratulates me. “bravo indeed, Ulfr Mahesha” the chieftain says to my great confusion. “uh, what?” I ask. “Vegter you didn’t tell him?” the chieftain says to Vegter looking somewhat surprised. “well I never really had the time. That and I wanted this to be a surprise” Vegter says looking a little sheepish.

Sighing the chieftain looks back to me. “well our village has a tradition of giving people, especially outsiders, new names. Draws a line between your past somewhere else, and your present with us, hopefully helping to better the community. Your name get’s decided for you based on your accomplishments during the trial” the chieftain explains.

“Hence, why you’re Ulfr Mahesha”

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