Marshall came back in the morning with some unsettling news about Marki. She hadn’t gotten much better. He says last night she woke up for a little while, but didn’t recognize him. He’s seems to finally be reaching the conclusion I already had. There isn’t any hope for her. Aaimina agreed to escort us to the other side of the hospital, but I’m sure she just wanted to get away from Calista and Tamara for a while before we head out. Only our footsteps echo in the hallway as we make our way to Marki’s room.

“What did you two do before you came here,” Aaimina tries to break the silence.

“I was in the middle of transitioning to a teaching career,” I was but my star pupil got eaten in front of me.

“That’s amazing. Did you know Enda was a teacher?”

“Yeah, we spoke about it a little last night.”

“What else did you talk about,” she sounds concerned.

“He tried to tell me how Calista was a wonderful person and we should all show her the courtesy and respect that she doesn’t show us,” I can’t hide my laugh.

“Well, I’m glad you didn’t fall for it. Enda and Tamara will do whatever Calista says. It’s like she’s got some kind of hold on them.

“What’s their deal anyway? It’s almost as if they’re some kind of cult.”

“I know right.”

“Don’t you think there are more important things to discuss,” Marshall interrupts, giving me a cold look.

“I just feel like if we know more about each other, it’ll be easier for us to work together,” I try to make my point.

“I think we should have just used last names and not told anyone anything about any of us. Now, when someone dies, and someone will die, our minds will go into grieving mode,” Marshall explains his logic. “Grieving soldiers, are not good soldiers,” Marshall goes back to the soldier talk I thought he had given up on.

“But we lose our humanity if we lose our names,” Aaimina argues.

“No, we lose our humanity when we turn into one of those creatures.”

“So we should all be cold and calculated killing machines.”

“Why do you think I’m a cold killing machine,” Marshall asks.

“You give off the vibe sometimes, a lot of the time,” I can’t help but snicker at Aaimina’s comment.

“Did you ever consider I try to limit emotional connections because I find myself weak to them? I care too much.”

Marshall sounds sincere, and Aaimina doesn’t push the issue so we walk in silence. Perhaps Marshall does care more than I thought. Punching me in the face repeatedly might have been his way of showing me some care. I’m surprised he hasn’t told everyone that I ran away when our whole team was getting killed. That may be his way of doing me a favor, making them think I’m some kind of battle-hardened veteran. Then again, it boosts their morale as much as it does the mythos surrounding me.

“What did you do before all this Major Marshall,” Aaimina asks with some sarcasm.

“I was monitoring the conflict on Xioshaa. Helping determine if the Galactic Federation should step in, and which side we should step in for. Things started to heat up when we lost a team that went on an unsanctioned mission. It was supposed to be reconnaissance, but their leader went rogue. Decided he was going to end the war all on his own. He’s been trying to talk leadership into having another go at it despite losing soldiers on the mission. Whole thing is primed to be the biggest mess The Galactic Federation has ever gotten into. At least it was, until this hole in reality opened up and spit out cannibalistic mutants. I wonder how the papers will report this.”

“You were working a desk job,” my own words shock me. Why would I ask him that?

“Yeah, I guess I was. Does that change how you view me?”

“Not really, I just thought you were out running through some barren wasteland, dodging attacks and planning retaliation strikes.”

“I still could, but it’s a young man’s game. There’s no point in pushing myself to the limit when the young boys are biting at my heels. Instead I pass on the knowledge I have to those who are younger.”

He’s got a good point, that’s why I was trying to make a permanent move to teaching. I’ve reached my limit, and I’ll never lead the next great advancement. But, I can show the next generation how to operate and give them my research as the building blocks.

When we arrive at Marki’s room, Aaimina leaves us. Feeling she has no say in what we do. Looking into Marki’s room I can tell that things are bad. There are bruises on her wrist from her trying to escape restraints. I don’t recall putting any restraints on her, so Marshall must have done it for some reason.

“Any reason for the restraints,” I ask.

“She behaves erratically as often as she behaves like herself. The restraints were in case she decided to make a meal of me while I was asleep.”

Marshall doesn’t follow me inside immediately. I can spot the changes on her, portions of her skin turning a pale green. It looks almost as if they’re rotting, yet they’re hard to the touch. The exoskeleton is beginning to form. There’s not turning back from here. The fever is gone, and her breathing is no longer labored, but she’s also displaying signs that she’ll turn in a few days if not hours from now. We’re not left with many options.

I think the most human option would be for me to find something that I can overdose her with. Maybe grab one of Niko’s little balls of sunshine to make sure she goes out in a good mood. I had prepared for the idea that she wouldn’t recover but not how to deal with it.

I step out of the room and take a seat on a bench next to Marshall, “what’s the plan.”

“Marki is one of the best soldiers I ever served with. But we can’t do anything for her beyond giving her a soldier’s exit.”

“What’s that?”

“Shoot a bullet through her heart, and burn the body,” Marshall shrugs.

“Have you had to do that before?”

“Yeah.”

“That must have been hard for you.”

“Do you know why cowardice disgusts me so much?”

“I’ve got a few ideas, but nothing solid.”

“It’s because I’ve been to hell and back. I’ve seen blood-soaked walls, Draconian killing fields, brothers in arms killing each other over petty ideals and so much more. I’ve done things I will not recover from. This is just another mission for me. Different, but the same. Marki is not the first person to die here, and won’t be the last,” Marshall pauses, “you wanted to know why I work a desk job. The real answer is I couldn’t keep losing soldiers anymore. I can name every single soldier I lost, but I can never make the list shorter. No matter how hard I try, it just keeps getting longer. When you don’t feel any shame ending a life, you can only add to the list. If you can’t do it, I’ll add Marki to my list and carry that burden until I die.”