My dream changed very abruptly again. The flying monk had erased the enemy killerbots somehow just by turning up, and now I was surrounded by a forest full of life. Hardly a trace of the molten robots could be seen where they had stood just a minute ago, ready to kill me. It was as if they had never existed, and it was hard to believe in killerbots in an environment like this wood. Gigantic green trees full of leaves were everywhere, and grass and small plants grew everywhere. I saw insects and birds all around me. The effect was very alienating to me as a citizen of The City. If one single plant like Velia’s mint or my little succulent already causes a shockwave shattering your worldview, then a whole forest is way too much to process easily. We hadn’t had nature like this in The City for centuries. A tidy and organised world required elimination of chaos, as some had called it.

And chaos was a good way to describe the wilderness around me, but it was only a small part of the truth. I certainly had read about places like this, and even seen them in holomovies, but I wasn’t prepared to be all alone here in what looked like a real forest with no humans or things made by humans. I stared in horror and fascination at the world around me, and that was even before I noticed that there was something very strange happening to this placee. And if you looked good enough it was hard to escape that something strange was happening here.

The best explanation for what I saw was that time was running backwards and forward at the same time here. That sounds like nonsense, but it’s the only way to describe what I was seeing. The trees were not growing, but becoming smaller. The animals moved forward, but seemed to get younger. This whole world was going back in time somehow even though the animals were just doing their animal stuff. Other animals and plants appeared. First the wild cow and the mammoth that I thought I recognised from the endling counsil, and then other and even weirder animals, like hairy rhinoceroses and gigantic deer with antlers that were each bigger than a mid-sized human being. The animals themselves seemed to morph too, and slowly change colour and sometimes form, but they didn’t seem to notice nor bother about that and just went on as if nothing strange was happening. But it was impossible to deny that it was happening, and time seemed to go back faster and faster. The mammoth was a much smaller grey elephant-like being now, fighting a giant dog-like monster that I hadn’t seen before. I saw weird trees that hadn’t been there before, and giant insects and coloured birds. A crocodile had appeared, and the elephant and cow were unrecognisable small mammals by now.

Even the landscape around me changed slowly. The hills in the background grew very slowly, and the river seemed to slowly move across the background. Trees came and went, and everything was filled with strange small mammals and birds, and lizards. The crocodile was still there, but a lot smaller. It was hunting strange striped mouse-like being now, that seemed to have appeared out of nowher. None of the old animals was still recognisable, although I thought that the giant deer was now a tiny mini-antelope not bigger than the raven I knew from my own world. The mammals and birds were all small now.

Suddenly a flash of darkness came, and everything was changed. There were mountains now, with palm-like trees and alien christmas trees, as well as trees with gigantic leaves and white tuliplike flowers. To my shock dinosaurs had appeared. The mammals and birds were gone or had at least hidden in between the vegetation. Instead I saw mostly weird lizards and small flying reptiles, and sometimes a feathered beast that otherwise looked like a small dinosaur. Time seemed to be going backwards faster again too, much faster than first. The dinosaurs changed form and finally became smaller. More giant ferns appeared and the giant reptiles disappeared. One last reptile snapped at me, something like an overgrown lizard with a sail on its back. And then it retreated, already looking more like a giant salamander, and it disappeared in the stream like something more of a fish. Giant insects flew around, and I noticed bugs that were completely alien on the ground. Nothing in this world was recognisable to me. The whole forest had been reduced to a few species of alien trees. Gigantic woods of bristled trees slowly shrunk and retreated to be replaced by strange things that looked like living pillars, in greenish white. They were at least 8 meter high, some probably higher. I had no idea what it was, but it didn’t look like the plants, which were small now, and mostly growing by the water. But even the living pillars disappeared, as did the alien bugs, and the last thing I saw was a bunch of isopods running away to the stream where only tiny knobby moss plants grew. The rest of the landscape was an empty world of rocks without any sign.

Soon I stood on a completely dead planet, an empty world of water and rocks. The air was filled with strange clouds, and I knew that if this hadn’t been part of my dream then I would’ve been dead from breathing this air. This was the Earth, before life at conquered land. Or maybe at this point before any organic life at all. Clouds above me were heavy with rain, and suddenly I was in the midst of a downpour of strange liquid that might or might not have been water. Thunder filled the air, and I had the feeling that my endless regression into deep time was over now. I stood in my own world, but just before the beginning of life.

“Adaman.” A voice suddenly said. It was a deep, rich voice, but still unmistakably female. I turned to find the speaker and indeed; I saw a woman, or at least something shaped like a woman. I was clear that she couldn’t be human: She was enormous, and her green dress seemed as alive as a leaf on a tree. Her skin had an earth-like brownish colour that was unnatural for a human, but still very natural for her, as was her green hair that curled freely to far below her waist. There was something extremely powerful and wild about her. But in spite of her non-human qualities she was still the most beautiful woman I had ever seen. And she seemed to smile at me in a reassuring way. Could I trust her? Or was she the last phantom that I had to face before the end?

“Adaman is my name indeed. But who, or better, what are you?” I hoped she didn’t mind staring. The difference between her living beauty and the dead planet made too much contrast and I was too captivated to keep my eyes from her. Her blue eyes looked at me with a mix of compassion and pity.

“In reality I have no name and no form that you could recognise. This is just a form I give myself to make myself visible to your species. It’s actually just an image that people used to make of me. Sometimes humans represent the indescribable with images or theories; and then they go believing in their own stories instead of looking at what’s really there. But for now you can call me Sister Nature.” She came closer and laid one of her hands on my head.

“Are you a goddess?” I asked before I could stop myself. “They say there were good gods and goddesses in older religions. Long before City times.” She nodded. “Some would call me that. Often the same people who believe that I actually look like this. And often people who ascribe a lot of things to me that are completely wrong. I am powerful, and I have a lot of responsibility. But am not the Source myself, I am also just a part of the web of life like you, and thus in a way I am your sister too. In another way you and all of your species are a part of me though. So you don’t need to worship me. You just need to respect me and care for me, otherwise you will commit suicide, which is what the civilisation of The City has been doing for centuries in different ways, and recently even literally in enormous numbers. There are not many of you left in The City. And you have given the rest of the web of life a hard time too.”

I looked at her friendly but worried face. Something in me was still afraid that she would repeat the words of the animals and the robots. Or what was she here for? And was I even worthy enough to look at her? Something about her made me feel small and insignificant, but also impure and evil. Ut she didn’t seem to be here to scold me or bring bad news.

“Adaman Yimmand. You called on the forces of Truth and Goodness. I can’t say that I always embody Goodness, but I can help you to find Truth, and I’ll give you the complementary Beauty that the ancients always connected to Truth and Beauty. Nothing Good is complete without Beaty, but you need to have the right eyes to see it. And I am here to tell you that your call has been heard. Truth and Goodness will protect you, and your friends, and what’s left of the human race in her new era.” I looked away from her eyes.

“So the endlings and robots were lying? I am not the last one?”

“You are not, but you could have been. You’ve seen the council of endlings with your own eyes. Humans are just one species, as all the animals and plants. And nothing lasts forever, as you’ve seen in backwards fashion. You’ve seen creatures that lived long before you. You know what happened to them: they won’t come back. And one day your species will undergo the same fate. Like the dodo, like the Iguanodon, like the prototaxites pillar trees of the time before trees that you’ve seen. Everything has a limited time in the history of Being. Even this planet, even the me of this planet. But that’ll take countless eras.” Her eyes were blue like a summer sky and looked at me with compassion. “But today is not that day for your species. And you are not the human endling. You were right. Your friends are alive. As are other people in and outside of the City. Not in number of millions or thousands of millions as used to be the case, but enough for a viable human population if you people will stop killing each other and start loving each other. And start cleaning up and being constructive again.” “But, how can I do that?” I said, rather hopelessly. “You’re one small lifeform. You can only try. But you already found Friendship, and you were looking for Truth too already. Things might fall into place when the moment is right.” She said. “I can’t promise you anything, but I will watch over you. Your species will have one more chance. And you are your friends will play a role in that. It doesn’t have to be the end.” “Me, and Evelith?” I said. “And the rest. And the fundless, and the outsiders. You must unite and reverse the slow self-destruction of your kind, to avert complete extinction and an actual human endling not far after the end of your lifetime. What your people do now can have a lot of influence on the future.” I looked at her. She was very real, very alive, and very female. Was she really the personification of life in my world?

“Do you know what you have to do, little one?” She said. “I have no clue.” I said. “That’s okay, you’ll know what to do when the moment is there. And I will be with you somewhere. I will be in you.” She seemed to become bigger and bigger, or I was becoming smaller and smaller. She took me in her gigantic brown hand, and breathed on me. “You will forget this dream, my child. Let the Higher Powers be with you, and with your stubborn little species.” She whispered while I fell asleep safely.

*

I opened my eyes when I heard the raven crow outside, and I found myself lying on my own bed, bathing in sunlight. On my table I found breakfast, and a pot with a tiny new plant.